Sunday, April 4, 2004

What's Been Going On- Toya

This is by far the scariest time of my life. Without going into much detail, I may venture into artist management again. Okay I am. It's just weird for me to say that. I have been in love with the music business since I was a little girl. I would read the liner notes of every album my parents bought me and wanted to be an A&R rep at CBS because "that is where Michael Jackson worked." I never really wanted to be a perfomer even though I had a modest amount of talent singing and dancing wise (With today's standards I could be 3X platinum which is not saying much at all). It was always my dream to help other artists dreams come true.

I am queen of the hookup. I can't tell you how many friends I have gotten on tours, out of record deals and sheisty contracts and given great advice on the business to. As much as I hate it, the music industry is my passion. I swore I would never get into management again because I thought that was what God wanted and I was right in a sense. It wasn't so much a "no" He was giving me but a "not now".

When I started managing close to 10 years ago, I was a totally different person. I was in the clubs trying to play big girl and in this business, sharks see right through that. I was way too insecure and probably would have gone clinically insane. To make a crazy long story short, looking back I see why there was a hold on my dream. I had so many things to learn about myself and about the business. Things in me had to change. I have NO problem asserting myself now, almost to a fault. So here I go again. I am so scared. I heard a minister give a great sermon on fear and he said something that stuck with me. He said "Do it afraid." If we waited to not be afraid, we would never reach our destiny. Living our life's dreams don't come without a fight and most often the fight is against ourselves and our own disbeliefs.

If you are reading this and there is something itching inside of you that you have always wanted to do but are apprehensive to do it, I encourage you to read "The Dream Giver" by Bruce Wilkinson. Most people have a few things that they are good at doing and can make a living at but everyone has that thing that they were BORN to do; something that just comes naturally to them and with just some development and a go get 'em attitude they can be living their dream. I love management so much that I would do it for free if I could. Everyone should have a job that they feel that way about.


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