Monday, October 31, 2011

Have a Happy (and safe) Halloween!

Hey everyone!  This weekend I dressed up as Janelle Monae for Halloween.  It was so fun! So much fun that I am pretty sure I will be rockin' my hair like this more often:

Now it looks a little more like a hightop fade than hers so I am going to play around with it more.  I am so happy I switched back to natural hair. I really am. 

I'm not a big Halloween person so I will admit that this was the first time I have dressed up since the 90's!  It was a blast.  You know what I am also not a big fan of?  My alarm clock going off to Vincent Price's monologue in "Thriller". No way.  I hit that alarm clock, got deep up under the sheets and went right back to sleep. Over 25 years later and that thing still scares the mess out of me. 

Have some good clean fun today everyone and eat lots of candy!

Quitter Challenge: Chapter 5 - Tia

Confession time: I've been having a really rough time sitting down and blogging about this chapter. I've read it no fewer than 4 times. And each time the intent...?intention...?plan was to blog a happy shiny review about the chapter and keep it moving. But I just haven't been able to. I will explain as best I can while trying to stay on the topic at hand. I would hate for my explanation to become a non-sequitur and just simply be random babbling. Although can it be a non-sequitur since it's not a conclusion?(ACK!!!foiled again by random nerdy thoughts)

I am a planner. I had my whole life planned out by the time that I was 16 or so. College. Lots of Science classes (which I loved.) Meet a boy. Marry a boy. Go to medical school. Have a child after I finished 4 years of med-school. Start my residency in pediatrics. Have another child once I was finished. Work. Squeeze in a few more kids. Start my own practice. Retire early. Yeeeaaahhhh....none of that happened.  I scrubbed out of any chances of finishing college with a pre-med degree after my physics final reduced me to tears. I can't buy a date. And although it is by default, I am still a PROUD, card carrying co-founder of Team Empty Utero. (You seriously couldn't pay me to have kids right now.) But my personality is one that plans. And I make GRANDIOSE plans. I am go big or go home. And I don't believe is failure. At least I didn't. So I had no back-up plan to the whole med-school, perfect life scenario. Back-up plans were for quitters and losers and people who needed an excuse to not finish. And I was NO quitter. (Interesting that I'm now writing a series of posts ABOUT being a quitter...Do you smell that...Take a big whiff...that scent is IRONY.)

So when Chapter 5 began with talking about plans, I tapped out. I didn't want to hear anything about having a plan, big or small, because look where all of my planning got me. So instead of reading and blogging, I avoided and procrastinated. Because, you know, ignoring things will make them go away.

I'm tempted to just leave this post as is; wrap it up with a, "You know...I've got nothing." But I REFUSE to believe that I took NOTHING from this chapter so here goes:

1. Don't be to focused on the plan - Jon talks about the Plan Myth. Basically a lot of us buy into the myth that we need a great plan before we can change the world. And because we lack a step-by-step plan we do nothing. I have to be completely honest with you. I struggle with both sides of the planning coin. My personality type is one that plans. When it comes to my life I need a plan. While I am not so Type-A that I plan each and everything, I DO NOT like not knowing what the future holds. Conversely, I've spent so much time watching my plans fall through that now I don't want to plan at all. I don't want to get my hopes up. I don't want to try anything. But I don't want to do nothing. And I want to try it all. Basically, I want to plan and have everything succeed or I don't want to do anything. Yes, I am FULLY aware of what a mess I am, thank you very much.

Rather than focusing on the plan, Jon suggests we spend more time on the passion and then practice the passion. As I am genuinely struggling with my "passions" right now, I will say that I very much like the idea of planning AFTER the practice of the passion and hope to come back to the method in the very near future. But for now...I move on.

2. Cinderella was a fairy tale - I LOVE March Madness. Young men play their hearts out in a 1 and done tournament that NEVER ceases to amaze or entertain. And every year one team is always dubbed the Cinderella team. The mid-major team that came out of nowhere to make it to the Final Four (Looking at you Butler) is inevitably lauded as the Cinderella team. But to hang that moniker does a great disservice to the team. It's basically a backhanded comment. "Yeah, it took a fairy godmother and a miracle to get you here." To dub someone's success a "Cinderella" story is to detract from the hours, days, weeks, months and maybe even years they spent working tirelessly and without recognition on their craft. I'm POSITIVE that the 2010 Butler Bulldog team spent numerous hours working on defense, shooting endless free throws, running plays until it was all that they could think about it. And in the end it payed off.

There is something to be said about being diligent in the small things of our dreams before we "break big." We've all seen what happens we someone gets too much too soon. For me it's hard to be faithful in blogging every day. (Insert your "Clearly" comments here.) But I want BGLU to succeed. I want us to be voice for our generation. I want us to be different and still be relevant. And for that to happen I need to commit to doing the small things (blogging daily) every day.

