Friday, October 31, 2008

I believe that children are the future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.-Toya

FINALLY something I can get behind. I swear if I see one more child booty poppin, droppin' it like it's hot or grindin' like a grown woman in a Luke video, I may never stop crying.  For full version of the song with the entire class, click here.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

No caption needed. "Click, click, click" for a closeup of how far up Donnie is in Tia's mouth. Could he be more obvious?.-Toya
Follow BGLU on Twitter!-Toya

I surprised Tia twice today. A) I had a good friend of mine (thanks Liz) put us on Twitter and B) I met her in Atlanta for the New Kids on the Block show (I have been laid off still with no job and a whole lot more free time now) and got us backstage to the meet and greet. I don't know why Tia's Twittering didn't work in her box but if you scroll up mine, you can see my comments throughout the night. I will be blogging about the show shortly but I just got in and it's 4 am.  I am looking forward to some VERY nice dreams, particularly of Danny Wood in white. Say what you want, he looks good yall.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

I Love You Levi Stubbs-Toya

I cried this morning when I found out that Levi Stubbs died yesterday. So many of my musical memories include The Four Tops' music. I have been working part time in retail and it's funny how just the other day I was thinking about Levi's voice and how powerful it was. "Bernadette" made me want to change my first name.

How in the world did we go from "Sugar Pie Honey Bunch" to "Bust It Baby"? ANYONE????

Save the children and dust off your records.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Yes...More Chris Brown - Tia

Okay, I know Chris Brown is 13 1/2 years old. I get that. But I love him. I would adopt him in a second and take him sneaker shopping if I could. That being said, I am WAY excited about his new video, Superhuman. My friend Steve sent me the track over the summer and I have played it pretty much everyday since I go it.

And yes, I'm aware that it's just No Air part II. So what?

The video is good enough. It's not super impressive or anything. It's cute for what it is. I had a completely different treatment in my head, but since no one called to ask me about it I guess it's a moot point.

Anyway, I guess a more accurate statement would have been I'm WAY excited that there is a video for Superhuman. That way more people can fall in love with the song as I have.

I mean, okay...- Tia
The public outcry for Pharrell skateboarding was so loud that I had to go digging through the interweb to find a picture. But can I just say it was harder than it sounds. As many times as we have seen Pharrell with a deck in hand, there weren't that many pictures of him actually on a skateboard.

There was the before he was famous picture....
Film is forever...Remember that.

And this picture was on every other site
...and for good reason.

But an actual picture of him on a skateboard was not easy to come by.

However, since I love you. Here you go:
I still like Chris Brown though. But not in a pervy way, since I'm old enough to be his mom. But in the awww, I hope he does well, I love a positive black brotha doing things kind of way. But if I were 5-6 years younger it would probably be in the pervy way.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

First Common surfing... - Tia

Then Chris Brown skateboarding.

Yes, yes, Lord, AMEN!!!
And to all a goodnight.
Hateration, Holleration in This Dancery- Toya

Oh Common SURFS now? Seriously???!!!! 

I really, really want to be happy for Serena Williams.  I really do.  I just can't seem to find it in me.  I'm sorry. Oh the injustice...

Monday, October 13, 2008

My Soul (and Stomach) Says Yes- Toya

What I like so much about Chef G. Garvin is that it's almost like you have LL Cool J, tatts, biceps and all, in the kitchen cooking for you. With this I find no fault. He is so hot! I am missing cable so badly but it's with good reason I don't have it. I don't think I would get anything done during one of TV One's "Turn Up the Heat with G. Garvin" marathons. 

Check out for news on his TV show and new cookbook coming out soon.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Sixteen Things About Me - Tia

So I stole this from Nate my favorite friend that I've never met.

I should be working on stuff for work, getting ready for my day tomorrow. But for some reason I can't seem to get focused. So instead you get some random information about me.

4 Things I Did Today
1. I sat around all morning in my underwear. I didn't go to church. I didn't do much of anything. I just sat on the couch and...

2. watched The Butterfly Effect with Ashton Kutcher. Can I just say it's one of the dumbest movies I think I've most recently seen. Don't get me wrong, Ashton is a fine man. Demi did the thang. But I just can't get behind that movie. And I usually love a bad movie.

