Friday, April 30, 2004

What Are You Willing to Do Without?-Toya

From Ocean's Eleven (our favorite movie in the house)
Danny Ocean: Does he make you laugh?
Tess: He doesn't make me cry.

My mom is convinced that I need security. We were discussing a friend of mine who my mom hasn't met yet but would really like to call him son-in-law soon and I told her that he isn't "edgy" enough. She replied "You don't need edgy. You've done edgy. You need security." I'm all for security, really I am but I don't know. I obviously have a lot more growing up to do.

I recently ran into a friend of mine (guy) who I used to have a big crush on and Tia informed me that we are so much alike that if we were together, it would be a tornado. "You are cold air, he is hot air. Do you know what happens when they get together?" I flunked science many of time so of course I had no answer and looked very bewildered. "It forms a tornado". She is so wise.

So he is dating a girl right now who is so opposite of him. "She's a woman! I have never dated a woman before. She has a degree, she has a real job, she's older than me, and it is a long distance relationship. I don't get it. She's so stable." He is in a band, travels all the time and is a bundle of juvenile excitement. For all intents and purposes, he is a child. I mean, he is a grown man, but much like myself he is a big kid.

Good girls like bad boys. It's the truth. You got Joe Security in one corner and Tommy Thug in the other and most likely, Tommy Thug has got our attention. Or if you are like me, you got Joe Security in one corner and Mikey Musician in the other. I don't know how important it is that the person I am with is in the same industry or not. Because I am so engulfed in it and it is my passion, that could be a good thing. But because I AM so engulfed in it, do I really want to come home to that? It's really not my decision to make right now so I can't sweat it.

So the question is, what are you willing to do without? Like a car, some things are optional while other things are standard. For me, being with someone who doesn't love Christ is like buying a car without an engine. That is a no go. However, if he is not in the industry and let's say he is an archaeologist (I am sure I spelled that wrong) is like not having power windows. I can do without power windows for now (my car doesn't have power windows) however, I am patient enough now to wait and save up because sometime down the line I am trading that puppy in for a car with some power windows and that is my fear when it comes to settling down. This past week I went to a lot of shows and did a lot of industry schmoozing and was thinking that if I was with Mr. Settled, it would be really hard to be faithful. This is why commitment scares the hell out of me.

Thank God I don't have to make a decision right now so once again there is no spoon. I couldn't handle it right now anyway. There is too much to do.

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