It's the process of doing small but necessary things, over and over again and letting the momentum build, instead of getting decked out by a fairy godmother and being escorted to prominence in a blinged-out carriage. - Pg 130

I don't like sucking at things. I like being good at what I do. As such, I know that being great at blogging and having a great site will take time and practice. And I need to learn to appreciate this time of being David the sheep herder small before I can be David who slayed Goliath great. Plus, sheep herder small gives you time to screw up.

3. Invisibility is a great super power - There is something to be said about the readership of this blog. We have enough readers that having a vision for something bigger doesn't seem completely ludicrous. (I just spelled ludicrous "Ludacris." Thank you pop-culture.) But our blog is also small enough that if we screw up it's not life shattering or blog ending. Anonymity brings safety. For now I can voice my options on just about anything I want without severe interwebs backlash. I must admit, that's a good feeling. When I go off the rails and throw in a random swear, when I go on some uncharacteristically long ramble about some new British actor I currently LUV, when I whine about something that isn't truly whine worthy it's okay. I can work out the kinks before hitting the big stage.

Anonymity allows you to make big, gross mistakes without everyone watching.  - Pg 133

I like the fact that I can be a complete wreck and only a few thousands strangers will read about it. But I know me. And I can allow my invisibility to breed complacency. While I may be able to say what I want I can't become so comfortable at being free that I don't work on being great. So while the plan is to get big I must remember that I have to diligently utilize this quiet little corner of the web to get great (leave my grammar out of this.)

If you have Quitter you're probably wondering, "This is what she took from chapter 5...???" Like I said, I struggled with this one. Writer's block, lack of vision/motivation/passion, this chapter as a whole....any way you slice it, this was not going to be my greatest post. But it's done. (Insert a whimper of a "yay" here.)

And if you don't have Quitter...okay you really need to stop procrastinating and get it.

Quitter Challenge: Chapter 5- Toya

The scenario that Jon Acuff uses to introduce Chapter 5,  "Wait on the Main Stage",  is something I am really familiar with.  He writes about speaking at the Catalyst conference where there are lab sessions and main stage sessions. The lab sessions usually hold about 4,000 each whereas the main stage sessions that are later on in the conference hold about 13,000 people.  I worked for a music festival so I have seen something very similar.  During the day there are a bunch of concerts and things happening simultaneously in front of various attendees but towards the end of the day everyone gathers in front of the main stage to see the festival headliners.  I have seen once obscure bands go from playing earlier in the day to becoming main stage artists once they sold more records and became more popular  This transition in a band's career can be a big deal. Acuff writes about how he has had friends tell him numerous times "We've got to get you on the main stage".  While that is a compliment saying that he is of main stage caliber, compliments like that can be a bit frustrating.  I mean like "You are such a good catch. We got to get you a husband soon." frustrating.   Yes it's a compliment but I think that sometimes people who want the best for us don't understand that there is a process, preparation and patience it takes to be successful.  I am a better catch at 36 than I would have been at 25, trust me.

Chapter 5 talks about the process of going from passion to practice to plan.  Often we go from passion to plan without the benefit of putting some practice in place.  We want to go from 0-80 mph once we figure out what it is that we want to do.

"We make the most important plans and decisions with the least of amount of information." 

That couldn't be more true.  That's not just true regarding your dream job. That's true about life in general.  For instance, I remember in third grade saying that in the year 2000 I was going to be married with kids.  Remember when we thought back then that the future, the year 2000, was going to be like The Jetsons?  Where's my jetpack man?!  Anyway, I definitely didn't have enough information because as I found out who I really am, getting married before 30 would have been a huge mistake.  Getting married before knowing the things I've learned about myself just within the past month would've been a huge mistake! I am open to adopting a child, but I really don't have a huge desire to have kids.  I changed and so did my plans based on the information that I now have about myself. Oh and one more thing that changed is that I went from wanting to work at a record label to being a writer.

Yup, a writer.  That's not just what I want to be. That's what I am.  It's taken me eight years since we began this blog to admit that.  And now that I have admitted to this, there is a part of me that is freaked out over all of the discipline it takes to be one.  I want to make plans that I fear that I will chicken out on.  That's why I really appreciated Jon Acuff including this quote from the founder of Google: "We knew that Google was going to get better every single day as we worked on it..."  By the same token, if you don't work on something every day, you won't get better.  And that's all I have resolved to do at this point.  Steadily work on becoming a better writer.  I could write out all these goals about who I'd like to write for and the books I want to write but as for now I am just going to write consistently.  Currently that is my only goal and it is enough.

Writing for BGLU has been great.  I can be transparent here.  It's comfortable. With that in mind, I am scared like crazy to write for anything else outside of the other two blogs I write for (one is about natural hair and the other one is about cupcakes).  I know my audience here and they know me. I'm worried that another audience won't get me.  Basically,  I'm scared of the main stage! There's comfort in the "lab session" part of life.  Acuff writes about the gift of invisibility in Chapter 5 and I agree that it is a gift.  I used to say that if we could do BGLU all over again I would want Tia and I to use pseudonyms. There are mistakes that I can make here that I can't make anywhere else.  I can change my mind here, and I have, as much as I please.   Bottom line: I just need to stop being such a scaredy cat, grow in confidence and walk in patience as I steadily prepare to reach main stage status. If I don't, what's the point of reading Quitter anyway?

