Thursday, December 29, 2011

Top 4 Girl Crushes of 2011 - Tia

I am not ashamed to have a girl crush. I think girls are way awesomer (yes, awesomer) than boys. So I usually keep a rotating line-up of girl crushes. The following are the ladies who made the top four of the year.

4. Angie Harmon

I will forgive Angie Harmon for backing John McCain during the 2008 elections. No one is perfect. She more than makes up for it by playing a BAMF on Rizzoli and Isles, a show that I just discovered this year. Plus she's a good old fashioned, Southern, praying mama. Angie may have some questionable political leanings but I still think she and her raspy voice are awesomesauce.

3. Kat Dennings

I know...I'm so late to the party with Kat Dennings. Apparently, she has been a favorite of fan boys for just short of forever. I've seen some of her movies and thought she was funny. But she didn't make it to the girl crush list until I started watching 2 Broke Girls. I love how much her character hates hipsters. (I, too, hate hipsters.) But her overall snarkiness is what keeps me watching the show. And I don't think she's faking it either. Honestly, you can't fake that kind of snark.






2. Mindy Kaling

Not even gonna front. Until I read her book, I had NO shine for Mindy Kaling. I just assumed that the reason she played Kelly Kapoor so well is because that's how she was in real life. And Kelly Kapoor is the kind of girl who gets on each and every last one of my nerves. You laugh at her because she's funny. But you can't stand her because she's obnoxious.

I ended up picking up her book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) after I read a brief snippet about it in Entertainment Weekly and couldn't stop laughing. I figured if a 10 line write up could send me into hysterics then the book was going to be epic. I literally bought the last copy Barnes and Noble had. (That's always a good sign.) I spent the next week reading it during my plane rides and layovers. I can't tell you how many side eyes and worried looks I got from people because I would just randomly burst into mildly hysterical laughter. (The worried looks were from people who thought I was crazy and were hoping against hope that I wasn't about to do something insane.)

Once I finished the book I wanted to be Mindy's friend in real life. She seems like the kind of girl who wouldn't judge you for saying that not all babies are cute. And she would go shot for shot with you in regards to who could tell the most embarrassing stories. In short, I want her to be my home girl in real life. (I need to figure out how to make that happen.)

1. Paula Patton




*sigh* My crush on Paula Patton is ridiculous. I mean it is unyielding. Some days I want to be her because she seems like so much fun and she's so pretty. And other days I want her to be my 2nd bestie. (C'mon y'all...Toya is now and forever the 1st bestie...I don't care who comes along.) I once read an article where one of her co-stars (I think it was Andre 3000) said that she's not only sweet but helpful. He said something to the effect of "Pretty girls like her aren't usually helpful." Okay, so let me get this straight, she's crazy hot (her husband, Robin Thicke, put her on the cover of his FIRST (yes FIRST! do your research!) album)
she's nice to her co-workers and she's helpful when she really doesn't have to be. Yep....I need to be her friend. 

Robin Thicke's new album accomplished two things: 1. It made me like a whole album of his for the first time since A Beautiful World and 2. after listening to the commentary for Love After War on Spotify it made me realize how much he loves his wife for being so ride-or-die and I love a woman who stands by her man. So she just added yet another favorable trait to her already long list of endearing, redeeming qualities. It's official, I love her. She is my ultimate girl-crush. I want to be her friend so badly. If I ever get the chance to meet her I can't promise I won't act a complete fool. Seriously, it probably won't be pretty. 

Friday, December 23, 2011

Home- Toya



"No Toya, you don't know them."

That's what I had to tell myself while I was sitting at in a South Philly coffee shop today.  I just kept looking over at the door hoping to see someone I know.  It's the second day of my two week vacation and I must say that I miss Nashville terribly.  I mean, TERRIBLY.  I just don't know too many people here anymore.  I miss going somewhere and seeing familiar faces.  I miss my friends.  The only thing I am loving about Philly right now is that I can do all the walking I want to do.

Side bar: Am I the only one who when they haven't exercised in a long time gets itchy legs?  I have been walking city blocks for hours and mid-way through I wanted to go into a scratching frenzy but was afraid that I would fall to the ground and roll myself into traffic.

