Monday, March 28, 2005

Steal Away- Toya
I have no idea who sings Steal Away but it is one of those songs that you hear on those Time Life "AM Gold" commercials. You know like the Pina Colada song and any song by Air Supply and Ambrosia? I LOVE that music. I'm so weird.

Right now I am sitting at my favorite coffee shop in Nashville and I wish that I could sit here and write all day long. Right across from me is my homeboy Mat who I never see anymore so it's pretty fresh that I get to see him being as though he is going on tour in 3 days. By the way and for the millionth time, go get that Mat Kearney joint "Bullet". If you are disappointed, I will send you a refund. Actually, I won't but I am pretty confident that you will like it.

Why must we work everyday? I am so not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow or any day after that for that matter. I don't know what I am going to do or what career I will have so that I won't have to work everyday but dangitt, this is for the birds. Part of the reason I am here right now is to work on an event we are having at work and another reason is to get my thoughts together for whatever it is I am going to do next. I cannot focus at home at all. It's too quiet. So I will steal away to where there is noise and familiar faces.

I really, really don't know what I am supposed to do at this point. I am this close to giving my two weeks notice tomorrow because I keep getting offered jobs that are like "well, they need you to start tomorrow." I know good and well I can't just run up out of there without giving two weeks. This is where the whole "Step out on faith" deal comes in. Wasn't I between jobs this time last year? Goodness.

What I have learned is that when your life seems like Groundhog Day The Sequel, remember that God brought you out last time. He will always do His part. I'm the one that's suspect.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Somebody's Baby- Toya
"Somebody's Baby" is a song by Eddie Money whose music I used to love as a kid. I don't know why. Then again, I had it really bad for The Cars too. You know, back when MTV stood for Music Television and not for Miscellaneous Television.

"Oh, that is somebody's baby" is a phrase most commonly used by Tia and myself when referring to how young a guy is. Most of the time, Tia is saying it to me because my perception of age is severely screwy. Nobody in my family looks their age, I don't look my age and so I just think that everyone is older than they are. This was a slight problem in my 20's but now that I have this big 3 in front of my age... *sigh. I mean, I really can't tell half of the time.

Looking younger has its advantages but it has some set backs as well. For instance, I have come to the conclusion that I am apparently invisible to two groups of men: a) Black men, no matter what age and b)Men over the age 24. I don't know if I am giving some sort of signal that I only want to talk to white boys that aren't even old enough to rent a car or what, but dang! Then, what makes it so much harder is that I find myself talking to guys that are younger than me and we hit it off really, really well and then the moment of truth comes: "So how old are you?" I used to just make them guess but now I waste no time at all. I remember not too long ago after a much pleasant evening, a guy asked me this and when I told him he fell up against the wall in shock. The reaction that I get when my age is revealed is amazing much like telling a child that there is no Santa Clause.

Living in this town I have come to the conclusion that whoever I date will be younger than me but the question that came up at lunch yesterday with some friends is how young is too young? According to some guys that they talked to, you are supposed to divide your age by 2 and then add seven years. However, these same guys said that it doesn't work for women. Whatever! This concocted mathematic formula would make my minimum age 22. They would have to be a STRONG 22 though and crazy responsible. Truthfully, I would be fine with that as long as everything else was in place. I am crazy old school and I know quite a few guys in their early 20's that are too. However, a lot of the time the hangup about age is not with me, it's them.

Not to mention, the few guys that are around my age or older (there may be a total of 3 in Nashville) that have tried to talk to me are so daggone boring and stuffy. I think this is why I related to Janie in "Their Eyes Were Watching God". Yeah, I want a guy that is mature and responsible but I also want to go dancing and maybe even go fishing at midnight. Funny enough, my grandmother who I am most like in my entire family (we can watch Coldplay together) has had the same boyfriend for at least 20 years and he is 9 years her junior. Truth be told, he is older than her.

So this is my lot, my cross to bear. I would tell you the age of the guy that sparked this whole rant on age but for fear that some of you may be in the midst of eating something and you would choke, I will opt to not do so. Trust me, I felt like I was being punked. It hurts my stomache everytime I think about it. And it is so frustrating but I can tough it out. In the meantime, I'll continue to enjoy being young (and looking younger) and single until God's timing says otherwise.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

I'm A Little Bit Country, I'm a Little Bit Rock and Roll...-Toya

I have finally come full circle in my madness: I now, VOLUNTARILY, listen to country music.

