Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Update on My Mom and Bet's Sunday Best Show- Toya
To all that have voted for my mother to be on BET's Sunday Best, thank you SOOO very much! She came in second place in online voting! This means that in 2 weeks we fly down to Atlanta for her to audition in front of Bebe Winans and Mary Mary. I don't know who is more nervous, her or me.
My mom is so excited but even more so in shock. Whenever anybody mentions it she says "Do you believe it? Little old me!?" This is when my jaded, overprotective, music industry side comes into play. Sure all that sweet southern flavored modesty worked for our girl Melinda Doolittle but I want my mom to own this. I don't ever want her to feel as if she doesn't deserve to compete. She doesn't have to win (she really just wants to meet Kirk Franklin and hopefully some day get on a Tyler Perry movie) but she is really looking forward to this experience. And as great of an opportunity that this can be for her, I constantly have to keep my skepticism in check. I mean it's network television, it's reality television, it's the music industry and it's MY MOTHER. I almost feel like a parent who is frightened for their child who comes to them and tells them that they have been accepted into the police academy. While taking her to the airport during her visit, I turned to her and apologized for my "We'll see" killjoy of an attitude. "Look, please understand that my skepticism is not at all a reflection of me doubting how gifted and talented you are. I hope that you know that. It's just that I am really on edge about how this industry can be and I don't want you to be disappointed." I then went on to apologize and told her that after praying about how I could change my attitude, I discovered that no matter where this may lead, all I really need to do is be supportive and enjoy this experience with her; not be Joe Jackson. So please keep my mother in prayer and while you are at it please keep me in prayer that I keep my attitude in check.
During my recent visit home to New Jersey for the holidays I met up with my childhood friend Mike. Mike and I have known each other for almost 30 years (the fact that I know anyone for 30 years is appalling to be honest). He was in a mid-thought when he stopped and suspiciously looked at me and asked “Why are YOU not married?” I know Mike’s inflections about as well as I know my own so I know what he was really trying to say. “You are wondering what am I doing in Nashville? Like I have some sort of sheisty dealings going on down there; some sort of buckwild double life maybe?” “Yeeeeeaaaaaaaaah” he replied slowly while giving me a side eye. I smiled and said “I don’t know really.” I went on to say that with me turning 34 that week, I could honestly say that I was happy that I wasn’t. I have been fortunate enough to have ran into who I thought could be The One at least 4 times proving that what you like sometimes isn’t what you need.
I used to not handle this question with such ease though. I am sure that I am not the only single woman that has felt attacked by those who ask why they are not married and then is hit with a barrage of accusations of what they must be doing wrong. I used to get very defensive when I was asked why I was not married in an effort to protect my own feelings. The accusation that used to irritate me the most was “You just gotta put yourself out there.” Now any one of my friends will tell you there aren’t too many people in this city more “out there” than I am. When my dad came to visit me, he told my mother that he was amazed at how many people knew me in Nashville. “She’s so popular! I mean, she could run for Miss Nashville she knows so many people.” I am constantly out and constantly networking and for this I get accused of being too intimidating and that I seem like I don't need anything. I don’t think I am alone when I say that feeling attacked for not being married and it being my fault can be hurtful especially when feeling attacked from someone whose opinion I value.
A few years ago, I was back at the church I grew up in and I was eager to see my pastor’s wife. I adore my pastor’s wife as she has always had this regal quality to her. I grew up in a church where she and my pastor urge women to not chase men; To love the Lord first and know that they were worth pursuing. They were also really quick to point out that desperation is ugly even for the prettiest woman. So when I walked up to her one Sunday to say hello, I was completely shocked that the first thing she asked me was “Are you engaged?” I mean, no “Hi how are you, how is your career” nothing. Startled I said no to which she replied “Well are you looking?” Even more taken aback I again replied no. By the look on her face you would’ve thought I said “Why yes I am engaged and I would like for you to meet my fiancé, Wanda Sykes.” “You’re not looking?????” she asked. Absolutely confused by where this was going I said “Well, I thought we weren’t supposed to look.” In the most condescending tone I have heard since I was six, she said “Ooohhh. You are waiting for him to find you. Well as long as he doesn’t come along and you miss him.” She then went on about her way and I stood there stuck in my tracks. I was devastated.
