Thursday, March 31, 2011

Save the music - Tia

I find myself almost perpetually bummed out by music these days. Even the artists who are supposed to be uplifting are calling us out of our names or talking about the kind of sex that would make Hef uncomfortable. While I am still finding some music that doesn't offend me, there are some days when I listen to the radio and want to weep for my generations and the ones that come after me. Right now the new Mary Mary album "Something Big" is hitting me where I live. But more on that in another post. 

I wanted to take a minute to introduce you to Elle. If fact, I'll let her introduce herself. 

As someone who is standing in the middle of a seemingly barren crossroads with no sense of direction, I find Elle more than refreshing. Not only has she always known what she wants to do...she's doing it. Say what you will, but in this day and age there seems to be a lot of talking but a lot less doing. She writes songs from the heart and you can't help but want to get to know her. Elle is the type of artist that the world needs to know about. But she can't do it alone. So I'm challenging you to help a sistah out. For the price of a latte you can help fund Elle's debut cd. You can personally have a hand in getting quality music to the people. And that is a good look. 

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

What About Your Friends?- Toya


That's all Melanie the Wise Pixie's email said after how I just happened to mention that perhaps I was going to consider stepping out and doing something risky. Cause when do I ever do anything risky? Seriously? And let's not even talk about Tia's response. You know how you can read someone's text and you hear their voice and inflection as you are reading it?


Bad idea jeans, Toya. Bad idea.

My dad has a saying that I've always hated and that is "Some people don't believe boo boo stinks".  I HATE when he says that. But how many of yall know that as you grow up you say the same stuff your parents did? Well, when it comes to everyone else's mess and not your own.

The last time I complained about not getting to have any fun, it cost me a good number of years to get over a mistake that EVERYONE warned me about. I need to remember that which is why this song is currently on repeat now:

And this is why I don't understand shows like Real Housewives But Nobody's A Housewife of  (insert city here). Everyone needs good friends. I have the kind of friends where there is no such thing as "it aint none of your business". We are not playin' with ratchetness. Tia already told me that as soon as we find it both of us are getting the Lowjack app on our phones.

If you have the kind of friends that always let you get away with your weaknesses, you need new friends. Real friends want you to rise and not fall. Real friends are real with you about your shortcomings. I have friends that are dealing with some serious issues and the friends they have only encourage them to do the very things they are trying to get over. That's not friendship. It's like that verse in the bible that says if your brother can't eat meat but you can, don't be selfish. Don't cause him to stumble. What might be right for you may not be right for some (shout out to Diffrent Strokes). We all have our weaknesses and real friends help you up.

I'm grateful for my friends that help me up. I'm kicking and screaming about it but I am grateful nonetheless.  Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go pout some more about why I never get to have any fun.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Toya's Random Musings
1. Happy St. Patrick's Day, Top o' the Mornin' to Ya and God Save the Queen! It's the Good Googa Mooga!

This is and Wedding Planner Matthew "Good Googa Mooga" McConaughey are the only ones that I will receive. Oh the luck of the Irish! Part of me wishes that Tia and I were celebrating St. Patty's Day in Boston right now and another part of me (the part that's trying to live holy) will accept what God allows and that is for both of us to be far, far away from Boston today.

2. Speaking of trying to live holy...

Bahahaha!!!! This is HA-LARIOUS to me! However, I want to make a card that would more reflect my sentiments: 2 just married people standing at the door of the church handing out individually wrapped slices of cake and Capri Suns to their guests. "No man knows the day or the hour of the Lord's return. Yall take care!"
3. Tia and I were recently talking about the burden of worrying about loved ones that are making poor life choices. It's hard to see the ones you care about lower their standards in various areas and deceive themselves into thinking that they are doing what's right. I had a period of suffering from a lack of sleep, lack of appetite (that's how I knew something was wrong) and constant worrying about people that I care about that were making some really terrible decisions. Then things started getting a little rough for me personally and I had to make a decision: either deal with my issues or worry about their AND my issues. The point I am getting to is that it would do me well to eliminate worrying from my life PERIOD whether it be about me or anyone else. Eventually, it will wear you all the way out. Think about it: on a plane they tell you that in the event that the cabin loses pressure, you are to get a mask and put it on yourself FIRST. That's what I am working on. It's not selfishness, it's self-maintenance. Without it, I don't think I'd be too much help to anyone in the long run and definitely not much help to myself.
4. I'm pretty sure I listen to that Rigael Damar song "Hero" about five times first thing every morning at work. It needs to get on iTunes so I can sow a seed into his Songs That Don't Contain the Word "Shawty" ministry.
5. Kirk Franklin's new album "Hello Fear" can be previewed here before its release next Tuesday. The only reason I won't listen to it before I buy it is because I tried that one time and was jacked ALL the way up at my desk. Much like John Mayer's and Switchfoot's music, the themes of Kirk's releases always lineup with exactly what's happening in my life at that moment. Ever since Hero, his songs have been the soundtrack of my life. I can't wait to really sit with this record.
6. I'm back on track at Weight Watchers and lost 3.4 pounds last week. Winning!
7. Steve Carell is leaving The Office soon and I have to be honest: if they wrapped the whole show up at this point, I wouldn't be mad. This season was almost a complete fail until the past three episodes.
8. It's only March and so far three of my friends have moved to the West Coast with another one leaving in April. I cannot handle this! That will be a total of five people (one of my friends moved East) that will have left me this year. I am sick about it. My friend Ben is leaving in April for Canada and *shakes head*.... I am not ok. My stomach hurts just thinking about. Moving on...
9. Facebook truly is a single woman's best friend. What you may call cyber stalking, I call taking preventive measures.
10. In my post "Fearless" I talked about making a career change and so far it's really been working out for me! Sometimes all you need to do is make a decision. So far I've worked on a TV pilot and am now working on an event for another network. I'm excited about what's ahead and glad that I decided to venture out. It's definitely been worth the risk.
In the Meantime, In Between Time:
Toya's Natural Hair Journey Continues

Has anyone else gotten bored with trying to grow their hair out? Good grief! I will say, however, that there are lots of perks to having natural hair now. For one, it doesn't move so I don't have to worry about it being out of place, one side being straighter than the other, etc. Secondly, rainy weather is no longer my kryptonite or a guarantee for a bad day. Thirdly, I have more time in the morning to get ready! That's always a plus.

