Saturday, December 5, 2009

I Wasn't Going to Say Anything Toya

I think I need some help in understanding what stereotype black women are expected to live up to, better yet, reduce themselves to, nowadays because I am highly confused.

Let me start by saying that I have no gripe with Tiger Woods because well, I don't know that man at all. I have to say that I was indeed a little shocked to find out that he has been cheating on his wife because to me he still looks like a little boy who is just getting his adult teeth in. Basketball, baseball, and football players cheating? Oh all day long. Golfers? Really? Just like the temptation of infidelity is no respecter of sport, neither is the temptation to judge and stereotype...which brings me to my point.

I have heard and read numerous comments from Twitter, to the radio, to Facebook about what a "real sista" would've done and why he should have married one in the first place. From what I gather, a real sista would keep her mouth shut and stay for the money. At the same time, I have heard that Tiger Woods' wife is an idiot if she doesn't stay because before they married she was a model and a nanny so what else would she be good for?


Sooooooo if a real sista would stay in an unhappy marriage and take the money and watch the kids doesn't that too now make her a nanny? High priced, but a nanny nonetheless? And that's not only acceptable but expected? Since when?!

I am a firm believer that you should marry who you love but when you do, you better love the one you're with. I don't care about race. Yet, it's 2009 and people are still saying that is what Tiger gets for marrying a white woman? And I am really confused because I thought a real sista would "Bust the Windows Out Your Car" like Jazmine Sullivan and that's why many black athletes marry white women because they are supposedly submissive and docile. When exactly did the stereotype of a real sista change? When Kanye West came out with "Golddigger"? Is this a reason why so many R&B songs today have men talking about all of the things that they can buy a woman because that's all that black women want? Comments such as "that's what he gets. He should've been with a sista in the first place" insinuate that if he would've "stuck with his own kind" (which Tiger told yall is Cablinasian so good luck with that) then he wouldn't have cheated. *side eye* Unless you were hiding under a rock on Saturn this summer, you know that's not true (I'm trying to be sensitive here but if you are confused, google Steve McNair). One could also say, "Ok maybe he would've cheated but at least a real sista would keep her mouth shut and not try to fight him in the street." Perhaps you have never heard of Brenda Richie either.

I hate stereotypes of black women especially when they are coming out of the mouths of and being perpetuated by black people. I hate the fact that this situation has turned into a discussion about interracial relationships. I really had a lot more to say about this until I read Russell Simmons blog (http://http// that pretty much said all that I wanted to say. Like to hear it? Here it go...

White Women Will Bust Your S*** Just Russell Simmons

As this Tiger Woods story grows, race is becoming and will become a bigger issue. For Tiger and Elin, race has nothing to do with it. But, for many, many onlookers, race is becoming the central theme for discussion. Proof that we are not in a post racial society is hearing a lot of people and a lot of gossip sites saying…”if Tiger was with a black girl” or “if Tiger was married to a Puerto Rican.” I don’t care who Tiger is married to. A woman, no matter what race, will smash your windshield if she finds out that you got girls all over the country. Whether they use a golf club, a football helmet, a baseball bat or a preacher’s wife using a heavy cross…you can say hello to the guys at auto body shop for me.

Not for a second do I think that Tiger and Elin are thinking about race. The pain is not a racial pain, but it is a human pain. A pain to reconcile or split. A pain to discuss why mommy and daddy are in the news. A pain to go out in public again. Hearing people say that “this white girl is gonna take him to the cleaners,” is absurd. This has nothing to do with the fact that Elin is white, this is all about lawyers, accountants, agents and business advisors. That little pocket change he is negotiating with his wife right now, $55m to stay for 2 years or $5m to leave, is offensive. Tiger’s lucky he’s not negotiating with Kimora Lee.

That last line almost killed me. So are we loud, unreasonable, manipulative hens or golddiggers whose silence can be bought? What's really good?

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