Wednesday, November 23, 2005

More Coffee House Musings- Toya

Ok, they are playing house music here and I don't want to go home. House head to the fullest, right here.

I came across a children's book at the library today called The Princess and the Pea. I faintly remembered reading this book as a child and...wait,

Side note: for the second time tonight a guy (albeit a gay guy) has asked me to come sit with him and his friends because I am by myself. Weird. The first guy (who I think may have been gay too) saw me walk in by myself, somehow found me in this corner and asked if I would mind sitting with him and his friends who clearly look no older than 22 and that's pushin' it. Just now, another kid came up to me after walking past about 5 times, told me that I was gorgeous and invited me to come sit with him and his friends to discuss love and relationships and why they suck. If it was 2 in the afternoon, I would entertain the thought but it is now 1 am. I attract some "special" people.

okay, so I kinda remembered this book and flipped through it to refresh my memory. The plot is the prince and his mother the queen go throughout the kingdom looking for a princess for him. One woman wasn't graceful enough, one woman wasn't talented enough and I think one wooman ate too much. Then, during a terrible thunderstorm a woman claiming to be a princess knocks on the door of the castle and asks to spend the night. The queen puts a pea in the bedstand and piles loads of pillows and mattresses on top knowing that a real princess' skin is so delicate that she would surely feel the pea. In the morning, the princess told the queen that she had an awful night's sleep due to her bumpy guest bed proving to them that she was indeed a real princess and they lived happily ever after. CLEARLY a disillusioned man wrote this fairy tale. I was pissed.

Why? Well my question was why on earth did this woman, a PRINCESS, walk all the way to the castle in a terrible thunderstorm to prove to a prince that she can fill his need? It's not like her car broke down and she needed a place to stay. She went there come hell or high water with the intent of landing the prince cause she heard he was on the search. So I asked this question to the children's librarian who after she listened intently, gave me this response:

"You are thinking too hard."

I am sure that this fairy tale rubbed me the wrong way because I was raised to believe that men are the pursuers and somehow that responsibility factors in the ability to be the rescuer. For some reason, this has made me think about a few conversations that I have had and witnessed recently asking "Do women want to be rescued?" The last Sex and the City episode that I watched (I swear, I am giving it up, for real. I'm serious), Charlotte brought this up and the rest of the girls looked like they were going to kick her to the curb. I had a conversation with a few of my female coworkers and one of them said "I KNOOOOOOW that it is taboo to say this. I know this. But, umm, I am going to say it. I think" she paused rather shamefully, "that perhaps...women...oh dear Lord...well, okay...WOMENWANTTOBERESCUEDTHEREISAIDIT". She blurted this out and quickly covered her mouth waiting for us to disagree. Not one of us did.

As of this day, I am 100% crush free. If you have read this blog long enough, you know that that statement is almost the equivalent to a crack addict saying that they are a week sober. Thank you Jesus! So as of now, I am not missing, waiting or longing for the company of a man. Not saying that I don't want that company, but I don't feel any kind of way about it at this moment. Do I know that I desire to be rescued? I think that I, like most independent, single, socially active women, at least want the option to be rescued. My dad has always said that it is better to have and not want than to need and not have. (Ok, I need to stop flirting with boys at the coffee shops. I am DEAD wrong. It's too late for that. It's winter and they are busting out the knit skully caps. Help me Holy Ghost and hallelujah for cold weather.) The other day when I locked myself out of the car I had to keep myself from calling any guys, even my brother. I didn't want them to come get my keys out the car, I wanted to be emotionally rescued. I don't have a man right now so I feel the need to curb those feelings when they arise. Sometimes I don't have to. For instance, we had a show a while back and I was stressed out. They were running late, we had no soundcheck and came across some unexpected technical difficulties. I was a mess. I started walking over to a table of friends and there was Mike sitting on a stool with his arms out to give me a hug. I gave him a hug and stood in front of him venting about how I did not want to be the bad guy but I needed to be a little bit more aggressive with people about getting soundchecks done correctly and on time. He looked into my eyes every attentively, offered to be the bad guy and asked what he could do. Well, he couldn't do anything of course and even if he could I wouldn't have let him. This is my situation to handle, my business, not his. However, it did feel good to vent to a guy who I know has my back. Emotionally, he rescued me.

So I am leaving this discussion open to anyone reading this: If every woman wants to be rescued, what exactly is it that we want to be rescued from?

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