My soul says yes. Completely yes. ESPECIALLY after watching the My Mic Sounds Nice documentary on BET that debuted last night about female emcees. It was so hard to watch for me. It felt like I was watching old footage of a friend that passed away. I still love H.E.R.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Donald Miller's post , What Men Really Need from Women, brings a conclusion to my ongoing rant about guys who say that they find Tia and I (and probably some of you) intimidating. To hear this from a man is so refreshing and pretty much proves my point in a nutshell. The following quote alone makes me want to send him my tithes this weekend:
It’s important to note that a strong, confident woman is what a guy needs, but it’s not always what a guy wants. Guys who are weak themselves may feel secure with a weak woman, but girls, this is not the guy for you. Strength attracts strength. Feminine strength is incredibly attractive.
I shouted like Shirley Caesar when I read that.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
I stumbled onto Colin Munroe completely by accident. I was actually looking for a song called Cold Pillow that I'd heard on Sirius while driving around the A in my rental car. (Random Aside: 1. I'm probably going to have get Sirius. 2. I L-O-V-E the ATL. And I miss it. 3. I discovered that Cold Pillow is by Theophilus London and I can't decide if I like the song completely because at the end of it I feel like he may be calling some girl a b*tch and that is not the business.)
I am forever looking for music that moves me. A lot of what I've heard lately not only keeps me sedentary emotionally and physically but it also depresses me. It's almost as if the music industry as a collective got together and decided to impose a moratorium on creativity. Thus, far the injunction seems indefinite save for a few rebels who seem to give the finger to the industry by releasing music that makes you think and makes you feel good. Fight on, brothers and sisters...fight on.
You have to be something exceptional to draw me in with only the first few seconds of a song.
I find you to be exceptional.
99% of the time I have to warm up to an artist. I'm not easy. So I when I found myself with my hands raised 20 seconds into Colin's song Cannonball even I was surprised.
After 3 listens of the song it became a mad dash to find all things Colin. But I pulled up quick and let out a Scooby Doo "Huh??" when I found his cover of Prince's I Would Die 4 U. You don't mess with Prince. (I'm looking at you Trey Songz.) I was all prepared to write him a scathing email for ruining one of my favorite songs of all time. This was, of course prior to me actually listening to the song. However, after listening to it, I decided that not only is Colin Munroe some sort of musical genius, but also that he is my new musical boyfriend until further notice.
He has a cd out called Colin Munroe Is The Unsung Hero that dropped sometime in December 2008. Thus far, I've been unable to suppress my anger about JUST finding out about this. How did this slip through the cracks? Solider Boy (I refuse to spell it like he does. His ignorance is why we can't rise.) is allowed to make record after craptacular record yet artists with real talent, I mean GENUINE talent are relegated to obscure sites and their cds listed on eBay for $6. Is there no justice left in the music world?
I will be ordering 2 copies of the cd, one for me and one for mi padre. (He walked in whilst I was listening and said that he had to have the cd. Yes...Colin Munroe is THAT good.) And I will also be downloading. While it may be somewhat archaic in this day and age to prefer cds over digital downloads, I will gladly accept the moniker of "old school" in order to obtain what I'm convinced is better sound quality from a cd. However, I'm not oblivious to reality of mp3s and the fact that the more an artist is downloaded the more likely said artist's label is to support and push that artist. So I will contribute to Colin Munroe's cause all day, every day if it means that one fine day from now I will never have to hear about someone's "Pretty Boy" swag.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
El Debarge is back, thank God, with his first video in over a decade with "Second Chance". He says that this won't be the single. It's just simply a testimony to his fans. I (Toya) have a couple things I would like to mention:
1) I will marry El Debarge where he stands no questions asked. MY LORD he is beautiful!
2) Steve Harvey almost took me out on the way to work yesterday when he had El Debarge in the studio and said "His black a** can sang!". I was DONE. I love Steve Harvey.
3) Don't tell me you are happy to see El Debarge back and you can't forgive Chris Brown. El went to jail on domestic abuse charges in 2007. Yeah he was on that stuff and no we don't have pictures but if you are willing to give him a second chance then you need to give Chris Brown one as well. I don't want to hear you singin' "Rhythm of the Night", "Who's Johnny", nothin' if you can't let it go (see also James Brown, Charlie Sheen, and that drummer from Def Leppard).
4) If I could get away with it I would put El Debarge, Jordan Knight and his mama on Maury Povich for one of those "Are You the Father?" episodes. I just... I have a feeling about this. No disrespect. I'm just sayin'.
