Monday, April 30, 2007

Song of the moment - Tia

I usually don't feel no kind of way about Bobby Valentino. I hated every song he put out from his first album. And if memory serves, every single single he dropped was about butts. We took to calling him Booty Valentino around the 369.

But his new track has been on repeat all day today. I love it. Initially I thought it was R. Kelly. And I have to admit I hated myself for loving it the way I did. R (pronounced R-ah) is know what, I'm not even going to go into it. Anyway, I thought it was R, but after doing some digging I found out it was Booty...Bobby Valentino.

The track is produced by Timbaland, so you know it's the hotness. At the moment, Tim is on a roll. I will admit though, the first few times I heard it I couldn't figure out why I liked it so much, so quickly. Then I realized it sounds a lot like he who shall not be named's song My Love. Listen close and you can hear the same beatbox that was used on another JT. The name escapes me at the moment. So maybe that's why I like the BV song so much. I like it because I feel like I already know it. (My dad has a whole theory about sampling. I'll have to share it with you some day. But the short version is sampling and people who use it often *coughPuffycough* are from the devil.)

Anyway, if you're interested in hearing it, go here.

Thanks to concreteloop for the info.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

I am so glad that film is forever - Tia

So I'm sitting here procrastinating before I head to the gym. I'm sure I could find something valuable to do with my time but at the moment, I have no desire to.

I was reading some of the comments that you guys left (which by the way are HAHALARIOUS) and I decided to again watch the Mickey Mouse Club video. I was IN LOVE with that show growing up. I remember I begged my mother to get the Disney Channel (before it was free with basic cable) so that I could watch the show. I would run home every afternoon I didn't have basketball practice and watch the show. On the days I did have practice, the VCR was set to assure that I wouldn't miss the show. When I say that I have been in love with JC for almost two decades that is no exaggeration. I mean the show started when I was 11. Between JC, Damon, and Dale I was in pre-pubescent heaven.

So while I was sitting here surfing Youtube for MMC clips I came across this one. The audio is complete crap but the clip itself is great. The minute it started playing I was 11 years old again sitting indian style on the floor wishing I could meet Damon or JC and Dale so that I could tell them that I love them.

Good times...

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Random gripe about music...again - Tia

If you've been reading for any length of time you know that I love music. I don't know but two other people who love music as much as I do. When I'm bummed or just in a funk I have a praise and worship playlist that ALWAYS get me feeling better. I pretty much start and end my day with music.

One of the few good things about working at H&M is that they have a pretty killer soundtrack that plays all day. I heard What You Know by T.I. the other day and I had to act right because I was on the register. You can't act trifling when you're ringing up customers. Anyway, one of the BAD things about working in retail is that you hear the same songs a good deal. Actually that can be a good or bad thing. You may get to hear a song that you like a lot. But you may have to listen to 10 different songs by Gwen Stefani in one day. (I like Gwen WITH No Doubt. Gwen alone is not doin' it for me.)

So there is this Fallout Boy song that I am really diggin'. It's Sugar, We're Goin' Down. But it's not the album version. I have that already. The version that they play at work has fewer guitars and more bass. The tune is basically the same, but this version just has a different sound to it. Anyway, you know I wanted it. And so began the search.

One would think that since music has been on a downward spiral for some time now that the American record labels would do their best to make sure that every available song is easily accessible. I mean, one would think right? Yeah, not so much. You'd have thought I was trying to find Esteban's Lost City of Gold or something. I looked everywhere for the song. First I had to find out what the version was called. That took longer than it should have. Then I had to try to find the remix itself. iTunes didn't have it. Rhapsody didn't have it. Amazon, may have had it but all of the remixes they had listed had no available snippets to listen to. I looked everywhere I could think of and a couple of places that just showed up on my google search.

Can you guess where I finally found it??? In ENGLAND. had it. I have said it a million times before. Great Britain has the music thing on lock. And as much as I love the UK it's starting to piss me off. What is the deal with the American music market? There is nothing good on the radio. And nothing good coming down the pipes. Music execs want to blame the downward spiral of cd sales on piracy and digital downloads. Bull....The reason people aren't buying whole cds anymore is because no one is putting out whole cds worthy of buying. That's the reason sites like iTunes are so popular. Artists know that they don't have to put out a whole cd of quality songs. They just have to make 2 or 3 good songs that will get downloaded 1 milllion times. I swear they are not even trying anymore. And then when there is a good but none-radio friendly song out, you have to darn near hunt for it like you're looking for Osama Bin Laden. Man, I really hate the music industry right now.
Elliott Yeah-Man!!! - Tia

I'm going to see Elliott on June 14th. That little man better sing his behind off. I might lose it when I hear One Word or, oddly enough, Find A Way. I wish Toya could go with me. But she might pull a Rick Springfield. (You know I love you, right?)

Anyway, if they let me take pictures I will post them IMMEDIATELY. Until then, enjoy:

This one is not for everyone. Only the TRUELY grown and sexy know what this song is even about.

Was I the only person whose WHOLE world was messed up when they found out Bobby Caldwell was white? I mean I was JACKED UP!!

Monday, April 23, 2007

So...ummm...yeah - Tia

I think....I THINK I just experienced my first earthquake. Nothing major. Just a little tremor. It basically felt like a truck hit the foundation of my building. Although, now that I think about it, maybe a truck did hit my building. I haven't been outside yet.

Anyway, I was laying in bed and the building just kinda shook for a couple of seconds. Then some dogs started barking and such. You know like in the movies. Me being the nerd that I am immediately got online to see if I was just nuts or something. Apparently there was 3.1 magnitude earthquake just north of where I live. So maybe I wasn't dreaming.

Gotta love when the earth shifts beneath you.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

I'm not that girl - Tia

(I have been trying to write this post for a while. The reason that it's taken so long is because I still haven't figured out how to word it so that I don't come off sounding like a whiny vain brat. So I'd like to preface this whole thing by saying that I am not one of those girls who is gassed up on herself. I know who I am and I know that I'm flawed. Pretty doesn't mean perfect.)

