Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Moves and rumours of moves
by tia

So the superhero, Renee, moved out last week. It didn’t even seem real. Some of her friends came over to help her move her stuff out. Toya didn’t move from the couch and I stayed sprawled on the floor pillows as she hauled her things down the steps. It was only later that we realized that we weren’t helping, not because we are lazy good-for-nothing louses, but because it all didn’t seem real. In our minds she wasn’t going anywhere. The whole situation was rather surreal. And I know she only lives down the street, but for some reason it still doesn’t feel right. It’s like I broke up with someone.

I do not even want to think about what’s going to happen when Toya moves out. If Renee leaving was like a break-up, then Toya leaving is going to be like a divorce. A very messy divorce. A War of the Roses divorce. Just ugly and painful. Necessary, but still painful.

I know that some of y’all are wondering, “If y’all are that close, why are you splitting up?” The thing is…we have to. Our lives have begun to go in completely different directions. I think in some ways, we’ve become so dependant on each other that we don’t have any more room for growth as individuals if we stay in the same place. Renee’s music is taking off. Toya is her dj and will probably starting school in the fall. And I’m moving out of state. (More on that later.)

I think in the beginning we’d all said that the only way that one of us was moving out is if someone was getting married. Almost 4 years later, we’re different people, with different goals and different callings. And although the marriage pact was a good idea in theory, it wasn’t the plan that God has for us now.

I cannot front like I’m not all kinds of sad. But I know that it’s time to bounce. I have to take a step of faith and leap. And danggit I’m scared. But I know that God is going to catch me. So, for those of you who have asked, pending job approval I will be moving to NYC sometime at the end of the year. I mean, where else is a supermodel in training supposed to go BUT the fashion capital of the world. My job has an office in Manhattan and I know a lot of really cool people who moved up there to be a part of our sister church that was planted after 9/11. I have a big dream for myself and an even bigger vision of what God wants to do in the area of fashion. And I know that I can only do so much here in Nashville. So as soon as I can get the transfer approval and find an apartment, I’m out like kulaks.

I will do my best to keep y’all posted on the progress. I will not be as my friend Lisa said, the girl who cried move. If it ain’t gonna happen, y’all will be the first to know.

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