Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Miss Independent- Toya

To every man that said I am too independent, too headstrong and too intimidating, you have no idea. It's on. I mean, you may catch me at the J. Crew outlet, it's so on.


I screamed that at the top of my lungs last night when it was announced that Barack Obama is our next president.  I will shame the devil and tell you all the truth: I am more excited about Michelle Obama being the first black First Lady than I am about Barack Obama being the first minority president (I know people like to call him the first black president but he's got a mama too, I'm just saying). Michelle Obama is the first black First Lady.  I cannot stop smiling. It's like having Claire Huxtable in the White House!

Ever since I was a little girl, my view of my ideal marriage was that I would marry a pastor, politician, or someone that heavily influenced and richly blessed the world.  It has always been my heart that our marriage would be an example and a contributing and changing force to the planet. However, I can't wait for him in order for me to contribute to the world. To quote Ne-Yo again, I am a movement by myself but I'll be a force when we're together. 

Author Shellie R. Warren wrote that her mother told her that God will give you a mate for where you are going.  I remember reading an interview with Jill Scott where she said that she and her ex-husband were on one accord when they were both in the beginning of their careers and on the grind.  However, when she rose to the top, they couldn't make it work.  That was not the Jill Scott that he could be in union with.  Ooooooooh that cannot be my testimony! 

Tia and I were at a bar last night with some friends watching the election results when two black women came up, hugged us, and then we shared our excitement.  As they left I yelled, "Love you! Black women, DATE UP! Michelle in '08!"  Sometimes as single women, we love to see and nurture the potential in men. We are so good at that.   What I have learned the hard way is that it is one thing to believe in a man's potential and to lovingly support him and another to be his mama. See his mama will love him and stand by him no matter what as is.  Where I have gone wrong in the past is to spot potential in a man and want to see him succeed more than he does. This is what happened with Mark (see "Let It Go" from 2005). We would always talk about the calling on his life and I always believed that he was destined for greatness. However we always clashed because he felt that I expected too much from him. I only expected from him what I knew he was capable of. He just wouldn't set those standards for himself. I cannot be with someone and accept them deciding to willingly live their life so far beneath their potential. That holds ME back and I am not having that. 

I love that Michelle and Barack Obama are a team.  He knew what he was doing and where he wanted to go when he chose her. 

I just cannot stop smiling.  Off to buy today's paper...

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