Don't Say- Toya
This is a song by Jon B that came out almost 10 years ago I think on his album Cool Relax. Jon B still has some bangin' slow jams. It's hard to find a good slow jam nowadays. The last good one I heard was Naked by Marques Houston and that was 2 years ago. Sad. No generation should be deprived the joys of making a good slow jam mix tape.
Side note: I am writing this some place new. Today I decided to head over to where I will be moving soon and check out one of the coffeehouses here. I absolutely hate it. I don't know anyone, the music is wack and there is no diversity. I am inclined to go across town to where I normally go even though it probably is too far for me to travel late at night as I like to do. I mean, I am really sad about this right now. I like a good coffee spot. Oh wait, I did see one person I know. But still...
Don't say what you won't do
You know you'll be the first one to go on through
I wasn't going to admit this to anyone but I figured, why not? I need to talk about it. It's funny. Well to me anyway...(deep breath)....
I tried on a wedding dress today.
The very thing I said I would never EVER do in my entire life if I was not engaged and I did just that. Now let me explain. My friend Becky just got engaged not even 12 hours before we met for breakfast today. After breakfast, she asked if I would go to a bridal shop with her not too far away. I gladly agreed. I am so excited for Becky. She is 38 and has been through a lot. It's funny that I went with her during this time in my life because I am actually at a place where I don't know if I ever want to be married. That's not cynicism, that's just weighing my priorities and the responsibilities of marriage. If I get married, cool. If I don't, still cool. So the reason why I was able to go with her and not get severely nauseous as I did the last time I went into a bridal shop is because there is no longer fear but indifference.
So anyway, we went to the first shop to go see the Bridal Nazi. Becky needs to know that I love her because I bit a whole through my tongue not telling this woman where I would like to "bustle" her. Now, my friend Becky is a hot chick. In fact, Tia and I refer to her as Hot Chick Becky. But like a lot of women she has some body image issues. She's decided to go on Weight Watchers and that's fine but the fact that she was even able to fit into those European sized from satan's minions dresses says a lot. I wouldn't have been able to even begin to zip any of those up and I am a size 10. Well, the Bridal Nazi thought it fit to tell her that she only had so much time to lose weight up until the dress would come in (6 months). That's CRAP! The dress is supposed to fit you; you are not supposed to fit the dress. It was just a sample dress at that. I was PISSED. As she put on this dress which I swear looked like THE dress to me, The Bridal Nazi kept telling her that she looked skinny and that the dress was very effective. What the hell does that even mean, "effective"???? The veil? Effective. The tiara? Effective. I didn't get it. Still don't.
Becky is a youth pastor and was so concerned about showing too much skin in the church that she contemplated getting a jacket to go with the dress. Now I know that she was not there for me to enforce my personal taste on her but I know her and I knew that was going to be a big mistake. Well as I voiced this, Bridal Nazi interrupted me and said something to the effect of this is her choice, her taste, and her wedding. At this point I wanted to introduce her to my very effective back hand, the floor and her teeth that would be on it if she ever snapped at me like that again. Oh, did I mention that I am off caffeine and dieting again? Awesome.
Although the dress in that shop looked like THE dress, we went somewhere else. I liked the next place MUCH MUCH better. The saleswomen were much more down to earth and did not pressure us at all. As Becky was looking at dresses, I peeked through some Vera Wang dresses and found the most gorgeous dress I have seen in a long time. The thing was, it looks nothing like a wedding dress to me. Like maybe if I got married on the beach, this would be my ideal dress. It was just gorgeous and I really wanted to try it on. First I had to wrap my mind around the fact that I was actually considering trying on a wedding dress in the first place. I justified it by saying that I wasn't trying it on with marriage in mind so it was ok. Besides, no one was in the store besides Becky, the two salespeople and me. "Becky I am trying this dress on. TELL NO ONE. I swear, you better not tell anybody." "Oh, I'm telling people." she shouted from the dressing room. You know, you just don't want people to think you are desperate or anxious. I am neither. I just like pretty dresses.
Well the bad boy wouldn't zip up cause it was a size 6 but I was able to pull it together. I stepped onto the block in front of the mirror, took my hair out of its band and pulled it up with long curly tendrils dropping to the side. Everyone said it was gorgeous. And just when I thought about enjoying it, I said "Get me out of this thing before I start breaking out into hives." and ran off of the block before I had a Cristina on Grey's Anatomy moment in the store.