Anyway, I am sure everyone here is very nice but I don't like any of these people in here.  Ok that's not true.  I don't know anyone in here. Everyone I have interacted with has been quite nice (take that southerners who think us northerners are all mean). But man. I really hate it here today and I want to go home.  And that home for me is Nashville.

I am sure this puts some cold water on my hopes of eventually doing some travel writing.  I kept trying to take pictures with my new camera but I was so annoyed half of the time.  I tried to go to new places that I found suggested through Yelp and Foursquare but I eventually wound up back at my old hang spot, South Street.  Still, it has been no fun today.  Maybe it's because it hasn't really been busy down here.  I mean I did get started rather early today and some people are still at work.  I'm usually elated to come down here but not today.  Today I miss my home and today I can fully admit that my home is Nashville.

I have never been so happy to be around my parents in my life though.  I am sure I would be much happier today just hanging out with them.  Yesterday I helped my mom cater at my home church's Christmas party.  It was fantastic seeing so many women that I grew up knowing.  After that my dad and I watched Chopped for a few hours.  He's not a fan but when I am home my dad will watch anything I want to just to spend time with me.  I miss that.  But honestly, I think being around my family and walking city blocks are the only things about being back home that I miss.

My plan today was to go and sit and write but it's been so long that I've been in a big city that I chose to just walk most of the day.  I'm thinking about venturing into University City soon because I said that I would go somewhere new.  Might as well. I have two long weeks here to fill. Gratefully, I must add, but two long weeks nevertheless.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Le Sigh - Tia


I joined Match.com a few weeks ago. (I have since suspended my account...Yes...already.) Being the age that I am, being single bothers me more than I would care to express for fear of being labeled a wimp or being labeled stupid for being “obsessed with being single.”  And since my job does not often afford me the luxury of time, I figured I would give it a shot.

After several weeks on the site I learned a few things:
  1. You must be completely honest – Lying on Match defeats the purpose. If you post old pictures the person is going to be disappointed that you lied and probably not want to date you further because you’re a liar. (At least that's how I would feel.) So just put it all out there. Be brutally honest. It helps weed the herd.
  2. It’s easy to know who’s worth you time – I could always tell the guys who just looked at the pictures as opposed to reading my whole profile. The former were easy to spot because the only thing we’d have in common was that we were both looking for humans to date. The guys who were worth responding to made an effort to point out things from my profile in their emails to me. That was always nice.
  3. There will be creeps – I got the following email TWICE from one guy, “Would you ever date someone who wanted to be dominated in wild ways?” “Dear Sir, BYE!!!!” *clicks on the block user button*  There will be guys who are trying to work out some weird black girl fantasy (or whatever fantasy that is associated with your race.) They are easy to block. Use the block feature liberally and often. 
But the most important thing that I learned was that for all of my posturing, I want to be wanted. I did connect with one guy. He was nice, a Christian, no kids, gainfully employed and our shared musical taste was scary. After a few weeks of emailing he called and we played musically Jeopardy for 3 hours during our first phone call. While I found myself very much liking him, something in me wouldn’t let myself just go HAM in the feelings department. That turned out to be a good thing.

I have no idea what happened but the guy pulled what I like to call a “Fizzle, fizzle, fade.” It’s what happens when two people are really getting on like a house on fire and then one of them decides it’s not working and rather than just say so, they stop calling, emailing, texting. Whatever the “relationship” was just fizzles and fades and then the person is gone leaving the faded on person wondering, “WHAT HAPPENED?!?”

I don’t have the time or energy to dissect the last conversation that we had to try to figure what, if anything, I may have said to turn a guy who was calling once and day and texting several times a day to just disappear. But I would be lying if I said that my ego wasn’t a little bit bruised. It was nice to be wanted. It is not often that I find men who are interested in me. Not my looks. Not my paycheck (which is not enough to be interested in.) But just me...Just Tia. So to come across a cute one, who shared my musical taste and most importantly my religious beliefs was...well, it was fun and nice. Those few weeks made me remember what it was like to be in the early stages of being pursued. The anticipation of every text.  The easy conversations. The hope. However brief, I did enjoy it. 