5) No really. I'd marry El Debarge. TODAY.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
Now this is interesting in light of the recent conversations we have had about certain guys accusing Tia and I of being intimidating. By definition,to feel intimidated is to feel
Sounds to me like it is pretty impossible to be an intimidated champion, doesn't it? So I would like to take this time out to thank every single guy that has told me that I was single because I was intimidating. Because really, they weren't telling me who I am. They were telling me who they aren't: champions. No really, thanks. I'd also like to apologize to myself for letting these same "unchampions" dictate to me as to why I should settle. Anyone can have a man. I'll hold out for my champion, thanks. And last but certainly not least, I'd like to thank Jesus; for teaching me how to chill this summer, how to have patience and for being a true champion of the cross..and whose love, as I mentioned before, I have really, really taken for granted.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
This mess right here? HA-LARIOUS!
With Tia and I talking about going on the NKOTB cruise next year (I still can't believe we are doing this. Believe there will be footage) I have been taking a walk down memory lane within these past few days. I am SO glad someone posted this clip of them on "Don't Just Sit There" probably around 1986 or so. Please pay attention to 3:08 when Joey instructs the audience to clap their hands. As the rhythmless audience of pre-pubescents struggles to find the beat, Jordan breaks out into laughter and then instructs them in a "For the love of God" plea to simply wave their hands in the air. They all start crackin' up and it is classic.
*Sigh* Those were the days...
After a Facebook convo I had with Tia this morning about something someone said about her being intimidating, I was pissed off to the highest point of pisstivity. So much so that I had to pull this post back up. If a guy says that you are intimidating and you are just doing you, PRAISE GOD. It's just another way to weed out the herd of timewasters.
An excerpt from "Wifey"
As women, we have got to stop picking ourselves a part because we are told we are intimidating. I mean, enough already. Why would you feel guilty about being a wonderful and worthy woman? That’s so twisted. Look at it this way: when someone finds rare diamonds, the owner doesn’t cheapen them to make them more accessible and affordable to people that can’t afford them, do they? No one’s going to break down a diamond for you because you can’t afford one. You want a diamond, you save up and put yourself in a position where you can get one. Now if you want a Diamonoid, get a Diamonoid. God knows there are plenty around and you don’t have to do much to get one or even two. But know this: Tiffany’s is not going out of business anytime soon because times are hard out here and the cost of diamonds is “intimidating”. Diamonds are still in demand even if not by the majority. Besides, a man thinking that he is not good enough for a Diamond is a reflection of how he thinks of himself.
Friday, August 6, 2010
If I am home, I will allow myself to zone out for a half hour and watch syndicated episodes of The Office before I go to bed. I won't even answer my phone. It's my me time. Earlier this week this epsiode came on and I hollered like I was in a Pentecostal Holy Ghost tent revival.
Jesus be a Geppetto and make Jim Halpert a real boy.
Jesus be a Geppetto and make Jim Halpert a real boy.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
I told Tia this story about my experience at the Soul Food Music Festival a few weeks back and she said I had to share it. I am going to try my very best to make it as short as possible so I can tell it in one shot. So many of us are waiting on things right now and because the inevitable wait does not always come with a shot of Super Patience, it's easy to get weary. It's also easy to start second guessing yourself about the thing or things you are waiting for. A few weeks back I got a lesson in waiting that I will never forget. I mean a good ol' custom made lesson. I hope it blesses you.
A few weeks back I went to the Soul Food Music Festival here in
Brownie met me at the concert and I was there early enough to get the best seats in General Admission: smack dab in the center right behind VIP. I had pretty much guessed that Tevin Campbell would be next to last before Cameo. When Whodini went off Kenny Smoov, 92 Q's PD came on stage and said Tevin was running late and that Cameo, the closing act, was going to go in his place. I was immediately discouraged. "See? I knew it. Nothing ever turns out the way...." I thought and then I stopped myself. Truth was, I didn't know what the hold up was and I needed to remain calm. I didn't need to get upset about what I didn't know. What I did know was that the person in charge said that Tevin was coming. I've always known Kenny to be a man of his word. We have worked together before on some of my events so I trust Kenny. However, there were plenty of people there who haven't had the pleasure of getting to know Kenny as I have. Whether they cared to or not, there were signs that Kenny was in charge EVERYWHERE because everywhere you looked there were fans that had been passed out by 92Q staff with his face on it. There was no denying that what Kenny says, goes. His word was at stake. (I almost shouted right there. Like they say in church, walk with me yall. I’m goin’ somewhere with this. Somebody cue the organ.)