3. I had a conversation with a girl for 30 minutes on the phone and I'm not 100% positive who it was. Someone called me from the area code that my mom lives in. The call came as I was walking through security at the airport so I couldn't take it. Once I got to a place when I could sit down, I called the number back, thinking it was my mom's new number. Whoever it was was so happy to hear from me that I didn't have the heart to tell her that I hadn't checked my voicemail and didn't know who I was talking to. After a few minutes and some revealing details I think I figured out who I was talking to. But I STILL haven't check my voicemail so I'm still not 100% sure.

Is that bad?

4. I watched last Thursday's episode of The Office for the 3rd time. I am such a nerd, so the "Dumbledore Calrissian" comment almost killed me. (Just so you know it's a Harry Potter and a Star Wars reference.) Jim is HAHALARIOUS in the episode. If you haven't seen it, PLEASE go watch it immediately.

4 Things on My To Do List
1. Run a 10-12 minute mile. I'm working on least I was until I started battling this incessant cold thingie.

2. Learn Spanish, French and German. While I'm aware that those are technically 3 things, it seemed rather lazy to list all of them individually.

3. Buy the Time and Chance album by Color Me Badd.
I used to have it but I can't find it anymore. Sleep on it if you want. But between Rosanna's Little Sister and Choose that cd is the business.

4. Find a 4th thing to put on my to-do list.

4 of My Guilty Pleasures
1. Really Crappy movies.
I will watch a really bad movie in a minute. Killer Klowns from Outer Space, Deep Blue Sea, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Mindhunters...I've seen them all multiple times. I will watch a bad movie in a heartbeat. But for some reason I can't tolerate a dumb movie. By that I mean, if a movie has a plot that makes some kind of sense but it's just acted poorly, I'm okay with that. But if the movie is bad and there are plot holes, I just can't get behind it.

2. Facebook
I know that Nate said that but it's true for me also. I check it every hour on the hour...from my phone, from my laptop....And the thing about it is I don't ever have enough updates to necessitate how often I check it. Does that stop me...Of course not.

3. British Anything
I will watch, listen to, read anything that is remotely British. Sometimes it pays off (Guy Ritchie movies, Pride and Prejudice, Colin Firth) sometimes it doesn't (Little Britain USA..just not funny to me.)

4. Ugg Boots
I have a pair that I seriously have worn every day for about a week. They're not the standard Uggs, they have a shape to them. But did I need to wear them every But I love them and they're comfy so I'm wearing them. Plus, I had to go through a lot of trouble to get them. It would hurt their feelings if I just left them in the box all of the time.

4 Random Facts About Me
1. Airplanes are like sedatives to me
Without fail almost the minute that I sit down on a plane and get situated I'm asleep. I try to stay awake but it's no use. Before they get to the point about not smoking and how to work the seat belt, I am K'Oed. I once woke up on a flight and heard the teenager boys behind me asking each other, "How did she do that?"Apparently, I had fallen asleep so fast they thought I might have been drugged or something.

2. When I was little I used to think I was a princess
Not like all little girls think that they're princesses, but truly, my parents are royalty, I'm rich and have a castle somewhere princess. My middle name means beautiful princess in Swahili. But the piece de resistance is the birthmark on my leg. It's shaped like a crescent moon and I would look at it all of time and hope on top of hope that my real family would come for me and take me away to my castle with ponies and personal chefs and English servants.

3. Of all of the guys from Entourage Turtle is the one I like the most. Everybody is usually all about Vinnie, but not me. It's Turtle. I mean, after my boyfriend Jeremy Piven of course.

4. Sometimes I wish I stayed in LA.

I'm supposed to tag 4 people with this, but this took way longer than I thought and I would kind of feel bad asking someone else to do this. But if you feel so inclined you can put some random facts about yourself in the comments. It's not like we don't love finding out more about our readers.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Enjoy the Silence- Toya
Anberlin, who has a brand new album out by the way, covered this Depeche Mode song on one of their albums.  I hope Stephen hasn't noticed that there has been considerably less blogging about our favorite band since he got married. It is purely best...I guess.

The email below is an email that I sent to some friends of mine earlier today but I decided to share it with all of you. Hope you are encouraged by it.