Sunday, October 30, 2011

I don't want to be American anymore or how I fell in love with Theo James - Tia

Are you serious??? I mean, are you KIDDING me right now? This man is STUPID FINE!!! AND HE'S BRITISH!!

I'm so relinquishing my citizenship. Don't get me wrong, America is AWESOME. But come on son. Men like this with accents. It's like my own personal brand of crack.

I was minding my own business (That's ALWAYS how it starts.) I was cleaning out my terribly full DVR and watching episodes of Law&Order: UK. (Yes, there is a UK version.) And a commercial for Bedlam came one. Now, normally, I fast forward through the commercials. Isn't that what DVRs/Tivos are for? But the remote was not immediately handy. I'm SO glad it wasn't. I caught a glimpse of Mr. James and could not get to youtube fast enough to find out more. Then I saw this and realized that I'd found my future husband.

I mean, seriously, this is all that I believe in. Hot: check. Can fix things: check. Looks great in well made clothes: check. British: checkcheckcheckcheckcheck!!!!!!

I know I seem hopelessly boy-crazy right now. Yeah, I'm owning it. God makes beautiful things. And I for one plan to appreciate them. My LAWD!!!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

You Done Good Girl!: Abbie Vicknair of Remember Betty Talks to BGLU About the Race for the Cure

Abbie Vicknair
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month so BGLU thought it would be a great idea to feature one of our readers who has taken great strides in the fight against breast cancer.  Abbie Vicknair, fellow longtime Blockhead (New Kids on the Block fan) went from being a fan in the stands to a fan in action when she decided to join Remember Betty in the fight against breast cancer.  She is now their coordinator and captain of their various Team Betty teams within the US. Remember Betty was started by New Kids on the Block’s Danny Wood, whose mother Betty Wood passed away in 1999 from breast cancer.  BGLU talked with Abbie about Remember Betty, Race for the Cure, and what happens when Blockheads unite for a great cause.
BGLU: Tell us about how Remember Betty got started, Abbie. 

Danny Wood and his late mother Betty Wood

Abbie: Danny Wood started Remember Betty as a way to keep his mother's memory alive because he didn’t want her passing (due to breast cancer) to be in vain.  It originally started off with Danny's solo career and proceeds from certain shows would be donated to different charities. Eventually it was rolled into the Susan G. Komen Foundation and now all of our actions are focused towards Komen events (Race for the Cure 5K and 3 Day Marathons, Passionately Pink Parties).

BGLU: And these are year round, right? These aren't just in October?
Abbie: No these are year round. October is the big month that everybody knows about. The first Race for the Cure is in January and the last one is in November.

BGLU: How did you get involved?
Abbie: I got involved in 2009.  I went to a New Kids show in Houston. Danny was at the end of the show talking about his mom, Team Betty, and how grateful he was to fans for raising so much money.  He got very emotional onstage talking about it.  On the flight back to Nashville I knew I wanted to be a part of it. We didn't have a Nashville Team Betty so I went on the local affiliate site and signed up to start the team for Nashville and we did the 5k race that year.  In 2010 I wanted to do a little more so I signed up for the 3 day marathon in Boston.  The 3 day is a 60 mile walk over 3 days. Later I went on to do the 5k in Miami.

BGLU: How long do you train for the 3 Day?
Abbie: They have a 24 week schedule and a 16 week schedule. Most people do the 24 week schedule.  By the end of the training period you are doing a 17 mile walk 3 days in a row. So the first day of the 3 day you do about 20 miles, the second you do about 22 and the last day you do about 17 and 18. So you’re walking about 10 hours a day.

BGLU: And what are some of the things you have done to raise money for Team Betty?
Abbie: I've done eBay auctions of New Kids memorabilia: the lunch boxes, the plush dolls all of those things that we thought our moms threw away that I'm really luck that they didn’t.  We’ve done bake sales,and yard sales. One of the teams just auctioned off Danny's personalized Celtics jersey that he wore on the NKOTBSB tour and it auctioned for $6000.

BGLU: Whaaaat?
Abbie: Yeah.  We had a fan luncheon before the Fenway concert and we had about 130 people come to it. And we raised over $1600. And then the biggest one for this year, Danny raffled off his custom painted Harley Davidson and raised $99,000 for Komen.

BGLU: Danny must be really proud.
Abbie: He is so proud of all the fans and gets very emotional as does everyone. He's not the only one. Donnie speaks about Betty and gets emotional too.  They're all very much a family.  Danny is always in awe at the amount of money we raise.  Standing next to him and seeing everyone dressed in pink at the pink party on the cruise has been one of my favorite moments. We raised over $16,000.  This was in addition to the $11,000 fans raised outside of the cruise and presented that night. 

