"Free" is a song by Deniece Williams that sounds just as gorgeous today as when it came out. They don't make them like that anymore.
I did it!!! I went back curly! I got in the shower last night and said “Suck it, fear!” and let the water run through my hair unabashedly. Knowing that I wouldn’t have to face the dreaded two hours it would take to blow dry and flat iron my hair, I could not have been happier. I decided to go ahead and take the leap after I told my dad about the Effie comment my co-worker made yesterday. “What did I tell you about caring what other people think about you?” he reminded me. “They don’t sign your check or pay your rent. Let…it…go.” And that was that. As soon as we got off the phone I hopped up out the bed…OMG I almost said “and put my swag on.” Pray for me.
While in the shower, I remembered the first time I cut my hair was when I was 18. Interestingly enough, I just turned 36 and celebrated my birthday by having a "Toya Turns 18...Again" old school skating party not too long ago. I remember being tired of trying to keep up with all of the latest hair styles and trying to be like everyone else. I was working at Contempo Casuals and “Natural” by Arrested Development was on in-store rotation. Every day I thought about cutting my hair off and one night in big frustration, I made "The Big Chop". I took some rusty shears and started cutting deliriously. When I came to, I had cut off the entire left side of my hair. “Well, might as well finish what I started.” I cut off the rest and never felt so free in my life.
I went downstairs the next morning and my mom said “That better be curled tight.” “Nope!” I said and skipped along. No one said a word for weeks. I mean, it looked a mess until I got someone to shape it up but I didn’t care one bit.
Going back to curly last night wasn’t nearly as dramatic though. The right side of my hair has more straight pieces than the left so I was really scared about cutting it grossly uneven. I’ve been threatening to shave my head and leave the country for almost a year now partly because I didn’t want to have to answer any questions about starting all over with natural hair. All the fears I had about my face not being thin enough to carry this off are gone. I really am happy.
Here’s a pic of me on my way to work. It’s already shrinking! I look forward to the journey of finding the right things to put in my hair. I’ve been here before.
So far the comments from my co-workers have been great; not that it matters though but it’s nice. My favorite so far has been “Daaaaaaang Toya got her Lauryn Hill on today!” LOL! Not gonna lie, that’s a little better than being called Effie yesterday. Effie had some fly clothes though now that I think about it. Hmmm….
So here’s to head to toe showers, not ducking the rain like it’s kryptonite, and dancing as hard as I can and not caring about what it’s going to do to my hair. It’s good to finally have ME back again.