I was devastated because I felt lied to. I felt that what she taught us was only valid until you hit about 30. If you aren’t married by 30 then everything previously taught was null and void, so you better get to finding that man. Oh and you better look real hard because if you miss him, that’s it. There is only ONE bus. There is only ONE fish. What is that? I considered writing her a letter but my dad said her opinion shouldn’t matter that much to me. My mom wasn’t happy one bit and recently in response to what my pastor’s wife said to me almost three years ago, she did the most gangsta thing I have ever heard my mother do in my entire life.
Last month my church held their annual women’s retreat. During one of the sessions, a woman in her forties I have known for years testified about how she had put marriage on such a high pedestal in her life that it became an idol. The pressure to become married and constantly wondering what she was doing wrong had taken its toll on her. She became so desperate that she was very close to compromising a lot of her values. Now she can say that she is in a good place where being married is a desire of her heart but it doesn’t run her life in such a way that she has it on hold while waiting to be married. After she was done speaking, they went into the Q&A portion of the session. All the way in the back of the room my mother stood up but she didn’t have a question. She did however have an answer.
The way she tells it, she began by saying that on behalf of all of the married women she wanted to apologize to all of the single women for being so insensitive and pressuring us to get married. Now my mother has NEVER done this. She just recently started talking about some grandkids but she has never pressured me on being married. She soon followed her apology with “And when you see my daughter Toya, don’t you dare ask her why she isn’t married. If you are really concerned about her then you need to ask her about her life. Ask her how she is doing and not if she has a man or not. We all know that Toya could have been married seven times by now but she is doing this God’s way which is the way she was brought up.” I know that my mom was heated because she really doesn’t remember all that she said. I know when I get confrontational I have a hard time later remembering what I said. All I remember usually is the look of shock and awe on the person’s face after I come to after blacking out. Well whatever she said must have been seriously convicting because she said numerous women came up to her afterwards apologizing to her for pressuring me to get married (not including my pastor’s wife though). I am telling you, that Willie Mae is gangsta! I went to my hometown church during the holidays and not one person even said word one to me about a man.
Like I said, I am now not defensive at all when I get asked why I am not married yet. Hey it’s better than people NOT being surprised that I am not married yet. Ever hear of a woman that is kind of homely get married and someone says “Well, I guess there is somebody for everybody”? Yeah, I am alright not being that woman. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter how anyone else feels about the matter. I need to be okay with the way things are and I can honestly say that I couldn’t be more content.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
I think it's no secret that Common can say some things to me that I would no less than call the cops on someone who even attempted the same. He's just that ridiculous.
It's been quiet on this blog and as I have said before, that means that there is a lot going on and when I have a chance to write about it, ,yall we be the first (in cyberspace) to know. 2009 is going to be a serious "piss or get up off the pot" year for me.
Friday is my birthday and I should've scheduled more time by myself this week than I have. I do have a hotel booked for two nights compliments of some friends. I think I just need a morning to sit back and go "WHAT IN THE HECK WAS 2008 ABOUT?" Hopefully 2009 will give me an answer.
Merry Christmas everybody!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Well Since We are Talking About All Things N*sync...-Toya
If you are not hip to N*sync's take on K-Ci and Jo Jo's "In Love On Christmas" and are an N*sync fan, you need to be down. Personally, I am down for any Christmas song I can do a body roll too. Some may consider it sacrilege to dance to a Christmas song like it's H-Town's "Knockin' Da Boots" but that's not my problem. Enjoy.
PS. If you too appreciate a good Christmas slow jam, I highly recommend Boyz II Men's "Christmas Interpretations" album. It's the best of all time in my opinion.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
If JC Chasez does not come out with some quality hits soon, I swear I'm going to FIGHT him directly in his eye.
This is my joint. People slept on JC's first album. It took about 3 years to fully grow on me and I'm a fan of his. But this Dear Goodbye was always my joint.
JC, you walk up and down the street all day playing. Ain't nobody playing here but you. (Sorry. I was watching clips from Friday earlier.)