There is a scene at the end of Season 2 of Grey's Anatomy that summed up perfectly how I feel a lot of the time. Izzy is sitting in the chief's office after having just cut Deeny's L-vad wire. She begins by saying, "I'm a pretty girl. " She's pretty not from a certain angle but in an obvious way. With big boogs. Big boobs are the key to obvious pretty. (Her words not mine.) She goes on to say that that's how guys see her. Not as a smart girl or an interesting girl, but as a pretty girl. And when they find out that there's more to her they walk away.

I watched that scene so many times. Somehow a Hollywood writer managed to get it right.

I preface the following statement by saying that I'm not being arrogant. I'm a pretty girl. I don't mean it in an "I'm all that kind of way." It just is. I have a symmetric face (which is basically all that pretty is.) I know I'm not the prettiest girl. And my mom was smart enough to know to tell me that while I may be pretty I'm not the prettiest and that there will always be someone pretty and someone not as pretty as me. It sounds bad, but it kept me humble.

The thing about being pretty and curvy is a lot of times it leads to assumptions from other people. Guys think you're slutty. Girls think you're bitchy. As far as I can tell I'm neither. But looking like a video girl without video girl aspirations can be devastating for a girl's self esteem.

I know some of y'all are sitting there thinking, "What the hell is this girl complaining about? She has a problem with being pretty?!? Is she nuts?" That's not what I'm saying. I don't have a problem with being pretty. I have a problem with how some people perceive me because I'm pretty.

I am the girl that some guys want to touch, kiss or other with. Thanks to MTV and BET, there is a generation of guys who think that I spend my time dropping it like it's hot and spinning on the pole. Not because of how I dress or how I act but simply because I "look" like the type.

Last night Toya went to see a show with a mutual friend of ours. From what she told me the place was packed and the friend went out of his way to protect her from being trampled, crushed and lost in the shuffle. It's not the first time this guy has had her back. He protects her. He looks out for her. By his own accounts he has no feelings for her. He just sees her as a friend, a girl, someone to protect. He doesn't view her as helpless. But there's something in him that makes him want to make sure that she suffers no harm. And then there's me...

This same guy who escorted Toya by the hand out of a crowded venue to make sure that she did not get lost in the crowd, recently told me that he always wanted to make out with me. "I had a crush on you for a long time. You're really hard to resist." Great, thanks. There was nothing protective about anything that he said to me. I know his intentions were at best meant to flatter me but in the end that wasn't what I felt. I was quite sad really. Knowing the kindness that this guy was capable of and knowing that he didn't think of me like that hurt my heart. Not because I feel ANY KIND OF WAY about him, but because it was the same story just with a different face. Yet another guy who sees me but doesn't SEE me.

I know I sound like I'm whining but it sucks to feel like you're never really seen. To always be the girl of the moment but not the girl of the future. I have always envied how guys look at Toya and they get that "Someday" look in their eyes. I.e. someday I can take this girl home to my mama. And maybe I've just seen one too many romantic comedies, but that is what I want. I want to be the someday girl.

Toya used to tease me about being Beyonce's body double (Although, currently that title would be a bit inaccurate. But Tim the trainer is working it out for me.) While flattering, what girl in her right mind wouldn't give up looking like FIYAH to have a guy really know her? Know the deepest parts of her soul. Know that she loves to play Guitar Hero and reads anything that Meg Cabot writes. Know that loves kids and has wanted to be a mom since she was in elementary school. Know that she can't spell awkward without really sounding it out.

These are probably just the ramblings of a hormonal chick, but until further notice, I'm OUT. If I can't have someone who sees me, I mean really SEES me then I don't want anyone. Pretty is overrated and subjective anyway.
Oldie but a Goodie - Tia

I DARE you to say you don't love this video. I'm pretty sure we posted this before but it is still good. I have had a crush on JC for FAR TOO LONG. And last night someone (again) mentioned that he might be gay. I don't believe it. I think he just hasn't met me yet. (Random Aside: Has anyone heard his new stuff yet? So far, what I've heard sucks. The boy can SANG but his material is garbage. If he doesn't step up his game his is going to be on the fast track to obscurity.)

Anyway, does anyone know what happened to Dale? JC is still trying to make music. He who shall not be named is everywhere and Ryan Gosling is...well he's still fine and acting his behind off. (And I read that he broke up with Rachel McAdams. My number is..615...) But we haven't heard from Dale. If anyone has any info, send it our way.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

I want to know - Tia

Who tarnished the good name of 30. As some of you know I just started working at H&M. With the exception of one manager and one associate I am the oldest person there. A few of the people there that I've gotten to know have asked me how old I am and I've gotten the same response from all of them. "Wow, you don't look or act it." I have asked everyone of them the same question, "Are you saying I act immature?" They all say no but they never would have guessed I was 30. So I want to know. Who decided that 30 was this magical elderly age? Did it have something to do with the show thirtysomething? I know when I was growing up 30 seemed ancient. But as I've gotten closer to the big 3-0, I realized that 30 is just an age. Now granted, there are immature 30 year olds (one of my co-workers is dating one. He broke up with her because she wanted him to get rid of a calendar that was signed and kissed and perfumed by his ex-girlfriend. I thought it was a reasonable request. He threw a temper tantrum and dumped her.) Anyway, we all know someone who is a little young acting to be 30. But how did 30 become the this geriatric, polyester pants, desk job having age?

I play Guitar Hero. I wear shirts with cartoons on them. I have a 401(k) . And I have a daily skin regimen. So maybe I'm somewhere in the middle. Maybe 30 is the new 25. Or maybe 30 is really 40 and I'm just in denial.
Somebody please tell me.....-Tia

Why is this man SO FINE??? I mean, for real, for real, I NEEDS TO KNOW!!!

And he has the nerve, the brazen audacity if you will, to BE BRITISH...Come King Jesus and crack the sky.

Okay, there will be no more posts about the Y-chromosome individuals from me for the rest of the week.