Yes, I am still up. I don't have a job yet remember? The days just run together now.

I don't know if you read or have read Utmost for His Highest but this was timely.  It's that 2 month mark until my birthday now and I didn't figure that out by the calendar but by me asking "Ok God, I did really good this year (considering). I grew ALOT this year soooooo....where is he?" I have asked this same question this time of year for years. As if me coming closer to perfection (BIG LAUGH) has anything to do with me finally meeting my best friend and falling in love. Marriage is not some sort of prize that comes to the most righteous.

I have been getting silence. I mean DEAD silence without even the sound of rolling tumbleweeds.  No wait, be patient, just silence. It's crazy because I feel like I get an answer for everything else. All that to say, today's devotional shed some light for me today...Saturday, at 2 am.  Wow.

My Utmost for His Highest - October 11

Title: After God's Silence - What?

Key Verse: When He had heard therefore that he was sick, He abode two days
in the same place where he was.

Click link below to study this verse: John 11:6

Has God trusted you with a silence - a silence that is big with meaning?
God's silences are His answers. Think of those days of absolute silence in
the home at Bethany! Is there anything analogous to those days in your
life? Can God trust you like that, or are you still asking for a visible
answer? God will give you the blessings you ask if you will not go any
further without them; but His silence is the sign that He is bringing you
into a marvellous understanding of Himself. Are you mourning before God
because you have not had an audible response? You will find that God has
trusted you in the most intimate way possible, with an absolute silence,
not of despair, but of pleasure, because He saw that you could stand a
bigger revelation. If God has given you a silence, praise Him, He is
bringing you into the great run of His purposes. The manifestation of the
answer in time is a matter of God's sovereignty. Time is nothing to God.
For a while you said - "I asked God to give me bread, and He gave me a
stone." He did not, and to-day you find He gave you the bread of life.

 A wonderful thing about God's silence is that the contagion of His
stillness gets into you and you become perfectly confident - "I know God
has heard me." His silence is the proof that He has. As long as you have
the idea that God will bless you in answer to prayer, He will do it, but
He will never give you the grace of silence. If Jesus Christ is bringing
you into the understanding that prayer is for the glorifying of His
Father, He will give you the first sign of His intimacy - silence.

Thursday, October 9, 2008


That is what I said when I  (A) Saw this picture of House of Payne's Lance Gross  and (B) did an age check on him cause I swore he was about 19.  Yall know I love the kids but not THAT much. I have been waiting to reveal my umm...appreciation for Mr. Gross after I did a good age check. Turns out he is 27 which means he has made the cutoff and I am SO glad because good googa mooga magoo he is all kinds of fine. 

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

I mean this is information I need
Eye Candy - Tia

I am a super nerd. I love a murder mystery, crime scene investigator, first 48, cold case type show. I will watch any one of the above referenced with shows with rapt attention. I love CSI:Miami (Horatio be killing y'all with those sunglasses and the one-liners.) And I'm also a fan of the original CSI (my brother MADE me watch it over Christmas to prove to me that Grissom was a better team lead than Horatio. Told you I was I nerd.) But I figure you've got to draw the line somewhere, other wise you find yourself watching CSI: Paducah, KY. So I never really paid attention to the other CSI in New York. CHILD....I wish someone had said something.

As you know, I've been battling some sort of cold thing. I seriously haven't had a cold in so long I wasn't even sure what I should take. I couldn't remember what really worked and what didn't. Anyway, when you're sick you spend a lot of time in bed. You can either read, sleep or watch television. Yeah, I did all of those. And on one particular evening I found myself watching CSI:New York. Why you ask...because the eye candy that ran across the screen in the first 10 minutes was darn near criminal.

First there was Carmine:

Seriously?!?!?! Carmine?!?!?!? That just SOUNDS like the kind I like. You know those Italian boys are the business.

Then Hill Harper showed up:

YES LORD YES!!!!! I love an educated brotha. I straight STAN for a fine educated brotha. I can look at Hill and tell he is not all that tall. And frankly, I couldn't care less. I would kick it with him so fast. I mean, he makes a sistah want to LEARN.

