Tuesday, August 1, 2006

Into the Great Wide Open- Toya
I remember seeing Tom Petty win a lifetime achievement award and I was like "Really"? Then they started doing a rundown of all his songs like "Refugee", "Mary Jane", "Free Fallin'" and some others and I was like "ooooooooohhhh". I didn't know that I actually liked me some Tom Petty. Favorite: Stop Draggin' My Heart Around with Stevie Nicks. Glad that that hasn't had to be a title of a blog post, thank God.

I remember the first time I showed Tia my new place. It was on a Monday night. I was working late and she called me. "When are you coming home?" she asked. "Not for like an hour. I am working late tonight. Why?" "Cause I am huuuuungryyyyyyyyy. I want us to go to dinner and I am going to pay." "Why?" "Why NOT???" She beat me on that one. Tia admitted that she thought that I was being a bit overly dramatic when I first started to realize that we would no longer be living together. I realized then that she was starting to feel it too.

After we ate, I asked her if she wanted to go see the place where I was moving into because it was rather close. That is one of the benefits of living downtown. I am close to everything I want to be now (except for Tia of course). When she walked in my room she said the first thing that everyone else has:"Oh, yeah. This is you". I knew the room was me too the first time that I walked in it. As I made my first journey down the hallway, I had already thought that no matter what it looked like, I was painting the walls orange. When I opened the door, the walls were already close to perfect orange. The windows are perfectly huge and it almost looks like a loft; Has a walk in closet and I wake up with the most beautiful view of trees and sunshine ever. It's "black hippie" as Tia likes to describe me. It was pretty much a no brainer.

When I gave Tia the tour of my new place, I almost felt like a college student showing off their new apartment to a concerned mother. I felt like I had to let her know that I was in a safe place. She was already asking about the air condition, the locks and such. Talking to my new roommates and asking them questions. It felt good to reassure her that I was in good hands. That sounds so weird, but it's true. She worries and that makes her a good friend. A great friend.

I have never been so in love with my independence ever in my life as I am right now. I feel bad though because I am loving my alone time so much that it seems that I have to force myself to talk to my roommates. They are great people, don't get me wrong. One is an artist, a visual artist and the other is an indie singer. I feel very creatively inspired in that house. I sing more, I am always thinking of things to write, and I even feel like I breathe easier. I realize that being in my old space was so comfortable for me that I could not get anything done. Sure I thought about getting some things done: writing some things, practicing on my turntables, checking out different types of music, getting out and maybe going to the museum...one day. But all it took was for me to go downstairs and see that Tia was watching Friday on USA and my plans were shot down by good ol' crippling familiarity.

It is late and I must force myself to go inside. It's a beautiful summer night and even though Tia and I had a huge deck, I never took time to enjoy it. Not once in 5 years. We had two pools, one that I saw for the first time last year. As much as change can be painful, it is most necessary and I am happier for it.

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