I can't say that I'm all that optimistic at the moment. The whole thing was a bit of a last straw for me. At least for the time being. But I will say that getting my little feelings hurt did shake some things up in side of me. It made me realize that maybe a relationship just isn't in the cards for me. (Not trying to be depressing or self loathing or anything...it's just where my head's at at the moment.) Getting one's ego busted does something to you. At least it did for me. It shifted my focus and made me realize that there are a lot of things that I still want to do. There are things that I need to make more of a priority and this last episode moved "getting into a relationship" to the bottom of the list. *coughoffthelistforthetimebeingcough* So for now I've decided to work on Tia. I've decided to start doing the things I want to do (FINALLY learning Spanish properly), work on the things that matter (like my walk with Christ), crossing stuff off of my bucket list (travel, training for a half marathon, etc), and moving on to the next phase of my life. 

Getting blown off made me prioritize the desires in my life. It hurt. I've dealt with it. (Although Adele's One and Only is still taking me through some changes) And now it's time to put on my big girl pants and keep it moving. So I've decided 2012 will be the year of the Grown Woman. It is time to put away childish things and behaviors and be about my business. I plan to travel. I plan to run. I play to eat great food with interesting people. I may even finally bite the bullet and buy some real estate. And if while I'm making moves love comes along, well....good on it. But it will definitely have to catch me. No more sitting on the sidelines waiting for life to happen. 

One last thing: I do have to thank dude from Match for introducing me to my song of the moment. If it hadn't been for him I may have never heard this. 

Song of the moment - Tia






I can't thank the dude from Match for much more than a busted ego. But I can thank him for adding this song to my collection.

I don't know how I missed this one. This was right up my alley. I was a slow jams junkie in high school. I  once had a friend's boyfriend come up to me and thank me for a mix of slow jams I played. This would have been everything that I believed in back then and then some. So I'm not sure how this one got missed. But I'm so glad I know it now. I have played it every day since Thanksgiving. There were a few days when I just put it on repeat and let it run.

I love a good slow jam. Especially one that will make you bodyroll no matter where you are or what you're doing. I had my iPod on shuffle while I was doing dishes the other day and this came on. Bodyroll. I was in the car driving to Kentucky listening to my "Recently Added" Playlist and it came on. Bodyroll. Sitting at my desk working on reports...you get the idea.

Dude from Match is a footnote. This song is from now on.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Be Inspired- Toya

I still can't believe he's gone. :(

When my phone rang and I saw that it was my big brother (in my heart) Free, I got super excited. For one, he's hilarious.  Seriously his comedic phrasing is something else.  He's a big dude too, no joke. Kind of like an east coast Suge Knight with a huge heart of gold. Not that Mr. Suge Knight doesn't have a heart of gold or anything. You didn't hear me say that. Moving on.

"Free, how are you?" I answered excitedly.  "I'm at (insert industry party here) with an open bar. I'm good, Ma."  he said with his Bronx accent.  He went on to ask me how I've been.   I told him that I was doing okay.  Now in my last post I was feeling terrible about turning 37 in a few weeks but in the few seconds of talking to him my mood changed completely.  To catch him up I basically told him that it has been hard pulling the creativity out of me because I am so used to helping other people with theirs.  I'm not used to being the "artist". The writer. The creative one in front. It's a really weird feeling. It was even weird for me to just type that.

"I"m a creative person." I told him. "Yes you are" he agreed. "It's taken me a long time to be able to say that.  I think it's been difficult for me to comfortably live in that space."  "You need to come up here and be with some people moving faster than you for a little while.  I'm going to take you out.  It'll be good for you."  He is so right! I am long overdue for some out of town inspiration.  I love Nashville and my heart is here completely but I need to walk around Harlem for a little bit. I need to soak up the Village.  I need to be a part of a faster pace.  I can use a boost of inspiration but it can't stop there.

