Tia and I (Toya) spent New Year's Eve (and weekend) together here in Nashville. Right after the ball dropped, I went into one of the bedrooms in the house we were partying in, sat on the bed and exhaled over and over and over again like I just ran four city blocks. I looked back on the past year and just though "Whew! What a ride! Thank you God that is over with." 2009 was absolutely crazy. I don't care what happens this year, I am just glad that 2009 is over.
Do I have New Year's resolutions? Not really. I have a short term memory (a selective one I guess) so the best I can do is stop going through cycles and that's day by day. I feel like this is the year of the great wide open. I have big expectations on top of no expectations at all. I seriously don't know what I want this year to bring specifically outside of simple direction.
Deuteronomy 30 is my bible verse for the year. It's great. It basically says that God has a lot for us and wants to do a lot for us but obedience to Him and maintaining those blessings demands a lot from us. It seems impossible for me sometimes to think that I can do the right thing the majority of the time when it comes to the things I most struggle with but this is my favorite part right here:
11 Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. 12 It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, "Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" 13 Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, "Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" 14 No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.
15 See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. 16 For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.Loving God for me has to come before obedience. A lot of that lies in the belief that He loves me. I learned last year that in some ways I went through the motions when it came to my faith. I needed to read this much of the bible, and pray this way, and worship a certain way and I got frustrated. God wants honesty. I'd hate to be married to someone and every time we got together their words seemed so calculated. I'd hate if something was wrong in our relationship and I hurt them if they never told me and kept saying "But you're the best though!" I would want to know the truth. The better my relationship with God becomes the more I want to trust in what He says and follow it. It's not easy though.
Every year Tia and I have a slogan for the new year. This year is full with so much uncertainty that I don't think we can come up with a catchy one. I have heard Win in 2010. I have heard Get Men in 2010. Hey, I am not opposed to either! LOL! While I may not have a slogan, I do have a belief: this year is going to be like none other. What are you all expecting for 2010?