Cameo came on and rocked the house. Hearing "Candy" live was amazing (and so was the massive Electric Slide that broke out) but as they seemed to be lingering, I got really discouraged. I KNOW what Kenny said but it LOOKED like something else was going on. They let the DJ spin for what seemed to be forever and I wondered why Kenny hadn't said anything else from the stage. "I bet Tevin's not coming" I told Brownie. "Let's just start making it to the edge of the steps so when he finally announces it, we will have a head start and we'll roll out." For some reason however, we didn't quite make it to the exit. Looking back, I don't think we wanted to give up that easily. I looked at my phone and saw that Kenny sent out a message via Twitter that Tevin was coming but was running late. I showed the message to Brownie who is currently not on Twitter and didn't have the same access to the information that I did. We decided to stay. (I could preach right there on why it’s important to walk with like minded friends that are full of faith and not doubt and pessimism but I’ll let it go for brevity's sake.)
I retweeted the message that Kenny sent and to my surprise he kindly hit me back on Twitter stating that Tevin Campbell's flight had been delayed three times and that he was certain that he was on his way. I looked around and saw droves of people leaving. I even saw the same people who were standing in front of me in line leaving. Maybe they weren't on Twitter and didn't have the same info I did. Maybe they did, thought Kenny was full of it and decided to leave anyway. Maybe they were just simply tired of waiting. All I know is that Brownie and I had word from the man in charge and we were staying.
We started to walk back down to our seats when I suggested to Brownie that we rush down to the VIP area in when Tevin came on. "Why don't we just go down there now?" Brownie said. I was nervous about it because we didn't have the proper credentials so I didn't think that we had access. But as it turned out, because we had waited, we were free to go down to the VIP area with no problem (I tried to front like I was on the phone so I wouldn't make eye contact with security. Brownie was way to cool and confident for that and strolled on through.) When we made it to the front of the stage, there were only about three people there. I looked around and thought if this goes down the way it could really go down, if he indeed arrives like we hoped he would, we would already be in position. If this goes down the way that it looks like, this could turn out to be waaaaaaaaay better than what we expected all along! I looked up to the sky and said under my breath “Is this...is this about to...for real?” Brownie and I waited and waited for about another ten minutes. By this time it was 10:40 and I knew that we had until 11 before they had to shut everything down. The situation looked hopeless really. Most of the people had left and the stage hands had even packed everything up on the stage. Brownie nudged me to look to my right and that’s when we saw lights at the end of the road. It was a car making its way to the stage. I looked at the car. I looked at the stage. I looked at the car. I looked at the stage. Brownie then looked at me and said “They that wait, girl!”, referencing Isaiah 4:31. We laughed all over ourselves and squealed in excitement. With ten minutes left on the clock (*Bishop Walker voice* Touch your neighbor and say "Ten minutes left on the clock"), it was about to go down even better than we could have imagined.
Brownie and I walked to the front of the stage and waited. I held onto the railing and was practically under the stage while she stood back to get a wider view. I wanted to get as close as I could only because I COULD! There was no one in front of me, no one in the way for me to experience what I had been waiting for and what I was assured was going to get there. I could not believe what was really about to happen. I looked to the right of the stage and there was Tevin Campbell with a mic in his hand talking to Kenny Smoov. Kenny told everyone that waited around to make their way down to the front of the stage. Without further ado, Tevin Campbell came out and stood directly in front of me singing “I’m Ready”…and I turned into Ashley Banks from Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
I mean I jumped and squealed and sang my little heart out like I was 14 as soon as I was able to get my chin up off of the floor. The shock was not that I was two feet from Tevin Campbell. The shock was after all that waiting around after watching so many people give up and leave, what I waited for proved to be very much worth the wait; “Exceedingly an abundantly” (Ephesians 3:20)more worth the wait.
Tevin sang two songs because that was all he had time for. He ended at exactly 11 pm on the dot. Some people stayed around for autographs but Brownie and I were so content with how everything happened that we were good to go. Our waiting paid off and we were front row center and in perfect position to receive what Kenny assured us was coming. For me though this was the kicker: Kenny said that because so many people left because Tevin was late, he was going to ride him around to various clubs to meet the public so those that went out clubbin’ afterwards could get a chance to see him. This reminds me a lot about what I am learning about patience. Let’s say that we would’ve been on our way home when we heard that Tevin Campbell was going to be at Club Sensations. We would’ve had to make our way through downtown Saturday night traffic, pay to park for the second time that day, pay to get inside and hope to get peek of him and hear him sing. Yes, we would’ve seen him but it would’ve cost us more. I’m not saying that anyone was wrong to leave. I am just saying that it paid to stay.
