Saturday, July 16, 2005

So Much To Say-Toya & Tia...& KC

I actually appreciate hate mail. The thing about hate mail is that it usually causes Tia and I (after initially infuriating us) to reevaluate this site and make sure that it accurately reflects who we are. It helps to open discussion about what it is that we have been accused of: is it fact or is it opinion?

I write this in reference to two posts that we have received by someone named Lea (Look under Tia's "Tell the Truth and Shame the Devil" and my "Something to Believe In"). Read them for yourselves if you can stomach them. Tia will not read it and I'll have her explain her reasons. As for me, I don't want to respond directly to Lea but I would rather address those that faithfully read our site.

After calling us "black bitches" with "black nigger asses" she asked "why do you love white boys so much"? I've been wanting to address something for a while and this has definitely opened the door for what I have been longing to say: White boys are NOT "the prize". We have received emails with pictures of black girls asking "aren't I cute enough to date a white guy?" I have mentored teenage girls that have told me that they want to date white boys because they seem to be sweeter, more respectful, and you don't have to worry about them being on drugs or having bad tempers. That is so contrary to my experience. The brothas I crushed on back in the day, minus a few thugs, were some of the most respectful and respectable men you have ever met while quite a few of the white boys I crushed on were the druggies and would knock your ass clean out if they even THOUGHT you gave them a reason to.

White boys are not something to "attain". And for the record, Ross, Mr. Beautiful Surprise and Guy A are all black and hopefully some day, so will my husband be also. And if not, I am fine with that. But I won't think that I have achieved something monumental if I marry a white man. I don't seek them out and I don't think that I am "extra special" because a few of them happen to dig me.

There is so much more that I can respond to but I really don't need to. However, I received an email from KC and I think that his comment is a sufficient enough response. Read it below and you will see why:

Wow, Lea...that's some of the most ignorant stuff I think I have ever heard.I guess some people have really slow saturdays and need something fill their time. I truly hesitated to comment on your post, but...And please know that I am writing this hoping that your posts we're a joke...albeit an unfunny one.

I am a white man. I am PROUDLY married to a beautiful black woman. We havetwo gorgeous children. My family (mother and all) LOVE my wife dearly. My wife has a better relationship with MY mother than her own mother. My wife is not fat, she shaves her pits (unlike many, if not most European (WHITE)women), and she works out at least 4 times a week.

You got me on the hair thing, though...my wife has lovely, long locs. Funny thing, though, I know a TON of white girls without "NATURALLY" straight hair, so I don't know if that's even worth bringing up.

Lea, the world over, "white" people are not the majority and you would do well to read a book or go back to school or SOMETHING to get your mind off of whatever is causing you to write something so asinine as these posts.

I'm sure if white women, like yourself, are so glorious as you say, then don't worry about Tia and Toya and their pursuits...I'm sure all these whiteboys will come running to you. Of course, it could backfire and black women will start taking all the white men and white women be left to search elsewhere! Cause you know there's SUCH a shortage of white men in the US :D

I know Toya and Tia personally and when a white man (or any other man) takes either of them for a wife, he has found a GOOD thing and is greatly blessed!

I (tia) knew something was up when Toya called me and told me that we have hate mail. If it's the run of the mill hate mail she'll mention it in passing with the assurance that I will read it at my leisure. So when she called I knew this particular offal laden email was going to be a trip to say the least.

She filled me in on the high (low) points and told me that I had to read it when I got home. But then she said it was from a white girl. It was at that moment that I knew that I COULDN'T read it. Why you ask....? Remember a few posts ago Toya got some pictures from Guy A and she knew that she shouldn't have opened them but she did? Well it's kinda like that.

Back in the day I couldn't not STAND white girls. To me they were the epitome of the blue eyed devil. White boys I had no problem with. But white girls were the bane of my existence. They hated me so I in turn made their lives miserable. It was my business to make them suffer. Be it through dating their finest male representatives, blowing them out of the water in every sport imaginable or getting better grades than all of them combined. Whatever it took, I was there to make them miserable. It was wrong and I knew it. But I didn't care.

Fast forward a few years and a renewed heart and not only do I NOT live to torture white girls but one of the women who has made the most profound impact on my life is white. A few of my closet friends are white women and God has allowed me to see what it truly means to love beyond color. It sounds corny, I know. But I honestly didn't think it was possible until God FORCED me out of my hate. All that to say, from jump I had to make a conscious effort to not let the idiotic ramblings of one troglodyte give place to a hate that God has, thankfully, delivered me from. It was just easier to not read it and be at peace, than to get all pissy and let the imbecilic thoughts of one taint the work that God has done in me.

As far as the white boys go, I make NO apologies for liking them. I have spent the majority of my formative years defending the choices that I have made when it comes to dating and I REFUSE to do it any longer. I will kick it with the whomever has the guts to holla. The fact that as of recently it's been white boys is not of my own design. Trust Me. My current crush is Terrence Howard. (For those of you who are a bit slow TERRENCE is a BLACK MAN.) But make no mistake, I have no problem lettin' you know that I will date whom I want, when I want, where I want....Patna'

And just for the record LEA, I'm fine as hell. All the white boys say so.

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