Sunday, February 20, 2011

FINALLY! My Grammy Awards 2011 Recap- Toya

I know, I know. It's a week after the fact. I've just been too busy to get this up. I know I am prone to call award  shows "Hot Mess Championships" but since I had two friends that were nominated (Congrats again Brandi and Jon on your nomination. Yall looked FABULOUS!), I can't bring myself to call it that. Also I found this year's award show to be the best in years!!! It truly made going to the Grammys one of the things I'd love to do someday. And as entertaining as the show was of course there were some moments well deserving of a side eye that must be discussed. Here are my real time reactions to the 2011 Grammy Awards:

  1. It makes my heart glad that they are paying tribute to Aretha Franklin while she is still alive. A little guilt about not giving MJ his due before his untimely death? Maybe, maybe not. But it was nice to see.
  2. Ok this is interesting: the Aretha Franklin tribute with Yolanda Adams, Martina McBride, Jennifer Hudson, Florence (of Florence and the Machine) and Christina Aguileira smack in the middle in the Mercy Seat of the Grammys. I call it the Mercy Seat because of all the flack she has gotten about flubbing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl just a week ago. Who knew the Academy was this merciful? Here she is in the middle with Steven Tylers microphone stand (I mean, whose was that? Did she bring her own) reminding yall to not get it twisted: the child can sang. 
  3. Jennifer Hudson just destroyed all notions I had of going HAM on this Grammy food spread. She looks amazing! And remember when Luther Vandross got skinny and we were afraid he wouldn’t be able to sing anymore? Yeah, she’s still got it.
  4. I promise every time Church Mother Florence opens her mouth I swear she has a mighty word for the congregation. “You BETTER think!” I love her!
  5. Yolanda Adams is about to make me send my tithes to her fan club this week. I KNOW we are watching her performance again at the end of the night. Saaaaaaaaaaang! This may get gospel a spot on air next year.
  6. When Christina took that breath to belt out the last note of the tribute and Yolanda Adams slipped in, reared her head back and blew that last note out the water, I swear it was the equivalent of Kobe Bryant stealing the ball from Lebron James and hitting a 3 pointer with :03 seconds left on the clock to win the NBA Finals. OOOOOOOOOH that made me sooooo happy!!!!!
  7. Is Rihanna's outfit made of garland? "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas..."
  8. I am so happy Train won a Grammy! They actually were told in the beginning that they weren’t even nominated. Good for them!
  9. Dear Ricky Martin, Buck Rogers called. He wants his jeggings back.
  10. If Lady Gaga doesn't say that “Born This Way” is a tribute to Madonna’s “Express Yourself”, I'm making a citizen's arrest if I ever see her in the street. Umm and anyone else notice that all of those "flesh colored" outfits weren't exactly flesh colored for EVERYONE on stage? Just sayin'.
  11. It’s the end of Lady Gaga’s performance and I suddenly find myself fighting the urge to yell "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!"
  12. Ok this tribute to living legend artists this year is troubling me because if any of them come up…”missing”…this year, I’m blaming the Grammys.
  13. Muse is doing the absolute most right now with these screens and people rushing the stage. Not gonna lie, I thought the melee was real and security was coming to get them. I could do another Soy Bomb moment tonight. I really could.
  14. This Bruno Mars/Janelle Monae/B.O.B. performance is giving me LIFE tonight!!! OMG!!! Who knew? This has got to go on tour (found out later that Monae and Mars are indeed going on tour this year). And God bless B.O.B. for wearing a monocle. I need that to catch on instead of  these nerd glasses that everyone seems to still be wearing now. Enough already. Anyway that performance was brilliant. Yes I heard Bruno Mars last note but I’m going to pretend that didn’t happened.
  15. Christina just asked if Bruno Mars was Johnny Mathis. I want her to sit next to me but I fear I may shove her off the couch.
  16. With the performances being off the chain like this and them paying tribute to people still living, is this the last Grammy award show EVER? They’re doing a lot tonight. And come to think of it, when’s the last time they gave out an award? What’s going on?
  17. I was wondering earlier if New Kids on the Block were going to present a Grammy tonight. I remember when they presented (don’t quote me) the first Rap Grammy. I also thought they would at least let Donnie Wahlberg present since he seems to be the most relevant one in the public right now and here he is…wearing Blue Blockers. Did he just have laser eye surgery? Are they about to do another 3-D performance this year this time featuring Rihanna? I’m confused.
  18. This Mumford Sons/Avett Brothers/Bob Dylan// Brother Where Art Thou situation is blessing me tonight. Little known fact: The name of my company, Kid Electric Concerts, was influenced by Bob Dylan.
*Note: My Twitter was acting bonkers so I missed commenting on parts of the show. Being as though it is now a week later, I don’t remember a lot of it. Sorry yall.