I was about to got to bed and for some reason I had an Adrien Brody flashback. I went scraight to youtube.
Act like you know.
If the video doesn't load, go here.
Oh and don't forget this.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Beauty Item I can't live without


Shameless product promotion of the week - Tia

(Toya and I were talking the other day and we decided that we would, from time to time, give shout outs to some of the products we use. I mean, we want to help our readers out. We love y'all. )

I don't have lashes. I have lashettes. My friend Megan has the longest eyelashes that I have ever seen...without mascara. But when she would put it on she would cause a breeze everytime she blinked. But not matter what mascara she recommended it never really seemed to work for me. I'd pretty much resigned myself to having lashettes for the rest of my life.

Then a couple of months ago I was perusing the cosmetic aisle and I stumbled across Rimmel's Eye Opening Mascara. And before you ask, NO, I didn't just pick it up because the Rimmel brand is from London. I just had the vague hope that I may final branch out from lashettes to...well lashes.

To put it bluntly, this stuff is the mascara EVER. So for all of you out there paying double digit dollars for stuff from Sephora, I have one thing to say: STOP IT. Go right now to your local wal-mart, spend about $4-5 and get the last mascara you will ever use.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Crush of the moment - Tia

I am no respecter of persons. Fine is fine, REGARDLESS of race. So forget what you heard and forget what you think you know, Daniel Dae Kim is FINE!!!

There is a picture that I can not find but I saw it in GQ or something. In the picture he's squatting down in a suit with sun setting behind him....CHILD....It will make you want to act a fool.
Anyway, since I can't find that picture, here are a couple of other ones I like.

Yeah, I don't care what you think. Fine is fine.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

It's not fair - Tia

I went to school in VA. I didn't go to V-Tech. But I knew a few people who did. While the school I went to was not really the business while I was there, VA as a whole was a decent place.

I was really shocked and sadden when I heard about the shooting at V-Tech. I'm sure I would have been sad no matter where it happened. But I spent 5 years off and on just down the road from Blacksburg, so this really made me think. It could have just as easily been Liberty (where I went) or Randy-Mac or any one of the other colleges in the area.

It was a senseless tragic event that didn't have to happen. And my prayers go out to the families of the victims and to the family of the shooter. If you pray, take a moment to remember the families and the victims.

Sunday, April 15, 2007


Well we might as well talk about it

This weekend I finally got a chance to watch the tape that my friend Bets lent me that had my current crush Elliott Yamin’s performance on Jimmy Kimmel on it. That is a singin’ man *sigh*… Anyway, on the same tape were a number of American Idol episodes. Until this weekend, I had yet to see a full episode and actually saw a part of one for the first time last week. I guess with Tia gone and us having 2 ½ channels in my house with no cable, it’s hard to get caught up. I’m rarely home to watch television anyway.

I began watching the tape and came to realize that this is indeed the worst season of them all, hands down. I mean, ugh! Here’s the breakdown from me, the Simon Cowell of the South:

Let’s start with the easiest: Melinda-I know Melinda actually. Everyone in Nashville knows Melinda! She was a backup singer along with one of my roommates. I always knew she could sing but my goodness! I seriously had no idea of what a powerhouse she is. Melinda is one person that I have the honor to say is as humble in person as she is on television. She also is one of the funniest people I have ever met in my life. Someone asked me if she is that shy in person and honestly, I have never known her to be shy. However, I am not shy at all but put me on television week after week in front of millions of people and I would look like a deer caught in headlights too. I always said that if I was ever on Wheel of Fortune they could put my full name on there with only vowels left and out of nervousness I still wouldn’t be able to guess what it was. Just because you are outgoing doesn’t mean you never get nervous. This goes without saying but Melinda is undoubtedly the best performer on the show. Some may argue that LaKisha is a better singer but Melinda is definitely the better performer.

Lakisha- I mean, dang. She proved why I say Jennifer Hudson’s version of Jennifer Holiday’s “And I Am Telling You” does not hold a candle to the original song. I am not saying that Hudson did not do a great rendition. What was missing from her version though was the insanity. Hudson’s was “I love you, we can work it out.” Holiday’s was “You bet not even think I’m going anywhere. Push, strike and kill, I will haunt you in your sleep. Think I won’t?” That’s maniacal. So when I saw Lakisha sing this song with the same crazy woman look in her eye, I knew she was going to make it far. I want to say it’s going to come down to her and Melinda but I also said that Chris Daughtry would win last year. When you leave the voting up to America, there is no telling what can happen. We are the same country that made Laffy Taffy a number one hit. God bless the USA.

Jordin- She’s cute, she can sing and she is one of the better ones. Unfortunately in this year’s competition that is not hard to be.

Blake and Chris- For what I am about to propose I need to mention them at the same time. I would like for everyone reading this to agree that next time you see either one of them on TV you will walk up to your television set, lay hands on it and say

“I rebuke that spirit of Justin Timberlake in the name of Jesus!”

I know that we always refer to Justin Timberlake as Your Boy but sometimes you have to call out those ill spirits by their name. I have never seen such blatant imitation of a celebrity outside of a look a like contest in my entire life! It used to be that everyone imitated Michael Jackson. Your Boy might think he is in line to be the new Michael Jackson but he most definitely is not. Stop giving him a reason to think that he even has a chance to be. Don’t get me started.

Phil- Umm, on the tape that I saw, none of his performances were recorded. That can’t be a good thing.

And last and least (not trying to be mean but it’s the truth and he knows it so there is no need to apologize) Sanjaya.

When I came out of the kitchen and saw him on the screen with El Debarge’s old hairdo from the Rhythm of the Night video, I clutched my chest in dead silence for about two minutes straight. There are no words. Again, it’s up to America. Anything can happen.

