Thursday, August 31, 2006

My Take on the MTV VMA's (which should stand for Videos Mostly Absent. When was the last time you saw a whole video on MTV?)-Toya

1. Your Boy (Note that Justin Timberlake will here on out be referred to as Your Boy because I am still pissed at how he threw janet Jackson under the bus),Cameron Diaz's young tenderoni, brought "SexyBack" for the show's opener. Let me tell the truth and shame the devil and say that I loved both songs he sang. He makes me so mad but I love his music so stinkin' much. "Dirty baaaaaaaaabe"....
2. Lou Reed is STILL alive?
3. KIM IS BACK!!!! I love Lil' Kim. Is it a surprise that she went to jail for perjury? She told yall what she was willing to do in Mary's "I Can Love You":
"Under pressure I'd lie for you/Die for you?/Cougar by the thigh for you/Right hand high for you"
4. How did James Blunt win????!!!!! He sounds like Jimmy Fallon on too much caffeine to me.
5. If Common doesn't win it is a DAMN shame. But then again so is MTV. See "My Humps" won for best Hip Hop video. Come King Jesus and part the sky.
6. Wonder what Janet Jackson is home doing tonight.
7. If Shakira's Hips Don't Lie, they should've told her that doing this song with Wyclef was a WACK idea.
8. They are now advertising MTV3. How much you wanna bet that they won't play any videos either?
9. Kelly Clarkson won for Best Female Video over Christina Aguileira??? Who is VOTING?
10. Lil' Jon-Two things I hate right now: any grown anus man that will name himself Lil' or Young anything and any song telling me what the hell to do: Lean with it, rock with hit, snap my fingers, drop it, touch it. I have some instructions for you:Leave. Me. Alone.
11. Pussycat Dolls came out for Ludacris and at first glance I was secretly hoping they were the Spice Girls. Not that I actually like the Spice Girls but it would've made the show just that more interesting. By the way, and I am not crazy, Pussycat Dolls actually have some good songs on their record.
12. Why did it say PANTS in huge letters behind Jessica Simpson when she presented the award for Best Dance Video? Were they trying to give her a clue? I know they say she is a ditz but does she need clues that obvious? I was hoping that she did indeed accidentally leave them in the dressing room.
13. What is Madonna (not) eating so I can (can't) it it too? She's 60 isn't she?
15. OK GO has truly been the most impressive thing thus far. I can't even close my mouth i am in so much shock.
16. I am no longer into heroin chic. That is so 90's. I prefer more heroin rehab scruffy ie John Frusciante from Red Hot Chili Peppers (sigh) . Therefore the lead singer of All American Rejects scares me.
17. I love Nick Lachey and support him as he continues to "heal out loud" as my friend Pricilla says. Wait did Nicole Ritchie just say Elvis, The Supremes and Dannity Kane in the same sentence? MTV has a deal with the devil that is UNREAL.
18. Screamed myself hoarse when Pink won for "Stupid Girls".
19. Gasp! Britney and Kevin are coming and it's a commercial so allow me to say this:
Kevin Federline reminds me of that hot guy in school that STAYED in In-School Suspension in high school who you never wanted to admit to anyone let alone yourself that you really thought he was hot because he was so triflin'. If you are too embarrassed to admit this, you no longer have to. That is what BGLU is here for.
20. DAMN them for not announcing Beyonce'! I was doing my laundry! This girl is a monster. Ok the dance sequence? All that was missing was the 5-4-3-2-1 Rhythm Nation countdown. Someone had to shout Janet out.
21. Ok, I am mad at the Lean Wit It Rock Wit It Children's Choir. Who let their child be a part of that? Don't parents listen to lyrics anymore? I have a confession to make about my feelings for T.I. See #19.
22. Oh look it's Jordan Catalano.
23. All American Rejects are ALREADY drunk. Uh uh.
24. Aww, Jay-Z is sitting next to Nas. *Missing Biggie and Pac*
25. Oh my gosh I love Panic At the Disco and so does Tia! I wish they wouldn't have dropped the GD bomb in their song though. The lead singer's voice reminds me of Reese Roper's from Five Iron Frenzy.
26. Does anyone know what a London Bridge is yet and is anyone else mad that Fergie's first single does not have her singing on it?
27. *Dead* at Britney and Kevin. Even I don't have anything to comment on that.
29. Busta's on. Do they have a compilation of his videos on DVD yet? Busta's been killin' the award shows lately.
30. AAAAAHHHHHHH this tribute is awesome!!! Big ups for Missi diggin' up the old trash bag costume and rockin' the finger waves. That's love right there.
31. Umm, Hype is a cutie.
32. Stop making fun of Paris Hilton. To her face anyway.
33. Sang Christina, Sang! Oh Linda Perry is on piano. "And I say Heeeeeey yeeaaah yeaaah yeah yeeeeah" (That was for Tia).
34. Is Jack Black telling a bunch of private jokes cause none of his jokes have been funny to me.
35. Tenacious D are performing and they look like they swallowed Simon and Garfunkel. That was mean. It's getting late.
36. Al Gore just made a reference to Justin Timberlake's "SexyBack" thus making it uncool. I am sure Justin is like "Damn, now I gotta push my album back and come out with another single".
37. Is that Axl at the awards again??? Who is braidin' Axl's hair? For real.
38. Is Jack White singin "Internet killed the video star"?
39. WOW! Security at MTV is sooooo tight evidently. How did the BB King is the King of the Blues guy get on stage at yet another award show?
And ...
40. Does anyone else agree that this was the worst VMA's in years? Let's discuss.

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