Saturday, January 31, 2004

MOTORIN' !!!!- Toya

Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so. You know how I else I know? Because I have found an internet radio station that ONLY PLAYS POWER BALLADS!!!! Go to and go under the Rock section to hear all the big haired love songs your little heart desires. I have heard "Babe" by Styx, "Is This Love" by Whitesnake and "Give Me Something to Believe In" by Poison. All I need to hear now is "Sister Christian" and it is a done deal. By the way they have a Brat Pack radio station now that plays New Wave like New Order, Psychedelic Furs and Simple Minds. *sigh* God is love.

So Tia and I were just talking about the 80's and I don't know if the Jordan Knight show has sparked all of this nostalgia but I am doing a lot of reminsicing. Tia and I have both said that during the 80's our hair feathered better than any white girls we knew and we didn't need to go through the whole bottle of Aqua Net to get our tidal wave bangs just right. Remember them? Lifting the front of your hair with a rat tail comb to get that bang up there? I'm from Jersey so you know I had it real bad. BGLU's, even though we tried to save the ozone layer with non-aeresol hair spray, water is not our friend when it comes to relaxed hair. Tia and I can't remember the last time we had a bang. I don't even know how I would make one.

This week has been a trip. I guess with all of this reminiscing, I am dealing with the fact that I am really getting older. It is finally happening. After looking 20 for so long, I am now faced with the signs of aging and everyone elses. Sure I can clown Jordan Knight but I've seen myself without concealer and let me tell ya, it ain't pretty. It is darn near a 20 minute ritual in the morning putting my makeup on now. It's not that I wear a lot of makeup it is just that I wear strategically placed makeup. A little highliter here, some contrasting powder there...I have to admit, it is becoming somewhat of a fixation. I went to Walmart to get some foil and walked out with anti-aging wrinkle eye cream. I can't believe it has come to this.

Brad Pitt is 40. Johnny Depp, also 40. Madonna is in her 40's. Michael Jackson is darn near 50. Where did all the time go?

Friday, January 30, 2004

I Should Be in Bed-Toya

I slept for 12 hours last night and I really needed. I should be in bed now but I guess I feel guilty for sleeping so much last night. Forget it, I am just plain lazy. I told my mom that I was a procastinator and she said "No Toy. Procrastinators EVENTUALLY do things. You just don't do anything." I think about all that I have to do and I get so overwhelmed that I am darn near comatose. I just become this vegetable sitting on the couch watching the idiot box. This is all so I don't think about all that I have to do.

And even though I don't want to complain, this is a blog and darnit I am going to go for it. Umm, I don't think I am pre-menstrual but let's just say I am for today.

Toya's Gripes:
1)Thanks to my "5 days Atkins, weekends eat like food is going out of style" diet, I have lost more weight. I just got into a pair size 10 jeans and they are already getting baggy. This is fine except for the fact that I never had a butt to begin with and it looks like my body has chosen to burn off the little bit of fat I had back there making it way too embarrassing for me to not wear long shirts over my butt. It looks like my butt has been blown off in some unfortunate accident. I swear I am getting one of those Buns of Steel tapes next time I go to Target.

And speaking of things that don't make me a "typical black girl..."

2) BGLU's, ever get tired of your "White girl" voice? You know what I mean. I was listening to myself at work today and GOODNESS. I guess we can call it the suburban dialect if we must try to be so politically correct but we all know that it's the "oh my gosh and jeepers" white girl voice. I remember being younger and my dad used to threaten to drop me off in the middle of the ghetto because he said I was an oreo. That was pretty painful. You can't help being from where you are from. You have to be yourself. So I shouldn't be embarrassed by it I guess. It is not going to go away.

3) I do not want anymore single/unavailable/incompatible guy friends. Enough already. I have filled my quota thank you very much.

4) What am I going to do when Friends goes off? I can't bear it. No more Chandler? This is what makes television so dangerous. One can become emotionally attached to people WHO DO NOT EXIST. So sad. This is why I refuse to watch The OC. I can't be suckered into that. However, I have no problem being suckered into...


Let it go down that Bernadette Cooper is the baddest chick EVER!!!! She is our new hero. You know you bad if you walk into a club and say "Somebody slap me cause I know I'm looking good". They are reuniting Squeeze tomorrow and I am ECSTATIC. "Take it to the bridge, throw it overboard, see if it can swim..."