It is up to me to consistently be inspired and motivated. As an extrovert I draw on the energy of others and my surroundings.  If I have to buckle down and write a few pieces, it is almost impossible for me to do it all while alone.  I almost always wind up at Starbucks just to get myself started.  I can't even begin a cleaning project unless I either have the right kind of music playing or I have the right kind of TV show on.  I have to be inspired to do everything.  Part of the responsibility of being a creative person is to maintain your own inspiration.  If you don't feel like it, you have to get to feeling like it. I haven't done well with that in the past but I am getting better.  Here are 5 things that are inspiring me as of late:



1. Tumblr: Some of the fashion and photography on Tumblr gives me life!  People are so creative on there! You have to be really careful though.  I now know things about Amber Rose that I never ever wanted to know.  By the way my Tumblr site is http://www.toyaisrandom.tumblr.com/

2. The color yellow:   I've been drawn to yellow lately. My screen saver is yellow.  Sometimes I just stare at a sheet of yellow Post It paper. It gets me going for me for some reason.  I read this article about aura colors and the one for yellow pretty much describes me to a tee.

3. My current Robin Thicke playlist simply entitled "37":  Robin Thicke is my new musical evangelist.  Pastor Thicke has been ministering to me ever since Love After War dropped last week.  "Never Give Up" gets played at least 10 times every morning and by the time I'm convinced to keep going,  "New Generation" kicks in and inspires me to just be a better human being.  Also on my playlist are "Ask Myself", "Can You Believe", and "Full Time Believer".  Great songs.






4. Thrift store shopping: It is because of Tumblr that my room currently looks like a thrift store exploded.  I find thrifting to be relaxing. I have had so much fun finding treasures at thrift stores to put together cool outfits.  I just started thrifting and I am hooked!  Also I am a blazer junkie.



I am fully aware that this looks like something Mr. Furley from Three's Company would wear but I don't care. I love it.

5. Reminding myself that it's not up to me be great:  I recently started attending a bible study on Tuesday nights and one of the worship songs we were singing kept talking about how great God is.  I don't think I've ever read in the bible where God commands us to be great. You know like "And thou must be great!"?  I could totally be wrong here but I know it talks about being faithful, holy, loving, kind and some other things.  It even says that when He made man that He said man was good.  He didn't even say THAT was great.  I started thinking about if I gave myself a break and stopped worrying about being great how that would allow me to create without fear. So many times I have randomly written something thinking it was going to be one thing and it turned into something else. Then we get a comment or an email from someone saying that it was what they needed to hear at that very moment.  I didn't do that. I didn't even set out to do that. If I did it wouldn't be genuine and I would drive myself crazy trying to write something deep.  I will work on letting God be great and in the meanwhile I will try my best to at the very least be consistent.  I think He can work with that.

What are some of the things that inspire you?

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Countdown Part 1: The Severity of 37- Toya



This morning it hit me that (Lord willing) I will be 37 years old in less than two weeks. THIRTY. SEVEN. 

If you say the word "seven" out loud a few times you will start to realize how close that word sounds to the word "severe".

THIRTY SEVEN.

And  I freaked out. I mean, how long can I take a bathroom break curled up next to the sink before someone knocks on the door thinking I've drowned, freaked out. Now normally my freak outs concerning my birthday come in September around the time the season starts to change. I'm used to that. But today was a special kind of freak out. Because 37 is close to 40.  Much closer than it is to 30. And I swear no one else in the world is 37.  Tia and I have had numerous conversations about how that number is just...odd.

"Thirty seven just sounds so harsh don't you think?" I asked Tia while preparing for Thanksgiving. "You can't even divide it by anything! That's how alone it is."  "Thirty seven is only divisible by thirty seven." she laughed. "Actually it can only be divided by itself and one."  37 and 1. That could depress the hell out of you if you thought about it long enough.

I'm not tripping out about being thirty seven and single because I have always been of the mindset that as for me, until I am fully immersed in fulfilling my purpose and pursuing my passions consistently, a relationship right now would only be a distraction.  I'm cool with that.  What I am not cool with is that I can look back on this past year and see how I have talked myself out of numerous ventures time and time again because of fear.  Fear can punk you in numerous ways. One of those ways is when we consistently talk ourselves out of things, don't put a deadline on great ideas and pull out a bunch of excuses to put things to the side like we have all of the time in the world. I look back at some of things I wished planned to do and think "Did you not realize that you'd be turning 37 this year?"  I realize that dragging my feet has a lot to do with the fear of the unknown. You can't live life that way.

