Tuesday, March 17, 2009

NKOTB recap – Tia
I'm currently out of town but I don't have my personal laptop with me. When I get back home I'll post the pictures to go with the post.

I was fortunate enough to get to go to the New Kids show again last night in Nashville. While the show was good, I would have to say the Atlanta show was better. The production was excellent and overall it was a really good show. But for some reason, a couple of the guys *coughJoncoughJordancough* just didn’t seem to care too much. Jon especially. Although he did win the pose off at the end of Click, Click, Click.

The decibel level in the place was earth shattering. I thought it was loud in Atlanta. But I think I can safely say that Nashville was louder. I found myself wondering how it must feel to have thousands of people (mostly middle-aged women, but whatever) screaming for you. I’ve heard rumors of certain people *coughDonniecoughDannycough* being manwhores on the tour. Honestly, I don’t doubt it. The adoration and devotion of some of the New Kids fans is not easily matched by the fans of any performer out today. I mean, honestly, when was the last time you saw thousands of fans going apeshizz over a group? Wait, let me rephrase that: when was the last time you saw thousands of fans who were old enough to drive, vote and drink going apeshizz over a group? (I heard those Jonas boys have some Beatle-worthy fans. But most of them can’t even legally get behind the wheel of a car.) So to hear that the baby-daddy bus (a tour insider told me that’s what Donnie and Danny call their bus) has a revolving door of women doesn’t surprise me at all.

Overall, I have to give them credit. To be middle-aged and still doing the steps from Step by Step is a feat in and of itself. Even Jon got them mostly right. (Y’all know he struggles. He struggled when he was 21. He struggles now.) And although at times unmotivated, for the most part The Block gives you what you want as a fan. You will hear your classics (Joey has LONG since left adolescence, so Please Don’t Go Girl starts SEVERAL octaves lower than the original cd version) and you’ll hear the new joints (Donnie, I will take your Grown Man. You JUST DON’T KNOW!!) And as hard as you may try, you will at some point find yourself screaming like a junior high school girl and proclaiming your love for the Block member of your choice. You think you won’t. You SAY you won’t. You will.

Some highlights:

Jordan is just going keep taking off his shirt for Baby, I Believe in You. That’s fine.

Donnie kissed at least 4 girls in the front row. Ummm….NO. If y’all knew where his mouth has been you would be so sad.

Jon literally just GAVE UP when the guys were performing in the middle of the auditorium. He sat on the piano as if to say, “I JUST DON’T CARE!!” Yes, Jon, we know. Well, some of us know.

Jordan did Give It to You from his solo album. I need him to stop tripping and do some part of Separate Ways.

I feel bad for the lack of love Danny gets. But I respect the fact that he can still windmill as a middle-aged man.

I love Donnie like a fat kid loves cake. But he really is not much of a singer. I mean, I fine with that. But know your strengths. He is consistently flat and/or off key. But I will TOTALLY be his Covergirl.

I think Joey did some sort of tap dance or Riverdance routine during his solo song. A song, I might I add, that I didn’t recognize AT ALL. Was Joey on Broadway or something? Because between his Dancing with the Stars routine and his inspirational singles, he’s just extra enough to be in someone’s stage play.

Jon walked off the stage twice toward the end of the show. Maybe he was sick or something.

There were WAY TOO MANY women dressed in spandex at this show. I saw more crimped hair, side ponytails, neon colors and puffy painted, off shoulder sweatshirts than there should be in this decade. The girl next to me pointed to a girl a few rows ahead of us and said, “She has PUFFY PAINT on her shirt. I have puffy paint at home but I use it correctly.” I love drunk New Kids fans.

I took two blows to the kidney trying to get as close to the stage in the middle of the auditorium as I could. It was totally worth it because Donnie is fine and I’m almost positive I got the, “HEY GIRL” look from him. Anne Marie is my witness.

I lose my mind every time I hear Grown Man. I would take Donnie’s Grown Man all day long. (Sorry Lord.) And while I’m talking about it, does anyone know what they’re saying at the beginning and end of that song? It sounds like, “Yo, check out Adidas pants.” And while that is what I sing, I’m pretty sure that’s not what they’re saying.

I almost wish that I could go on the New Kids cruise. Not so much so that I could hem Donnie up in a dark corner, but more so because I know that the tomfoolery and debauchery that is going to ensue is going to be the stuff that legends are made of. I’m pretty sure one of the readers is going. Please take LOTS of pictures and email them to us IMMEDIATELY upon your return.

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