Monday, January 26, 2004

Hi, my name is…
By tia


So what is up with guys not being MEN? I know that’s a blanket statement and I know it’s not all guys but it seems to be a real epidemic here in Nashvegas. Allow me if you will to paint you a picture. I was sitting in Starbucks yesterday with Toya. We were discussing plans for the new and improved BGLU website. If it doesn’t get us on Oprah then there is no justice. Anyway, there was a rather handsome young man sitting at a table not too far from ours. He appeared to be studying about financial matters. I applaud him for that because as a whole most people our age don’t understand the importance of a 401(k). It’s free money people. If you have the opportunity to become vested, DO SO. Now back to the handsome young man. As he sat reading his book on 401(k) for dummies I thought for sure I caught his eye. It’s not that I was staring but he was in my direct line of sight. I couldn’t really miss it. But I didn’t want to assume. Because who’s to say that he wasn’t looking out the window past me at some OTHER drop dead gorgeous girl. (For those of you who are new to the site, NO, I’m not that vain. I’m being, how you say, facetious.) But as the afternoon wore on I caught him looking. A Lot. And you can’t blame him. I do the same thing. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I just can’t stop looking at me either. (I’m sorry. I had to use that line. A friend of my said that to me when I was telling her this story and I cracked up laughing at the thought.) Now Toya and I were having a good time. Anyone within earshot would immediately know that we are the friendly, approachable, possibly in need of some sort of psychological attention kind of girls. I would have talked to the boy if he’d come over. But it was not to be. I was left with an afternoon of sideward gazes. Now maybe I’m antiquated in my thinking but I’m just not the kind of girl who goes running after boys. I used to be. I saw someone I wanted and I went after him with great fervor until he was mine, usually only to find out that he wasn’t nearly as cool as I thought he was when I didn’t know him. But now I think guys should be the pursuer. Step up and be a MAN. You think I’m cute? Come and say so. You want to know if I’m complete idiot? You’re not going to know unless you talk to me. You spent at least 2 hours looking at me and then you don’t say anything? What’s up with that?!?

In his defense, Toya made a very valid argument. We do live in the south. I am black. He was white. Things down here move a little slower than they would in, say, New Jersey where some white guy basically teleported down a one-way street to holla at Toya. You have to get her to tell that story. But in my mind all he had to do was look at me. I was wearing a Bobby’s World t-shirt from Hot Topic and I was sitting in STARBUCKS in Brentwood, the Orange County of Nashville. I’m obviously not the epitome of the “ ’round the way girl.” I would have at the very least talked to him.

I wish it were just me. But I’ve heard quite a few of my female counterparts say that they encountered similar situations. Guys giving off signals that they might be interested but not doing anything about it. One of my friends had a guy tell her that he wouldn’t ask a girl out unless he knew that she would say yes. That is so WEAK. Rejection doesn’t kill. It only maims. I’m kidding. But seriously, no one likes to be rejected. But being turned down is not the end of the world. Besides, what are the odds that you will ever see that girl again anyway? And if she does turn you down then it’s her loss. I mean unless she’s dating Orlando Bloom or something. Then you had no shot to begin with. “No”, “No, thank you”, “Get lost cretin!” are all character building words. They will make you stronger. Plus, she might just say, “Yes.” I mean look at Jermaine Dupree. There is no reason that anyone in their right mind would have thought he had a shot with Janet Jackson. I know I didn’t, and still don’t. I think the whole thing is a farce. I won’t believe it until I see it with my own eyes. And I don’t mean on television. I mean I need to run into them in the grocery store. But just think of all the guys that are sitting out there thinking, “You mean I really DID have a shot with Janet Jackson?!?” You don’t know until you ask.

So if by some chance 401(k) guy is reading, next time come on over and say “Hi.” I promise I won’t bite.

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