I didn't realize that it was fear holding me back until someone got in my face about last week. Literally.  They asked what I was working on and I told them a few ideas. "So what's keeping you from doing that?"  I didn't really have a legitimate answer. I guess to me I just fell out of love with some of these ideas and put no urgency on them. And then they let me have it.

"You are so f***ing dope but so f***ing wack at the exact same time!"

Sometimes people just have to put it where you live.

They went on to list all of these things about me that made me so...umm...dope and then explained that I was wack for not doing them yet.  "What do you need?"  they asked me. "Well I would need this and this."' "I can help you with that" they told me. "Now what else." They took away all of my excuses and when it came down to it, the only thing holding me back was myself.

So what am I doing about it?  I have reached back out to the people that have offered to help me so I am not in this same state on December 14, 2012 freaking out about being two years from 40.  I have also promised myself that after I have this pity party of remorse today that I am just going to do everything afraid.  I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect or great at things that I don't give myself the time I need to just improve over time. You have to respect the process and you don't respect the process when you stop the process.

Coming Soon: Countdown Part 2-  I Can Still Be Cool, Can't I?

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Confessions Of A Road Warrior - Tia


Warning - This story is about vomit. If you are easily grossed out, you should go read something...anything else. 


I call this one: Why I Don't Eat at Subway Anymore 
or
Remember that time I went full Linda Blair on a plane


So I’m not much of a puker. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve thrown up since I was about 8 years old and would still have fingers left over. To me, vomiting is one of the most traumatic things that your body can inflict on you. You have no control over it. And what are things from the inside of your body doing on the outside? It’s gross and I don’t like it and I certainly don’t understand people who do it for weight control. If that’s my only option I’ll just stay in my big girl jeans. 

As one who does not puke often I’m unfamiliar with the pre-puking warning signs. The sweating. The off feeling in your stomach that you can’t really clarify. The dizziness. But I should have known something was wrong when all of those things ran up on me as I sat in the Houston airport. But I’m a trooper. I’m a flyer. I’m a ROAD WARRIOR! We don’t let little things like feeling sick keep up from making it to our destination. Sickness is for wimps. (Hindsight just backhanded me across the jaw.) 

It had been a long weekend. My brother had graduated from college and I’d spent the better part of 4 days with both of my parents (eek!) and my brother in the Hell-like Houston heat. I was tired and just wanted to go home and sleep in my own bed. So as I sat in the terminal I could almost see the finish line. A short hour and 30 minute flight and I would be home and able to curl up in my pink jersey knit sheets. 

In an effort to expedite my pilgrimage to my bed, I decided to grab dinner at the Subway in the terminal. I figured I would get a ham and turkey sub, stave off the hunger and make it home full so I wouldn’t have to do anything when I walked in the door except get into my PJs and go to sleep. 

I sat chatting with my dad as I finished my sub. Everything seemed fine. He left to catch his flight and I settled in to wait for my flight. No worries, no concerns, just the thought of a queen sized bed with my name on it. 

Ggeterrererfw&&@(&#&# (>?@p???#$)*+lmg*@*^$&t

Was that my stomach???? No way. No human organ could make a sound like that. Must have been my imagination. Why is so hot in here all of a sudden? Is the terminal spinning? I must be really tired. I can’t wait to get on the plane and take a nap. Just to be safe better go splash some water on my face in the bathroom before I board. Because, you know…that’ll help. 

I made my way to line up for the flight. I was A8 or something like that so I was one of the first people on the plane. Once I boarded and got settled I walked to back galley and asked the very sweet flight attendant for a club soda. I told him I wasn’t feeling well and I needed something to settle my stomach. He assured me that it was fine and that even if I did puke it wouldn’t be the first time that week he’d seen and had to clean up puke. But at that point I was still in denial that I was THAT SICK. There was no way that I was going to throw up…on a plane. I’m not girl. I made my way back to my seat in the middle of the plane and put my head between my knees expecting the nausea to pass. I realized about 10 seconds too late that not only was it not going to pass but I was about to recreated that scene from The Exorcist with shocking similarity. 

