Wednesday, March 17, 2004

RaNdOm ThOuGhTs
bY tIa

Customer Service is Dead
I needed change for $10. Instead of asking the woman behind the counter for “one 5, 4 ones and 4 quarters” I just bought a pack of gum. I handed her the ten and she looked at me like I’d just run over her dog. Then she asked, in a right surly manner I might add, “You don’t have change?!” You know what…NO I DON’T.

And then there was the woman at the hotel. All I wanted was a bottle of water. The one in the room was $2.50, a mite pricey in my opinion. So I went down the lobby to see if I could find a cheaper bottle. Unfortunately the bottles downstairs were half the size of the one in my room but just as costly. I kindly asked the desk clerk if she would mind adding the one from my room to my bill. She told me that it would be added when housekeeping came up the next day. Now try to follow me. If I check out before housekeeping comes and adds the expense anus water to my room charges, the bill that I will get at check out won’t be accurate, thus making the expense report that I do when I get back to office inaccurate as well. “Well, yes” she said. Ummm…then why don’t you just add it now so that when I check out everything can go on the AMEX at one time. “Well, housekeeping will do it when they come up tomorrow.” “I’ll be gone by then.” (Meeting across town at 10, you see) Curtly and with eyes heavily rolling, “Do you just want me to add the water to your bill now?” Am I in the freakin’ Twilight Zone? Wasn’t that the first thing out of my mouth? And why is it such a PROBLEM for you to do your freakin’ job? Add the bloody water to my bill and do it with a smile…

In case you’re wondering, NO, I didn’t say that. Thought it though, which is just as bad.

Am I asking too much? I’m not a demanding customer. I don’t ask for a lot. When I go to Starbucks I do order a tall decaf caramel frappucino with one pump of hazelnut and no whip cream, but that’s usually the most complicated request I make for the month. But apparently service with a smile went out with jelly shoes and finger-penned jeans.

Okay it’s gone too far

I’m just a girl
There are times when I hate being a girl. Girls can be catty, insecure, destructive, flighty and desperate. I found myself being one of the preceding adjectives at least once in the last month or so. I hated girls growing up. In grade school I liked boys because they had the cooler toys and got to go camping in Boy Scouts. (Now you couldn’t PAY me to sleep outside on the ground. Roughing it is staying in a hotel that doesn’t have room service.) In junior high and high school, I preferred the company of guys because for the most part they never tried to steal your boyfriends, didn’t talk about you behind your back, and pretty much accepted you the way you were. Most of them didn’t care that you could out sprint them in the 50-yard dash. The only down side to being one of the guys is that you were one of the guys. By the time I got to college I was convinced that most girls were from the devil and they hated me. I even had a shirt that said, “Chicks Hate Me.” I think I shunned girls because I didn’t want to be like them. Girls truly DID have cooties and they were contagious.

Alas, somewhere along the way I let my guard down. First it was dresses, then it was make-up and then it was all down hill. I have been jealous, spiteful, vindictive, mean-spirited, pompous and judgmental. And it was all in the name of femininity. I have lost all cool points giggling like a ninny around a boy and I am not proud of it. I have made a mockery of what it means to be a double-X chromosome individual.

Well, today is a day of reckoning. No longer will I buy into the lie that says that I have to be a dense, backstabbing, twit to be a girl. Never again will I hamstring my fellow chica to catch a boy’s eye. Desperation is not attractive. And if anyone catches me doing something unbecoming of the gender, feel free to throw rocks at me.

Cash Money Trash
Some one at work was talking cash money –ish the other day. This poor uninformed soul ignorantly stated that he could, are you ready for this, whoop me at Need For Speed: Underground. Ala Bernie Mac in Ocean’s Eleven, “You betta talk to him.” Somebody better let him know. Don’t let the girlie clothes and a make-up fool you. Bring it on. Any time, anywhere. Me and my ridiculously tricked out RX-7 will MAKE YOU CRY. Actually, it’s time to trade my car in. So I’ll get back to you on which car I will be driving. It will be the car furthest in front of you.

If you’re in the mood for further embarrassment, feel free to challenge my roommate to a game of Tekken. I would love the opportunity to prance around you singing, “You got beat by girls. You got beat by girls.”

I was watching High Fidelity on Sunday with Toya. Do guys really think like that?

No, Sweetheart
Don’t you love it when you meet someone who has been misinformed about themselves? Someone at some point and time led them to believe that they’re bad anus. But you know someone told them wrong. Oh I love that. I met a girl like that the other in, of all places, Claire’s. Okay first off you’re in CLAIRE’S for crying out loud. We’re both looking at hot pink puffy glitter pens and mini-Hello Kitty book bags. But all the teeth sucking when I’m in your way and heavy breathing when I pass by you, is so unnecessary. I don’t know who told you, but the told you wrong. We live by the wish factor…I wish you would….

(I spend a lot of time praying about my attitude. For the longest time I wanted people to turn the other cheek…so that I could punch them in that one too.

Random Question
When will I finally realize that I'm not 22? For some reason I can't seem to get my mind to wrap around the fact that I'm didn't just leave college. If I didn't know how old I really am I would think I was 22. Does this feeling ever leave? Not that I want to feel old. But I would like to stop feeling like I'm playing "grown-up."

One more thing…
I leave for London 2 weeks from today. But I need some help. In the movie What A Girl Wants Amanda Bines (sp?) goes shopping with her dad at what appears to be a street market down by the Thames. Does ANYONE know what area of the city that is? How do I get there? Which tube do I need to ride to get there? Help a sistah out.

Kenny Loggins Rules!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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