Tuesday, February 14, 2012

The Return of the Hot Mess Championships: My Thoughts on the 2012 Grammys

Great job LL!
 My favorite group in the world, New Edition, performed in town the night of the Grammys. No way I was missing them for the Hot Mess Championships. That's what DVR is for. These are my real time thoughts while watching this year's Grammys.
  1. Love that Jersey is opening the show. Go Bruce! Bruce Springsteen is a sexy beast at 63, aint he? *Cough* Jersey water *cough* Max Weinberg is killin’ on these drums. Steven Van Zandt always seemed like he is a really close talker to me.
  2. Pray Deacon LL! I wish that him praying and his wedding band would distract me from counting how many times he has licked his lips already but no such luck. Pray for me.
  3. Lici called him Yum Yum Cool J.  I can’t take it.
  4. Carrie Underwood looks great.
  5. Seriously, LL is such a distraction.
  6. Sitting behind Adele: Did they say that was Taio Cruz? Ooooh Victor Cruz! Never heard of him.
  7. OMG Taylor Swift get away from Nicki Minaj. Who sat them together? Is she still young enough to have a guardian?
  8. Bruno Mars is a cross between Frankie Lymon, Johnny Mathis and Israel Houghton. He is killin’!  Can he close the show too?  I had no idea he had all of this in him!  Let's give a hand for Sexual Caramel!
  9. Now the Etta James tribute.  I have friends that sing who call Alicia Keys “Alicia Off Keys”.  I can't always tell that she is off. My ear's not that sharp.
  10. Sing Mother Raitt! Bonnie Raitt looks like she keeps that good candy in her purse.
  11. I live for Adele's makeup.
  12. Chris Brown's on. That's right. You mad.
  13. “Beautiful People” is my JAM! I really like this performance.  I'm glad he doesn't look like one of those kids from Meteor Man anymore though.
  14. Yeeeah “Otis” won!
  15. Yall were wrong for letting Kelly Clarkson go onstage with her weave looking like that. She's done nothing to deserve this injustice.
  16. Poor Jason Aldean.  His mic just gave up the ghost.
  17. Foo Fighters!  BFF Fact: Tia has loved Taylor since he played drums for Alanis Morrisette and I have loved Dave Grohl since Nirvana days. I flew to LA to see The Police reunion and that was the only show on the tour they were opening.  We missed it because a 45 minute drive took 3 hours. That is why I hate LA to this day.
  18. I’m so proud of LL right now! He’s doing great.
  19. Rihanna's vocals are...better. 
  20. Okay “We Found Love in a Hopeless Place” makes me want to just be young and reckless. Like I just want to start spray painting stuff and running through the streets like that movie The Warriors. I like this performance!
  21. I’m not really feeling this duet though. Yikes.
  22. Is Coldplay still on? Is this a label showcase? Why is this so long? I hate a showcase (that was for you Tonya)!
  23. Teach the babies, Dave Grohl! Great speech!
  24. Ryan Seacrest is our Dick Clark. I just feel that he will be 65 looking just like he does now. He’s a machine.
  25. Adam Levine's high pitched singing and caressing of this microphone stand is not conducive to holy living. That's really all I have to say about that but yeah for PJ Morton playing on this Beach Boys tribute!
  26. Foster the People look adorably nervous right now.
  27. The Beach Boys have a combined age of 896 and still their harmonies are killin’ everyone in the place right now. It’s really that simple.
  28. In case you didn't get that, Stevie Wonder's “ok” after the audience couldn't clap on beat can be translated as “Yall are slow”.
  29. I. love. Paul .McCartney.
  30. Taraji looks great! Side note: I know that she and Common used to date. I don’t understand how one can function as an ex of Common. I really don’t. Not without a restraining order. Moving on.
  31. So Chris Brown won. Besides El Debarge’s record, I haven’t heard any of the albums that were nominated so I have no opinion. 
  32. Watching Joy Williams in the Civil Wars reminds me that you never know where God will take you and your talent. I'm encouraged by that.  I'm now salty that I didn't go see them play The Ryman.
  33. Say what you want about Taylor Swift. I can hear her song one time and know all of the words to the song by the second time I hear it.  That girl writes. It has to be so liberating to sing “Mean” on the Grammys. That “alone in life” line cracks me up every time.
  34. I like so many Katy Perry songs...except this one.