The plane of was pretty full at this point. People in the aisles trying to load the carry-ons, dawdling waiting to sit down, basically creating a human obstacle course for me to traverse to get to the get to the rear lavatory. I did not care about anything other than getting to the bathroom. Hand over my mouth I start Heismaning my way down the aisle. (For those unfamiliar with the Heisman Trophy.) A lady I shoved turned around with an attitude presumably to yell at me until she realized that this was an emergency and yelling at me would only result in her delaying me in getting to the bathroom and probably end with her being covered in vomit. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her vault into the nearest seat to get out of my way. Good choice, lady…good choice. 

I made it to the back galley in just enough time literally puke everything I’ve ever eaten EVER onto the floor. I tried to mumble an apology to the flight attendant but the effort proved to be futile because apparently my stomach wasn’t done. I walked into the tiny bathroom, fell to my knees and puked for a good 10 minutes. Absolutely NOT an exaggeration. I began to cry because I honestly thought I was going to die. It wouldn’t stop. All I could think was, “THIS is how I’m going to die. ON A PLANE!!! NO WAY!!!!” 

After what seemed like an eternity my body finally just gave up. I figured it was trying to figure out a way to get me to puke up my pancreas or something and that’s why everything was on pause. My body was just trying to work out the logistics of getting my internal organs out of me through my mouth. 

I had puke in my hair, on my shirt, in my shoes. It was EVERYWHERE! I started crying again because I was sooooo disgusted. The flight attendant knocked on the door and told me that it was going to be okay and that he’d seen people be sicker than I’d been. LIAR!!!!

I waited as the HAZMAT team came and began powerwashing the floor outside the bathroom. Mortified doesn’t begin to cover how I felt. As I sat there trying to figure out if I could deploy the escape slide and run away, the pilot came over the loudspeaker to inform the COMPLETLEY FULL flight that the reason the flight hasn’t left was because there was a sick passenger on the flight. Thanks! Just when I didn’t think it couldn’t get any worse, it did. Oh, then it got worser. Yes…WORSER!! The next knock on the door a few minutes later was the pilot himself.  He explained that because of how sick I’d been they weren’t allowed to let me fly. I. WANTED. TO. DIE!!!!!!!!!! While I completely understood the rationale behind not letting an ill person fly, the fact that the pilot himself had to tell me to basically, “Get off my plane” (In my head that last sentence is said like Harrison Ford from Air Force One) was the equivalent of DEFCON 1 embarrassment. At least I thought it was until I realized that I had to walk off of the place, IN FRONT OF EVERYONE…WITH PUKE IN MY HAIR. I had never in my life prayed so fervently for Jesus to crack the sky and make his glorious return. 

With as much dignity as a person who smells like vomit can muster, I gathered my things and walked off of the plane. The flight attendant came out with me and tried his very best to comfort me. This is why I fly Southwest. Their flight attendants either really care or are really great actors. Either way…they rock. The gate agents heard what happened and went into overdrive to get me rebooked. Again, WAY TO GO SOUTHWEST. And after one last assurance the flight attendant got back on the plane and everyone was on their way…Everyone but me. 

The next flight out was not until the next morning. Awesome! I called my mother and told her that I was coming back home. Covered in puke, stomach sore, and reeking of embarrassment (among other things), I drove to Target to get new clothes (my checked bag never made it off of the plane.), went to my mom’s, showered and went to bed. When I woke up the next morning all I could do was moan and pray that I never had to face ANYONE on the plane again…But that would be too easy. 

Dear Nashville, your ½ degree of separation is annoying as crap. As if the whole experience wasn’t enough, one of my close friend’s roommates was on the plane that day. Several days later while at said friend’s house, the roommate came downstairs and asked, “How are you feeling?” He then began to give an account of what it looked like from a passengers’ prospective. He said for the most part, the people around him were completely sympathetic and just happy that they weren’t the ones who were projectile vomiting on the plane. Whether he was lying or not, I’ll never know. 

Needless to say I haven’t eaten Subway since. I did call and speak with the airport manager. While they accepted no culpability, he expressed his sincere remorse about the situation and sent me a gift card to the coffee shop at the airport, with a note, “I was going to send you a Subway gift card, but then realized that probably wouldn’t work. ) Good thinking Sir. I still can’t walk past a Subway without cringing. Maybe one day I’ll go back and face my fears. But for now, they’re on the list with Denny’s, Olive Garden and Captain D’s as places that I’d rather go hungry than eat at their establishments. You try puking up your pancreas and tell me you wouldn’t feel the same way. 