Now I know that I am missing some people and that is my point. I don’t even remember who is left. This season has just not been made up of enough memorable talent. So unless Melinda makes it to the final 2, it’s safe to say that the next time I will be watching American Idol will be next season.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Toya's Random Ramblings While at Yet Another Show

- I am sitting here waiting to see Citizen Cope FINALLY. I feel like I planned to see this show months ago. To my delight, I just found out that Alice Smith is opening.
- I just met Alexis, one of our readers which is pretty cool. It's weird to meet someone that knows so much about you and you don't know a lot about them. I wish we would've met up ahead of time so we could have talked more. It's too loud to talk now.
- We need to have a National I like you/Why have we never dated/Would you ever want to date me/Piss or Get off the Pot/Come Clean Day. It should be sponsored by Starbucks nationwide so people can have coffee and clear the air. Telling Tag how I felt was so liberating that I don't care who the heck knows now. Now there are some guys who I don't even want to know why they have never asked me out. We know good and well that women can't always handle the truth. I just think that we would have a lot less stressed people that keep Citizen Cope's "Sideways" on repeat if they just got some closure. I may write my congressman on this one. I'm just sayin'.
- I'm on South Beach 5 days strong now. Mission Stop Muffin Top is in full effect. For the first two weeks I am to cut out sugar and caffeine as well as some other foods. I don't miss sugar but evidently I am a hardcore caffeine junkie. I have been on the verge of tears and have had to get caffeine in order to not fight, cry. and/or cuss. I almost burst into tears last night and since I have had 2 diet cokes, I really can't remember what I was so angry about. It's scary to be honest. I don't like knowing that my body now depends on a substance. I also don't like the feeling of wanting to stab someone in the throat because they won't stop touching me.
- I miss sushi!!!!! I just found out (on the second day of my diet unfortunately) that Krispy Kreme makes a whole wheat donut. Guess where I will be at the end of my 2 weeks of no sugar hell? Sitting in front of KK's praying for the hot sign to light up.
Hijinks, Shenanigans and Lies - Tia

So a funny thing happened the other day. A black girl made a brilliant documentary about an issue that affects other black girls. The documentary gained national attention and even made it into the finals of a film contest hosted by a magazine with a majority white readership. Several black websites throw their support behind the film and it surges ahead in votes in the contest going from 3rd place to 1st place. When the film moves into to 1st place the people behind the contest cry, "VOTE TAMPERING" and close the voting.

Does this sound fishy to anyone else?

Check out concreteloop for more details. But the whole thing seems foul regardless of how you spin it.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Good and Bad Hair - Tia

One of my favorite scenes from Spike Lee's School Daze is the song in the hair salon. The first time I watched it I was only about 8 but I loved it. At the time I just thought it was a cute song. I didn't realize the magnitude of what Spike was trying to say.

I grew up being considered "light-skinned." I'm lighter than both of my parents. (Figure that one out.) I don't really consider myself light. More of caramel color, if you will. But growning up I was pretty much one of the lightest in my family. About 2 years ago, I started pressing my hair and I noticed an increase in the "good hair" comments. So I guess to some I was the light-skinned girl with good hair. Whatever man.

I have to be honest. I have light skinned girl tendencies. I get really sensitive about some issues that could have been left alone. I take offense when someone calls me light-skinned. (Classic light-skin tendency.) But for the most part I don't let it bother me. I will admit there were times growning up that it did get under my skin a little.

I remember not wanting to be considered light-skinned when I was little. I would purposefully go to the pool and stay ALL DAY. No sun block or anything. I was trying to get darker. During the summer you can still find me lounging by the pool. But that's mostly because I like being warm. And I'm good for some sun block now.

I must admit, I am so sad to see that the whole dark-skin/light-skin issues still rage on in our culture. It's unavoidable. We are still led to believe that light is right. Take television and film. How many "dark-skinned" actresses can you name? But the "light-skinned" ones are every where. I can't go anywhere without seeing Beyonce on SOMETHING. And I'm no hater, and maybe it's just me, but it seems like the more popular she became the lighter her hair got. One has to wonder if Hollywood would be some enamored with her if she were a few shades darker. You see how they kick Kelly to the left, to the left.

Usually when I write stuff like this I try to come up with some sort of solution. Some small step that each one of us can take that will ultimately make a bigger difference. But at the moment I'm at a loss. This situation has been going on since...well, since slavery. (Field negroes vs house negroes) And unless we do something about it, we will stay divided. It will not be us against them. It will always be us against us.

Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them: "Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall. - Luke 11:17

One more thing. Seventeen year old Kiri Davis produced and directed a short film called A Girl Like Me. It is moving and heart breaking to say the least. Ms. Davis' film has been chosen as one of the finalist for the CosmoGirl Take Action Hollywood Film Contest. After you watch the clip, please head over to the CosmoGirl site and vote.

Monday, April 9, 2007

Yeah Man!!!! - Tia
(I had a higher quality version of the video on Monday. But I went in to copy the code and put the video somewhere else and now the widgets are messed up. I don't even know what a widget is. Anyway, if you're interested, go here.)

I really was going to just let Toya's post ride out the day. She basically wrote everything that I was going to say regarding the whole "I want everything else" post.

But as I was finishing up my morning routine in an effort to protect my situation I decided that I wanted to hear something that would get me amped for my first day at H&M. The first thing that came to mind was the new Maroon 5 song Make Me Wonder.

I heard the song when I was in the car with a friend of mine last week. He was geeked about the song, but I hadn't heard it yet. My initial response was indifference. I could really get into it. But the more I listened the more it grew on me and by the end of the song I wanted to go straight to iTunes and download it. (It's not there yet by the way.)

Anyway, this morning I really wanted to hear it. So I went to the first place that you KNOW you can find anything: youtube. And then it happened. Y'all I saw ADAM. That little angry skinny man is FINE. And if you ever see him live you too will love him. He sings his behind off.

I watched the video completely slack-jawed. Adam is THAT BOY!! If he would just give me a minute of his time. Just a minute....We could be down. I just need to talk to him real quick...I'm just saying....

