I usually don't pay a lot of attention to the stereotypes of black women that are portrayed in the media. From rap music to movies BW have gotten the short end of the stick. And while we can blame the artists, we must also hold the people behind the artists responsible. I don't expect a white man in Hollywood or at some record label to care about uplifting me as a BW. The only color most of those men see is GREEN. And they don't care at whose expense it comes. I've long since stop looking for rappers to say ANYTHING uplifting about BW. With a few notable exceptions (HEY COMMON) my expectations are low and constantly being lowered. (I'm waiting for the day when they hit NIL.)
But there are just some people you don't expect to hear say certain things. And when you do, you find yourself being a bit shocked. Even though it's something you heard or something that's been implied for decades.
I was recently watching Chris Rocks' current HBO special, Kill The Messenger. Now while it was nothing close to being as funny Bring the Pain (which I know by heart) it started off really funny. But as the subject of race relations came up, his words went from funny to downright offensive.
The long and the short of is that according to Chris Rock, BW are unmarriable, not suitable to be in a position of power and not at all what black men want. His "bit" made comments about the level of attitude black women have and how it would prevent a black woman from playing a support role if a black man were president. (Awesome in the year of Obama.) He also spoke of how black men don't want black women but would rather have white women. (Again AWESOME) And by awesome I meat SITCHOASSDOWN!!!
I really won't go into further detail. If you have HBO on Demand you can watch it for yourself. But my point is this: As BW we have enough to deal with in society without one of own, who before seemed to champion our race, tearing us down. And in THREE different countries no less. (His performance was taken from shows filmed in London, South Africa and New York.) His level of disrespect at the expense of his own race was embarrassing and painful. And it was all for a laugh. And it's his attitude that makes me unapologetic for not having dated a black man since college. Though I love and admire my black brothas, I make no apologies for the choices that I've made in love. I walk proudly with my pigmently challenged boyfriend on my arm.
For so long black women have had to be the cornerstones of family and tradition, only to be taken for granted and marginalized by outsiders and, more painfully, by some from within. Yet, when we seek love from other races because we've been unsuccessful in finding it amongst our own we're darn near demonized and labeled every sort of "sell out" imaginable. I just don't understand the logic. If we're to believe the media, BW are simultaneously too much and not enough.
Sorry but I'm not buying it.
I'm sure my rant may seem a bit non sequitur (or is nonsensical a better choice...whatever.) The fact of the matter for me is this: I love who I love, regardless of race. I'm PROUD AS HELL to be a black woman. And if Chris Rock or any other man regardless of race has a problem with it then it's on them. Their hangups won't stop me from being happy to be me and finding the floppy haired blue-eyed boy of my dreams.
And random aside: Did anyone else know that Michelle from Destiny's Child used to be engaged to a white guy?
She said after they broke up she had to go to God to help her because she was so heartbroken. When did all of this occur????