Monday, September 14, 2009


Seriously, THIS is what should've been the highlight of last night. The lack of humility and professionalism on this night should prove that Michael Jackson was the epitome of a great entertainer. Just when I thought it couldn't be possible, I miss him even more now.

2009 VMA's- Toya
Every year I do a real time run down of my reactions to the Hot Mess Championships that are known as MTV’s Video Music Awards. I think they have some gall even having a video awards show when they don’t show NAMN video, but whatevs. Here is how it went down for me last night…

Right after America’s Best Dance Crew went off…

1. A POX on who ever is voting for Afro Borique on ABDC! A POX I SAY!!! (I know this has nothing to do with the awards show but I needed my protest to be known).

Pre- Show

1. Lady Gaga has a look on her face that says "This is the dumbest idea that me and my manager have ever come up with”. This is laughable. I probably shouldn’t compare her to Madonna but Madonna made some pretty bad costume choices early in her career as well. And while I am giving her a pass, the person who DOES NOT get a pass is this child that just said that Lady Gaga is the Grace Jones of our generation. Lady Gaga is not the Grace Jones of our generation. GRACE JONES is the Grace Jones of our generation. Anyway, that metal mask on her face reminds of the Tin Man from The Wiz. If she wins, will she cry like "A-tee deee, a-tee deee"?

2. I will publicly declare that I love Taylor Swift. She writes a mess out of a song, she keeps her clothes on & has some of the best car karaoke songs EVER. I cringe to think of who has pulled up beside me while I sing “She wears high heels, I wear sneakers, she’s cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers” with my rock finger in the air whilst driving.

3. Oh it’s the Fame kids. Natori, I love u but your "love scene" with Biggie in Notorious caused my vision to go down by about 20 points. I am not the least bit psyched about this new Fame movie. It should at the very least be called Fame: The Next Generation. This looks like High School Musical 4.

It’s Starting…

1. Oh look, it’s Maddie (Madonna).

2. Madonna, I will hurt you for coming out here like Brooke Shields did during Michael’s homegoing. I have a headache right now because I refuse to cry. She put it down. However, I am a little salty about her talking about her dates with Michael Jackson. And by salty I mean jealous. Oh and his comment of “Can you see me now? Is that better?” *Sigh* Mike was a sexy beast. Say what you want to.

3. Janet did great. That must've been so hard. Doing Scream was a great idea and I hope this seals her comeback. She needs one.

4. Yes Taylor won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait.

Oh…I…Oh my God. I need Beyonce to say something REAL QUICK. This is unbelievable. How do you do that to a child??!!! And right before she has to perform??? What is his problem? I am done with Kanye. Officially done. I tell you one thing, Kanye. You try that ish on Pink. Alicia will SHANK YOU! Unbelievable.

5. Lady Gaga has me so shook right now that I have turned the channel to Joel Osteen so that I can renew my mind.

6. I love when Green Day goes punk. I miss that.

7. Still worried about Taylor Swift. She is so sweet. She's probably backstage giving Kanye the Care Bear Stare

8. I hope they tell Kanye he can't perform. Chris Brown has a better chance of a comeback right now.

9. Eminem needs a hug.

10. Confession: That Gives You Hell song is my jam

11. I was waiting for some sort of DJ AM tribute.

12. Sooo…the girl with Asher Roth? Anyone?

13. Ok, now Lady Gaga is just hilarious to me. Has she heard enough of the "poke her face" jokes and that’s why every costume change involves some sort of mask to guard her grill? I have no other explanation.

14. Video of the Year Award is up now. Confession: "Single Ladies" was nothing to me but Beyonce' and two girls dancing. I'm sorry... not really

15. I knew Beyonce's would make it right. Now that's class. However, in my perfect world, Beyonce & Jay-Z would have come out and Jay-Z would have had Kanye West headlock until he apologized. But then again in my perfect world, Ne-Yo and I go together.

16. Say what you want but as someone in their 30’s I think Jay-Z just showed his age by showing up to the awards right before he performed at the end of the night. Yall KNOW he took a disco nap before he arrived! Is it passed Jay-Z's bed time?

17. Alicia Key’s pants are DOPE! If they have those pants at Forever 21, I am on them joints! Umm, but now that she has gotten up, who is playing piano right now?

18. Uh... Is Lil Mama on The Roc now? What is going on with MTV’s security this year? How one earth did she get onstage? Can I get a slow-mo?

19. Well that concludes this year's MTV Video Music Awards brought to you by...The Prince of the Air (Ephesians 2:2)! What are your thoughts on the night?

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