Anyway, for your viewing pleasure

Sunday, April 8, 2007

Movin’ On- Toya

I must say that I thoroughly enjoy the challenge of naming my posts after my favorite songs. Is it any wonder that I chose the first song off of Elliott Yamins’ current CD? I am trying to tell yall this is a cry for help. The CD hasn’t even been out a month and it’s already a problem.

Tia and I did a bit of pity partying this weekend I must say. All that was missing was the black confetti. We griped about everything: from the weight we have both gained from being more frequently depressed than we have ever been before in our lives to our crappy love lives (or lack thereof) to Tia living so far away and hating LA to me having to go to the spa to get waxed and dealing with the fact that your 30’s cause you to grow hair in weird and stupid places. Oh we were a joy.

During our “woe is we” weekend, I took Tia to my new favorite discovery in the Green Hills Mall, Teavana. Tea+Nirvana it is indeed and I absolutely love their fun, friendly and knowledgeable staff. You walk in and there is a selection of teas that are great on their own but magnificent when combined with another tea. They taste SO good and are SO good for you as well. I remember complaining about something before we got there and then I had a sip of this feel good tea that is full of antioxidants and mood boosters. I seriously forgot what I was so upset about almost instantly. Amazed by the selection as we gazed at the wall of tea, I turned to Tia and said, “This is why we need to be independently wealthy. I want a wall of teas! Don’t you want a wall of teas?” Tia nodded, looking longingly at the wall of teas. “I mean, we need to be Oprah and Gail”.” I said. Now really, I don’t know which one of us is Oprah and which one of us is Gail. Chances are I may be Oprah because I am in media, have curly hair and well I can sympathize with Oprah on how she looks without makeup. I too spend about 20 minutes in the mirror each day trying to accomplish the “natural” look. Tia on the other hand is taller, naturally pretty, more laid back and KEEPS a fresh press.

My business coach/arse kicker Tiffany brought up an excellent point over coffee last night: there are too many talented people in this town that are broke. As a matter of fact, all of my friends are broke and all of my friends are crazy talented. Some of them are too talented for their own good because they are good at so many things that they can’t decided on what exactly it is that they need to focus on. I, myself, who I consider to be blessed with a few talents, seriously does not know how it feels to not live paycheck to paycheck and at 32 that is a shame and disgrace. It makes no sense!

So after Tia got back home to LA we had a talk about what has had us both down in the dumps and I proposed this: what can we change and what can we not change? We cannot change the fact that our lives have at times been interrupted by whom I like to call the “Ineligibles”: men/boys/guys that are not eligible for any type of meaningful relationship. Most of the time I am perfectly happy being single and crush free until they come along as reminders of what it is that I really want but for some reason beyond my control cannot have. What we CAN control however is continuing to gain weight, our poor spending habits, our lack of trust in God for our futures when He has proven time and again that He is faithful to us, and how poorly we have ordered our priorities. Enough is enough and as Pastor John (Mayer) has said, we got to “Keep movin’ to protect (our)situation.” Cause church, I mean friends, it is indeed, “down to the wire”.

Tia and I each want to own a house. We want to go on vacations with our friends. We want our own businesses. We want to be able to provide for our families. All of these things cost money. The love of money is the root of all evil but the LACK of money is the root of much of our discontentment. Tia and I have come up with this question that we will pose in response to those things that interrupt our lives, cause us anxiety, grief, self-doubt and immobility:

“Now, what does this have to do with my money?”

Now when you say this, it must be said with a certain swagger. Not so much like a pimp but then not as dignified as a billionaire like Bill Gates. It’s a simple question that certain things must be measured against. For example, I was in a music video a few weeks ago (let me see how my shots came out first before I tell everyone which video it is) and rather enjoyed it. I have noticed that a lot of videos, ads and commercials have that random black girl with the big curly hair. Why can’t I be that girl and get a little extra income all the while pursuing my own business in artist development and media training? So I am going to try and be in more videos, ads, etc. and this is going to mean getting in shape. I am a business, man! Regardless of if I get any work or not, I need to get in shape for my own well being so I can be healthy enough to work hard to live comfortably. So the question I must ask myself tomorrow at 6:15 in the morning when I decide for a split second to sleep in is “What does this (sleeping in) have to do with my money?” I don’t need more sleep. I need more money.

I knew we were on to something when I went on the annual grown ups Easter egg hunt at my friends Anne Marie’s and Jen’s house today. Every year they plant Easter eggs in their yard filled with candy and one egg always has $50 in it. I have prayed hard to find that egg every year and every year I have watched someone else win it. While looking for the egg today, my friend Lynn who is married to my buddy Ryan started talking to me. “You know I saw Rob today.” Rob is this guy that Ryan and Lynn have talked up for about 2 years now. They have talked to me about him and to him about me. I saw him at a show a while ago and went and introduced myself. He is a nice guy. A nice guy that is not interested in me and since I have made it a point to not be interested in guys that aren’t interested in me, there are no hurt feelings. “He looked nice. He had on an orange…” Now I can’t really tell you what she said after that because what immediately came into my mind as I had my eyes peeled for the $50 Easter egg was (everybody altogether now) “What does this have to do with my money?” Now Tia and I are no gold diggers so we don’t expect nor do we want to receive any money from any men, not even our own fathers at this point, What we do want is to get our priorities straight. Our priorities now do not involve the “ineligibles”. “You know I told you Rob has no game and to be that good looking, I really don’t understand why.” Ryan told me one day. See that would almost be acceptable if just a few days prior I hadn’t met Tag 2.0 who introduced himself to me and had my number and a tentative lunch date within five minutes. Next!

I think I may have mumbled the words “That’s nice” to Lynn and continued diligently looking for the $50 egg. Wouldn’t you know it? I FINALLY found the $50 egg. I had my mind on my money and my money on my mind.

