Part 4: A Beautiful World- Toya
"I think I'm going to shave my head and travel Europe for about three months"
I said this to my mentor yesterday in Philadelphia during my visit home for my mom's surprise 60th birthday party. "I missed that first part. Shave your head?" she laughed. "Okay, well maybe not shave my head. I figure I have about three inches of new growth right now so maybe I will cut it down to there and travel Europe." I've been thinking I need to reset my life. I've been half kidding about this but if I could get an endorsement from Jansport, Essence, At&T, Delta and maybe Mastercard, I would go to the nearest barber, shave this stuff off and peace all the way out. Half kidding of course.
Oh who am I kidding? Why am I telling the universe and God that I am half kidding? I am entirely serious. Ever since Tia asked me what is it that I do for myself, I have been scrambling around for an answer. No joke, I walked for eight hours around Philadelphia on Thursday because I was so happy to be in a pedestrian friendly city for the first time in months. My legs paid for it later but it was so worth it. My friend Brandi called while I was on South Street. "What are you doin'?" she asked already knowing that I was doing something peculiar. "Walking the city. All of it. Went as far as I could go on the train and decided to walk all over the place." She cracked up. "Does it ever bother you at all that there is a whole big world out there that you haven't seen yet? That bugs me!" "I know what you mean." she agreed. So I walked and took pictures of things that I had walked past for years when I lived close by in New Jersey but never stopped to notice such as The Philadelphia Magic Gardens which looks like it is straight out of The Wiz. I have walked right passed that gate for years and always wondered about it. Where was I going in life that I never stopped and went inside? That's the beginning of an even bigger question.
As silly and reckless as this may seem, what could I do to leave for three months and see a good chunk of the world? Just three months. I'll come back and do whatever anyone wants me to continue doing but three months to myself would be a dream come true and I don't remember the last time I have dreamed about anything.
I usually don't hit the "what on earth is happening in my life" crisis until halfway until my birthday which hits around July. For the first time however this isn't about age. Turning 36 isn't the issue. Life being too short is.
If you've been reading this blog long enough you already know that my life has a soundtrack. It should be no surprise that this song was playing as I looked out the window after boarding the plane:
It’s a beautiful world I see, everything looks differently
It’s a beautiful world I see, these moments are changing me? When I look at the sky I see the reason why I know,
When I look out from the window,
The moon and stars shine all their lights down from the heavens
I choir of angels strike a chord and lift their voices
And then we sing out,
I’ve been lost but now I’ve found what’s right in front of me.