So here's the thing. I think Christopher Cross' Sailing is one of the best songs EVER written. And I do mean EVER. I think Toya describes it perfectly when she says, "It actually SOUNDS like what it's. It sounds like Sailing."
I remember how excited I would get when this song would come on the radio. One afternoon at the tender age of about five I figured out how to work the tape recorder and taped it off the radio and listened to it over and over. I LOVED this song.
I'm usually not a fan of remakes. But Nsync KILT this song. That 5 part harmony is SICK SICK SICK. And (here's where the sacrilege comes in) I actually think I like their version a little bit better than the original. It's not much more. Just a smidge really. It's like Nsync's is in 1st place and Christopher Cross' version is in 1st and 1/2 place. (I KNOW that makes no sense. Just run with it.)
Avant took it upon himself remake this song. I don't hate it but he's no Christopher Cross. You can listen to it here.
There's not too much that needs to be done to the song. And it would take a whole lot to screw it up. Christopher Cross is a genius. Don't even get me started on Ride Like The Wind.
(If you were born after about '83 Christopher Cross is probably lost on you.)
Thursday, December 4, 2008
predictive text so my fault for the typos.
Once again I have met the most amazing guy. We have TOO much in
common. He's tall. He loves Jesus. He loves kids. He's leaving for
grad school in MA in January.
What the hell?
I'm so over meeting these fantastic guys...with a catch. This guy was
amazing. His only flaw was that he's a North Carolina fan. But that's
fixable. He laughed at all my stupid jokes. He didn't make me feel
stupid when I made a mildly inappropriate joke. He even got me
something to drink even though his boy called him whipped for doing
I'm tired and it's way late. I just needed to vent.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
Angel Taylor News
Beyonce pretty much had the best performance last night at the AMAs. She shut it all the way down. I mean, she even had the middle aged white women (3:38) dancing along.
She's a bad broad. I'm still not buying her cd though. I've listened to it a couple of times. I'm not really feeling it. But this performance was enough to get my $.99 on iTunes.
One thing though, did the ponytail holding up at the end mean anything? You know I'm not up on what's hip these days. So I didn't know if she was making a statement or just being different or whatever...
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Annie Lennox is THE BUSINESS!!
That is all.
- Christina Aguilera can sing and she can also OVERSING. Holy crap man, how many riffs does ONE song need? I am loving the medley of her catalog though. I'll admit it, I'm a fan. Not a super fan, but a fan. I've got a couple of her cds and know most of her singles. OOOOH...that Ain't No Other Man is my JOINT. I know that WHOLE song, inflictions, key changes.....everything.
And she is just bound and determined to hold on to that red lipstick, huh? I mean....I guess. If that's what she likes.
- "Christina Aguilera had a baby and Mariah Carey married one." RAHAHAHAHAHAHA
- David Archeleta still annoys me. Sorry Toya.
- Jamie Foxx is apparently about to introduce Ne-Yo. I mean, after he shamelessly plugs his album. Oh....well I guess he's NOT inroducing Ne-Yo.
- Jimmy Kimmel is boring me. And I think I dislike him for the company he keeps.
- OOOHH...New Kids...Let's see how it goes.
Donnie can still get it. They seem a little off tonight. Let's see if this version of DD will make up for the video. Jon is FINE.
Well, the performance was okay. It started off real special, but they recovered at the end with the help of that high note from Jordan. But they were A LOT better when we saw them in concert.
- How high is Scott Weiland? Or maybe drunk? He is intoxicated in some way.
- This Pink song is cute but it's not nearly as catchy as So What. Plus she didn't call anyone a tool. I'm sorry, but that's such a funny insult to me. A tool? That's like saying, "You're such a hammer." RHAHAHAHAHAHA
- I don't understand Taylor Swift's appeal. She's not that great of a singer. And if we're picking blond country singers Carrie Underwood gets my vote. But that Taylor girl just seems like that angst ridden teen who's just angst-y enough to be annoying.
- Lance Bass needs to stop playing. That's all I'm going to say.
- I LOVE Rascal Flatts. I really do. I have a couple of their cds.
- Ne-Yo always renews my ever dwindling hope in R&B. And I love that he is such a performer. A lot of people are artists but not performers or vice versa. He is one of the few who is both.
- I don't hate Nickelback. I actually like some of their songs.
