Friday, April 3, 2009

LaToya Goes To Jail Part 1- Toya

So I got arrested 2 weeks ago...

I always felt like this was going to happen between Tia and me. One of us was going to get arrested. However, I thought it would at least be for something honorable and not for being a dumb...donkey.

I don't always follow directions, mostly because I don't like directions. Let me clarify: I don't mind directions but I don't like a lot of WORDS. I need to know...go here, do this, turn right, sign this. Not if this happens, do this, in 6 days, call this, etc. I like cut and dry. The traffic system is anything but cut and dry.

They know me downtown at the department of safety because I used to always get parking tickets and my car never passes emissions the first go round so I annually get pulled over for expired tags. Well unbeknownst to me my license was suspended for...see I still don't know. I went in and paid it but evidently I missed a court date or something wacky and was supposed to go to a whole nother building to take care of the matter. The thing is I don't remember.All I remember is paying something and the man behind the glass window who recognized me when I came in started telling me something with a lot of words. About 8 seconds in he started sounding like Charlie Brown's teacher. Before I zoned out though, I vaguely remember him saying something about me not having to go to court and that this was no longer a problem. Oh it's never a problem until someone winds up in handcuffs.

Fast forward to Wednesday March 19th, the most beautiful day in Nashville thus far. I was driving on West End determined to get my second temporary tags for my car that still won't pass emmissions just in time to pick my mom up from the airport. The sun is shining and my window is down listening to my favorite Jamiroquai mixtape. I remember feeling so grateful, so free. And then I see some lights go off behind me in an unmarked car. It was The Man. The Man pulled me over right in front of Starbucks. He came to the window and I just knew I was scott free. I had a fool proof "see what had happened was" story already going for me: I was on my way to get my tags taken care of. When I told him this he was real cool , took my license to run it and said he was just going to give me a warning. A few minutes later he briskly walked towards my car with a rather pissed off look on his face. "Pull over. You're license is suspended."

I was so confused as I pulled over behind Starbucks hoping that no one I knew could see me but still hoping to be pubicly visible because well, it's the cops. I got out the car and explained to him that I thought everything had been taken care of. He said even though I paid the ticket that did not mean that my license was no longer suspended. After I paid the ticket, I was supposed to go to another building and get it reinstated.

The Man: "Now today is your lucky day. The only reason I won't arrest you here on the spot is because I have to go meet someone for lunch".

Me: "Ok sir" but thinking "I guess that would mean being lucky...if I didn't know what being lucky was..."

The Man: "I'm taking your license from you. You are not to drive. I repeat, DO NOT DRIVE. Get somebody to pick you up. You must go turn yourself in TODAY. Not tomorrow, not next week, TODAY"

"OMG", I thought. Not my GOOD license picture! That's the best picture I have ever taken! As he pulled off I stood there stranded and decided to call Brandi. Brandi's car had just broken down and Damien was on his way to meet her for a writing session. According to her ,(This is one of my favorite quotes), the conversation went something like this:

Brandi: Umm, yeah we need to go get Toya. She has to go turn herself into the police.

Damien: Toya WHO?

Brandi: Toya, Toya! You know, FLOWER DRESS TOYA?

Priceless...Part 2 coming soon...

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