Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Toya's Coffeehouse Confessions

We have really sucked at keeping up with BGLU and I am so sorry. There is a ton going on. Some uncertainty but it's looking sweet.  Here are some random things that I would like to share and discuss with yall...

1. My songs that I am playing the FOOL out of right now are B. Reith's "Rain Down" and Ju'Not Joyner's American Idol performance o
f  "Hey Delilah". I can't play either one of them just once. "Rain Down" JACKS me up.  It's the most unlikely worship song but something about it gets me teary almost every time I listen to it. As for "Hey Delilah", why this brotha did not make it to the Top 10 on AI is an abomination before the Lord and mankind.  This song leaves me in a puddle on the floor after I listen to it.  I think I bought it last week and my play count is at 45 or something like that.  I just can't stop listening to it! I never even cared about this song or the words until I heard him sing it. If a couple of the contestants would not have gotten mercy votes (yes, I said it), he would've been a shoe in.

2. Speaking of America and votes and such, I am so pissed about this whole Miss USA vs. Perez Hilton on gay marria
ge thing. Regardless of how you feel about gay marriage, how in the hell can you be ridiculed for exercising your right of freedom of speech in an American pageant? Are you kidding me???? If I get started on this I am going to get more angry than I need to be right now and I already have a headache.  I just don't understand how you can have the right to believe in whatever you want to believe in as long as what you believe in agrees with a popular agenda... in America. I can't emphasize that enough. Seriously. I am so mad about this. Moving on...

3. Swagger: I HATE this word.  Let me explain something: I have a hard time believing that you can be under the age of 40 (I will even go as far as to say 38) and have swagg
er. If you are making songs about swagger, you don't have it. Swagger is unspoken. Only grown men have swagger.  Billy Dee Williams in Lady Sings the Blues? CRAZY SWAGGER!!!!!  Souljah Boy?  NO.  President Obama? The Ambassador of Swagger. Lil' Wayne? NO.  Oh my headache is getting worse...

Run, don't walk, to your nearest bookstore and buy the book Zora and Nicky.  Now listen, I am not saying buy it beca
use it is about an interracial couple. I know Tia and I seem like the poster children for that and I would be lying if the cover didn't catch my eye for that reason but this book is a must.  Here is the book description from Amazon.com

Two Hearts, One God.
Should Anything Else Matter?

Zora Nella Hampton Johnson knows exactly where she comes from—and her daddy won't let her forget. Of course for that privilege he keeps her in Prada and Kate Spade, Coach and YSL. He chooses her boyfriend, her car, her address, and ignores her love of painting, art, and the old ways of her grandaddy's soulful AME church—where the hymns pleaded, cajoled, and raised the roof. Her daddy may be a preacher, but some-where among the thousands of church members, the on-site coffee house, and the JumboTron, Zora lost God. And she wants Him back.

Nicky Parker, a recent graduate of Berkeley and reformed playboy, also suffers the trials of being a preacher's kid, and he can't remember the last time he saw eye-to-eye with his white, racist, Southern Baptist father. What he does remember—and it will be forever burned in his brain despite myriad prayers to Jesus—is the way Zora looked the first time he saw her. Like Nefertiti. Only better. When they meet at a bible study far from their respective home churches, the first churlish, sarcastic sparks that fly sizzle with defensiveness. But God has a special way of feeding the flames and though of different flocks, these two lost sheep will find Him and much, much more.

I love,love, love,love,love this book. If BGLU had a bookstore we would sell this book with a copy of Angel Taylor's latest CD. I swear.

5. I think I am really close to getting a job. Really close.

I have been watching a lot of The Church Channel lately and my favorite preacher right now is Pastor Andy Thompson out of North Carolina. He comes on Thursdays.  At first I didn't want to watch him because truth be told he is fine to the 2nd power (notice I tried to be very respectful and put up a picture of him with his wife) but he is such a good preacher so I had to make myself focus at first(when you tell the truth, you shame the devil or so they say). Last week he was talking about hope. He said that hope is the sum of desire and expectation.  Sometimes we desire things and pray for them but we do so without expecting to get them.  Well if "faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1) could it be that we struggle to get the things that we need because our faith equation is off?  I am not saying that God is in heaven pointing a finger at us saying "You better get this thing down perfectly" but I do believe that a relationship with Him is so important to Him that He wants us to know that He wants to bless us and we should expect that. I believe that this has been the case for me. I've struggled so much in the past with guilt over past mistakes that I tend to ask God for what I need with my head down.  The bible says we are to come boldly before the throne of GRACE.  God has so much grace for each and every one of us, especially when we mess up again and again and again.  During this month at church we have crosses in the sanctuary where we can nail things to them in remembrance of the crucifixion. By nailing our past to the cross, it symbolizes that Christ died for our sins and mistakes and because of this we are not to walk around guilty.  So I wrote "guilt for simply not being perfect" on my card and walked up at the end of the service and nailed it to the cross. The sound of the hammer nailing my shame to the cross was so intense and so surreal.  I definitely feel like a better person.

7. Along with having a new attitude, I also got a new haircut.


It was just time is all.  I needed a change.  People have their opinions about going from natural hair to straight hair. Truth be told, it's just hair.  I like it and that is all that matters.  And of course it has rained three days straight since.

8. Tia plans to be here in Nashville on Cinco De Mayo, otherwise known to us as Margarita Day. We don't celebrate this day with anyone else.  I mean, our husbands better be REAL cool dudes if we ever decide to celebrate it with them because we don't invite anyone EVER.

9.  I'm still getting used to having roommates. My roommates are great. I am just in my own world and my room is it's own mess.  If you're a guy you might not want to read this next part:
On top of stress, I have suffered bad allergies and a menstrual cycle that lasted a week.  The thing about living with other people is that I can sometimes be concerned about how things look. Not having a job, I don't want them to think I am just bumming all day watching Rock of Love or something.  Oooh, this brings me to my next and final point....

10.  WHEN did it get SO bad for women that we have opted to go on national television and do relay races to get a man?????? What in the hell is wrong with our gender??????  Now I will say this:  If my parents didn't raise me well and LL Cool J was single, I perhaps would consider doing a 3 legged/potato sack/some type of Field  Day (remember those) type race but that's Todd Smith right there and not Flava Flav, Brett Michaels and Ray J.  I may punch the next man in the the throat that says women are too intimidating to approach nowadays. We live in a country where Flava Flav has had his pick of over 20 women to choose from TWICE.  I can't...

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