Monday, October 2, 2006

Hang On To Your Love- Toya
I have been listening to a lot of Sade lately, mostly because I have had to go on some long behind road trips. My ""Drive" playlist has consisted mostly of Sade, John Mayer, Seal and Stevie Wonder. By the time the Mayer portion rolls around to "Quiet", I am out like a light.

I love music. I love music more than ice cream, sushi, strawberries, television, three day weekends, boys in skully knit caps and ribbed turtleneck sweaters (hello Fall) and randomly finding money in an old pair of jeans. I can't imagine my life without it and besides sex (which is remained to be seen), I can't imagine loving any one thing more.

And along with my love for music is my appreciation for artistry and musicianship; that thing that is in an artist that makes them create with or without a record deal, in front of 50,000 people or 50 people. I love artists. I love people that express themselves musically and who in melody and prose say what other people find hard to say.

My love for music and those that create it is what has propelled my life long passion of helping others achieve success in infusing the world with great music. Unfortunately, as of late the bitter taste that is in my mouth due to the industry made me question if helping others get in the business is even an ethical idea let alone a good one.

Without getting into too much detail, I want to remind you of something: the devil comes to steal, kill and destroy. A friend of mine pointed this out to me one day and added that this does not just apply to people but to dreams. So when I woke up this morning to find myself questioning my life long passion, I knew that something was afoot.

With Tia moving in just a few days, other friends deciding to move almost every week, and Tag and I barely speaking anymore, (side note: he admitted something to me a few weeks back that if I wrote about it would make you want to stand in an already long line of women who want to punch him in the face)and entering another year as the poster child for "extended singleness" I at least could say hey, at least I had my passion. At least I was on my way to doing what I have always wanted to do. But in the light of recent events, I can sincerely say that I absolutely detest the music industry. And I am not alone. As of late I have had this conversation with producers, executives and artists alike in almost every genre and we can pretty much agree on one thing: Christian, Secular, Hip Hop, Country, it doesn't matter. It is all corrupt, full of liars and connivers who could care less about making the industry better and are blind to how bad it actually really is(yeah I am only a little bitter and jaded). So why on earth would I want to be a part of this and furthermore why would I want to help someone else be a part of this?

Because like most things, things don't get better if I just complain about them. Because if I just sit around and complain and am not going to be a part of the solution , I am a part of the problem. Because if I hate the industry so much as to not be a part of it anymore, I might as well leave the world too because it is chock full of the same types of people. Because if I don't fight, I don't win and not only do I not win but I have let them win. And the last reason, I can't imagine doing anything else. A lot of people don't know what they are on this earth to do and I am blessed to know and to be able to do it.

If I let my passion go, that's it and that was the wake up call today. That's when I heard the thud of the rock bottom. However, I have been through this enough times to know that just when you think you are swinging on the final trapeze, another flies out of no where, then another and then another. If the past is any indication of the future, this is probably the turning point where it will all start to make sense.

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-20

Hang On To Your Love,
Toya

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