Monday, July 25, 2005

How did we get here - tia
I started writing this on Friday. And now (insert heavy sigh here) there is so much more. I guess you could call it part 2 of what Toya wrote below, but it will probably seem disjointed until I finish.

You ever been somewhere and the situation goes horribly awry and you're left wondering what the heck happened and how did we get here? Yeah that was me. Yesterday on into the wee hours of the morning.

So my birthday is today. For those of you wondering, I'm 25. Shut UP!!!!! I wanted to have a huge bash type thing but it didn't pan out. So I got a handful of my friends together and we decided to go eat at Carraba's. The friend that was most excited about going, bar none, was Tag. He actually had the night off, which was rare, and he couldn't wait to come. At least until the day of. I get a cryptic call from him mid-afternoon saying that he can't come and that he's really sorry. Of course I want to know why. He said he'd rather tell me in person and that he's coming by the house. (This can't be good.)

He shows up with a beautifully extravagant gift and already I'm on high red alert. Something is not right. Do you hear that faint whistling sound in the distance? That's the sound of a bomb being dropped on me.

So it turns out that Tag has been dating a girl for the last few weeks. He met her at a party that I dragged him to. I met the girl, and I gotta be honest, I didn't think she was all that. Cute, but a little on the ditzy side. But she seemed nice enough and if that's what he likes then more power to him. The problem was not that he was dating someone but that he hadn't told me. We always talk about how we tell each other everything...I mean within reason. So this was a complete and utter shock to me. But nothing was more shocking than the reason that he hadn't told me about, let's call her, Skipper. He said, and I quote, "I didn't know how you would take it and I don't really know how I feel about her." Huh? Maybe the discussion we had not too long ago about us being FRIENDS was not abundantly clear to him. I've been known to talk in circles and maybe I wasn't being coherent when I said that I love him as a BROTHER. Maybe that's why he thought that I would be in a state of flabbergastation at the thought of him dating someone other than me. Whatever the reason, I was floored 1.) by the fact that he'd been hanging out with this girl this long and 2.) that I knew nothing about her. And I let him know.

After we got over the initial awkward moment, he proceeded to tell me that the reason that he wasn't going to be able to make it was because Skipper had gotten the night off and wanted to hang out with him. He, knowing I knew nothing about her, didn't think that I would be down with her coming to dinner. So he told her that the two of them would go out instead. Wait...WHAT?!?! This is when I was like who are you and what have you done with Tag? So you're blowing me off to hang out with Skipper, the girl you just told me likes you way more than you like her because you thought I wouldn't be down with her coming? WHO ARE YOU?!?!? After assuring him that there aren't too many people I don't like, I informed him that if it meant that he would come out with us, Skipper was more than welcome to join us. What was I thinking?

All of my friends know about Tag, so I tried to give them the heads up on Skipper. The look of awe on all of their faces was identical. "What girlfriend?" was the question of the moment. One of my friends leaned over and said, “You know, I try to avoid drama. But it just keeps poppin' up everywhere. "

In the words of Ferris Bueller, it was so choice. It was especially great when Tag2 showed up. Good times. And by good I mean, what the heck is going on here?!?!?! I guess it’s good that neither Tag knows that he's Tag...well Tag 2 might but it doesn't really matter because it's just not the same as Tag 1. Tag 2 is my buddy, my pal, my retarded friend. Tag 1 is that boy.

My friends are loud, raucous, and outlandish…I love them for it. We are in the back corner of the restaurant cracking up about everything from Brian McKnight's ability to over sing every ballad to the beauty of marital relations. (A couple of our friends just got married. They're both REALLY happy.) We are so loud in fact that the table behind us got reseated. But as much fun as I was having I have to admit that I was a little uncomfortable. Mostly because Tag and Skipper just looked so uncomfortable. He'd chime in every now and then but he wasn't the non-stop talker that I'm used to. I would find out later that he just wasn't comfortable being around all of my friends AND Skipper. He didn't feel like he could be himself with her. Sorry, quick question, why are you dating her if you just like her "okay"? Do you really think it’s cool to be with someone you can’t be yourself around?

As it was a school night people begin to make their exits around 10 or so. Tag and Skipper have long since bounced. So when my phone told me that Tag was calling I ASSUMED it was because he wanted to say he had fun and to wish me a happy birthday. You know what they say about assuming.

Yeah, he was on the way back to the restaurant. Apparently, he gave Skipper some excuse and dropped her off so that he could hang with me. Am I the only one that sees the problem? He shows up just as I'm filling the remainder of the people in on, "who was the girl with Tag?" Funny how we were all going to go to Verago but only he and I ended up there. EVERYBODY bailed.

Tag is Italian. So he can drink. So when he started in on his 4th dirty martini, I didn't think anything of it. That is until he started talking about our kids. "Our kids would be BEAUTIFUL. They would make all of the other kids jealous because they would be so hot. " And then there was, "I would live in California again. But only with you." (He knows I eventually want to live out west. Good boy for listening.) And let's not forget, "You know, you are soooooo beautiful." But my absolute (least) favourite was, "We get along sooo much better than she (Skipper) and I do. I really want her to break up with me." Hmmmm, I'm sure if she could hear you, that wouldn't be a problem.

But if she had any reservations, they'd all disappear if she could see the way you just kissed me on my forehead. Now ladies, I know that I am not the only one in this boat. You ever have a guy kiss you on the forehead in such a way that you just want to melt? It's not the innocent sweet kiss on the forehead like your father used to give you. It's the full, prolonged, lingering kiss on the forehead that's accompanied by the inhale of the scent of your Pantene for coloured girls hair care products and the, "mmmm" sound effect. I could have KILLED him.

Now I'm mad and hurt. I'm mad because he crossed the line on SO many levels. So basically you think that it's okay to mentally cheat on your girlfriend...with ME? I'm mad because he won't man up and break up with a girl that he clearly doesn't like all that much. Grow a couple, stop worrying about "hurting her feelings" and dump the chick. What do you think will hurt her more stringing her along until it gets so bad that she leaves or ripping the band-aid off now letting her know that you're just not that into her and letting her get on with her life? And I'm hurt because he thought I would be down for...well whatever. I'm sure that I could be reading more into the situation than there is but he was acting like Skipper didn't exist. That is not cool. Period. Because if he would do that to her, what makes me think that he wouldn't do that (or more) behind my back. I mean, look at Jude Law. (Who, by the way, is OFFICIALLY off the favourite Brit Boys list for cheating on Sienna Miller. He will be replaced by Jonny Lee Miller, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers or Cillian Murphy. Although I think the latter 2 are Irish. But whatever, Jude's off the list.)

By the time we head out I cannot WAIT to get home. But not before I tell him what I really think of him. I love him, but that sugar honey ice tea is not cool and I let him know as much. And because my feelings are hurt and because I thought it was the best thing to do, I told him that I didn't think we could hang for a while. The temper tantrum that ensued was about an 8 on the Richter scale. He was not having it. He thought I was being too rash. (You just told me that you wanted to be with me and not Skipper.) He told me that we should sleep on it. (You just laid the forehead kiss on me. And you KNOW how I feel about touch. More on that later.) And he assured me that this wouldn't change our friendship. OOOOOKAY......It's like that part in All Dogs Go to Heaven when Charlie winds his life clock to go back to earth... YOU CAN NEVER COME BACK!!!!

Try as I may, I just couldn't get him to understand why I needed my space. And he just wouldn't give it to me anyway. I guess when I said I'll call you when I get back from Atlanta, that didn't really register.


And because this post is already SOOOOOOOOOO long and I have to go home, I will pick this up at a later time.

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