It all started when I started watching the Muzik Mafia show with Gretchen Wilson. She reminds me so much of Ann Wilson from Heart that I bypassed all the twangin' that used to make my ears twitch. Slowly, surely and unbeknownst to me, I was giving in. Last week while I was sick my alarm clock went off to the station that it is always set on. I never noticed how many times they play the same 6 songs every freaking hour. Exhaustedly, I made it across the room and flipped the dial to something else and collapsed back on the bed. I didn't realize that I had switched to a country station and didn't have the strength to get back up and change it so I layed there for a few hours and in no time at all was converted into a country music fan.

The thing that I love about country music the most is the writing. I can sit in my car and wait for a song to go off because they build the stories up so well. And the videos! They are like short films! Either I am really truly fed up with the state of hip hop and R&B or I am just becoming more well rounded. Maybe a bit of both.

This doesn't mean that I am fixin' to go line dancing though. I don't do the Electric Slide so I am sho nuff not going down to the Wildhorse Saloon to get my Tush Push on...not unless Bret Michaels, who Tia and I will see when you go to a live taping of Nashville Star this month, ask me to.

Friday, March 11, 2005

I blame Snoop Dogg for this. Then again, I blame Snoop Dogg for darn near almost everything nowadays. -Toya

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Girls and Boys-Toya
This is one of my top 5 favorite songs by Prince. It's off of Parade, such a great soundtrack from such a terrible movie. Still, if you don't have it, go pick it up from the "wreckastow".

"Tell me what you thought I thought you thought I thought."- Maxwell

I am constantly fascinated by the difference of how men and women communicate. We use a gazillion words while they are sometimes content to only use about 6. I admire that about the opposite gender and often sympathize with them when they are befuddled by our being annoyed with them when they just don't seem to get it. I have no problem admitting that we are the ones that are crazy. Honestly, we get on our own nerves and each others. Lesbianism boggles my mind. I could never be partnered up with another person with "cycles".

What prompted me to write about this was a situation that happened between me and a friend of ours named Luke. Luke is a man's man; mad cool, works way too much and is the best sound man in the entire world. I wish I had a bazillion dollars so that he could be our sound man for every show we have for life. He's absolute perfection. One Saturday, we had a show downtown and he was the sound man for it and not to mention one of the managers of the venue where we were playing. When it comes to the crew (Renee, Nikki All Hype who is Ren's hype girl and myself) I am the most ridiculous at times, thus the nickname DJ Special Needs. I NEED to eat every 4 hours or I space out. I need to take naps but must be awake for at least 2 hours before a show or I am really special to deal with. I need Diet Coke, Mountain Dew or some sort of caffeinated beverage and I need to ask the same questions 5 different times to 10 different people. I really don't know why I tend to act this way but Renee will shoot me one of those "Toya, you have one more time to..." looks and I am on my best behavior for about a good 20 minutes.

On this particular day, I had hit my 4 hour feeding time and was patiently waiting for them to feed us before our show started. They said we were to eat in 5 minutes and that turned into about a half hour. I thought I had brought a snack but switched purses at the last minute and realized that I hadn't. I started getting a little lightheaded and no one knows better than Renee how bad that can be. Mind you, I don't get unfriendly at all, I just confused, my head starts pounding and I say things out loud that I think I have only said in my mind until Renee looks at me and shakes her head.

While patiently waiting for food, I saw that Luke was eating something from the cafe' downstairs. "Whatcha got Luke?" I asked. "Oh a lemon bar." he says, never looking up. Lemon bars are one of my favorite desserts EVER. I used to get them at Starbucks and ask them to put whipped cream on top. It is heavenly. "Oh. I love lemon bars. Is it good?" I asked. "It's amazing. It's huge though. No way I can eat it all." he said as he munched on. This is the thing: I clearly stated at least 3 times that I was hungry. I also added that I loved lemon bars. I asked if they had anymore but I didn't want to get a whole one because we were about to eat soon. To me and most women I have told this story to, that all equals to "Dude, give me some of your lemon bar." And of course, I am not going to ask for a bite. I am thinking that he knows that I am hungry and that I love lemon bars. He should want to give me some of it, right? And isn't that just how we think sometimes? Instead of telling a man what we want we assume that based on all of the words that we used to dance around what we are trying to say without actually saying it, he should know. If he doesn't know, it means that he just didn't want to do it. Why do we think that they think like us? I know Luke would have given me some of his lemon bar if I had just asked him but nooooooo. I wanted him to want to give it to me without me having to ask. This is my rite as a woman.

