Sunday, September 30, 2007

Toya's Coffee Shop Musings

Right now I am at my second favorite coffee shop. It used to not even be in the running but since I am having a craptaculous weekend and they have been playing Stevie Wonder for the past 20 minutes, they are now my second favorite.

Life can pass by you quickly if you aren't focused. For instance this is allegedly my last weekend living on this side of town and I saw a park that I have never seen before in my life. I've lived in Nashville for seven years and have never been to Centennial Park outside of some event happening there. I am now realizing that I wish I had another year here. I am also realizing that ordering this strawberry italian cream soda was a bad idea. Gross!

How many of us truly know ourselves:know what makes us tick, what drives us crazy, what inspires us? I mean even down to what colors and music brightens our mood, how to best prepare for the day and what do we need to do to get motivated? Everyone is different. For instance, it is impossible for me to think clearly in the morning before I have had a shower. Well this weekend, I had been horribly depressed and distant for two days before I realized that I had trapped myself in the house threatening to pack. If I would've remembered who I was and how I operate I would've remembered that I need to be motivated into long term projects and that I need to put some Stevie on if at all possible. I can't just wake up and go. I gotta relax and prepare myself before I attack anything and I can't stay couped up in the house making myself do anything. That's just not how I'm wired.

Oh I say that I am allegedly moving because my house is still being renovated. Its a long story that I don't want to get into but my landlords are already sick of me and my badgering and I am sick of having to badger. I'm not worried, just frustrated. A girl just walked in here with a wicked black eye. I hope she won.

I am about to be alone for real. I am about to be 33 and living alone. Also because my budget has got to be serious, I can't be going out all the time anymore. My place has GOT to be the place to be. No one should be surprised if they walk into my house and find numerous teas, a few bar stools and a smoothie machine.

Still it's a bit scary for me. So right now I am going to read, relax, enjoy the sun (and Stevie) and calm the heck down. This is gonna be a good thing.

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