The bottom line is this: it is so easy to gripe about the things that you cannot change than rather change the things you can. Sometimes we don’t change out of laziness, fear, misinformation or all of the above. I finally saw the Pursuit of Happyness and felt like the laziest person of all time. Chris Gardner never let the weight of “I can’t” outweigh the weight of “I must.” His “I must” crushed his “I can’t”. I am about to be 33. My “I must” is here and that has EVERYTHING to do with my money. Gotta go to bed now. I must work out tomorrow morning.
I have decided - Tia

After an eventful weekend and an eye-opening conversation with Toya, I have come to a conclusion.

Because I can not have sex, I want EVERYTHING else. Not in a sexual way (get your mind out of the gutter.) I want everything else in life.

There is a whole mindset and (hopefully) a post forthcoming. But just know that at this moment in time because I can't have sex, I want everything else.

That is all.

Friday, April 6, 2007

Happy Easter/Resurrection Sunday- Toya

I understand that a lot of people don't attend church outside of Easter, Mother's Day, New Year's Eve, etc. Perhaps the church sign below will be of some motivation to you.

Too Much of a Good Thing-Toya

Tia is in town for a few days and I took her to my favorite soul food spot. I have been going there every week religiously and when I go I can never eat anything for the rest of the day. I am in bed at 10 pm drunk with gluttony and a headache. This is NOT the way.

So because my fat arse cannot seem to make it out tonight, I decided to do this little survey that Tia did until I fall BACK to sleep. I swear I am taking my chunky butt to Smoothie King in the morning.

Make that the afternoon. Tia just called about hitting Cracker Barrell for breakfast.

.A - AVAILABLE: Does this mean like, relationship status? I am currently single but not always available if that makes any sense at all. Then again if the right person came along, I guess I would make myself more available. Hmm...
B - BIRTHDAY: December 26, 1974
C - CRUSHING: I love a crush. I do have a mild one on a boy. Oh and can we count the one that I currently have on Elliott Yamin who is coming to Nashville soon? It's about to be a problem.
D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Fruit Punch with a touch of Sprite. That is the goodness right there.
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO:Tia (with Katie in a close second). I have NO filter with Tia. I say things as soon asI think them which is probably why she threatens my life everyday.
F - FAVORITE BANDS: Are you kidding me? I'll pick four off of the top of my head: Anberlin, The Police, Biscuits and Gravy and The Brand New Heavies. Oh and EARLY Jamiroquai. Wait and then there is Maze featuring Frankie Beverly and I cannot forget Mint Condition. And you can't mention Mint Condition without mentioning all of the Jam and Lewis influenced bands: SOS Band, The Time... Then there is Prince and the Revolution. See? It's a problem,
H - HOMETOWN: Somerdale, NJ
INSTRUMENT(s): I used to playthe piano and wish I had never quit. I do play the Technics 1200's though occasionally.
K - KILLED SOMEONE: Goodness no
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: I think it's probably the drive we used to take when I was a kid from New Jersey to Louisiana.
M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Sonic's Vanilla milkshake with pineapple
O - ONE WISH?: You mean that song by Ray J? That song always makes me laugh, I don't know why.
Q- QUIET?:By John Mayer is one of my favorite songs of all time.
R - REASON TO SMILE: Tia's laugh darn near had me put in a coma this afternoon.
S- SONG YOU LAST HEARD: Golden Time of Day by Maze featuring Frankie Beverly
U- UNDERWEAR YOU'RE WEARING?: These cute little lace pair of, wait. I know I just didn't start to answer this question. Next...
V - VEGETABLE YOU HATE: Beets. When I was little (and I was a small child) I made my way behind a salad bar and grabbed what I thought to be slices of jello. Ihave not been the same since.
W - WORST HABIT: Procrastination. Oh gravity...
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: I smashed both hands in the crease of a garage door when I was a teenager. That was the shriek heard around the world
Z- ZODIAC SIGN: Capricorn which I am NOTHING like. They are supposedly uptight with their money and don't know how to loosen up. Yeah, right.
Song I am embarrassed that I love right now - Tia

So at the moment I LOVE R. Kelly's (pronounced R-AH) Flirt. It's nothing more than I'm gonna cheat on my girl song. But I love it.

That is all.
I don't know how else to put this but...Tia

DAMN, I miss Nashville. I didn't really appreciate when I was here before. And, as Toya pointed out, I couldn't really do anything because I was travelling all of the time. But now that I'm back (and there is a laundry list of people that I have to apologize to for not calling or coming to see you. But I wasn't just here gallivanting around the city and I can't see everyone every time. If I didn't see you this time you know you're on the list for the next time I'm in town.) Anyway, now that I'm back I'm seeing what a cool little town Nashville is. Sometimes it feels too slow but for the past few days I've noticed it's potential. I love the fact that I can pretty much get anywhere in under 30 minutes unless it's during rush hour. I love that there are so many places just tucked away in the crux of the city. (Toya and I use the word crux a lot but I don't know that we have been using it properly.) I love how SOUTHERN it is here. But it's not the stars and bars southern. At least not in most places. But it's that genial, "I really want to know how you're doing," "Hi Sweetie," "Yes ma'am," "No sir" kind of southern. I love that gas is under $3. And I love that my bestest mate is here.

Y'all I miss Toya something awful. She is the truest of true. I love her like I love myself. She is one of the few people who gets me and still loves me. We were in the car today and we laughed at something for a GOOD 15 minutes. I mean, side splitting, face hurting, about to throw up because we'd just eaten and the laughter was darn near aerobic activity LAUGHTER. I miss not being able to just get in the car drive across town and tell her what weird moment that I'm having right now.

I met this great girl at this cocktail party last weekend. She became the instant homie when we started talking about Puerto Rican food. But as cool as I can see this girl being, she won't ever replace my homiest of homies. I know I'm having a sappy moment but let me have it.

Anyway, I miss my friends. I miss normalcy. I miss home.

I'm sad.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Reader Feedback - Tia

Okay y'all. I need some feedback.

