Monday, November 25, 2013

The Hot Mess Championships- The 2013 American Music Awards

Any explanation for this yet?

Y'all, it really wasn't all that but I didn't want to let anyone down.  So here it is, my annual play by play of this year's American Music Awards Hot Mess Championships.
  1. The show is opening up with Katy Perry singing her latest single "Unconditionally" off of her new album Prism.  "I will love you unconditionally. There is no feeeaaaaar noooow!"  Praise Him Katy!!!! I mean...look. Everything in me wants this to be a worship song, I swear. Where's Hillsong with the remix? 
  2. So Lil' Mama is the surprise guest on TLC's performance?  She did her thing in that biopic as Left Eye but I was kind of hoping for a hologram. I'm not gonna lie. 
  3. I'm glad that Pitbull is hosting because I really need to believe that he is good at something...else.
  4. R. Kelly? Nelly? TLC? Is this the American Music Awards from 1997?
  5. I like Pitbull tonight y'all! Oh Lord the sky is about to part isn't it?
  6. Justin Timberlake is so foolish! I tend to think that he is a bit on the cornball side (his music balances it out) but he is cracking me up.  It's quite obvious that he has outgrown the room.  I know what though:  he better get most of what he is nominated for tonight.  Y'all will give Justin Timberlake his just due for that"Pusher Love Girl" masterpiece. Oh yes you will.
  7. The one singing lead in One Direction is the only one I know. They could replace all of the others and I would never know it. Do I like this song they're performing because it sounds like Mumford & Sons, Lumineers,  ie. what I like to call "Colonial Music"? The jury is still out on that.
  8. Ariana Grande is singing her little 90 pounds wet heart out right now and y'all are gonna learn today.  Sing Lil' Mariah!!!! Okay this really does look like 1997 with Mariah Carey singing with Boyz II Men on BGV's. Where am I???!?! 
  9. Seriously how many endorsements does J-Lo have?!
  10. Say what you will & know I don't care but I so wish that Justin Bieber was performing one of those #MusicMondays joints at the AMAs.  They are giving me 90's R&B slow jam realness and since that is rare nowadays, I will take it where I can get it. 
  11. So Rihanna just accepted an award looking like she is fresh from out under a hooded dryer.  She's going to unwrap her hair before she performs, right? I mean... 
  12. Oh! I'm about to get MY life! ImagineDragons!!!  Umm...those two songs in this medley are not in the same key but...well, okay! *GETS CRUNK* *Throws bows*
  13. I'd like to take this time to remind everyone that this one time Bobby Brown, The KANG of R&B, hosted the AMA's and did a wonderful job. Don't ask me why I felt the need to bring that up, I just felt that I needed to bring that up. 
  14. Red is not a country album. Sincerely, a Taylor Swift fan. 
  15. *Commercial break* Back to Rihanna's hair. I miss Lottabody Wrap 'n Tap. That was everything to me and my Toni Braxton haircut in the 90's. Back to the AMAs.
  16. Michael presenting with AKON...for the Hip Hop category. What kind of alternate universe are we in?! 
  17. When I tell you that Macklemore CAMPAIGNS?!?!?!? He uses his platform well. He brought up Trayvon Martin, gay marriage, Free Lil' Boosie, I mean, everything!
  18. Naya Rivera's body is so disrespectful to every piece of pizza I just ate. 
  19. Well I guess it wouldn't be fair if we didn't let Pitbull perform since he's hosting and all. This song with Ke$ha is not the business. I will say that I'm not used to Ke$ha not looking dirty like she just rolled around in baby oil and glitter in a 7-11 parking lot. Someone just asked if that was Brooke Hogan singing with Pitbull. That just blessed me!!! 
  20. NO. ONE. SPEAK. DAVE.GROHL. IS. ON. YES. SIR. And with Joan Jett!!!! Listen, I live for what is happening right now! What do y'all know about The Runaways?! 
  21.  I totally forgot that Marc Anthony and J-Lo aren't together anymore! I was wondering why they weren't sitting together! 
  22. Come on Memphis! I knew that Justin Timberlake wasn't dancin' for y'all tonight. He made it clear that he needs his post 30 year old rest at his show in Nashville a few weeks back.  WHO is on the organ SLAYING????!!!!!!! This organ player has me rockin' like a church mother on the front row!!!!   The fact that we just let Justin Timberlake church us off of a song about alcohol is just ridiculous but it is what it is. He and that band killed as always. 
