Thursday, September 6, 2007

I want a boyfriend - Tia

(Damn you Steve. I blame you for this. I was minding my own business, being single and planning my European tour and then here YOU come telling me that I need a boyfriend. And now look...)

So I have recently decided that I want a boyfriend. The other day my friend Steve called me and we got to talking about my being single. Now mind you, I have you I have been single for QUITE SOME TIME, much to the disbelief of some of my guy friends. I ran into my ex- a couple of years ago and he said in utter disbelief, "You can't still be single???" Yes, and thank you for being so AWESOME about it.

Steve and I got to talking and he asked me what it is that I want in a guy. He figured that I must have a laundry list of things that I want and that's why I'm single. In actuality the list really isn't that long. I just want him to love Jesus, be taller than me and love music. Everything else is incidental. If, however, he's British that's about a million points in his favor. (I would just like to interject that Let's Chill is playing on my iTunes and let me tell you this song never gets old.) But anyway, for the most part I'm not looking for a whole lot of specifics in a guy. And that confuses people. They figure that there has to be a reason I'm single but since they can't figure it out they remain befuddled. (One of my guy friends said the cutest things to me about why people remain flummoxed about my singleness: "They're just confused because you're pretty." I know it's vain but I giggled like a little school girl when he said it.)

A few days after my conversation with Steve, I was sitting on the couch letting my mind wander and I realized that I do in fact want a boyfriend. Anyone who has read this site knows that I want to get married. I have wanted to be married since I was 8. (Yeah, I was that kid.) But after thinking about it I realized that there is a whole stage that comes before marriage. It's that fun dating/courtship phase. That holding hands in the park, sharing a cupcake at West Egg Cafe, gentle kisses on the neck, hand in the back pocket. I KEED, I KEED...I just wanted to see if you were paying attention with that last one. But for real, I realized that I really want that right now. It's been so long since I've had it. And it doesn't help that I am a hopeless romantic. I want to have a story.

Toya mentioned earlier that one of our friends is getting married soon. She met her husband online. Nothing wrong with that. The stigma from online dating is pretty much a thing of the past. But that's not really what I want. I want a story. I want it to be something like, "Oh we met on the MARTA train to the airport. He looked familiar to me. It turns out we went to elementary school together. We exchanged numbers and a few weeks later we starting dating." Now mind you it doesn't have to be like that. I'm a romantic but I'm also something of a realist. I don't even ride MARTA that often. And I wouldn't pass a perfectly good guy up just because we didn't have a backstory. But in an ideal world, with an ideal situation, there would be a story. And he would be British.

So yeah, I want a boyfriend. And I'm not really ashamed to say it. For a long time I felt like there was something wrong with me for wanting to be in a significant relationship. Though well meaning, (and sometimes not well meaning) a lot of people in the church want to throw that "let Jesus be your everything" at you when you talk about being married. They make you feel like you're not spiritual enough if you still have a desire to have a husband. Well, I'm not buying it. Yes, Christ needs to be first in my life. But having a relationship with Christ doesn't me not having a relationship with anyone else.

(Elliott Yamin just came on my iTunes. He doesn't even know he's in danger.)

This concludes my whining session for this evening.

Have a great night.

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