Abbie and Danny Wood at the Pink Party at this year's NKOTB Cruise
BGLU: All Blockheads. See what happens when we come together?
Abbie: We make a difference when we come together.

BGLU: How many Remember Betty teams are there?
Abbie: Right now there are 94 and they are worldwide: Besides the US and Canada, we had our first team in Chile this year and our first team in Germany this year.  There is a team running the marathon in South Korea, a team in Malaysia and there was a team in the UK as well.  It's very exciting and I think next year we're going to have teams in Australia soon. We're working on Mexico and France as well.  And so far to date we've raised over $220,000 this year and over $700,000 within the past 3 years.

BGLU: How have you been affected by breast cancer?  By the time you decided to be involved had you already been affected by breast cancer?
Abbie: I've been affected by breast cancer before getting involved with Team Betty and during. Before, my coworker Patty passed away from it. She had been told that she had been clear for 5 years and then she started having some health issues.  She went to the doctor &  turned out there was a spot that metastasized to her brain. She passed away at 47 and left behind 3 children and a husband. During my training this year for the 3 day my stepmother was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She had a lumpectomy, has gone through chemo and is currently going through radiation.  This year alone I’ve had two friends under 30 right now who have found lumps that have been benign. I have one friend in her mid 30’s who is going through procedures who has found a lump and is going through procedures to see what the lump is that she found.

BGLU: Tell us about the atmosphere at the races.
Abbie: The Race for the Cure 3 Day and the 5k are very different. It's very much an air of celebration. There’s a lot of pink, a lot of balloons. Everybody’s very happy and we enjoy getting together. We love seeing the survivors come down the survivor shoot and pass through the balloons in their pink shirts. It's an amazing thing to do. The 3 day is a much more intense experience emotionally. The opening ceremonies, you are five seconds in and you need a Kleenex. In Boston, at the opening ceremony the president of the Massachusetts affiliate is there to speak and she's a breast cancer survivor. She has gone through treatments multiple times. To hear her speak, she gets emotional because we walk for her. And because we walk she is a survivor. 

Nashville's Team Betty
BGLU: What's been one of your favorite moments of being a part of Remember Betty?
Abbie: When I finished the first day of the 3 day in 2010. I walked 20 miles in a day and I never ever thought I'dbe able to do that.  We walked into camp that day and there were a group of men who walked with us called The Men with Heart lined up singing “Pretty Woman” and handing out bracelets. That was a big personal moment. 

BGLU: How can people sponsor and/or donate ?
Abbie:  If they want to join they can go to the events link on You can also donate through that link.

BGLU: Thanks Abbie!
For more information on Remember Betty and Team Betty, check out these links:

Official Twitter: @RememberBetty
Official email:

Monday, October 24, 2011

Post-Vacation Ramblings - Tia

I realized a few weeks ago that even after taking about 2 weeks off since the first of the year, I still had 3+ weeks of vacation to take. So after a few conversations I decided to take a long weekend and go see Blaine. It goes without saying that I had a great time. But I also managed to learn a few things. So since I have been significantly neglecting my blogging duties I figured I'd throw a few things up here and let them fall where they may.

- I am a geek
Seriously, I am an epic geek. And I LOVE that about myself. I'm not sure when it happened but at some point along the way I stopped trying to be cool and decided to be me. And it's so much fun. While I would be remiss if I didn't mention that I still have my hang-ups and if I should ever manage to stumble into a relationship I will have to ease him into my nerdiness, overall I'm good with the hand I was dealt. Even if that hand means I find myself arguing the quadratic equation in a pool hall filled with men over 50 or buying an authentic replica of the Gryffindor robe, scarf and replica Professor Snape wand. *Yes, I'm aware Snape was a Slytherin. But his wand was the coolest so that's the one I bought.
(Someone was making snide comments while I was taking this picture...thus the face.)

- I like guns
So I FINALLY got to go shoot guns. It's something I've been wanting to do for some time now but could never really find anyone who was interested in going. Nor could I find a place that wasn't a death trap here in town. Blaine was nice enough to take me shooting and it turns out I was pretty good for a beginner.

(Why yes, that is one of my targets. Note the accuracy and grouping.)

And if you've been reading this blog for any amount of time you know how I feel about guys with guns. One word: HOT!!! So the plan is to get my own gun and learn to shoot and hopefully meet some really hot British guy whilst at the range. (hehehe....whilst) But while I'm waiting on my very on Jason Statham I figured I would work on my own bada$$ness so...

- I'm doing this in March.

I just registered tonight. I feel like I miss out a lot on life because I'm not willing to do things by myself. It's not that I'm afraid to do things alone, I just don't want to. But since that's just the way things shake out sometimes, I figured I'd better get moving. If my options are go it alone or don't go, I think I'd better start doing more of the former rather than the latter. That said, there aren't too many people I could talk into doing this with me. But my inner 10 year old would never forgive me if I didn't do this. So come March, I'll either be a zombie or an "alive" finisher. (Note to self: must work on upper body strength. Would be a pity to get eaten just because I couldn't get over a wall."

