Friday, June 28, 2013

Fun Music Friday: "Spread My Wings" by Troop


You...
can't...
tell...
me...
NOTHIN'...
about...
TROOP!!!!



Troop was EV-ER-Y-THANG and so was their choreography.  And I don't care what anyone says, Reggie was fly with that finger wave, pompadour, Gumby situation he was rockin' back in the day.  I will refrain from going into my "they don't make music like this anymore" rants and just let you enjoy this song on Flashback Friday.

What were your favorite Troop songs? 

I. Am. Obsessed. - Black and Sexy TV- Toya


"Black and sexy, baby..."


One of my roommates came downstairs while I was in the middle of a Black and Sexy TV marathon as she heard the tag phrase "Black and sexy, baby" coming from my iPad. "What is that?" she asked chuckling.  It was then that I informed her of my latest obsession since Friends, Hello Cupid, a webseries that is a part of the Youtube Channel Black & Sexy TV.  I started with that one and before I knew it, I was in the kitchen watching every episode of everything.  And I...am...obsessed!

Started by the filmmakers of It's A Good Day to Be Black and Sexy, comes this web channel that is doing more than changing the game: they've perfected the game and have set their own set of rules.  Black and Sexy TV has about five shows: Hello Cupid, RoomieLoverFriends, That Guy, The Couple, and The Number. My absolute favorite is Hello Cupid; a story about two roommates that take an online dating experiment a bit too far.



As much as I get frustrated with these characters, I absolutely love watching this show.  What I love about so many of the female characters is that they are crazy flawed.  There's no picture of perfection here. They do some absolutely crazy things and I dig that because what woman has not gotten a little crazy when it comes to love? Okay if you haven't please send me the very abridged version of how you've gotten away with that in your life. I need to know.

Issa Rae (I don't need to explain who Issa Rae is on this site anymore do I?)  produces RoomieLoverFriends which I think is so well scripted and well acted.  She is also hilarious on the show The Number.  Another thing that's cool about all of these shows is that somewhere in the season, the characters from some of the shows cross paths in other shows and thus crossing storylines. Brilliant!

You don't have to be black and/or sexy to dig Black and Sexy TV so if you love romantic comedies, I suggest hightailing it to their Youtube Channel and digging into a few of their series. Obviously I am going to recommend Hello Cupid because it's my fave. Oh and let me not forget to mention that the soundtracks for these shows are AWESOME! I want just about every song.

And while I know that everybody and their cousin Skeeter has an IndieGogo/Kickstarter situation happening right now, Black & Sexy TV is currently raising money for production through IndieGoGo. What's different about this is that you can vote monetarily for your favorite shows on their channel so that they can go into production for another season.  The perks are great too as you can get a digital download of their soundtracks as well as digital downloads of their shows. It's a win win so go and vote for great content featuring people of color with your dollars, y'all!

Have you been checking out Black & Sexy TV? If so, what shows are your favorite?  Oh and can anyone please bear witness with me that Cassius' smile on Hello Cupid is what dreams are made of? Good gracious!

Friday, June 21, 2013

The Package - Tia



I wasn't going to go to The Package (insert obligatory eye roll regarding the tour name here) because I couldn't go with Toya. I couldn't make it to the Nashville show because of work and she couldn't come here because it's Thursday and she has a grown-up job she has to be at on Fridays. 

But then this morning I woke up and was like, "It's Donnie and 'em. You HAVE to go." So I bought a ticket and made my way downtown. 

As always, the show was fantastic. I don't care how many times I see them, NKOTB never fails to impress. 

Because I was at the show alone, I was forced to share my thoughts with the Twitterverse and the Book of Faces. The following is my running commentary on the show. And if you're a 98 Degrees fan...I shaded them for almost their entire set. And I'm not sorry. 

Oh and before I get to it, can I just say that they CLEARLY need to re-order the line-up. Seriously, no unneccesary shade to 98 Degrees, but Boyz II Men are OBVIOUSLY bigger stars and better singers. They've had a longer career and have a wider catalog. I watched thousands of mostly white women sing along with Boyz II Men tonight, while a large part of the crowd seemed lost during 98 Degrees' set. I'm honestly not trying to be hateful. But after actually seeing the show, the order of the lineup makes less sense than it did when I first heard about it. 

Okay...on to the commentary. 

