Monday, November 28, 2011

A Letter to Mr. Same Guy on a Different Day

For a friend...or two

Dear Mr. Same Guy on a Different Day,
Before you say anything else please know that we've already met.
You've never officially met ME but I already know YOU.
Not in the "Footprints in the sand, my child I carried you" kind of way.
I've just seen your kind before.
The insecure good looking superstar kind of guy who constantly needs to hear how good he is?
The guy who looks deep into your eyes not because he is really listening to you but because he is vain enough to actually look for his reflection in your eyes while you are talking?
It's kind of funny making your acquaintance again.
I thought you all moved out west. 

Although I didn't recognize you upon sight
I knew when you slid your arm around me exactly who you were.
Your hands all seem to gravitate to the same spot on my waist. 
And I'd be a complete liar if I didn't admit in my best Beyonce' voice that
"Your touch was driving me CRAZAY!"
Until I caught a good whiff of that subtle cologne you all wear
False Humility...for Men.
"For the man that always needs to hear that he is good enough
That he is smart enough
And daggone it people like him!"
Come on now.
We both know you wouldn't be in this town if you were convinced otherwise.

There's a small part of me that wants to be friends 
But you know how the saying goes:
"Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me three times, come on Toya, for real?"

So before you get around to attempting to spend just enough time to get to know me so you can eventually take up all of my time asking me repeatedly what I think about you;
Before you start to confuse your lust for my constant affirmation for actual love;
Allow me to read off of my list of pre-programmed answers to your inevitable repetitious questions:
"You're awesome!"
"You're SO talented."
"Everyone has a bad night."
"I have no idea why you're not signed yet.  You are TOTALLY better than that guy."
"Of course you have what it takes."
"You're going to make it someday." 
"I believe in you."
If you'd like you can take this list and turn these answers into motivational flash cards 
Because I won't be around this time.

But it was nice seeing you again meeting you.


Metch said...

Must be something in the air. I just said a similar letter to a "friend" on the phone, I was going to write it but this "friend" needed to get the message via voice. It may stick better that way.

Wish I would have come across this post first though because I definitely would have used the flashcard line! Love it!!!

Brina said...

Guuuurl, you went hard

Danielle said...

I think I've dated this guys once or twice. Just kidding, this is the only guy I've ever dated. I would say that shows something wrong with me, but I live in Nashville where no other kind of guy seems to exist...sooo...