- I sometimes hate my gender
I almost exclusively kept male friends for a long time for one main reason: I couldn't stand girls. They were petty, catty, controlling, manipulative, deceitful and in general got on each and every last one of my nerves. Unfortunately during my vacation I was again reminded why I often prefer the company of men. And like Forrest Gump, that's all I have to say about that. However, I will expound further on the fact that...

- I need more men in my life
The weekend with Blaine made me take a good hard look at the male friends that I have. And sadly, I realized that they're ALL under 30 or gay. Or some combination there of. Okay to be accurate, I do have a couple of married, over 30 male friends but well...they're married...with children. I don't think their wives would appreciate us staying up until 4 am doing shots of Patron and playing Xbox. (Yes, I know that playing Xbox is not the most mature activity in the world.)

While I have NOTHING against my gay/musician/under 30 male friends, I need some grown a$$, single, straight men in my life. I need guys who drive muscle cars. I need men who know how to be men  and open doors and change oil and will kick some tail if need be. I need men who would not be caught DEAD in skinny jeans. I need guys who understand that even though I will watch (and understand) sports with them I'm still female. What the heck happened to the men??? Is it because I live in a music town? Musicians have an air about them that is artistic and THAT IS FINE. But it's not often that I find the manly artist. Maybe I'm just hanging out with the wrong people....*sigh* Whatever the case, I need some real men in my life ASAP. Virtual hi-five to Blaine for reminding me that real men still exist.

Since I'm the one who has kept up from posting Quitter posts, I'm going to go ahead and end this post so that I can work on that.

Later BGLUers

This is a Ministry: 25 Ways to Wear a Scarf in 4.5 Minutes!

This is genius! I absolutely love scarves and with the fall season among us, I plan on getting quite a few. They are such a convenient accessory and can dress up the plainest outfit. I can't even tell you the amount of time I have spent trying to get a scarf to look just right. Now that I have seen this video I think the problem was one of two things: I didn't have the right length scarf or I don't have the right length neck. Regardless, there's something for everyone here. My fave is the DIY Infinity. What's yours?

The Hangover- Toya

It has been a week since we posted anything and for that we apologize.  Tia's been out of town and in just one week I managed to experience the flu, "lady issues", an eye infection and my first ever mild hangover. 

I am embarrassed to say that in my entire 36+ years of living that I experienced my first (mild) hangover this past weekend.  Mind you I am not saying that I am embarrassed because I feel like this is something I should have done earlier in life.  I am saying that by this age you would think I'd be more careful.  This was purely by accident and due to carelessness. I was given some tickets to a wine festival and decided that while I didn't really care for wine,  I do indeed love free food. Since my very cultured and knowledgeable friend Tonya loves wine, I just knew that this would be a harmless win-win, outside of what it would do to my waistline. 

We journeyed together through the festival that night as she chose wines for me to sample that she figured would be appealing to someone like me who doesn't like wine.  Every sample was met with me giving her a blank stare and a shrug.  "They all taste like medicine" I replied.  They had buckets at each table where you could pour out your wine and rinse it out with water so you could experience more wine.  Some of the wine I poured out and some of it I just drank figuring that it wasn't much anyway (dumb idea).  Besides I was eating the entire time (dumber idea).  The food was delicious so all was not lost.  We made our way to some decadent chocolate, prime rib, shrimp and even blueberry cheese (chiiiiiiiile that thing was SO good!) And then...we got to the Moscato table. Now I've heard rappers and R&B singers brag about Moscato before so I was curious as to what the big deal was.   I was at a rap video shoot a few months back and it was the first thing they ran out of.  "Ooh I've never had Moscato before! Finally!"  At least four people stepped back in amazement when I said this. "You've never had Moscato before?" Tonya said. "I've been a bad friend." I let them pour a little in my glass and then I tasted it. "Are you serious? Are you for real right now? Is this what all these rappers brag about? This is the most punk frou frou wine I have ever tasted in my entire life! You should only drink this with cupcakes!" I couldn't believe it.  Every man who brags about drinking Moscato from here on out is getting a major Arnold Jackson side eye from me.  I mean, it's so...girly.  It's good, I guess. You know, like how Mountain Berry Kool Aid is good?

The Moscato evidently was in the section of dessert wines at the festival and it was there that I finally found my niche.  Tonya and I drank wines that were so sweet that they practically tasted like jam in a glass.  The combination of me drinking samples of wine that I didn't care for and then drinking about a half a glass each of the wine that I actually liked started to catch up to me.  I wasn't the only one apparently.  Tonya and I managed to make a friend named...let's call him Scott (his name may actually be Scott. I really don't remember his name at all) who we seemed to run into everywhere.  Scott was a flirt and evidently with a few glasses of wine so am I because both the eyelashes and the close talking went to bat.