- Let's see what Kanye has to say.
He is so long winded.
- And I didn't know that Jesse McCartney co-wrote Bleeding Love. That child is PAID because that song played everywhere for MONTHS.
- I LOVE this Leona Lewis song. I DON'T love the interpretive dancers. They seem unnecessary.
I really forget how well Leona Lewis can sing until she hits that unexpected high note with amazing control.
- Why am I yawning already?
- Billy Rae has come a long way from his Achy Breaky mullet days.
- I don't hate this Miley Cyrus song.
Did the dancers in white draw the short straws?
"You guys get to dress as the billboard behind Miley." "Ummm...what??"
- I didn't know Garth Brooks put anything out this year. I like Garth Brooks. I need to get his box set from Wal-Mart.
- Holy fake birthday moment, Batman. You shouldn't be able to hear the producer telling the birthday girl to blow out her candles. You also shouldn't be able to hear him telling her friends to hug her. They shouldn't have to be told. Is nothing in Hollywood real?
- I know the clean-up crew wants to beat Chris Martin's a$$ for all of that confetti. It's all fun and games until you have to clean it up. And what about the people that have to perform after you? The janitors should just walk out there and hand them all brooms when they finish singing.
- Umm....who knew Colbie Calliat was that banging...? Good 'head Girl!!
- Alicia Keys is GORGEOUS!!!
- Did you see the janitor almost run out there? I'm telling you, they need to hand those brooms to Chris and the boys.
- I'm basically only still watching because I want to see Bouncy...Beyonce.
- Ooohh....I love Kate Walsh's haircut. If I hadn't spend the last few months growing my hair out I would cut mine like that.
- The Jonas Brothers are cute.
- Why is The Dream hating on the Jonas Brother? Sityoassdown!! We don't even know who you are.
- Oh shoot..Beyonce. Say what you want about the girl, Beyonce is a BAD BROAD.
And I like the United Colors of Benetton dancers she used.
Okay, I'm going to leave the awards on in the background but I've pretty much seen everything I wanted to see. So I'm out.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
I SINCERELY don't understand why they thought the concept of this video was a good idea. I ALSO don't understand how they thought that even though this video was shot for the German market it wouldn't make its way over here to be clowned accordingly. I have no idea what the dialogue in the beginning is saying as I only took one semester of German when I was 11. But I know Grade A government cheese when I see it. And the most baffling thing of all is how they convinced Danny to do this video. I wonder how drunk he was when they shot the video. Or did they threaten to take his tour money away unless he did this...? All I know is that he didn't do this willfully or of his own volition.
I'm so disappointed.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Keep HOPE Alive in 2008! Vote Willie Mae!- Toya
Saturday, November 15, 2008
You Should Know: B. Reith- Toya
B. Reith "Awestruck"- Gotee Records
One of my friends asked me if I had seen B. Reith's new "Awestruck" video and I told her that I hadn't yet. She said, "I don't know how the girl in the video could stand there while he sang that close to her." I soon started shaking my head and gave her the same response I give every woman when they start talking about B. Reith.
"That's a man of God right there".
This is my automated response whenever any of my female friends goes into how fine they think B. Reith is. It's not in defense of him for he needs no defense but because something in me will not allow me to say anything remotely sideways about this man. For those that have read this blog long enough, you know I always have PLENTY of borderline inappropriate things to say about some good looking guys(I had to repent after American Idol was over because of all those things I said about David Cook) so this may comes as a shock. I respect B. Reith so much and to be honest, I have no idea why. Like, I don't even think I could say he is good looking out loud. I would probably say, umm, he is not hard to look...he is pleasant on the ey...maytheLordGodblesshimrealgood, see, I can't.
The first time I saw B. Reith perform I had already heard about him for about 3 years. He performed after some friends of mine. I went to take my seat front row center. As he went into his first song I looked at my friends who were sitting behind me and took my chair, turned it away from the stage and sat indian style with my back to the stage in protest. "Uh uh. No. Are you kidding me? I really can't receive this man singing about Jesus with him looking like that. This is an outrage. I want my money back (it was free)." But seriously, he got to "Rain Down" and I was ruined. It had nothing to do with him or what he looks like but everything to do with the sincerity and transparency in his music as he tackles such issues as giving up, love, frustration, God and more. Reminiscent of Jason Mraz, he raps, sings, plays guitar and puts on a really good show. Check him out on Toby Mac's (another one I won't talk sideways about) Winter Wonder Slam Tour this year with some of my favorites Relient K and Family Force 5 (who are BANANAS if you don't already know).