I am happy to say that I am not struggling with shrinkage as much anymore as I have learned that I was using too much of my products. This was wearing my hair down and causing it to not be as springy as I'd like for it to be. I started off just using black bands to hold my not so TW anymore A (teeny weeny afro) back but that was boring me to tears. So I went to Target and bought this cutie of a headband right here:

Love it! But I can only do so many flowers before I am bored again. I do have a cute feather barette that a friend made me as well. So for the meantime in between time of waiting for big luxurious hair, I will be on a mission for the flyest hair accesories. Anyone have any suggestions on where to find some?

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

R.I.P. Nate Dogg :(

Tia is out in LA right now and OH how I wish I was out there with her with the windows down listening to some West Coast jams in honor of the late Nate Dogg. Nate Dogg passed away today at the age of 41. It's a sad day for hip hop. Even me, one of the biggest East Coast snobs to ever walk the planet can admit that. So in honor of Nate Dogg today, please say some prayers for his loved ones, pull out your checkered flannel and Raiders caps, and throw shade on all marks, busters, and mark busters for the homie who was cold with them hooks.

What's your favorite Nate Dogg joint?

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Cause Your Heart Needs a Hero: You Should Know...Mr. Rigael Damar

Cause Your Heart Needs a Hero:
You Should Know...Mr. Rigael Damar

If you've been reading this blog long enough, you know we at BGLU try to hip yall to stuff way before everyone else is on it: Mat Kearney, Thicke (not Robin Thicke-THICKE, Thicke), Jessie J, etc. Well the other day a friend of mine sent me (Toya)  an email with some info about an artist named Mr. Rigael Damar he was working with. Now I must admit that almost everyone I know is working on "something". However, this person knows my taste pretty well and knows that I have a foolishness tolerance of about .0009 seconds. That considered, I decided to give it a listen.

I haven't been that gung ho about the resurgence of  Euro Pop lately. In my mind all of that went out with La Bouche. However, I found this song to be so sweet and when he got to "Cause her heart needs a hero" of course my mind went directly to this...

and from there it was hook, line and sinker. I looked at the video, read the rest of the lyrics, and concluded that I would have posted this song even if it was polka.

I wonder a lot about kids these days and how they feel about the music they are growing up on. Even if you didn't live in a house with two parents that really loved each other, it used to be that you could listen to the radio and hear how a man should talk to and about a woman. At least back then a teenage girl could listen to New Edition, Shai, or the like and dream about the day that her Mr. Right would talk that sweetly to her . What do we have now? "Let me beat it like a cop".  Don't get me started.

Anyway "Hero" grew on me in no time and overall I am really enjoying everything I have heard so far from Sweden's Mr. Rigael Damar. Check out his website at and for more videos check out his Youtube Channel. If you don't swoon over the acapella version of "Hero" I promise to give you every penny I am going to win in my office's March Madness bracket.

Monday, March 7, 2011

So Whatcha Whatcha Whatcha Want?- Toya
 Ok I posted this only to see that Tia posted the same video earlier this morning. It's so good though that I think it bears posting twice.

"I know why I've gained four pounds back" I told Tia during our BFF mani/pedi time this past weekend. "I'm spinning plates." You know how in the circus they have that guy that is spinning numerous plates at one time on different sticks?

I'm trying to lose weight, be positive, love annoying people, not randomly make out with boys, keep my finances straight, get to work on time and not let people drive me crazy. I'm trying to protect my peace of mind like a newborn baby, get off of Diet Coke, and keep my room clean. Something had to give. It just had to. Ok I am making excuses. Life is hard and all you can do is your best. Forget about "bi-winning" can I just win in one place at a time? I missed two Weight Watchers meetings because my schedule wouldn't allow me to go and when I got back I found out that I gained four pounds. The lady behind the counter who weighed me in was NOT happy. Not because I gained the weight, but because I was being really nonchalant about staying on the program. You can't have a goal and not take the necessary steps it takes to get there. You can't cut corners in your life and expect the same results. Which leads me to this video right here:

When it comes to relationships, not everyone wants the same thing so this video may not mean squat to you and that's more than cool. But for those that are saying that they want a certain type of guy but lend themselves to the wrong guys and the wrong kind of behavior, I hope this is of some encouragement. Because at some point you have to decide if being single is worse than the consequences of settling.  For some people it is and they compromise. No judgment here. It's all about what you want.  I got this video in my inbox and on my Facebook wall within 12 hours of contemplating bending my own rules all the while thinking that I could do so and still get what I want and be who I want to be. Just call me Miss Celie because I do believe that God was indeed trying to tell me something.
All you gotta do is say....NO!  - Tia

A friend of mine sent this to me and it has blessed my entire morning. I don't have nearly enough words to articulate how amazing this girl is. She managed to sum up my last post in a far more poetic manner than I could ever hope to. From here on out, if anyone asks me why I'm single, I'm going to politely point them to this link and bid them a good day. I SAID GOOD DAY!!