Scott: "You know who you remind me of? Rashida Jones from 'The Office'. I like her."
(Translation:  You are a cute black girl that 'sounds white' making you totally desirable through my beer goggles right now.)
Me: After shooting a side eye to Tonya "I'm about twelve shades darker than her but...ok. I guess?"
Scott: "See?  You even say your S's cute like her.  You know how she has that lisp?"
Me: "I've been drinking!"

And that was when it got real.  Me who used to babysit everyone in college in my dorm room to make sure they didn't wake up with someone they'd regret being there, had too much to drink.  Me who has often sat on the other side of a "the day after" drunken confessional was giggling, dancing to a four piece cover band playing The Police's "Wrapped Around Your Finger" and drunk texting her best friend.

Me at the end of a highly philosophical text to Tia about what she needs to do with her life: "I hope that all made sense because I'm a little drunk right now."
Tia: " are YOU drunk right now?"
Me: "Just a little.  Also there is a guy here who thinks I look like Rashida Jones.  Apparently I'm not the only one who has had too much to drink."
Tia: "DEAD....Just...DEAD."

After freaking out over the fear that I had texted all of this to my father, I then proceeded to answer her in my mind.  Once I figured out how that in no way constitutes an actual conversation I picked up the phone and called.

Tonya: "Are you drunk dialing Tia?"
Me: "Listen...listen..."
Tia *Cracking up* "WHERE ARE YOU?!"

I managed to force the words out of my mind that I was trying to say to Tia as Tonya watched in tickled amazement.  For the first time ever I finally understand why and how people get drunk.  I never understood it before because I never had any alcohol that I liked that much before.  I get how people can get really caught up and just when I decided I wanted no parts of it one of the people who were amazed that I was a grown black woman who had never previously had Moscato found me. "Hey this is my friend who has chocolate wine at her table."

Yeah.  She said CHOCOLATE wine. It was a wrap.

Tonya drove me home.  Yes the wine drinker drove the non-wine drinker home. Luckily we carpooled.  Upon entering my house I saw my roommate who immediately could tell something was...awry.  I managed to recant this story to my roommate while leaning my head against the wall before making my way up the steps.  I soon fell asleep and about ten hours later, woke up and noticed that I still had on my "Please drink responsibly" wristband.  "Why in the world am I just noticing what this said?" I thought.  With a headache and nausea that I partially blame on the amount of food I ate, I went downstairs to find some breakfast.  It was then that I remembered this scripture:

29 Who has anguish? Who has sorrow?
      Who is always fighting? Who is always complaining?
      Who has unnecessary bruises? Who has bloodshot eyes?
 30 It is the one who spends long hours in the taverns,
      trying out new drinks.
 31 Don’t gaze at the wine, seeing how red it is,
      how it sparkles in the cup, how smoothly it goes down.
 32 For in the end it bites like a poisonous snake;
      it stings like a viper.
 33 You will see hallucinations,
      and you will say crazy things.
 34 You will stagger like a sailor tossed at sea,
      clinging to a swaying mast.
 35 And you will say, “They hit me, but I didn’t feel it.
      I didn’t even know it when they beat me up.
   When will I wake up
      so I can look for another drink?” - Proverbs 23: 29-35

Now all of those things are definitely true except I didn't wake up looking for another drink.  I woke up looking for cold pizza.  I got a slice and went back to bed. 

What I've learned: Apparently I am strictly a dessert wine drinker.  Chocolate wine is absolutely delicious and I am never to keep it in my house unless I desire an inevitable stint at Alcoholics Anonymous.  If I want it, it will have to stay at Tonya's house.  Also, I don't have expensive taste even when it comes to wine.  The $1000 wine they had on display smelled like butt cheeks and tasted like old feet.  Not to mention, the people that served it were rude.  I'd rather take it back to my college days and drink some Strawberry Boones Farm before I ever drink that again.  It was awful! Lastly, I'm a One Drink Wanda and I'm proud of it.   Just like talking around a lot of food without a pre-set limit often doesn't mix, access to all kinds of wine and talking without some sort of pre-set limit doesn't mix well for me either.  I can't hang. That's all there is to it.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Friday, October 14, 2011

Fun Music Fridays: MC Lyte ft. Missy Elliott "Cold Rock A Party" (Bad Boy Remix)

This week MC Lyte celebrated her 40th birthday. Have you seen her lately?  She's amazing!

MC Lyte with Kelly Rowland
I've been reading up on her lately.  It's great to see how she has branched out into various parts of the industry.  Not only is she the current president of the LA Grammy chapter, but she hosts a radio show, does voice overs and has a few companies including one  that oversees music supervision for a number of shows.  AND she still performs?  Yeah...she's inspiring me to get my time management skills in order.  Jesus be a Franklin Covey day planner.  For more on what's going on with her check out http://www.http//

I could be here all day writing about my favorite Lyte lyrics and songs

"Funky fresh dressed to impress ready to party, money in your pocket dyin' to move your body.  To get inside you paid the whole ten dollars, scotch tape with a razor blade taped to your collar....leave the guns and the crack and the knives alone, MC Lyte's on the microphone..."- Self Destruction

And don't get me started on "Cha Cha Cha".  In fact, I should probably stop reminiscing lest I bust out into "Ruffneck" and start scaring people.  What are your favorite MC Lyte songs?