And then here he came:

One word: TAG

This is information I needed. I would have been watching this show all along. Eye candy that also appeals to my nerdy sensibilities..? How can I not love that
Cool Relax- Toya
Jon B.  *sigh* Say what you will (and I have said plenty based on how he acted a fool when I saw him in concert), Jon B. is consistent with the slow jams.  And for that, he is my dude.

I was just looking at our feeder on the right and seeing how people have found our site recently.  One of the searches were for "he may not come when you want him".  I clicked it on and was directed to a post that I wrote exactly one year ago yesterday about how I was homeless for a good 12 hours before I found the place I am living in now. I remember being challenged to dream really big and ask God for something that I thought would take a lot and that was for me to not only have the courage to live by myself but the means. He came through.  Now I am sitting here waiting on another blessing and that is a job that is not JUST a job.  I have never doubted that God will come through but I think if you are a believer/Christian/Follower of the Way it is important to remember that we should not doubt the faithfulness of God because we are imperfect. I don't think anyone is blessed according to their own righteousness. If that was the case, I would be living in a cardboard box and someone currently living in a cardboard box would be living in my house right now.  

I haven't panicked but I don't feel that I have really taken the time to talk to God about this at all.  I have just been trying to either keep it moving or avoid it all together which is why these first three days of being unemployed has seemed like a week. I haven't sat down to plan anything or receive any sort of direction.  It's been sort of a whirlwind.  For the most part, I am spending the day cleaning because it doesn't even look like a woman lives here. Yes, I am a little concerned about how responsible I will be/have been with my money. Not worried, just cautious.  I have a feeling that whatever is next is not going to be a regular 9-5 because right before I was unexpectedly laid off, I was dreading the 9-5.  All that to say, I am still excited about the possibilities but I think I have been getting a little ahead of myself.  I need a few days to get my bearings and listen.

Hmm... listen.

I think I will go into the bathroom now and do my best Beyonce' impression with a hairbrush in one hand and some raw emotion hand gestures with the other.  I mean, it's not like I don't have the time.

"I am a-lone at a cross roads/I'm all alone in my own home" (insert fist pull down here)...

I'm sorry... - Tia

...but did John McCain actually make a reference to "gold plated cadillacs" AND call SENATOR Obama "that one?"
Am I being too sensitive or is "that one" a 1/4 of a step up from "you people?"
Politics are DIRTY!!!!

Mary Mary's "Get Up"- Toya

I could cry, I needed this song so badly.

Now that I have been laid off, it was my intent to live this week as if I was living my dream career as if I was already doing it. Cramps have been kicking my butt along with some wrong planning. It's almost noon and I am STILL in the bed. I have so much to do and I think I just got overwhelmed thinking about it all. Well, I heard this song that I swore was the new Brandy (the new Brandy is a-ight. Glad she is back though) and now I am so excited to just go for it. Hope it encourages you too.

Monday, October 6, 2008


I guess I know what I'll be doing during some of this layoff time...

I"m Through with White Girls Trailer

You, Me, and He- Toya
I am pretty sure Mtume sang this song. There is nothing like 80's R&B...unfortunately.

Last night I read  this article on that came from Oprah's website about reasons, besides sex, that some men cheat. 

From the article:  Gary says the other woman often makes the man feel better about himself."[She] makes them feel different. Makes them feel appreciated, admired," he says. "Men look strong, look powerful and capable. But on the inside, they're insecure like everybody else. They're searching and looking for somebody to build them up to make them feel valued."

Recently I made a declaration that I no longer would make myself so available to my guy friends that say that they need me.  This came after Tag 3.0 started inquiring why I was so busy all of the time and complaining that he couldn't reach me like he wanted to because I was doing some everyday things like, oh I don't know, WORKING during the day?  You know, inconsequential things.  This really started to bug me because it was reminiscent of behavior of not just the Tags before him but other guys I have had in my life since high school.  I have had guys say that they need me, wouldn't be who they were without me and that they are better men because we have been friends. So much better that now they are able to go out and find a girl a whole lot like me.  The trouble is, they find this girl but still can't seem to find in her what they find in me so they try with all of their might to keep us both.  I like to call this kind of behavior "Outsourcing": they do the fun, romantic stuff with the girlfriends and then come back to me where they can be their truly insecure selves and be told that they are the greatest thing since sliced bread. So basically what I gathered from this article is that this makes us both EMOTIONAL CHEATERS.  

