I love a revelation. You know how you have that "Ooooooh" moment? You kind of have to laugh to yourself because you suddenly realize that you've been going about things the wrong way. I had such a moment when I saw this yesterday.
(Update: A friend of mine just sent this to me. 1. Gerard is a clown and I love it. 2. I just don't think they make what I need in this country. 3. Does anyone have a lead on jobs/flats in the UK?)
Quite a while back Toya and I were watching youtube clips of "The Real World." We may or may not have been looking for clips of Stephen slapping Irene. Anyway, David, CT, and Nathan were at the reunion show and Nathan, who I NEVER had ANY SHINE for back in the day, was there in a suit and his hair had gone significantly gray since the last time I saw him. In other words, Nathan had grown up and turned into a man. Suddenly I COULD SEE Nathan. I won't repeat what I said suffice it to say Toya screamed with laughter and we giggled about it for many days afterward.
(There's teeny bit of language in this. FYI)
(I refuse to comment on Stephen.)
But even after that moment, it still took me until YESTERDAY to realize that older is GOOD. I've been spending far too much time pining over these little boys. (I blame Robert Pattinson.) Most of my guy friends are under 30. So I've become accustomed to being around the children. But while the children are fun, I'm FAR TOO GROWN to even pretend to have a crush on any of them. Let alone think that I may find a suitable partner amongst them.
I had a baby crush on one of my friends not too long ago. While he is a great guy, he's still "finding" himself, his voice, a job. Yeah, I did that...in my 20s. And although there are days when I still am discovering Tia, I've long since left that "journey to me" stage that we go through in our 20s. Like Jay-Z said, I'm onto the next one.
Something about seeing Mr. Butler having fun but being a grown man caused something in my brain to click. I realized that I need to a.) Stop checking for these little boys and b.) accept that my age is what it is and embrace/celebrate/savor it. I'm fortunate enough to have a better understanding of who I am than I did 5 or 10 years ago. That's something that can only come with time. I refuse to be one of those women out there who is desperately clinging to bygone youth. (I'm looking at every "reality" tv "star" out there right now.) I will love and appreciate my face, my body, my mind. I will upgrade my wardrobe to reflect who I truly am. (Don't worry, I'm not going to start shopping at Ann Taylor Loft or anything. ) And I will hence forth be looking for MEN (not guys, not boys) like this:
Hill Harper - 45
Okay, black does not crack or even crinkle....HOW is he 45???
George Clooney - 50
All day, tomorrow and twice on Saturday
Benjamin Bratt - 47
¡Ay Dios Mio!
¡Ay Dios Mio!
Daniel Dae Kim - 43
Oh, now I remember why I watch Hawaii 5-0.