Monday, October 10, 2011

Well If It Isn't "If It Isn't Love"!: Beyonce's Video Tease for "Love on Top"

For the first time in my entire life I am jealous of Beyonce'. You know how long I've been wanting to get the choreography for New Edition's "If It Isn't Love" down pat? I love me some R&B group choreography! I have to hand it to Beyonce'; she will do 200 times more pregnant than I am willing to do 2 hours after Thanksgiving dinner. She's a bad girl. Check out her tribute (and we are assuming that this is a tribute because the similarities are very obvious) to New Edition in this snippet of her new video for my new favorite Beyonce's song of all time "Love on Top".

And in case you need a reference...

Friday, October 7, 2011

Fun Music Friday: Robin S "Show Me Love"

Get out your glowsticks and get your vogue on! I am posting this as a fun song to groove to but in all seriousness we could all stand to soak in these lyrics. "Words are so easy to say. You've got to SHOW me love."

The other day I was talking with a friend of mine who said something that had I heard (and heeded) years ago could've saved me a lot of heartache. She said that sometimes people confuse love with need. Someone may need you but they may not love you. And the thing is they don't always know it. Because they confuse one with the other, they go through the motions as if it is actually love. Then when they stop needing you, they take that as they have stopped loving you. One of the worst feelings I have ever felt is having someone say that they loved me and then deny it once they stopped needing me. She said that the right relationship must have all of these three things: love, need and desire. Wait... I've heard that before!

And I begged her not to walk out the door
She packed her bags and turned right away
And she kept on telling me
She kept on telling me
I want you
I need you
but there aint no way I'm ever gonna love you
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three aint bad
- Meatloaf "Two Out of Three Aint Bad"

*Sound of record scratching in the middle of the song*

Two out of three aint bad? The hell it aint!

For years I did not understand how you could say you need a person and not love them. Thinking about it now, part of love is wanting what's best for the other person. It's not love if you only want to be with that person because you feel that you need them for what they do for you and how they make you feel, yet you have no regard for their well being. That's not love, that's leeching. Hindsight is so 20/20.

Let's all get free and make room for the right people in our lives so we can get to singing this...

Have a great weekend everyone!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

New Video Alert: Beyonce's Countdown - Tia

I'm no Beyonce Stan by any stretch. I think she's immensely talented. And there are times when she's ridiculously beautiful. But I don't think all that she does is the end all be all of pop/R&B. But I have to be honest, after watching this video I want to go watch every movie Audrey Hepburn ever did so that I can match the references in the videos to the films.

I really like this video. It's different. It's clear she had fun making it. And, of course, I love the song.


R.I.P. Steve Jobs - Tia

I have 3 iPods and just ordered a 4th. I have a MacBook Pro.  Even though I'm with T-mobile, I had an unlocked iPhone for a long time. And if the rumors are true, I'll probably be getting a iPad 3 some time later this year. I'm an Apple disciple and proud.

But whether you're pro-Apple or diametrically opposed to all things Apple you had to respect and admire Steve Jobs. Calling him innovative almost seems like a disservice. You can try to argue that if you want but if it weren't for him you probably wouldn't be reading this right now, regardless of whether you're reading it on a Mac or a PC.

He held 300+ patents at the time of his death. He was able to predict the needs and wants of consumers before we could. If you'd asked me 10 years ago if I needed to carry around 10,000 songs at one time I...well I probably would have said yes, but most people would have said no. But Steve thought differently. He brought us products that gave us a sense of wonder and filled us with awe.

I remember talking with some friends wondering where our hoverboards, flying cars and electric lace shoes were. (Yes, Back to the Future 2 shaped most of that conversation.) While we lamented the fact that we probably would never have any of those things in our lifetime, one friend held up his iPhone and dutifully noted, "We do have these though." It was at that point that I looked around the table and noticed that everyone there had an iPhone. Mr. Jobs' creativity brought us one step closer to the future we dreamed of as children.

I read that someone said that they felt like a personal friend died. I understand that. He was our generation's Edison. He was our homeboy who embodied the spirit of Einstein. You always looked forward to a message from Steve because you knew if was going to be good and you knew it was going to be life changing. With each new product, with every presentation the world got a little bit more exciting. Steve made it cool to be a geek. And coming from this nerdy girl, I will be forever grateful.

Thank you Steve. You will be missed.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Real Time Commentary of The Misadventures of AWKWARD Black Girl - Episode 9

If we could, we would put every awkward black girl in a room (and those that love, understand and identify with us) and watch this together. But since we can't (well maybe we can. I think that's what Google+ is for but nobody seems to understand that yet) I wanted to post my real time reactions much like we do during music awards. So if you are watching this episode, it's like I'm right there with you!

That's weird isn't it? That's why I so get this show.