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

I Don't Care What You Say. We Are Still in a Recession. -Toya

Tonight two of my coworkers and I won first prize in our office karaoke contest at our annual Christmas party. And guess what song we did?


Aaaaand guess who wore a pair of overalls backwards?

Hey for $300 you would’ve done it too. I mean we split it three ways but still.

With The Office being my favorite tv show (well the first few seasons anyway) and me joking about being the Black Pam Beasley, it was all I could do to not take the mic from my boss after he gave us our prize money and do this right here:


Maybe next time. But in the meanwhile...


Thursday, December 1, 2011

Real Time Commentary: The Misadventures of AWKWARD Black Girl Episode 11


I did not expect it to go down like THIS!!!! Can't wait to hear what you all thought.  Here are my thoughts in real time:

    1. I need her to forgive Jay. Seriously. He's been stellar up until Halloween night. He should at least have a chance to explain.
    2. Besties before testies! HAAAA!
    3. I never quite understood how women can call each other “bitches”. I can't call you something in love that I'd punch someone else in the face over.
    4. I need J's Soul Glow t-shirt and I need it now.
    5. How do you go back to Fred when Fred hasn't said word one about checking for you? I know they say actions speak louder than words but can he say SOMETHING?
    6. Why do we always blame ourselves when men screw up?
    7. J's wig just took me in.
    8. NOOOOO! She will not freestyle in this playground cypher! NOOOOOO!!!!!
    9. NOOOOOOO!!! Car pool with you to school nooooooooooooooooooo!!!! I am in pain!!!!
    10. I would transfer to another school in another state.
    11. “For his hand in booage.” ABG has some of the best one liners.
    12. Geek IS Gangster. That shirt is so cute.
    13. Wait...did D just tell the girl he was talking to on the phone that J was his boy Reggie? He's the worst.
    14. “But penguins don't even fly!' Favorite line so far.
    15. Yes we get to find out what happened with A!
    16. Dead at 6:28. I cannot. CAN-NOT.
    17. “Girl are you gay now?” I remember I got asked this the first time I went natural. And “When did you catch cancer?” CATCH cancer? Nina is the devil.
    18. Loneliness and free booze most often leads to disaster.  Please remember this at your next office Christmas party.
    19. J does not do well at parties.
    20. I told yall A was fine! I told yall A was fine!!!! Please recognize!!!!!
    21. They are really umm... “free” at their office parties, aren't they?
    22. Uh oh. Uh oh. We aren't about to see this are we? Please no sex scene. Lord help.
    23. “Who knows what that back story is” Smartest thing Ce Ce has said during this entire episode.
    24. PICK UP! Please talk to White Jay. Please. Is Jay participating in Movember because his beard is doing a lot right now.
    25. Did he just force himself over there? I like a man that takes charge. And he's bringing cupcakes? Yall already know. Team White Jay for the win. It's a wrap.
    26. Why did they just show up at her spot like someone died? If Fred is about to holler at J why is Darrius with him? Is he the wing man? What is this high school? “Yo my man wanna holler at you right quick.” I can't.
    27. Ok he had car trouble. He came over there by any means necessary didn't he? Again, Jay is bringing cupcakes so...
    28. “I like you. I have for a long time.” Wait...wait...wait....Wait.
    29. Why is Darrius so close to their conversation? This is so high school! I CAN'T with Fred! I mean, I could but...never mind. Just... never mind.
    30. Aaaaaaand of course here comes White Jay.  If I have said it once I have said it a thousand times: Cupcakes, I mean chemistry wins over cuteness any day of the week. I am still Team White Jay until A gets some swagger lessons.

      Ok guys. What did yall think of ABG episode 11?


The Art of the Red Lip




Is it me or does MAC artist Caroline D look like she could be Jessie J's older sister?  

As I previously posted, I am a fiend for red lipstick right now.  There are so many shades with so many undertones.  I believe that anyone can rock a red lip.  I haven't quite perfected mine and this short video gave me some tips on what I can do better.  So if you are looking to spruce up your holiday party look a bit or just wanted to know how to rock a bold lip, red or not, this is a good video to watch.