Thursday, June 18, 2009

Toya's Confessions

1. I don't know if this is much of a confession but I love a man with freckles. LOVE LOVE LOVE a brotha with freckles, especially. Common has freckles.

Nuff said.

2. Umm...this hurts me to admit but I watch and thoroughly enjoy VH1's Daisy of Love (*shirking back in embarrassment*). It's AWFUL television and I will probably need to return to high school to do my senior year all over again because I am positive that I have lost brain cells in watching it but still. I confess. I watch it. If you have also shamefully tuned in, you are probably familiar with Fox, a fake A**, Grade B Johnny Depp who is fine but can't tell the truth to save his natural life.

Awful. And yet, I can't seem to be able to help myself.

3. Another confession that I am not nearly as ashamed of is I love me some Taylor Swift. It took me a long time and well, she is definitely no Jennifer Hudson live (she aint even Jennifer Love Hewitt live) but she is sweet as pie, can write the hell out of a song (Love Story, Fifteen) and has managed to keep all of her clothes on. I can get behind that. Also, the spoof she did with T-Pain before the CMT Awards was hilarious. It's good to see that she doesn't take herself too seriously.

4. I had an Oprah moment this year when I looked up and discovered that I have gained close to 20 pounds and counting. It was rough to handle because for me, although I am fairly small, additional weight symbolizes being out of control and I don't like that at all.
BIG confession: I have always had a negative body image and have recently decided that enough is enough. After trying so many failed diets and fhaving so many false starts I have come to realize that losing weight is not the solution. Loving my body is and it starts first in the mind. So I am doing something about it.

I have started going a few weeks with just fruit and vegetables, not to lose weight but to give myself a break. I don't want to think about food or struggle with what to eat and what not. I just want to start with the basics. I am not promising myself to go walking early in the morning. Instead, I am going to try yoga and pilates to get in touch with every roll and crevice of my body. If I can love me, ALL of me, I can get in shape. The bottom line is being healthy physically, spiritually and mentally. It's past due.

This all came about one day when I decided to pay very close attention to my thoughts. Oh my goodness!!!! I suggest everyone try this at one time or another. I never knew I was so hard on myself! I had no idea that I compared myself so much to other people and judged other women based on my own insecurities. Crazy. So I am detoxifying everything, body and mind. It's a process and I am going to let it be just that. I don't want a quick fix. I want a permanent one.

5. I miss my curly hair and fully plan on going back to it by my birthday. At least now I know I have options.

6. Drake: I don't get it.


7.
By now you have probably read Tia's recent Donnie Wahlberg Don't Change installment. I mean! I promise you when I heard about this I thought that if I would've been there I would have pointed at him with two crooked fingers and gone into my best Miss Celie (the Color Purple) voice:


Donnie Wahlberg, until you do right by me everything you even think about go'n fail...

Like I have previously said, I have seen his work before. We can do WHATEVER? Donnie, Donnie, Donnie. Tia said "And I am pretty sure he looked at my booty". You think?! $20 says he is probably lookin' at a booty in the above picture. I'm no expert but Donnie reminds me of one of those guys that would even look over your shoulder to sneak a peak at your booty. I'm just sayin'. Truth be told, I loves me some Donnie. I just fear that if not careful he is going to become that old dude in the club. Ya know, tryin' to holla with a velour sweatsuit on and a herringbone necklace? Don't be that dude, dude.

8. If I had millions I would sow a seed into Kimora Lee Simmons ministry of Hello Kitty diamond jewelry. I understand that there are starving people in third world countries but I don't think that any of them would be offended if I got this ring whilst supplying them clean running water and building blocks of homes in their villages.




I'm just sayin'...

9. I came REAL close to telling a friend that is moving to a whole nother country that I have always had a crush on him but the words just would not come out. I mean, it's not an overwhelming crush. Just a crush that only surfaces when I see him. I decided against it. Umm and for those who obviously know who I am talking about, what is said on the blog STAYS on the blog.

What I will say is that this dude is so fly to me and makes me so happy to be hopeful about love. There are a few guys in my life like that that I respect so much. We are completely platonic (and should stay that way) but they make me remember how wonderful men are and how sweet it is when you find the right one at the right time. It's a great thing. So yeah, he is a good dude and so is my husband.

10. If my car does not pass emmissions soon I may be writing Toya Goes to Jail parts 8-14. pray for a sista, won't you?

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