Frustrated, I went in my pocket and gave Luke $5 to go downstairs and get me a lemon bar and he quickly obliged me as I sat there and sulked. Within 5 minutes we were eating some awesome Asian food and I had long forgotten about the lemon bar until I got to dessert and figured that I would be too stuffed to eat it anyway. "Where is my five dollars?" I thought. I went downstairs and asked the cafe' workers if Luke had gotten my lemon bar. "Oh he tried to" one of them said. "But we were sold out." Now, of course, I want the lemon bar that I just said I was too stuffed to eat and not to mention, my five dollars. Salty as the day is long, I turned around and saw our friend Kim eating the last lemon bar. "Kim!" I said. "You have a lemon bar. I love lemon bars. I wanted to get one but they are all out." "Oh. Go get a fork," Kim quickly offered. See? That's what I'm talkin' about. I didn't have to ask Kim. She knew exactly what I was going for but of course, Kim is a woman.

I ate my half of the lemon bar and got in the escalator only to find Luke lemon barless. He reached into his pocket to give me my five dollars and then he handed me a fork and a knife. "Yeah, they ran out. Sorry." he apologized. "Luke, did you not realize that I was trying to get you to give me some of your lemon bar? " I explained to him, offering to give him some insight on the female psyche. "Yeah, that would have made sense. You can ask Renee. I don't always pick up on the obvious. Sometimes I am just clueless." And cute, I thought. So stinkin' cute.

While walking back to where we were eating, I realized that I was holding a knife and fork in my hand. "Wait, why do I have this?" I thought. I got back to our table and low and behold, there sat the half eaten lemon bar. Awww, Luke. Luke saw that there was a problem, Luke provided a solution. And this is what I love about men. They, (MEN I am talking about here not these jokers that some of yall are letting walk around here getting away with everything), really do want to please us. They want to do the right thing and they want our approval. They just don't always do it when and how we think they should.

Men will understand what women are trying to say the same day that dogs will understand what cats are trying to say. It is impossible. My parents have been married for almost 35 years and my dad will ask me "Do you know that yo' mama did such and such? I don't understand. And when I asked her why, she just said blase' blah blah. I don't get it." And as history and all 25 books in the Mars and Venus series (Mars and Venus in the Workplace, Mars and Venus in the Bedroom, Mars and Venus in Jail after Trying to Choke Each Other) have proven he never, ever will.
Toya's Boyfriend of the Month...Resurrected

I was telling someone a few weeks back that after seeing Mos Def in Something the Lord Made, there was no reason to continue Toya's Boyfriend of the Month. There was no reason to look any further, Mos was it from now on and I was just going to retire the whole bit. And then, this happened...




Jesus keep me near the cross.
This is Constantine Maroulis and he has been hurting my feelings on American Idol for the past couple of weeks but the no turning back moment came when he sang one of my top 3 favorite songs of all time, "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic". I lost my whole entire mind. Did yall see this? Did you see him sing that directly into the camera, both hands gripping the mic like some sort of reincarnated Jim Morrison? This is a problem.

Can we all be real here and act like family? What is it about BGLU's and white boy hair that does "that"? What is it? I don't understand it and I am not sure I want to. This is what gets me off of white boy hiatus every couple of weeks, I swear. Everytime I say "No, that's it. The only thing a white boy can do for me is tell me where the brothas are at", some rocker white boy with Joey Lawrence hair comes along or some skateboardin', skully cap and gotee wearin' joker comes along and puts all kinds of holes in my declaration.

The minute he is off American Idol, I am done watching it. For now, I will be saving my money for the day that the American Idol Tour comes to Nashville. I am not talking about money for tickets. I'm talking about bail money. Don't let me see Constantine on the street.

