Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Cool Relax- Toya
Jon B.  *sigh* Say what you will (and I have said plenty based on how he acted a fool when I saw him in concert), Jon B. is consistent with the slow jams.  And for that, he is my dude.

I was just looking at our feeder on the right and seeing how people have found our site recently.  One of the searches were for "he may not come when you want him".  I clicked it on and was directed to a post that I wrote exactly one year ago yesterday about how I was homeless for a good 12 hours before I found the place I am living in now. I remember being challenged to dream really big and ask God for something that I thought would take a lot and that was for me to not only have the courage to live by myself but the means. He came through.  Now I am sitting here waiting on another blessing and that is a job that is not JUST a job.  I have never doubted that God will come through but I think if you are a believer/Christian/Follower of the Way it is important to remember that we should not doubt the faithfulness of God because we are imperfect. I don't think anyone is blessed according to their own righteousness. If that was the case, I would be living in a cardboard box and someone currently living in a cardboard box would be living in my house right now.  

I haven't panicked but I don't feel that I have really taken the time to talk to God about this at all.  I have just been trying to either keep it moving or avoid it all together which is why these first three days of being unemployed has seemed like a week. I haven't sat down to plan anything or receive any sort of direction.  It's been sort of a whirlwind.  For the most part, I am spending the day cleaning because it doesn't even look like a woman lives here. Yes, I am a little concerned about how responsible I will be/have been with my money. Not worried, just cautious.  I have a feeling that whatever is next is not going to be a regular 9-5 because right before I was unexpectedly laid off, I was dreading the 9-5.  All that to say, I am still excited about the possibilities but I think I have been getting a little ahead of myself.  I need a few days to get my bearings and listen.

Hmm... listen.

I think I will go into the bathroom now and do my best Beyonce' impression with a hairbrush in one hand and some raw emotion hand gestures with the other.  I mean, it's not like I don't have the time.

"I am a-lone at a cross roads/I'm all alone in my own home" (insert fist pull down here)...

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