A friend of mine called me up not too long ago and gave me this following scenario. He went out to a club with his girlfriend. Now mind you, he LOVES to dance. He's not one of those guys who takes his girl to the club and then stands up against the wall. He's is going to dance. And he is going to dance all night. He may even out dance you. Anyway, he recently took his new girlfriend to the club with one of his mates. During the course of the night his new girlfriend proceeded to dance with him, his friend and a bunch of other guys in the club. While she danced with other guys she made sure to keep her eyes on my friend. (Her words)

At the end of the night my friend was, in my opinion, understandably upset. His thought was, "If I'm with you and you and I go to the club, you dance with ME." Her thought was, "Even if I dance with every other guy in the club, I'm still going home with you. " My thought is she basically cheated on him. This isn't the 1880s. Dancing is not the box step or the fox trot. For some, dancing is darn near pornographic. And from what I gathered from my friend there was definitely some dirty in the girl's dancing.

I think the girl was dead wrong. You don't dance with other guys. I don't care how you rationalize it. When I was single and would go to the club, I would dance with almost anyone who wanted to dance. But if I went with a boyfriend it was just the two of us. There was no one else in the room. I couldn't even fathom dancing with anyone else. Besides why would you want some guy you don't know pawing you in front your boyfriend?

So the question is, who's right? Is my friend being insecure? Is he making too big a deal? Or is he right? Was this girl out of line? I really need some feedback on this. I personally think this is grounds for dismissal. But maybe I'm just being too rash.

Eric Dane is FIYAH!!!!

I usually leave the boyfriends of the month to Toya. But child, I CAN NOT pass up Eric Dane. That man is ridiculous. Seriously, he is one of the main reasons that I'm so addicted to Grey's Anatomy. Yes, it's a well written, produced and acted show. Yes, Patrick Dempsy has been that boy for a minute. But HALLELUJAH HOLLABACK Eric Dane is that boy. He is one of those people that I hope I don't accidentally bump into in LA. I can not be held responsible for what I do if that happens. He's on the list. (The list contains names of guys that if I run into them I will most likely act all the way outside my mind. Eric Dane, Terrence Howard, Jason Momoa are just a few examples of the men on the list.)

You can't tell me that this man is not FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And that picture of him sitting on the desk let's you know that's he's up to NO GOOD.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

It's Official: Ciara is That Girl-Toya

I LOVE Ciara!!!! I don't have cable anymore and realized that I am out of the loop so I decided to take some time out and watch some videos online. "Like A Boy" is one of my favorite cuts on her cd, The Evolution of Ciara, and honestly there is not one track on there that I don't like. If you don't have The Evolution of Ciara and like to get pumped up before a night out with the girls, I highly recommend you go get it.

Is she crazy on the vocals? No. But is she one smart cookie? Heck yes! I can get behind just about any girl that can dance like Usher and for the most part keeps her clothes on. After watching a special on her on BET, she appears to be a woman that really has a hand in everything and does not leave it up to others to make her a put together pop star. She just keeps getting better and better and for that I applaud her. Work, girl!
This Week on “(Still) No Sex in the City”
Tia spends the last few days at her job that sucked the life out of her playing Sudoko and pondering the future of her and Toya’s blog, BGLU. Toya has lunch with a friend that encourages her to date what would be her own “Something New”: a well-established, responsible, older, well recognized, black man.

Tia will be here tomorrow, Lord willing, and the timing could not be more perfect. Sure we talk everyday but there is some cackling that needs to be done in person, especially with the onslaught of recent events.

Everyone wave to your monitors and say “Hello Tag!” A few nights back I had dinner with Tag who I haven’t seen it what seems like ages and decided that since he is one of my closest friends that there should be no secrets between us. After going to the ladies room, I sat down in front of him and said, “Alright, I have something to tell you. It’s a secret. Not a big secret, just a secret to you. Tia and I have a blog called Black Girls Like Us and…” I proceeded to tell him that we have had it a while and that we get a lot of web hits and emails from girls around the world, yadda yadda yadda. He then said “Wow! That’s awesome. You two should write a book. Why didn’t you ever tell me about it?” “Well, I never told you about it because you are in it. We give all of our friends aliases and yours is Tag”

For those that are new, let me catch you up. A “Tag” is a guy that is significantly younger that has all the qualities that a lot of guys we know around our age are lacking but unfortunately is not old enough to even rent a car, let alone have a serious relationship with. They are fun to kick it with but if a girl is not careful (and has been single for a LONG time) she can wind up falling for this kind of guy.

The look on Tag’s face was PRICELESS. I knew he watched “Friends” so he knew that Tag was the name of the character that Rachel fell for that was a lot younger than she was. “Yeah, but you never liked me, did you?” I just bit my lip and nodded. “Do you still like me? He looked concerned and obviously taken aback. “Oh no!” I assured him.” If I did there would be no way I’d be telling you now”. He and I both know that I would rather cut my right arm off than ever tell any man that I have or ever have had feelings for him. I am so over it that it can now be up for discussion. “When did you stop liking me?” “I don’t know really. It just went away.” I went on to tell him how there were times in our friendship that were really hard for me. I cannot even begin to really truly explain how it feels to find the guy that would’ve been perfect for you 10 years ago and yet you still can’t help but like him. “I knew you had a crush on me. I just never thought you were THAT attracted to me.” “I’m attracted to ALL guys like you!” It’s the truth. To be honest, this Tag is not my first Tag. I have a track record of Tags and I don’t go looking for them. They find me. As much as most women wish they looked much younger than what there age is, sometimes it’s a curse. At 32, the oldest anyone has ever guessed my age to be has been 25. This past Sunday, someone told me that they swore I was no older than 23. Because I come from a long line of people that defy age, I am clueless when I am trying to figure out how old someone is. So I meet these Tags, hit it off, hang out and then we both find out that they have an aunt my age. Okay maybe I am exaggerating but really, I’m not exaggerating that much at all.