  23. Someone said that the organ player was Twinkie Clark and projectile tears came out of my tear ducts for about five minutes straight. I can't even deal with that.
  24. And now for my guiltiest pleasure of 2013.... Florida Georgia Line! Look everyone is allowed one!  Oh and they brought Cornell Haynes with them. I've never liked this "Ride with Me" song but I'm a sucker for nostalgia so *Dougies*
  25. Ariana Grande won the New Artist award??? Vote, children!!!!! Good for her! Her album is so good!
  26. So people really have an issue with Macklemore bringing up Trayvon Martin because he's white? Damned if you do, damned if you don't I suppose.
  27. Bill Mahr is presenting the Icon award to Rihanna and called her the voice of our time. Huh? I am so spent with mainstream media right now.
  28. These bedazzled bobby pins in Rihanna's head are giving me Women's Day at Greater Grace First Missionary Baptist realness and I am 50 shades of perplexed right now. Who on her team thought this was a good idea? They are usually so on point!  Is she saving her hair do for the after party?
  29. Okay she means this performace. I'm sorry but Rihanna is giving me Whitney (minus the voice) right now in her movements. Don't stone me but it's real. I am loving this.
  30. Rihanna’s mom just came out and gave God the praise during her presentation to Rihanna. I want to make a connection between that and where those bobby pins came from but I shan't. Not in this moment. Let me be sensitive.
  31. Darn right I want Miguel to win this R&B Male Artist award. I voted for him too. 
  32. Aaaaaand of course Justin Timberlake won.  Y'all remember when George Michael won for Best R&B Artist back in the day? Yup!  That. 
  33. Macklemore's "Can't Hold Us" song makes me want to march to City Hall. This is my jam!!! 
  34. Someone please tell me what Ryan Lewis of Macklemore and Ryan Lewis does. And is that not Sean Kingston singing the hook?
  35. I will never get over not seeing Fall Out Boy at Ryman. Ugh!
  36. Y'all know who votes for these awards repeatedly right? Okay. So we can only be so disappointed. 
  37. The Celia Cruz tribute performed by Jennifer Lopez: Stay right here in this lane, Jennifer. This is where I like you. You do THIS. I'd go see her do this in Vegas over "Love Don't Cost a Thing" ANY day!
  38. So Robin Thicke just isn't going to win tonight for his "If you love Marvin Gaye then you'll like..." summer hit huh?  In the words of the late, great Michael Joseph Jackson, "You can't win, you can't break even and you can't get out of the game." Tough on ya!  To be clear, I have wanted Robin Thicke to win something for every single album EXCEPT this last one, A Beautiful World on up.  I just can't stand his music now. 
  39. I've been waiting for years to get back to where I could take Christina Aguileira seriously again.This performance makes me happy. These Mickey Mouse kids are letting us have it tonight.
  40. Since we just got done being all sensitive, I miss Drake. Where is he tonight?
  41. Gaga's performing with R. Kelly tonight? I can't believe I am about to voluntarily watch that.
  42. *Two minutes later* Like...I'm watching this on purpose though.
  43. I like the music to their song but the lyrics to it are so lazy! I don't know why but I expected more from a woman that has dressed up as pork chop & the man that has given us 500 chapters of Trapped in the Closet. 
  44. I really really really wanted this TLC performance to work but it just doesn't.  It's time for these ladies to let it go. I hate that for them but it's just time. While I am rooting for her in life, Lil' Mama did not do a good job performing. Maybe they should have done a medley but I seriously think that would have worn them out. 
  45. Miley Cyrus is closing out the show in a two piece. She has a strong "G.I. Joe part" doesn't she?
  46. This acid trip of a backdrop. I just... She's singin' though. She tears this song up every time.
  47. Okay that performance is so reflective of her career. She's talented but her talent is often overshadowed by cartoonish antics. I need her to explain that kitten but I am almost afraid of what the explanation is going to be. 
  48. Taylor Swift, I love you and Red is good but it DOES NOT have "Pusher LoveGirl" on it. Between Taylor Swift and Justin Timberlake, there are at least two awards that they are going home with that they both know they do not deserve. 

