|I still can't believe he's gone. :(|
When my phone rang and I saw that it was my big brother (in my heart) Free, I got super excited. For one, he's hilarious. Seriously his comedic phrasing is something else. He's a big dude too, no joke. Kind of like an east coast Suge Knight with a huge heart of gold. Not that Mr. Suge Knight doesn't have a heart of gold or anything. You didn't hear me say that. Moving on.
"Free, how are you?" I answered excitedly. "I'm at (insert industry party here) with an open bar. I'm good, Ma." he said with his Bronx accent. He went on to ask me how I've been. I told him that I was doing okay. Now in my last post I was feeling terrible about turning 37 in a few weeks but in the few seconds of talking to him my mood changed completely. To catch him up I basically told him that it has been hard pulling the creativity out of me because I am so used to helping other people with theirs. I'm not used to being the "artist". The writer. The creative one in front. It's a really weird feeling. It was even weird for me to just type that.
"I"m a creative person." I told him. "Yes you are" he agreed. "It's taken me a long time to be able to say that. I think it's been difficult for me to comfortably live in that space." "You need to come up here and be with some people moving faster than you for a little while. I'm going to take you out. It'll be good for you." He is so right! I am long overdue for some out of town inspiration. I love Nashville and my heart is here completely but I need to walk around Harlem for a little bit. I need to soak up the Village. I need to be a part of a faster pace. I can use a boost of inspiration but it can't stop there.
It is up to me to consistently be inspired and motivated. As an extrovert I draw on the energy of others and my surroundings. If I have to buckle down and write a few pieces, it is almost impossible for me to do it all while alone. I almost always wind up at Starbucks just to get myself started. I can't even begin a cleaning project unless I either have the right kind of music playing or I have the right kind of TV show on. I have to be inspired to do everything. Part of the responsibility of being a creative person is to maintain your own inspiration. If you don't feel like it, you have to get to feeling like it. I haven't done well with that in the past but I am getting better. Here are 5 things that are inspiring me as of late:
1. Tumblr: Some of the fashion and photography on Tumblr gives me life! People are so creative on there! You have to be really careful though. I now know things about Amber Rose that I never ever wanted to know. By the way my Tumblr site is http://www.toyaisrandom.tumblr.com/
this article about aura colors and the one for yellow pretty much describes me to a tee.
Love After War dropped last week. "Never Give Up" gets played at least 10 times every morning and by the time I'm convinced to keep going, "New Generation" kicks in and inspires me to just be a better human being. Also on my playlist are "Ask Myself", "Can You Believe", and "Full Time Believer". Great songs.
4. Thrift store shopping: It is because of Tumblr that my room currently looks like a thrift store exploded. I find thrifting to be relaxing. I have had so much fun finding treasures at thrift stores to put together cool outfits. I just started thrifting and I am hooked! Also I am a blazer junkie.
I am fully aware that this looks like something Mr. Furley from Three's Company would wear but I don't care. I love it.
5. Reminding myself that it's not up to me be great: I recently started attending a bible study on Tuesday nights and one of the worship songs we were singing kept talking about how great God is. I don't think I've ever read in the bible where God commands us to be great. You know like "And thou must be great!"? I could totally be wrong here but I know it talks about being faithful, holy, loving, kind and some other things. It even says that when He made man that He said man was good. He didn't even say THAT was great. I started thinking about if I gave myself a break and stopped worrying about being great how that would allow me to create without fear. So many times I have randomly written something thinking it was going to be one thing and it turned into something else. Then we get a comment or an email from someone saying that it was what they needed to hear at that very moment. I didn't do that. I didn't even set out to do that. If I did it wouldn't be genuine and I would drive myself crazy trying to write something deep. I will work on letting God be great and in the meanwhile I will try my best to at the very least be consistent. I think He can work with that.
What are some of the things that inspire you?