- Decided to go to the NKOTB show last minute. What's beyond nosebleed? That's where I'm sitting. 
I'm already embarrassed for 98 Degrees. Boyz II Men is one song in and they're KILLING IT!!! 98 Degrees has to FOLLOW that.
There are GROWN, STRAIGHT men singing along with Boyz II Men. EVERYONE is singing along. It is deafening in here.
YESSS!!! You'd BETTER do the running man during MotownPhilly.
98 Degrees are about to go on. I see A LOT of ppl going to the bathroom. No, seriously...that's happening
I don't know this song 98 Degrees is singing. Is this new? I don't think so...I think I just don't know this song. 
Oh this is pitiful...
Was there not a choreographer available?
I don't feel sorry for 98 Degrees. They should have stepped up their game after the 1st show. They saw what they were up against.
Okay 98 Degrees is finally singing something I know. From back when they were on Motown...*slow blink*
Nick is trying SO hard. Bless...
Seriously, just sing Una Noche and then get off the stage. (This was kind of mean. And someone called me on it. *Kanye Shrug*)
- Nick: "If you know the words sing along." Me: I don't know the words.
They're doing Una Noche so this should be wrapping up soon.
Did that one guy (I don't know anyone's name but Nick) just try to bodyroll??? I'm done.
There is a sistah going IN a few rows away from me. Her boyfriend looks like he wishes he was ANYWHERE but here.
 - Yes JON!!!!
DONNIE WAHLBERG IS EVERYTHING!!
Now THIS is choreography!!!
God wanted me in the nosebleeds. B/c if I was on the floor there ain't a security guard on Earth that could stop me from getting at Donnie.
YOU BETTER SING JOEY!!!! #WelcometoBlockParty
Jordan Knight is a DeBarge. You can't tell me differently
- Jon wanted no part of the the pelvic thrusting. I genuinely respect that. *turns and watches Donnie and Danny*
Not Valentine Girl!!! Danny gets to sing!!!!
- During "Please Don't Go Girl": "Do you have to leave?" NO I DON'T!!!!
I just need Donnie to stop wasting time and be my boyfriend.
Be my boyfriend til the song goes off...? Ummm...no. Be my boyfriend until from now on.
Oh Donnie couldn't kiss me like that. Not if he wanted to continue with the show.
I KNOW Jordan didn't just sing Tender Love. Oh Sir...
Do you and the other DeBarge kids practice that during the holidays?
Dear Jordan Knight, I'm perfectly fine with you doing a Prince song. I completely understand why the girl just threw her bra at you.
Y'all better flawlessly execute that Step By Step choreography!!!!
I bet Donnie owns stock in the company that makes his tear away tanks. *Googles tear away tank makers*
Danny just did the windmill. He's 40-something, right? Respect, dude.
Just Soundhounded this "I Don't Care" song that plays during the "Donnie Cam". It's from the show "Girls." No wonder I don't know it. That show gets two thumbs down from me. 
I love it when Jon smiles. 
- Jordan's falsetto is STILL SICK!!! 
- Donnie just said consummate. *giggles* 
- It is amazing watching 12k ppl wave their hands and sing Hangin' Tough #NKOTB
- And finally the BEST thing I heard all night (from the white guy behind me): "Someone is racist and made Boyz II Men go on first because they're black. Because there's NO WAY they should have gone on before 98 Degrees."

And goodnight ladies and gentlemen.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Got 'Til It's Gone- Toya




"Nobody cares about your love!!!"

I may or may not have shouted that at The Internets as I scrolled through countless pictures of...well...let's call him (goodness, what aliases do we even have left anymore?) "Dwayne" and his new girlfriend on my timeline. How can I explain Dwayne (rhyming not intentional, I promise):

- Cute. Real cute. Like...hot even.
- Loves Jesus
- Gifted
- Well liked
- Considerably younger than me (because apparently only 3 people are single and over 36 in Nashville and I'm one of them)
And most importantly...
- Really seemed to dig me at one point

That was until I pulled the ol' "I'm just too busy" cop out on him that I have been doing since Parker Lewis stayed winning. Oh yes. Even in high school I pulled this one. I have been known to cut men off way too quickly and unfortunately to this day only one guy has called me on it and that is a guy who I loved for years after he did. What happened to him? The same thing that's happened to most of them.  He's now married. And we never ever EVER communicate anymore. Moving on.

So why did I do this again? I just...I just kept coming up with so many excuses! I never gave him a chance really. I assumed a lot. This isn't going to work because he's too young or he's going to expect this from me or we don't have this in common and so on and so on.  As much as he asked me out, I just kept finding reasons to say no. I really didn't try. And now?


Doesn't she look pressed?!

