Thursday, April 29, 2010

Be Happy: Getting Back to Me
Part 2- Don'tcha Get So Mad About It by Toya

So apparently I have a bit of a pride issue that I am currently striving to get free from. Last weekend after my staycation I came to the realization that I get really mad when people don't take my advice. I mean, straight up and down offended. I didn't notice it until Sunday. Tia and I have a mutual friend who, well, I am not going to put their business in the blog streets so I will just say that they cry victim but then do what they want to do. So when this happened for the umpteenth time despite what Tia and I have said to them, I couldn't wait to tell Tia. I mean, I was burnin'. "Some people don't believe boo boo stinks" I said to Tia immediately after I picked up the phone. My dad used to say that all the time. In fact, he probably still does. I went on to tell her how this person just won't listen. We conversed about it for a bit and came to the conclusion that we hope it works out for them even though we could bet one month's salary that it won't. After I got off the phone with her something began to bug me. Why couldn't I wait to tell her that? What is the real issue here? And why did I spend so much time talking badly about others that make poor decisions after I give them my two cents worth of common sense of what to do? The question was not why do I care. The question was why was I angry?

Because I think I know everything. Yup, that's it. I know everything. And so when I tell someone what to do, if they would just do it, POOF, the problem will go away! Riiiiiiight. Somewhere along the way I forgot to look in the mirror and remember that growth is a process. Letting bad habits go is a process. Hell, I could've looked at my bank account to remember that. There is one particular instance that happened in my life where not only was there an intervention but had it continued, I don't doubt that some of my friends would've tried to put me on some talk show to get me to see the light. I just couldn't seem to get out. I didn't want to really. It was so hard and the issues behind it just ran too deep. So because I have friends that didn't give up on me and stop talking to me about it (it really was ridiculous) I pretty much owe mankind a favor to bear with others. I mean, I have a lifetime of paying it forward.

I'll say this though: I have a limit. I have friends who I have had to tell "Look, we don't talk about this anymore. In order for us to be friends, this is off limits."I can't listen to people complain about stuff that they continue to get tangled up in but will argue you down to the ground that what they are doing is right and then turn around and complain all over again. I won't do it. The only difference is I am not getting mad about it anymore. Do you! Why should I get mad about it? I can't care more about them getting free than they do.

Bottom line, to get mad at people for not taking your advice is prideful. It's called your advice because it is YOURS. People are entitled to refuse anything you try to give them. I have to admit this has really been freeing. I have had a few relapses but for the most part I am happy with everyone right now. No grudges, no shaking my head at anyone. Everyone is on their own journey. Life is hard and people should be able to live it without my passing judgment. Now if I can just stop getting mad at people with stupid opinions. Yeah, this is going to be a long process...

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