    Well that's it y'all. Those are my real time thoughts on this year's AMA's. The show was pretty lackluster but as always,it was hard to look away. Well, except during Lady Gaga and R. Kelly's performance when I went in the kitchen and got myself another helping of pumpkin cookies. I'd rather be trapped in the closet than watch that foolery. Thoughts?

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

BGLU AMA Predictions

Hey guys!! This is Tia. I want to start by apologizing for posting this video so late. We recorded it weeks ago and I simply forgot to post it. As such, voting for all categories for the American Music Awards has closed except for Best New Artist. You can go here to cast your vote. (While I would never tell you how to vote, I will tell you to vote for Ariana Grande.)

So even though it's too late to get in on the voting action, I hope you guys enjoy the video. Also, let us know if you'll be watching and who you're predicting.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

John Mayer Speaks Truth - Tia

If you've read anything on this site, you pretty much know that Toya and I are music snobs. I can't speak for Toya, but I feel that more often than not, a lot of today's music is crap. It's just noise, rehashed ideas and an insult to the intelligent listener.

Don't get me wrong, I have an iPod full of guilty pleasures. But increasingly, I find myself uninterested in most of what is put out on the airwaves. And it took John Mayer to articulate why.

The short version: music has just been dumbed down. There's no thought to it. Lyrically, it's insulting and disingenuous. And musically, it's elementary and uninspiring. I know that not ALL music out today would fall into those aforementioned categories. There are artists who still make thought provoking, quality music. But clearly a lot of what we hear has been, shall we say, intellectually reduced. Creativity seems to have been lost. (Why do you think there's so much sampling going on?) And a lot of those "artists" striving to make something different fall painfully short because, frankly, they shouldn't be making music in the first place.

(I just re-read this and I realize I sound like a bitter old woman. Sorry, I'm not sorry.)

I am wholly convinced that aside from a handful of artists, very few people who currently inundate the airwaves will be remembered in 20-30 years. Where the 80s gave us music that we will forever remember, the 2000s have (mostly) given us music that we constantly and willfully forget. And that my dear readers makes me sad.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Throwback Thursday: Love Actually - Tia

Where do I even begin? My favourite movie of all time, Love Actually, was released 10 years ago today. (I won't get into how old that make me feel all of a sudden.)

It's easy to forget that Love Actually is technically a Christmas movie. We get so caught up in the love story of it all that the fact the movie is set during the holidays almost completely escapes us. But the holidays are coming and everyone has their favorite flick that they'll watch over and over whilst stuffing their faces full of Christmas treats. And while I've been known to watch Love Actually at all times of the year, I usually ramp up my viewings between November and December. A once a week viewing is a conservative estimate. It's usually more like once every two or three days. And frankly, I'm not ashamed of that.

Toya sent me this great article about what Love Actually taught us about love. (Joni Mitchell's "Both Sides Now" is my wallow in misery about relationships anthem thanks to this movie.) And Huffington Post had what I can only imagine was a World War 3, Godzilla vs Mothra, street brawl of a discussion trying to come up with the list of the best parts of the movie. It's nice to know that I'm not the only person obsessed with this movie. (When I say obsessed I mean I can quote it from memory...all of it. "Woooould we call her chubby?")

I've had a rough day and I feel like a viewing of Love Actually is in order. And I'm not going to lie, the day I found out that the movie was streaming on Netflix and that I could watch it ANY TIME and ANYWHERE I wanted not just at home on the couch via DVD, I did the Hugh Grant prime minister dance.

Okay who am I kidding...I do that dance all of the time when I'm happy. And if some of you are honest, you probably do too.

Happy viewings, y'all.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Stuff Black Girls Do: Skate - Tia

If you've been reading for any length of time you know a few things about me. I moved back to Atlanta last year and don't know a lot of people. I have a job that often keeps me on the road and prevents me from meeting people. And I'm a bit of an introvert, so meeting people can be a daunting task for me. 

Not having my core group around like I did in Nashville was making it easy for me to just stay at home and not do anything. Once I closed on my house, I easily convinced myself that I was nesting and that I didn't really "need to go out right now." But there's only so much nesting an unmarried, childless woman can do. And I came to the realization that if I didn't want to die alone in my house eaten by cats, I was going to have to make an effort to do...SOMETHING...and meet some new people. 

Enter skating.

I won't lie. I've wanted to learn how to skate well (emphasis on well) since watching ATL. I love the artistry of skaters. It's amazing and graceful. 

Friday, November 1, 2013

Fun Music Friday: Justin Bieber "Recovery" - Tia

Me: I went ahead and downloaded Recovery. That little Bieber boy is DOIN' IT and for that he can have my little coins. 

Toya: Yeah, he is giving me the slow jams I need and I refuse to be sorry. 

I started to title this post, "Be Mad" because folks are hating on Bieber about his slow jams. If you fall into the category of unnecessary hater, I cordially invite you to be mad and have several seats over there because I'm not here for you.

Bless him, Bieber managed to write one of the smoothest R&B jams that I've heard in a long time. And not once did he call a girl out of her name. People can be mad at this if they want to, but this song is what I look for when it comes to R&B music. He told a story (with a bit of man-begging which I always like) over a very smooth, well produced melody. What's not to like?

I'll grant you his vocals don't have a traditional rhythm and blues sound. Personally, I think his voice is better suited for pop music. But he stayed within his range on "Recovery" and didn't attempt any unnecessary riffs or yodels. This may not be the Justin sound we're accustomed to but he more than made it work.

I wish there were more songs out there like this. I wish there were more young R&B artists who understood the necessity of making good music that moves people rather than offends them. Every R&B song doesn't need a rap verse. Calling your girl your b!tch has never been endearing nor should it be taken as a compliment. And believe it or not, most of us don't want to hear about your bedroom antics set to music. Make good music. That's all most people really want.

But my hat is off to Justin for "Recovery." He put it down on this one. Any song that makes me want to bounce (and possibly arch my back a little) can have my money and my ear all day.

If you also feel the need to give Justin your coins, click here or here.