Saturday, September 22, 2007

Listen- Toya
Further proof that Tia and I were meant to be best friends lies in the fact that Beyonce's song "Listen" sends us into hysterics. I think it's the hairbrush in one hand and Mariah Carey song interpretation hand motions with the other while over enunciating the lyrics "I am alone at a crossroads" that makes this song so much fun to make fun of. We are so off. God help the men that promise us forever.

I am in the middle of packing and getting ready to go out tonight but I had to stop and type this blog because I was just reminded of God's goodness. One of the things that I have learned this year is that God is much closer than we think and that He is constantly speaking to us. Sometimes I can't hear Him or notice with my own eyes what He wants to get across because I am too busy daydreaming/worrying/zoning out/napping. We would rather have burning bush experiences (see the bible for the story of Moses if that reference made no sense to you. It's a good one) but I think that God wants us to know that He can speak to us in specific ways according to how unique we are. I have a few friends that have been reminded of God's omnipresence through butterflies in the most odd places. For me however, I am reminded that God sees and knows all things through songs. My Creator KNOWS His child.

If you have not been reading this blog from the beginning, you are probably not familiar with Guy A. Guy A was my first in a string of non-boyfriends I have had in Nashville. I have been blessed to be able to learn relationship lessons without actually dating anyone in a really long time. Guy A is a guy that for the most part my friends thought was feeling me based on how he treated me whenever he was around me. Because I used to have Riker's Island security around my heart, it took a while for me to warm up to him. I would pray for him to NOT show up places and he would. I would try to bounce out of church without him seeing me and I never seemed to be able to get out of his way. Well when I started to let my guard down, I soon endured one of the most embarrassing times in my life. I walked away with a broken heart and he walked away with his new wife. Awesome. For more on Guy A, you can look him up in our posts around 2004. Go into 2004 and hit Older Posts at the bottom to get the drama from the beginning.

One salty day, I decided to buy myself my favorite flower, a peach colored Gerber daisy, and sit in my car on my lunch break and mope and cry and mope some more. This was around the time Justin Timberlake's "Justified" came out, back when I was still calling him Justin Timberlake and not Your Boy and That Joker that Threw Janet Under the Bus. I sat in my car and all of the sudden these lyrics that I had heard a dozen times before suddenly struck me in a new way...

Take It From Here

Sometimes, sometimes the world gets hard
I'm gonna take it from here girl
Don't you worry
I wanna be your lake, for you babe
And any problems that you have I wanna wash 'em away
I wanna be your sky
So blue and high
And everytime you think of me I wanna blow your mind

I wanna be your air
So sweet and fair
So when you feel that you can't breathe Ma, I'll be there
I wanna be your answer, all the time
When you see how I put your life before mine with no question

When all the love feels gone and you can't carry on
Don't worry, girl I'ma take it from here
Just as sure as the sun will shine every morning, every time
Don't worry, girl, I'ma take it from here

I wanna hold your hands
Review all your plans
I wanna make sure everyone of your dreams will stand
I wanna be your broadway show on review (Why)
So I can act out how God was when he made you
I wanna be your lighthouse when you get lost
I'll be a bright and shining path to help you across
I wanna be your mother, wait
See what I see
When you see that can't nobody hold you like me
Cause I love you



Give me one reason why we should not be leaving
This world is so deceiving, the time is now
Let's fly away speeding
Through the Garden of Eden
Where all the sweet breathing of love surrounds


(I got somethin' I wanna tell ya baby)Love ain't always the way they write in books(No, no)
See there's the good guys And also heartbreak crooks
Your hearts the real boo
Just take a look outside
Cause it's a colorful illustrated guide

So there you go
Don't worry
I'll be the one to help you weather the storm
I'll be there mami
No matter what time, no matter what place
You can always count on me
I'll take it from here

I remember sitting in my car and thinking "Justin is trippin'. Can't no man or woman be all of these things for you but Jesus. Wait...Oh my goodness!!!!! Thank you Lord!" It should be of little shock that the Lord would speak to me through Justin Timberlake. If you look in the Old Testament, it is not the first time He has used an ass. Okay, I know that was an actual donkey but I couldn't resist. I wish I had the time to go through all of these lyrics and put all the scriptures that come to mind upon reading them but I can't right now.

I don't know what anyone reading this is going through but if you think that God is not at all concerned about your broken heart, I encourage you to read back through these lyrics as if the Lord was speaking to you. He wants to be your air and your lighthouse. He wants to make sure your dreams come true. He put them there. He wants you to take a look outside because nature screams of His glory and goodness. And as sure as the sun shines everyday, so does His faithfulness.

I remember crying in the bathroom at church one day (Side note to Tia: We have done more crying at church that has had NOTHING to do with Jesus than any woman ever should. Good grief!) and this woman came over and said I looked beautiful. I was like "Whatever." She then asked if something was wrong and I said I was fine. She looked at me and said "Ok. Jesus knows." I started bawling again right after she left the bathroom. I started crying because it never occurred to me that Jesus has seen EVERYTHING. He knows that when Guy A/Beautiful Surprise/Tag/Mike and all of the other cast of characters have done (or not done things) how that has affected me. We sometimes think that this is all too trivial to bring to the Lord when really He wants us to come to him. The heart is very, very serious business to God. He says that out of it is the "wellspring of life".

I hope that this has blessed someone, even if it's just one. This is not the only song that God has let play in the background of my circumstance that has had meaning and I hope to share more in the future.

Be well and take good care of your hearts.

If God is a DJ
Life is a dance floor
Love is the rhythm
You are the music
If God is a DJ
Life is a dance floor
You get what you're given
It's all how you use it...
-Pink "God is a DJ"

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