Here are my real time reactions:

  1. Noooooo please tell me she didn't sleep with Fred. Ok, whew!

  2. CeCe. is. so. extra.

  3. I will never see seasonal lattes the same way again. From here on out I am referring to men whose names I will not reveal publicly as either Eggnog Latte or Caramel Mocha.

  4. *Falls out at 1:44* Her head hit the door and my head hit the table.

  5. Why do you have butterflies about seeing Fred? BECAUSE HE LOOKS LIKE THAT!!!! Good Lord!

  6. Her boss' hair is killing me softly yet again.

  7. Why are Fred and J matching?

  8. Can we please talk about how in real life A is actually fine? Like, really fine? Ok.

  9. "Not you. You're a temp." BAAAAAHAHAHAHA! I can't stand him!

  10. Why is Fred the only one that understands Darius? Wait, why do I understand Darius?

  11. "God likes napkins." I am working that quote into every single dinner conversation. Watch me. That is the best!

  12. Why is the PRAYER "cooning"? HA! Delores is ridiculous.

  13. I am so happy to see White Jay right now, I don't know what to do.

  14. This scene with Fred, J, and White Jay seems a little forced.

  15. Nothing says awkward like randomly dropping a feminine product in public.

  16. A Brandy and Monica reference? Is there going to be a sing off?!

  17. Wait... J really stepped up to Nina and that wasn't a dream sequence! Go J!

  18. "...and I want the rainbow to be enough." *Flatlines*

  19. Nina IS Suge Knight! LOL!!!!!

That episode was well worth the wait and guess what? There is also going to be a Halloween episode so there will be two new episodes this month! What did you all think of the new episode?

Where is your mama at?!?!?!....Oh, wait, she's the one filming you - Tia


There is so much wrong with this video. Where do I even begin...?

That child is MAYBE 5 years old. Why does she know all of the words to "SuperBass"? Who lets their child listen to Nicki Minaj? Who films their child singing about the "panties coming off," thinks it's cute and then PUTS IT ON THE INTERNET?!?!?!? And who thought it would be okay for this little girl to drop an N-bomb? Did they think no one would notice because she's British and small? And finally, they didn't have to do that little blond girl like that. Who told her she could be in the video? She could have sat this one out?

Oh and A+ on the parenting by putting your child on the internet telling the world her full name and location. That should make it a little easier for ANYONE to find you.

New Music: Common "Blue Sky"

Can we just give the Lord a hand praise that somebody made a song that you can play around your kids, parents, grandmom, deacon board, etc? The fact that I could pump this at my desk and not feel audibly violated is cause for a hallelujah in itself. I can't say that about most songs on the radio right now. But then again, it's Common. He always seems to rise above the rest. Check out his new song "Blue Sky" off of his upcoming album The Dreamer/The Believer.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

New Music: Justin Timberlake - Words I Say

I'm one of three people in the world who is still bitter with Justin Timberlake over that whole Super Bowl "wardrobe malfunction" debacle (pray for me). That is why I stay salty on the regular because he never ceases to make music I can't help but like.

Wait, is that a KEYTAR SOLO at the end? I CANNOT BE BOUGHT, JUSTIN! *Sigh* I mean, that's cool. I guess...

For those that care and for those that can't admit that they do (that should cover most of us), here's some new JT. *Crosses arms, pouts, and presses play for the third time*

Sometimes I get stuff right - Tia

Remember when I said that Beyonce might show up pregnant in the video for "Countdown"? Yeah, sometimes I get stuff right.

I can't wait for this video. This is hands down my favorite song on the album. I know everyone loves "Love on Top" because of the modulations at the end and that's fair. But while I think "Love" is cute and nice enough, "Countdown" is the song that I RUN!

That is all.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Monday Motivation - Tia

I had to get up at 4:45 this morning. A visit that I had last week wasn't completed because the nursing staff didn't even start the list of things that I sent them to complete until the day I got there. Good thing I sent it to them 2 weeks ahead of my arrival so they could get everything done.*sarcasm* So for the second time in 5 days I've had to rise well before the sun and drive 3 hours.

I am particularly tired this morning because I drove back from Atlanta last night. (More on that trip in later post.) So needless to say I needed a little pick me up this AM. And since I'm sure I'm not alone, I figured I'd share a couple of things that are getting me beyond my case of the "Mondays."

Idris Elba
My LAWD. God is SO ABLE! That's really all I have to say about that. 

McSteamy holding McBaby

A friend of mine sent this to me and wrote the following. "McSteamy holding McBaby daughter could be considered playing dirty, Shonda." I completely agree. But when was the last time Shonda Rhimes played fair on Grey's?

Let the haters hate...because you know they're going to

And finally...Adam
I listened to Songs About Jane and It Won't Be Soon Before Long a couple of times on my drive here. The car karaoke was so serious. Adam is always the way.

(I didn't love this video but I do love how angry Adam is in this one. And I love him smashing that mirror with a bat. I find it sexy. And, yes, I know that it's a little troubling that I find it sexy.)

Happy Monday BGLU!