So I've come to this conclusion: It's summertime. Summertime is my personal Cuffing Season which I realize is completely opposite of when the official Cuffing Season starts (hey I find warm summer nights romantic.)  Maybe that's why I have regrets. Maybe I made the right decision but just had the wrong reasons again.  Maybe the next time there's a guy interested in me (Lord let it be in this decade) I will imagine him in a picture with another girl on Instagram sharing a pizza first.  Then if that's too much to bear, I can give him a fair shot before I shoot him down with a rundown of my so called busy schedule right between the eyes.  I may actually be able to turn one date into a few dates.  Until then, I will grin, speed past his pics with him and his new boo, and bear it. I will also repent and ask the Lord for forgiveness because The 10 Commandments clearly state that coveting your neighbor's anything is not cute be it their boyfriend, donkey, new iPad mini, whatever. 

So as always, I have a playlist of songs to go along with this little pity party I put my self through.  The lyrics to some of these aren't all entirely relevant but when you are being this irrational why would anything make sense?:

Toya's How To Get Over It Playlist: 

2. "Why Did My Baby Get All Over Me"- Sunni (who says pity parties can't be dance parties as well?)
4. "We Belong Together" Mariah Carey - Because let's face it, sometimes it helps to get a little dramatic about it. If you REALLY want to be ridiculous, throw in "Always Be My Baby"ft. Da Brat and Xscape
5. "She's Not Me"- Madonna- This gives you a good six minutes to be catty.  Don't hate for too long though.  Too much haterade is bad for the skin. 
6. "Why Should I Be Sad"- Britney Spears. This is my jam!  Again, not completely lyrically relevant but this Neptunes produced track is the business. 

And last but not least...  

Because chances are by then, he probably doesn't. Most guys will only take so much rejection.  Sometimes the only thing to do when you've let a good guy go is to chalk it up to a lesson learned and try not to let a good one pass you by without good reason again. 

What songs have you played over and over to help you get over a guy?

Monday, June 17, 2013

NKOTB ARE FINE!!!!!!!!!!!


I (Tia) just cursed SO HARD when I saw this picture. I mean COME ON MAN!!!! How are they all getting MORE fine as they age?!?!?! That doesn't even make sense. I just...I mean...DAMN MAN!!!!!

Two Things:
1. Jordan Knight bathes in the waters of unicorns, has cocoa butter injected directly into his veins and makes tea with water from the Fountain of Youth. GOLLYDAWG!!!! How and why does he look like that?!?!?!?! I for real can't look at this picture for too long without dissolving into giggles and impure thoughts.

2. There is a reason that God has never allowed me to be alone with Donnie Wahlberg. I mean, I wouldn't even TRY to act right. Consequences...HA!!!!! I scoff at them when it comes to that Wahlberg boy. And THAT is why the Lord keeps me away from him. It's really for everyone's safety.

Now excuse me...I need some water or something. I can't even think straight right now. Goodnight...

You Gon' Learn Today: Joel Kinnaman - Tia


The Killing is back that means one thing: HOLDER!!!!!!

I really enjoy this show for a lot of reasons. It's well written and brilliantly cast. But the realest talk, the reason I never miss an episode, is Joel Kinnaman. He is EVERYTHING!!!! Not one episode goes by that I don't yell, "HOLDER!!!" at the screen.

Holder is dark. He's B-Rabbit with an attitude. He will snatch a kid up if need be. (No for real...in the first episode of Season 3 he snatched up this kid. It shouldn't have been funny but it was.) I love everything about him.

Joel is my boo in my head. I don't care that he's "supposedly" dating Olivia Munn. He was mine first. (I'm aware I sound like a crazy stalker. I'm not...I'M NOT.) But for real though, if they break up, I'm gonna try to get up with him. I've been trying to holler at Joel for two years. I just want to say "Hi" and stuff. That's all...Don't give me that side eye.

Anyway, Joel is currently filming the reboot of RoboCop, and I have a feeling he's about to blow up. Don't get left behind. Trust me, you want to know about Joel NOW. When he's a HUGE star and every one is trying to get on his squad, remember it was BGLU who hipped you first.

Remember that BGLU gave you this:


and this

(I have NO idea what's he's saying. Something about education. And for him, I would learn everything about everything.)

And sometimes this happens:

*sigh* I just...I just can't. 

HOLDER!!!!!

Monday, June 3, 2013

The Freaks Come Out at Night- Toya




Oh Nashville. You and your barely nothing stays open past midnight ways.

