BBD song from back in the day. I need New Edition (sans Bobby Brown) to come to Nashville post haste. Every woman needs to see them at least once in their lifetime.
After almost 8 months of unemployment, I found out today that I got the first job that I have interviewed for since I got laid off. I start tomorrow. You would think that I would've been elated, right? Yeah, I almost cried...and not with tears of joy.
You see, I felt guilty (didn't I just nail guilt to the cross on Easter?). I had this feeling that I was released from my last job unexpectedly to move into something great. I didn't think that something great was to be another desk job. However, this is at a radio station so I got that going for me. I am not ungrateful at all. I am relieved and so is my bank account. I just felt like maybe I missed something and am now back at square one. I have asked God for direction over and over again as far as what the next step was to be and have always felt like I was so close but not quite there. I still don't feel like my revelation has come yet. I don't know how I could've missed it though. I have had all the time in the world. I just wish He'd give me a glimpse of the future somehow.
All is not lost though. I learned that I do not enjoy working for myself, by myself. If I was to work for myself then I would need to rent an office. I need structure. I missed not having some place to go to every day where other people were working. I called my mom and told her how I was feeling and she reminded me that God's timing is not my timing and that I should be happy with myself. So I decided to not feel bad about these past 8 months and use this opportunity as a second chance; a second chance to act more responsibly and get on my grind a bit more. As Michael Baisden said "Do what's hard while you have it easy." I think I got lax with my last 9-5 when it came to pursuing other things because I took a steady paycheck for granted. Oh not anymore. Uh uh.
This should be interesting. Isn't it always?