Monday, March 7, 2005

My Life, my life, my life, my life, in the sunshine- Toya

Turns out that I had the flu AGAIN which turned into a sinus infection. I was so sick that some days I didn't really even get up until about 4:30 pm. I was so delirious that I thought I was calling Renee to get me some water and had never even made a sound. My sinuses were swollen and the only way I could sleep was to crook my finger in my nose to hold the one side open while the other side was all clogged up. Thanks for sharing? Hey, you're welcome.

Being sick all of last week means I will continue to be broke all of next week without some sort of divine intervention. This was also the last straw for me being as though our sick policy at work is WACK and I just can't live with what I am making. Getting a part time job is impossible because they are quite lax with giving us our schedules on time. I like my job and all but you know what? I like to eat too. Soooooo, once again, the job search is on.

One to Watch- Damien Horne


Ever feel like you just talk too much? I know I do. Sometimes I just come away from some situations thinking "Man, I talk a lot. They must think I'm crazy." Or rather, now they KNOW I'm crazy. Oh well. I bring this up because Damien Horne (far left of his bandmates) happens to be roommates with my friend Bobby, who is precious. I love me some Bobby. Damien is part of the Muzik Mafia which I have talked about on our blog and have also mentioned that I have a crazed fascination with the whole concept and TV show. So much so that I told him and recapped everything I knew about it and how awesome it was and how much I love Gretchen Wilson and blah blah blah, ramble ramble ramble, Toya stop talking and BREATHE. When I am passionate about something, I can get somewhat excitable and this usually happens when I talk about music. It wasn't like I was awestruck or anything because honestly I wasn't too cool on Damien when I first met him. It wasn't his fault or anything, it was just that there were a lot of girls drooling around him at the time and it made me severely nauseous. I guess I just figured that he had to be stuck on himself with all of that kind of attention. But not too long ago I actually got to see him without all of the fan like adoration and he really is a cool brotha. And he loves him some Jesus. Check out his website at http://www.damienhorne.com/ "Rain" is my favorite.

Jamie Foxx


Yeeeeaaaahhh Jamie Foxx on winning an Oscar for Ray!!!! I was sick as a dog and sat up all night just for that moment. He has come such a long way. WHY OH WHY is Comedy Central running Booty Call like there is no tomorrow. Can't a brother have his moment? Why you gotta bring up the past?

Here I Go Again
I was so excited last week that I was going to report that I was 100% crush free for about 6 days and then dunh dunh duuuuuuunhhh... I got honest.

For real, I was crush free and it was an amazing feeling. I could listen to love songs, all the love songs in the world and appreciate them again without having to turn them off to keep from daydreaming. Until then I hadn't been crush free since about the age of 2. But then it occurred to me that there are some slight rumblings of some amorous feelings for a certain someone and well, I mean, I'm not dead.

This is not fun for me. It doesn't consume me or anything because my issue isn't a little crush. My issue is The Cycle. I hate The Cycle. The "I like them first, they may not like me or if they do I can only wait to find out" cycle. See it was cool for the first 30 years and now it just seems like a big old waste of space in my heart. I'm over it. He's cool, I prayed about it, we'll see.

Kiss of Life
While Michael Ealy was kissing the fool out of Halle Berry during "Their Eyes Were Watching God" Sunday night my mom called. I answered the phone in a high pitch, cracking voice. "What are you watching?" my mom asked. I told her and she said that she was watching it too and would call me back cause she could tell that I was pretty distracted. I told her that if there was much more tongue hockey, I would probably be turning it off. I maintained however. I LOVED that movie.

There needs to be more black love in television and movies. I am serious when I say that Hollywood is scared of how black people kiss. It's danger. Nothing is more explosive. During my time of being "sick and shut in" I saw a good deal of Oprah. She was talking about Diary of a Mad Black Woman and said "White people, you probably don't realize this but you don't see a lot of black intimacy on television. I don't mean sex. I mean black people being intimate. We do normal things too. We go to dinner. We order salmon." Gabrielle Union said that she would do at least one romantic comedy a year if she could. Why is she not getting the same roles as a Reese Witherspoon or Kate Hudson? *Sigh. Things have changed but they have changed too slowly and the way things are looking it seems that we will be seeing more films with interracial couples before we will see films with black couples. I, of course, am not opposed to seeing interracial couples in film but goodness. Can't two black people fall in love in Hollywood in MODERN day society and not in a slave film?