  35. Yes Adele. Fun sized girls stand UP!  I can't tell if her voice sounds different or not since the surgery. I need her to come out with a clothing line.  I will say this about Adele though:  I appreciate her but I do think that she's a tad overrated. However I also thought Lauryn Hill's debut album was overrated. At the time it was released there wasn't too much greatness out there, similar to right now. It's easy to shine. Not to take away from her talent. I’m just sayin’.
  36. I have completely blacked out during this Glen Campbell section.  I don't know any of these...wait! *Fist in the air* ”Like a rhinestone cowboy!!!!”
  37.  Ok until "Rhinestone Cowboy" came on, I actually forgot that I was still watching the Grammys.
  38. I love that Bon Iver looks like a physics teacher. I'm gonna check him out.
  39. Is Tamar Braxton Lady Gaga's seat filler?  Umm...hmm. Okay.
  40. I think that Jennifer Hudson did a great job doing "I Will Always Love You" her way under the pressure she was under. I have no problem with her not doing the “big ending”. It sounded as if she was singing to Whitney directly and she seemed rather emotional. The pressure of hitting that note after losing one of your idols the day before?  Much like the critiques following the performances at the Michael Jackson memorial program, I think people have been very unfair to her.
  41.  I know some people were salty because they didn’t show pics of Etta James and Don Cornelius during the tribute to those that passed but they did each get their own separate tributes. Who they didn’t show ANY love to however was Jani Lane from Warrant and yes I do feel a way about that.
  42. If they don't bust out with a Soul Train line, this is going to be one crappy Don Cornelius tribute.
  43. That was one crappy Don Cornelius tribute.
  44. I thought Chris Brown was J Cole when he came out. I don't know how I feel about him performing twice, even if it is with David Guetta. They couldn't get someone else on a song?
  45. And why are the Foo performing again? I'm confused by everything right now AND I have a headache.  I'm getting too old for all these glow sticks flashing. I don’t understand at all what is happening right now. What is this?
  46. If you can't dance to dubstep then why is it called dance music?
  47. Umm, right after Drake introduced Nicki Minaj, a commercial came on. What have we been spared from?  Is this so we can gather for prayer before we watch it? Okay, it’s back on.
  48. Real talk?  I'm concerned. I’m very concerned. Like, even I can't clown this. I’m so serious.  And everyone from her label to the Academy to CBS who okayed this in rehearsal is suspect to me right now. Something is really terribly wrong.
  49. I love that Adele is weeping and wailing over winning. She’s adorable.
  50. I love Paul McCartney and all but why is he performing twice again? What is really going on? Can we just bring back Bruno Mars please?
Well that’s it.  I'm yawning heavily and it's only 9:30. That pretty much sums up how I feel about this year's Grammys. It was just… a-ight.

Alright the floor is open. What did you all think?

PS. One more thing: I know I said that I wasn't going to say anything else about Nicki Minaj's performance but someone put this pic up on Facebook and I think it pretty much sums up how a lot of us feel.


Christina said...

OMG. That pic of Bill Cobsy totally sums up how I felt about Nicki Minaj's performance. I too was confused by a lot of the repeat performances on the Grammys this year. It's like top 40 radio, they just had to keep repeating the same artists over and over. I thought that Jennifer Hudson did an excellent job with the Whitney tribute. And Adele is adorable. I am not a big fan of hers but I can't deny that she is talented and seems like a very humble person. The Don Cornelius tribute was whack. I also agree that Jani Lane and Vesta Williams should have been shown in the In Memorium photos.

isa said...

That Bill Cosby photo is worth a thousand words that I now do not have to type. Thank you. :)

Patrice said...

Yes, that Bill picture is PRICELESS. HA! / I have many comments about the show, but one in particular about the N. Minaj piece. I worked the show and experienced the rehearsals. It may be hard to believe, but she toned it down just a bit. But from jump street, my peers and I knew it was going to be sad news bears once her performance aired. (And no, I had no say in creative :) --just a fellow dressing room coordinator in the mix)