Why I attract and am attracted to these kinds of guys has had me in tizzy worse than what I could even begin to explain and it started way before my confession to Tag. 2 weeks ago, my friend Angie asked me to go on a blind date with a friend of hers. We were shopping and she said “I really want to set you up on a date with Gregory.” Let me explain Gregory: Gregory is a pretty well known public figure that is older (not by much), quite established and well respected. I have actually met Gregory a few times. He is a nice man. A nice man that I am not interested in dating. “Umm, no” I replied. “Why?” “Because Angie.” “Why?” “Because I am just not interested.” “Why?” “Because it wouldn’t even make sense.” “He really is very down to earth and he is ready to settle down.” Ok see, I’m not. AT ALL. A blind date was the first strike. A blind date with a man that wants to settle down is darn near a double strike, if there ever was such a thing. “Hold on, you two are really good friends. Why don’t you date him, Angie?” “Oh, I need someone more eclectic.” “And I don’t? “ I went on to explain some of the things that I have been doing and where I have been hanging out. I love my life. I mean I LOVE MY LIFE!!! I love my independence and am guarded against anything or anyone that threatens that. If I wanted to settle down, I would give it a try but for now, not interested. I explained that to her and she backed off.

Gina, my 39-year-old friend in a relationship with a divorced father of 3 that she met on Myspace did not back off so easily. “Take the date,” she said over lunch. “No.” “Take the date.” “I’m not going to.” “Look, we always want what’s familiar over what’s best for us. You should take the date.” She explained that she wasn’t really attracted to the guy that she is currently in love with at first but for some reason kept going out with him and now they are in love. This is also a woman who has been falling asleep to the ticking of her own biological clock for many, many years. I think mine is broken. It’s never ticked, needed a battery, nothing. My mother also did not back off so easily and called me a chicken (her attempt at reverse psychology I am sure). Tia, my homie who KNOWS me was like “That is NOT the business. It doesn’t even make sense.” Now I don’t know if it is because I was going through the worst case of PMS I have had in years but this had me falling asleep in a fetal position, completely a wreck one night. Why? Because there is a Tag 2.0 XP (as Tia likes to call him) in the picture now that is giving me the giggles. I learned my lesson with the last Tag so getting my heart broken again is not a concern. What had me not wanting to get out of the bed one Saturday morning is this: What is wrong with me? Why wouldn’t a woman my age not jump at the chance to go out on a date with someone like Gregory? Why am I not remotely interested? Even worse, why do I keep meeting these guys that are so much younger than me and yet I get along better with them than I do with the few guys that I meet that are around my own age?

“I really don’t see why you are making such a big deal about this.” Tia told me after I rambled on and on about why am I not mature enough to want what most women my age want. “There is nothing wrong with you. You are great. You are youthful. You always have been and always will be.” My grandmother who is about to turn 80 but acts as if she is about to turn 60 said “Do what makes you happy. I just want you to be happy.” This is also a woman who dated a man 9 years her junior for many, many years. I didn’t find out that he was younger than her until we had a conversation about another Tag 5 years ago. He actually has always seemed to be much older than her. I am a lot like my grandmother.

The conclusion I have come to is this: I have not been attracted to these younger guys because they are younger. There are certain qualities about them that I love. In comparison, these Tags have seemed more interested, more attentive, more appreciative, more perceptive, more complimentary and simply more fun. That’s just the way it is.

So when my 26 year old brother told me tonight that the girl he is dating is 37. I applauded; not for him but for her! He’s a great catch and I aint mad at her. I’d be the "Chilli" calling the "Cameron Diaz" a "Demi Moore" if I was.

Toya and Tia's Random Thoughts- Toya

I usually do Toya's Random Thoughts but thought it would be fun to share some of Tia's as well and my response to her randomness. This happened over email at work. YES we DO work.

Tia's email entitled Random Thoughts:

  • Why does Case have so many singles spread out over so many random cds?
  • Why do I STILL not trust Tank?
  • If I see Tony Tone Toni am I allowed to slap one of them for the rain on my fresh press?
  • Why does Faith not have a greatest hits vol. 1 album by now?
  • Why is Downtown such a nasty song?
  • How much do I love meat?
  • Purple is officially an ingredient in Kool Aid according to my brother.
  • I think Anderson Cooper might bat for the other team.
  • The jeans that I’m wearing today are giving me a serious muffin top.
  • If it weren’t for the Lord, Jeffrey Dean Morgan (JDM) could have it. I don’t care that he’s going to be 41 in April.
  • For some reason, the men I find most attractive these days are clearly middle aged. JDM, McSteamy, the guy from the train. I don’t know why or how it happened but it did. At this time youngsters need not apply.
  • I just found out that Colin Firth and JDM are filming a movie together. I may have to be carried out of the theater.
  • Colin Firth is currently my screen saver.
  • Your check for my share of The Police tickets is in the mail.

Toya's Email:
Re:Random Thoughts

-Does Case have a greatest hits?
-Who the hell did Tank think he was leaving phone numbers (marked with a star no less) in his car? Don't get me started.
-NEVER is a strong word and TTT should’ve been able to back that up with some hard facts
-If Faith did have a greatest hits, her collabs alone would take up two discs
-I love Downtown. REALLY.
-Meat is a friend.
-I think Red is an ingredient as well
-Don’t make me cry. Although you may be correct about my dear Anderson.
-My gauchos are giving me wedgies.
-I just said the same thing about Andre 3000. I don’t care if his blouses ARE prettier than mine.
-I can’t even comment on what kind of guys I like right now cause it’s Spring and well…
-Have you seen Music and Lyrics yet?
-Common’s birthday is today. He is 35. Who says I don’t like MEN?
-Thanks homie. I gotta fork over $85 for my bridesmaid dress (half of the total cost). I mean, can’t THAT be the wedding gift?

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Live blog- Toya

I ought to be "showed" out. I have been to more shows this week and have at least one for the next couple of weekends(i am actually going to 3 one weekend). But as tired as I am, I am never too tired for an Anberlin show.

If BGLU could sponsor a tour, Anberlin would be the headliners. Who am I kidding? For all the music Tia and I like, we would need a festivalm They are definitely the official band of BGLU. Umm they are going into Day Late and I can't type with my Rock Finger in the air. Later!