Wednesday, March 2, 2005

sometimes life happens - tia

Well Toya has been sick and I’ve been on tour (translation: on the road like a champ with my job.) So there has been something of a shortage in the posting areas. I apologize on behalf of the both of us and hope the following statements will at the very least keep you coming back to see what kind of asinine things we can continue to get ourselves into.

Quotes
My friends say some funny things. Toya for instance is known to say funny ignorant things. I once told her that I was going to make her a shirt that said such. The problem is that I too would have to wear the, “I say ignorant things” t-shirt. Anyway, my favorite quotes of the last month were said by and to a couple of friends of mine.

Quote 1
I’m not black but even I knew that wasn’t good.
Rusty – when a second cop car pulled up behind him while the first officer was issuing him a citation for his expired license. The situation did indeed go from bad to worse. He can tell you what happened.

Quote 2
So what do you do for MOC?
Said TO my roommate, the artist also know as
MOC by someone who clearly couldn’t see the HUGE poster hanging at the end of the hall.

Songs I don’t hate
J.LO – Get Right
I feel like I should hate this song on general principle. Who keeps letting her record albums? And who keeps buying them leading her to believe that she can in fact sing and thus causing her to continue to make albums? But I’m not going to front. I have seriously grown to love this song. I wish that I didn’t but I sing (hard) when it comes on. The hook used to annoy the crap out of me but now I can’t wait for it to come on. I could, however, go from now until eternity without ever having to hear the Get Right Remix. Yes, it’s due largely in part to my disdain for Fabolous. But it’s also because it was unnecessary. Anyway, am I the only one who really likes the song? Please someone tell me that I’m not alone.

Justin Timberlake and Snoop – Signs
Okay this song contains a sample from the Gap Band song Early in the Morning. So I think subliminally I was tricked into liking the song. Or maybe it’s because the song could kinda be interpreted as a slight on JT. There’s a line in the song that talks about the girl not wanting “you” but wanting a real man or something like that. It’s funny because ever since Boobgate, JT has been trying to work his way back into the good graces of the black masses. And truth be told, I don’t think a lot of us are having it. Truly, we’re not really checkin’ for Justin like we were before. He was all about some Janet Jackson (Remember the ICON special on MTV? JT yelling, “You taught us how to be fine!!”) But let a boobie fall out and he was Joe Suburbia, pointing fingers and laying blame. Suddenly he’s not as down as we thought he was.

Songs I Love
Amerie – This One Thing
Hotness, Hotness, Hotness…There’s approximately one a year. That song that makes you sit up and take notice. That song that makes you like music again. That song that you have to turn up and bump EVERY SINGLE TIME it comes on, no matter where you are or what you’re doing. Last year it was Crazy In Love. This year it’s Amerie’s This One Thing. I bought the Hitch soundtrack for this ONE song. I don’t do that. (Actually I’ve done that twice in the last week…hmmmm) I usually don’t do that. But this track is so ridiculous…Toya was sick and laying in bed when the song came on. She got out of bed to watch the video. I’m not mad at her. Even djs are getting amped about the song. I’ve been in a couple of different cities and heard the djs get hyped. It’s just one of those songs that makes you feel happy. It’s a definite summer anthem.

Marc BroussardSaturday
I mentioned Saturday because it was the reason I decided to buy the cd, note unheard. I was at the mall in the Toledo looking through cds in FYE. (Random aside: When I was little, I didn’t think Toledo was a real place. Mostly because Toledo was usually preceded by Holy, as in HOLY TOLEDO!! Other cities I didn’t think were real:
Albuquerque – Bugs Bunny was always taking a wrong turn there.
Reseda – Come on Daniel San, where are you really from?
Capistrano – Again, Bugs Bunny was always singing about the swallows coming back there. I just assumed the place wasn’t real.)
Anyway, this song came on and initially I thought it was
David Ryan Harris, John Mayer’s guitarist. But I have all of his stuff and I knew he hadn’t released anything recently. So I walked up to the counter and asked the pierced kid behind the register if he knew who was playing. He listened for a second and said John Mayer. I just shook my head and smiled at this young uninformed MUSIC STORE employee. (I think it should be a requirement that you know and listen to more than one genre of music if you’re going to work at a record store.) He looked perplexed for a moment and then said he would have to ask his manager, the middle aged woman doing price markdowns a few feet away. He yelled over, “Angie, who is this singing?” “Marc Broussard” And then I guess to be a punk he said, “Would that be in easy listening?” Angie looked at him like he’d recently sustained a head injury, “In pop/rock.” Kids have no respect these days and they’re also so close-minded. If I had to guess, this kid’s music collection consists mostly of Metallica and those of their ilk.