I left work really late and really hungry one night and for some reason had a hankering for french toast. Okay I always have a hankering for french toast..or pancakes... and pretty much any breakfast food. But tonight I just had to have some french toast by any means necessary. My schedule starting Tuesday is about to be insane so I wrecked my brain trying to figure out what place that wasn't IHOP would be open after midnight. I decided to stop by one of the few 24 hour spots we have in town to treat myself to some breakfast in a quiet atmosphere.

And what a breakfast it was! French toast with bananas, blueberries and strawberries, with whipped cream and a grilled banana underneath. The grilled banana was a nice surprise and set the entire dish off. SO good! When it came out, the older couple sitting at the table next to me- one white gentleman and a hispanic lady- asked what I had. "French toast!" I said happily as if I was about to burst into applause. They marveled at how good the dish looked and began to share with me what some of their favorite dishes were at the restaurant. I ooed, aahed, and smiled a bit before I started checking messages on my phone.

"She can't hear us. She's really into her phone" I heard the man say. "Yikes!" I thought. "I am now being one of those people that can't be in public without constantly looking at their phone." Thinking that I knew better than to ignore my elders, I put my phone face down and welcomingly engaged them in conversation.

The man asked why someone "young and nice looking" like me was at a diner solo and not at a club somewhere. I mentioned that I worked late at night and just wanted to be some place a little quiet. The wife said "Wait around long enough and you won't be alone long. You definitely look nicer than some of the girls that walk in here late at night from the club. You'll see." I chuckled and said that I probably won't be there that long and thanked them for their compliments. Someway somehow we started talking about loud restaurants and crowded clubs and the husband says "I hate when you go dancing and it's so crowded and you can't hear people talking." "Me too" the wife agreed. "We went to one club and it was wall to wall people! I hate when you go somewhere and are constantly bumping into everyone. We don't go to clubs a lot." "Well" the husband corrected "we do go to a few clubs but...they're a little different and cater to people like us." So I'm thinking, senior citizen clubs, clubs for people that are over 50 that like to salsa (yes I went there with the hispanic lady and salsa. Yes.) country clubs, etc. When I looked at the husband while he was talking, I noticed that while he was not exactly forthcoming his tone appeared to have become slightly luring.

Him: "There are only two in the area. You may know what I am talking about."

Me: *Cutting my french toast slower and slower* *blink* *blink* *blink* He can't be talking about....nah!!! That's somebody's Mee Maw and Paw Paw!* Umm...I...ummm...no. Not, I don't think I...

Him: *smiling slyly* Well there's one by the mission and...*looks at his wife* I think she knows but she just doesn't want to say it.


FLASHBACK

One night Melissa and I were coming from an event in walking distance to the Nashville Mission and I was driving. We somehow stumbled upon what looked like a restaurant in the cut with a giant M on it. I rolled down the window and asked the doorman what it was. "It's a club for swingers" he said nonchalantly. Now I think the M stands for Menage but that day it may as well have stood for Mind Your Daggone Business Toya because I kindly thanked him for that bit of information, rolled up my manual window with the quickness, and hightailed our behinds out of there.

Not really knowing how to end this conversation, for some crazy reason I said "You know, it sounds really exclusive." "Oh it's not exclusive though" he said. "Now they do make you sign a waiver but it's not exclusive at all. Mostly couples. But they do have single people there sometimes." Then he paused and added with a smile. "We've brought some single people there a few times."


o_O


o_o


O_O!!!!!


In the nick of time my waiter showed up and I asked for a box so I could take my food home... quickly. Desperate to change the subject I said "So you said that chicken sandwich you got wrapped in dough was really good? That sounds really interesting. I may try that. I think I need to try some new things anyway. You know, venture out more...WITH MY FOOD!!! I need to venture out more with MY FOOD!!!! Excuse me. I'm going to go use the ladies room."


As I walked away I heard the man say "If you leave us we'll have no one to talk to."


I sat in that bathroom and did not blink for about five minutes.


Thankfully when I got back to my table my check was there. I could not get my wallet out fast enough. "Got some ketchup on me" the man said. As I picked up my box of food I replied "Yeah...ketchup can uuh...be a trip sometimes. Heyitwasnicetalkingwithyoutwohaveagoodnightbye!" I waved goodbye and tried to hold it together as I saw a reflection in the window of them looking me up and down as I walked out of the door.


With my mind going 100 miles per minute trying to figure out why an elderly couple would try to enlist me in some sort of alternative hanky panky, I got in my car and adjusted my rearview mirror. It was then that I thought to myself "I am never wearing false eyelashes ever again."