Yes, I'd like to take "Hell No" for $600, Alex.

There are some relationships that are just too close for comfort.  These are usually the ones where the guy gets married or gets serious about another girl and people are coming to you like, "Wait, I could've sworn you two..." and you sit there telling these people that the thought of you actually being involved is ludicrous because he's like your brother. Yeah, ok. What I've found in my own personal life is that these men needing me but not desiring me had taken a toll on my self esteem. It is not that I am incapable of having platonic relationships with men. It's that I sincerely do not want to be needed so much by a man that cannot reciprocate the love that I give.  See the fact is not just that those I have allowed in my space won't reciprocate but some of them really can't and that's fine.  I can't wait for them to set boundaries while I allow myself to be an emotional whore. I told Tag a few months back that we could not be friends anymore because he would continue to drain me and I would continue to let him. I have shut the faucet on emotional drainage and it feels REALLY good. 

Let me explain what I mean by needy. The neediness that I have allowed in my life ( I take full responsibility for all of this) consists of numerous things: everyday phone calls, impatient voice messages when I don't pick up, questioning who I am with and when I will be back, showing up to where I am because they haven't seen me in a while even though I am hanging with other people, cutting me off when I try to talk about my day so they can talk about their day after they asked me about my day, phoning then texting then Facebooking then texting again, begging me to listen to their demos/read their manuscripts/listen to their ideas at times where it is most inconvenient for me (like my birthday party), flattering me to get their way, acting territorial and physically clingy in public, finding lame excuses disguised as "emergencies" to talk to me when I say I am busy or need space, acting interested in me if someone else acts interested in me but pulling away once the coast is clear, asking me out on a date and then talking to me about why we need to be in business together, and on and on and on. I mean, I could list this bullshishery all day long. Again, I allowed this. I can't blame them but I can stop them.  

One night I had dinner with one of my needy boys and it was the one of the most romantically platonic dinners I have ever had.  I came home and sat indian style on my bed and began to pray out loud.  "Lord, I am so tired. I mean, I am really done with these Almost Doesn't Count relationships.  I am so glad that I can come to you and talk about everything because not only are you concerned about my problems but you actually desire to spend time with me." Those words hit me like a ton of bricks. So much so that I said them over and over and over again.

"You DESIRE to spend time with ME."

When it occurred to me that God loves when I take the time to spend with Him not out of obligation but because I just want to, I was overwhelmed and began to cry.  When I realized that my relationship with Him is the only one I don't have to guard my heart against or fear that I would get too close in, I lost it. Is it the same as having a boyfriend? No. Jesus is not holding my hand in the movies. I know that and He does as well. What I am saying is that the love, the understanding and the acceptance that I so longed for has been there all along. I choose now to lavish praise and appreciation on God.  He doesn't hang around me because I make Him feel like He can do anything in the world. He would love me regardless. He has. 

So I encourage everyone to take a good inventory of their friendships. If you come away feeling used, there is a problem. If you are using these types of friendship with men to fill a void because you aren't with anyone and are lonely, I have news for you: you will come away each and every time feeling more and more empty.  I know pulling away to spend time alone while lonely sounds like an odd remedy but it really has worked for me. One way to ensure that you have healthy relationships in the future is to get healthy first.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

I'm sick - Tia
I have a cold for the first time in a long time. And I'm currently surfing the blogsphere and such because you can only take so many naps when you're sick. And can I just say cold medicine is a trip. I see why they keep some of it behind the counter. I'm almost loopy right now.

I came across this picture on the interweb and I thought she was amazing.
She is so beautiful. I don't give a damn what Chris Rock or anyone else says. There is nothing in this world like a strong, beautiful black woman. Ladies, always remember that you're not too much to handle. You are MORE than enough. Be happy to be you.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Throwback Video of the Moment - Tia

So I'm wasting time on a Friday watching VH1's Top 100 Hip Hop songs of all time. There are some songs that I personally don't think should be on the list (Anything by 2 Live Crew for instance) but there are some that are really taking me back and making me realize why I used to love hip-hop and still hold a torch for it. I mean, I just saw a L'Trimm video and they're currently talking about Treat 'Em Right by Chubb Rock. They have been talking about everything from the socially conscious stuff to the fun stuff. I think today is going to be a good day.