20. Cee-Lo, Gwyneth Paltrow and The Muppets: I’m becoming pretty conservative in my old age so I am not sure how a feel about "The Song Otherwise Known as Forget You" having this kid friendly element to it because we all know that the original title is “F*** You”.  I don’t hate it but…meh. Wait is that one Muppet flipping off the camera?! I know they only have 3 fingers. See…
21.  Cee-Lo looks like every villain in The Wiz wrapped up in one and I really don’t know how I am supposed to handle that right now. I just…I don’t know. What I do know is that I'd like to nominate Gwyneth Paltrow's shoes as third favorite performer of the night. Those things are FIYAH!
22. I LOVE Katy Perry’s outfit! Pink with rhinestone hearts? That’s MY teenage dream. $20 says that skirt is coming off though (It didn’t so I’m glad I didn’t actually bet any money).
23. That Miley Cyrus jab by Seth what’s his face was entirely unnecessary.
24. My soul says yes to this John Mayer/Nora Jones/Keith Urban tribute to Dolly Parton. And by the way John Mayer looks tonight, I need to know that the reason I don’t have a new album from him yet is because he is preparing for his first movie role as Zorro. What exactly is happening with his hair right now?

25.  Rihanna is singing “I Love the Way You Lie” with Eminem and I need them to recognize Adam Levine is on keys! Yes!

26. This whole Dr. Dre coming out during Eminem’s performance just seems much ado about nothing. Dre hasn’t spit a verse I’ve been interested in since “Before You Turn Off the Lights” when he was in World Class Wrecking Crew. I’m just sayin’.

27. Esperanza freaking Spalding just won Best New Artist. Wow wow and wow!!!! I know Drake is thinking “Well at least I didn’t lose to Bieber”. I’m not going to lie. I’d like to see Drake win an award. I feel he deserves one. I don’t know which one but I think he deserves at least one.

28. Solomon Burke tribute: Mick Jagger just gave a clinic on How to Be a Front Man 101 with Raphael Saadiq and our boy Calvin Turner (Lucky duck. Why did I never learn to play bass?). This may have been my favorite performance of the night because it was so unexpected and so dope!!! No pyro, no auto tune, no flying ninjas. Just Mick lettin’ us have it talking about “I need you, you, you.” That’s it. Game over. Mick Jagger who is 1000 years old just murdered everybody on stage tonight.

29.  Ok this is completely out of chronological order but I just remembered two things that happened: First, the Usher/Justin Bieber performance was too precious. Loved watching proud parents Will and Jada watch their little boy perform. Yall can keep Young Money. I’ll take Young Wealth (Jaden Smith, Willow Smith, Justin Beiber and Diggy Simmons) any day of the week.

Secondly, I’m not saying that Lady Antebellum shouldn’t have been the ones to do a tribute to Teddy Pendergrass but…umm…ok well maybe I am saying that, so there.

30. Is it possible for Eminem to be sober and smile at the same time?  I wonder.

31. I see Barbara Streisand has decided to grace us with her presence this evening. "Someone in the audience is wondering why the mom from Meet the Fockers is singing." Tia

32. Nicki Minaj noooooooooooooo!!!!!!! That outfit? WHY?! And DON’T give me the “Lady Gaga can do it and so can I” excuse. No ma’am! I just straight had a Florida Evans moment in this living room.

And then…

33. For some reason I suddenly feel like the Grammys just turned into the MTV Awards with Rihanna and Drake on the stage. This is just not classy. Ok I did like the choreography at the end but I just wasn’t really feeling most of it and I do like this song. It was brought to my attention that night that she was suffering bronchitis and for that she is a champ. I’ll give her that.

34. I’m not surprised by Arcade Fire’s win because I have seen this happen before. A critic favorite gets Album of the Year and a good portion of the general public is confused. It’s cool. I don’t get why they thought that they could just get back up there and perform one mo’ gin but hey no one stopped them so it’s cool. I personally would’ve liked for Mick Jagger to make an encore appearance.

Well that’s my take on the 2011 Grammy Awards. If you can remember anything from last week , the floor is now open for comments.

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