There is tons of stuff online with B. Reith on Youtube and such. I recommend you check it out because he is hilarious. Super nice, super talented, loves God and fi...see I can't even say it. May God continue to bless him.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Now see, I wanted to see Cadillac Records anyway. I love music and the film looks like it's right up my alley. BUT THEN, I saw the trailer for the movie today and noticed that Columbus Short is in it. Umm...yes please.
I LOVE him. I will watch Stomp the Yard every time it's on just so I can see him. This man needs more work.
And speaking of work, I'm going to get off this computer and go to the gym. I have done nothing for the last hour but surf the web. And sitting on the couch is not going to make my Mayercraft bathing suit fit any better.
I'm not sure if you can see the picture clearly so I will describe it. What you're looking at is what I woke up to at 4:27 this morning. Apparently some fool tried to run from the police and he got P.I.T. maneuvered right into the pole beneath my window.
There are no less than NINE cop cars outside my window and I don't think Beyonce is getting out of any of them.
I will start packing after the holidays because this is just too much.
Oh and the cops are high-fiving each other. Men are so...different. I think if I had just been in a chase and a wreck Toya would be rubbing my back as I croutched on the sidewalk. But I guess that's why I'm not a cop.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
It's Official: I have an illness.- Toya
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
If You Like It Then You Should Put THIS Ring On It- Toya
Monday, November 10, 2008
You have won the first official BGLU Hero Award for 2008. We have no trophy, no ribbon, or any tangible prize to offer you (*cough*recession*cough*) but please know that you hold a special place in BGLU's Hall of Fame.
Toya and Tia
Black Girls Like Us
Now I should probably run this by Tia before I start handing out awards but I am almost positive that she would approve of this. I FREAKING LOVE SCARLETT. I remember when I was running down the football field in high school as a pom pom girl to the marching band playing "Rock Around the Clock". Well I rocked my little show off behind all the way down the freshly rained on field pass the 50 yard line almost into the bleachers. Mud all over my uniform and I could not stop laughing. Had we had YouTube back in the day, I too would be an online celebrity.
What pissed me off is that people have been so mean to Scarlet. In her response to the haters, she says that she posted her tumble because in this day and age, we all could use a laugh. I admire that greatly. I mean, who amongst us has not put on our own Janet Jackson/Madonna/Beyonce' show in our room and swore we was KILLIN' IT!?
So Scarlet if you are reading this, I think you are an absolutely beautiful girl. I can't tell you how many times I have stopped whatever I was doing just to sing "Balance..." I love your impromptu song and I love you for giving us a reason to smile and remember to laugh at ourselves at a time when we may be taking things a little too seriously. You are awesome.
Okay I really have work to do. Oh, but how is Anthony Edwards going to be on ER? Okay, I'm out for real.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Tia: "And McCain should've come out to "You Can't Win" from The Wiz"
I mean, we are Tia and Toya. We're going to have jokes. In the same vein, this is Facebook and a lot of people are going to use their cathartic license to express how they feel in their Facebook status and a lot of people seem to be disheartened by the outcome of the election. Some have stated that they are moved to pray and fast because they feel our country may need it now more than ever. That's nice.
But back to Obama being the anti-christ. Hey, I don't know this man or his heart. What I do know is that I have never seen the hope that I see in this country, a hope that is so desperately needed. That CAN'T be a bad thing. But just like hope can be contagious, so is negativity. I pray people don't kill this hope with negativity because the election did not go the way that they would've liked. So many kids are excited and will now dream that maybe one day they too can be president. Old people are excited to see a day that they never really dreamed would ever come. And black women? I have not seen black women be this friendly to one another since the week Waiting to Exhale came out! Tia and I were at Flying Saucer with some friends and some black women came over and hugged us and we all talked about how we couldn't wait to see Michelle Obama grace the stage. Regardless of how you may feel about the Obamas, can we at least give the Lord a hand praise that little girls of any race can see an example of a strong,intelligent black woman in the White House amongst the awful stereotypes they are faced with day in and day out?