Anyway, I digress. This section could also be called Why I Love Southern Boys. I’m not talking about the redneck kinds. I’m talking about the southern boys that say ma’am, open doors, and say things like, “Be good for your mama.” Marc Broussard is that kind of southern boy. I don’t know if it’s because he’s from Lou’se’anna or what but this guy messed me all up with one song. As I mentioned before, I was in FYE and Saturday was playing. I bought the cd having only heard the one song. And I gotta say this southern boy is taking me through it. My favorite tracks of the moment are:

Home – The song begs for a step team.
Saturday – It will make a sistah want to get married JUST so she can sleep late on a Saturday.
Rocksteady – My throat hurts from the car karaoke on this one.
Hidden Track – I don’t know who this song is about and/or for but it is so painful.

Be good for your mama
‘Cause she’ll need a hand to hold
Boy she loves you
More than you’ll ever know

There are rhymes (not 100% sure that that’s the line but that’s what I’m going with for now)
And there are reasons
And times when nothing stayed the same
But you know my love still remains.

You just have to hear it. My just typing the lyrics doesn’t do the song justice. He is singing this song like his whole life depends on it. It really does hurt. I almost feel like I’m prying into his personal life.

He’s doing a show in Philly the week I’m going to be there and don’t think I’m not going to do everything in my power to find out what this song is about. I would go to the show in Nashville, but I’m not there. I’m here…in my own personal torture chamber.


(No, those are not bushes. Those are trees. That is the roof of my hotel and the snow is more than half way up the tree. I hate it here. I know that the bible says that hell will be fire and brimstone. But my idea of hell would be freezing cold with a butt load of snow. Much like Rochester, NY on March 2, 2005. )

Why is Michael Ealy so fine?

He has a new movie with Halle Berry. I don’t know what it’s about it and at the moment I don’t care.

American IDOL…?
Okay I’m hooked. So far I’m not all that impressed with any of the female contestants. I think I’ll have a favourite later in the game. But as far as the guys go, I LOVE me some Bo Bice. He is definitely not the best singer in the contest but he is singing the fool out the songs. I hollered like I was being KILT (aka killed) when he sang Drift Away last week. He moved me so much that I requested the song when I was out last Saturday. I will tell you about that later. (Everything is NOT hot. Everything is NOT awesome. Everything does NOT rock. The lines have been blurred. ) I don’t know if he can win it all, but he’s got my vote.

Wylin’ Out
Why is it that no matter how bourgeois you are, some one can piss you off in such a way that you want to (or get) straight ghetto on them? People forget their roots sometimes. They get real high-saditty. Then someone says something and they just snap. Eyes and neck roll, gum pops, fingers point and at the end of it all, someone’s feelings are really hurt. I pride myself on being somewhat reserved. But I have to admit that there are still people who can bring out the wannabe hoodrat in me. I wonder why that is?

Jessica Simpson is mean….
As y’all know, I’m all kinds of single. It’s cool. But it’s when I come across products like Jessica Simpson’s
Dessert line that I long to be in a committed, long-term, contractually obligated relationship.

I’m not going to front. I was not checking for her stuff. It was too hard to find (no Sephora’s in Nashvegas) and as I couldn’t not sample, I was not interested. However, you can now find Ms. Simpson’s delicious products at Walgreen’s. (I don’t know about you but there are Walgreen’s on every corner here. I think there are more Walgreen’s than churches.) Anyway, last Saturday I had a chance to sample some of the lip-glosses. OOOHHHHHH she is an evil chick. Her stuff tastes like straight up candy. As a recovering lip-gloss addict, trying that stuff was not the wisest choice I could have made. I have refrained from buying any of the products. My reasoning is…what for? One can only lick one’s lips for so long before you look like a perv. But whoever gets me better look out. I’m buying it ALL. The lip gloss, the fragrances, the body frosting…all of it.