The next morning I visited
Galatians 6:9 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Pushing Daisies is my current obsession. And I truly don't understand why it was canceled. It's cleverly written. It's aesthetically amazing. And most importantly, it has my current boyfriend in my head, Lee Pace, in it.I'm not sure how I'm just now discovering Lee. He's tall and super cute. And from the interviews I've seen, he comes across as the slightly geeky guy who knows he's hot but still remains a gentleman. Basically he's the type of guy I would want to date because he's hot AND I could hold an intellectual conversation with him. And did I mention HE'S TALL. No offense to the short men of the world, but I'm tall and I wear heels. I love tall men. I think that's fair.
Anyway, should I ever meet Lee I will do my best to not go all wacko fan on him. But he's got one time to tousle that hair and smile and I then I can't be held responsible for my actions.
Monday, August 2, 2010
First and foremost thank everyone so much for your thoughts, prayers and well wishes for my mother. After seeing video footage of the EMTs cutting my mother and her friend from the car, I'm completely convinced that it's nothing short of a miracle that neither of them were killed or more seriously injured.
She's doing okay. However, with so many broken bones and fractures she's got quite a bit of recovery ahead of her. So please continue to pray and send well wishes.
Sitting in the hospital ICU with my mother put a lot of things in perspective for me. I realized that I need to be more mindful about letting go of some of the past hurts that I've let push me away from my mother. And no matter what, she did her best. I've only got one mom and it's up to me what I do with the relationship.
Another thing that I realized is that life is short. You hear it all of the time. But it's not until you're blindsided with mortality that you realize that life truly is a breath away from being over. I know it's kind of macabre but it's been eye opening. The whole situation has made me realize that there are a lot things that I want to do. And for whatever reason, be it financial or otherwise I've haven't been living life like I could have or should have been.
If I'm being honest part of me has been waiting to do stuff WITH someone one. I travel solo for work all of the time. So the idea of traveling solo for pleasure is unappealing to me. And I know myself and know that solo travel is NEVER going to appeal to me. So one of things on my list is to start a group for single folks that just want to travel. Because I'm certain I'm not the only single female who's wanted to go somewhere but doesn't want to go alone.
So I've decided no more excuses. I'm going to start traveling and playing and shooting (I'll explain shortly) to my heart's content. I want to be old and wrinkly on the pouch with my hubby laughing about the time I kissed a complete stranger before I met him of course.
Now, this list is a work in progress. As I think of things I will of course add them. I don't know that I will ever stop adding things but I guess that's the fun of it. So here's what I have so far.
- Kiss a stranger - I know this is weird and kind of gross. But for some reason when I started the list this was one of the first things I thought of. I may need to re-evaluate this one. But for now it stays.
- Learn how to play drums - I have wanted to play the drums since I was very young. And I remember distinctly a conversation I had with my grandmother about why girls didn't play drums. In her defense, the woman never wore pants a day in her life. She was old school. But that conversation came during a formative period in my life. So when it came time to pick instruments in school instead of drums I picked clarinet because the saxophone class was already full. (I hated the clarinet by the way.) So as soon as I have my own space I'm heading over to a used music store and buying a kit.
- Go to driving school/drive the Autobahn - Charlize Theron earned all kinds of respect from me when I learned that during the driving training for The Italian Job she out drove all of the other guys in the movie. The instructor had even initially scheduled extra training for her...because she was a girl. Then she came in and whooped everyone else. So if she can do it, so can I.
And since I'm a nerd, I want to LEARN how to drive fast properly before I actually do it. I don't think it's wise to drive 120 mph on the German Autobahn without at least having some defensive driving training. So I'm going to learn how to drive fast (and maybe do some doughnut and spin outs) and then I'm going to go fast like Ricky Bobby.
- Learn how to fire a gun - I love movies with bada$$ characters with guns. I think the problem with our society is that too many people fancy themselves as bada$$es and think just having a gun makes you one. I'm not going to crap on the constitution and say people shouldn't have guns. But I do think there needs to be more accountability.
Anyway, since it is one of my constitutional rights, I want to learn how to shoot. Now I'm never going to be one of those people walking around with a gun, but I would like to be a chick who can say she can shoot a target at 100 yards with deadly accuracy.
- Travel - Ohhhhh....the lists of places that I want to go gets longer about once a week. I want to go Greece because I just watched The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. I want to go to Toronto because I was watching a documentary that was shot there and didn't realize how FLY that city really is. I want to go to Brazil because I want to see the Christ the Redeemer statue. I want to go to Spain for the food and the hotties. So basically I want to run my passport ragged.
- Go to Comic Con - YES...I am THAT big of a nerd. Enough said.
That's the list for now. I know it sounds cliche to have a bucket list but ask yourself this, "If I could do anything, would I do it?" If you say yes and you can do it, then you should do it. At least that's what I keep telling myself. I'll keep you posted.