Whether it's Obama or Billy Graham in office, God gave us all free will. If you are waiting for a president to put laws in place to keep your neighbor from making some choices with dire consequences instead of showing love to your neighbor and lending your hand to show them a better way to live, who are you REALLY saying is in control? God bless America but God please have MERCY on us if we do not really begin to "be the change that we want to see in the world".
Monday, November 3, 2008
I first have to say that Donnie was ALWAYS my favorite. Jordan was cute and all. Jon always seemed a little too soft. Joey got on my nerves. And I just didn't get Danny. Oh but I GET Danny now. And Jon...HOT DAYUM, IT'S A NEW DAY. Gollydawg, he is STUPID fine. Time has been SOOOO good to him.
Anyway, Donnie was always my favorite. I won tickets to see the New Kids when I was in junior high and Donnie came and sang on the platform closest to me. At the tender age of 12 I was all in love. So you know I was excited when I found out we were going to get to go to the meet and greet.
I won't rehash what Toya has already said. I'll skip to the part that matters. I turned the corner and had to fight the urge to scream. I mean, come on. They were standing RIGHT THERE. I hugged Jordan and Danny (shorter than I thought) and then I got to Donnie. I have to be honest, my first impression was to get DIRECTLY in his mouth. I figured I could get in several good seconds of lip action before security took me down. But good sense took over and not knowing my own boundaries, I extended my hand. I didn't want to go in for the hug like I'd done with the other guys because, like I said, I was afraid I would have my tongue in his mouth before EITHER of us knew what happened.
I stuck out my hand and managed a not so feeble , "Hi." Donnie looked at me and smiled like the devil and said, "Nu-uh." He shook his head and said, "Come here" and pulled me in for a hug. My soul says YES.
Apparently we weren't moving fast enough for the handlers and the photographer because I hear, "Ladies..the picture." I honestly have no idea how long I hugged that man but apparently it was too long. So I turned to face the camera and mumbled, "My bad" because I honestly figured I was the sole person holding up the process. As I'm trying, unsuccessfully, to not get weak in the knees and not slouch for the picture, I feel Donnie lean into me and ask DIRECTLY in my ear, "Did you just say 'my bad'?"
Picture taken, I turn to him, look directly into his face and say, "Yes. Is that a problem?" (Side bar: I don't really watch or listen to anything that would be considered relevant. So "my bad" "my fault" "no worries" are still perfectly acceptable slang to me.) I was too busy falling into a trance looking all up in his face to notice that Toya and Anne Marie had walked off. I vaguely remember Toya saying something about me leaving with them....vaguely. But I was KEENLY aware that Donnie damn near had me in a headlock his arm was so tight around my shoulder. HELL YEAH.
I'm not leaving, til you're leaving.
He wouldn't let go. And hey, neither would I. Toya just kept looking at me. I looked at her and looked at him and beseeched her, "I'm just saying." Toya: "We can go." Me: pointing at Donnie with my free hand, "I'M JUST SAYING!!!" Jon is quietly cracking up on the side. Finally, I hear, "Ma'am" from someone who looks important and with the HEAVIEST of hearts I let go.
Apparently, Donnie has a type. Who knew I fell into that category...? But see here's the thing, I have a type too. And Donnie is it. It's ALWAYS been guys like him. The kind of guy who would hold you with one hand while you make out and hold his beer in the other hand. The kind of guy who, if it came to it, would brawl in the street til his knuckles bled but love the hell out of you directly after. He cleans up hella nice in a custom made suit but the minute he walks in the house he's out of his suit and into a wife beater, some fly jeans and a fitted cap. THAT is my type.
Anyway, that's my brief Donnie Walhberg story. I have to be honest, I would take his Grown Man. I'm sorry. I'm just being honest. That man is delicious. But God knows what he's doing and his grace is sufficient. So I'll just wait for my own Donnie Wahlberg to come along.
But...umm...err...ahhh...if the actual Donnie is reading and wants holla...hit up your girl Candice. She's got my number.