I about lost my mind when Definition came on. You know how you almost forget about something and you see it again and it's literally like you stepped back in time... Or maybe it's just me.

And can we talk about how bummed I was that Black Star only did one album. Anyway, this song isn't for everyone. It may not move you the way it moves me. But I know some of y'all understand what I mean when I say, "1, 2, 3, It's kinda dangerous to be an MC."

Thursday, October 2, 2008

No longer a fan - Tia

I usually don't pay a lot of attention to the stereotypes of black women that are portrayed in the media. From rap music to movies BW have gotten the short end of the stick. And while we can blame the artists, we must also hold the people behind the artists responsible. I don't expect a white man in Hollywood or at some record label to care about uplifting me as a BW. The only color most of those men see is GREEN. And they don't care at whose expense it comes. I've long since stop looking for rappers to say ANYTHING uplifting about BW. With a few notable exceptions (HEY COMMON) my expectations are low and constantly being lowered. (I'm waiting for the day when they hit NIL.)

But there are just some people you don't expect to hear say certain things. And when you do, you find yourself being a bit shocked. Even though it's something you heard or something that's been implied for decades.

I was recently watching Chris Rocks' current HBO special, Kill The Messenger. Now while it was nothing close to being as funny Bring the Pain (which I know by heart) it started off really funny. But as the subject of race relations came up, his words went from funny to downright offensive.

The long and the short of is that according to Chris Rock, BW are unmarriable, not suitable to be in a position of power and not at all what black men want. His "bit" made comments about the level of attitude black women have and how it would prevent a black woman from playing a support role if a black man were president. (Awesome in the year of Obama.) He also spoke of how black men don't want black women but would rather have white women. (Again AWESOME) And by awesome I meat SITCHOASSDOWN!!!

I really won't go into further detail. If you have HBO on Demand you can watch it for yourself. But my point is this: As BW we have enough to deal with in society without one of own, who before seemed to champion our race, tearing us down. And in THREE different countries no less. (His performance was taken from shows filmed in London, South Africa and New York.) His level of disrespect at the expense of his own race was embarrassing and painful. And it was all for a laugh. And it's his attitude that makes me unapologetic for not having dated a black man since college. Though I love and admire my black brothas, I make no apologies for the choices that I've made in love. I walk proudly with my pigmently challenged boyfriend on my arm.

For so long black women have had to be the cornerstones of family and tradition, only to be taken for granted and marginalized by outsiders and, more painfully, by some from within. Yet, when we seek love from other races because we've been unsuccessful in finding it amongst our own we're darn near demonized and labeled every sort of "sell out" imaginable. I just don't understand the logic. If we're to believe the media, BW are simultaneously too much and not enough.

Sorry but I'm not buying it.

I'm sure my rant may seem a bit non sequitur (or is nonsensical a better choice...whatever.) The fact of the matter for me is this: I love who I love, regardless of race. I'm PROUD AS HELL to be a black woman. And if Chris Rock or any other man regardless of race has a problem with it then it's on them. Their hangups won't stop me from being happy to be me and finding the floppy haired blue-eyed boy of my dreams.

And random aside: Did anyone else know that Michelle from Destiny's Child used to be engaged to a white guy?

She said after they broke up she had to go to God to help her because she was so heartbroken. When did all of this occur????
I saw Adam last night - TiaHe sang a song from Stevie Wonder's Songs in the Key of Life and further cemented the fact that he is a BAD MAN.

I will be stalking him hence forth.

Oh and I don't know when it happened but Adam has a full sleeve now. Yes and AMEN.
If this doesn't make you vote ...then nothing will - Tia

I am warning you now this may not be all that suitable for your work place, your house if you've got children...this just may not be suitable period. It's not nekkidness or anything, but it's...ummm...some hotness.

Toya sent this to me by way of Nicole. (Nicole I don't know if I should thank you or shake you.) I wish there had been some sort of warning. This is RIDICULOUS. I had to watch it through my fingers to hear what she was talking about. I like the message she was trying to get across but that boy is all kinds of distracting. And if I see him in the street, I'm fighting him for, "I love this country."