They need to reunite Men At Work. The lead singer, Colin Haye is playing at the same club Jordan Knight played this week, a few weeks from now and I really do want to go. They can also reunite:

* Go West
*The Outfield
* Journey (Steve Perry is trippin')
*Five Star

There will be no reuniting of New Kids on the Block though. We really don't want to see that yall, no matter how much some say they do. A while back, some girl got my email address from somewhere and was mass emailing New Kids fans about getting them to reunite on Oprah. I wrote her back and told her that they have grown up and she should too. Give them a chance for their solo careers to take off. Let Jonathan recuperate for goodness sakes. Well she wrote me and went off. I let it go. A few months later, I found out that Joey McIntyre had a website and she wrote him to tell him of how hard she was working in getting them on Oprah and this is what this fool said:

"Honey, it aint gonna happen. We got s*** to do."

I HOLLERED. See, I tried to be nice to her. Someone should have told her that Joey Joe was nimble and quick. You gotta be def to be down with his click. (If you know where that is from, you are the best around.)

Those were the days.

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

And now what we have all been waiting for (at least I have anyway)

Jordan Knight Concert Review, January 27,2004

If you have read this blog for a good amount of time, you know that every outing Tia and I have together is at the very least eventful and this was no exception. This is one we are sure to tell the kids. While I did not "Pull a Rick Springfield" I did have to be held back and in true Toya fashion, once again, I showed my behind. It is now official, if Toya goes to concerts, Toya sits in the back.

About 10 of us were sitting at a table in the middle of 3rd and Lindsley waiting for Jordan to go on and I really didn't know what to expect. I didn't have high expectations at all. I had heard from a few people that the shows they went to were fun and they enjoyed hearing all of the old songs again. This didn't help me because I had no interest in any of the old songs before Face the I thought. Jordan Knight and his hype man(?) took to the stage opening with "My Favorite Girl" and I took off running to the front. Look now, I was taken by surprise. That was my JOINT back in the day. I could not front on that. I just couldn't. But then after the excitement wore off and I got closer to the stage (one of the benefits of being 5'2, you can bob and weave easier.) I started to see what some of you have been talking about.

I've heard from some that Jordan's performances have been a bit awkward. Some have speculated that this was due to drunkenness and even one hinted that Jordan is showing early signs of MS (Anne, you were wrong for that one. So wrong...). While I can't verify the drunkenness I can say one thing: Jordan is straight up out of shape. The uptempos were awkward for him as Jordan tried to get sexy on us and I hate to say it but if he is planning on doing more uptempos he has got to get into better shape. Jordan's dance moves were reminiscent of that one uncle at everyone's barbecue dancing to the Gap Band talkin' about "Oh I still got it. Watch out there now!" To put it plainly yall, Jordan is chunky. Aren't we all though? I mean really. You pull out some of your pics from the New Kids days and tell me if you can still fit into your ruffled skirt with suspenders and then tell me you can find AND fit into those spandex biker shorts you used to wear under them with your Debbie Gibson hat. Guys, go find an old pair of Z-Caviricci pants and if you don't wear yourself out by the time you have buttoned every button and zipped every zipper, THEN bend your fat behind over and try and pin tuck them suckers. Come on yall. You won't do that because you are most likely not in denial. Sadly enough, Jordan is.

I am not saying that Jordan whipped out the old mustard zoot suit tonight and started doing the Roger Rabbit. However I would not have put this past his hype man, Chad. Chad has all the signs of a "why oh why wasn't I the 6th member" New Kids fan. He moved about 5 times faster than Jordan and talked about 5 times more than Jordan. For those of us that remembered back in the day when Jordan was making arenas go wild, we couldn't quite understand what he needed this guy for and frankly it was embarrassing and quite annoying. Maybe he still isn't used to not being up there without 4 other people with him. Don't get me wrong, the boy can still sang. He sang "If You Go Away" and because I never can tell how loud I am I said"Sing the song, Jordan, sing the song". To which he chuckled"SHE SAID, sing the song. That's funny." Then Chad said, "The lady on the right wants you to take her to church" and then Jordan bust out into this old down by the river type organ playin and sang a little gospel. I HOLLERED. A couple of times he messed up the words and looked me and we just laughed. I got the fuzzies. I am not gonna lie.

I do believe that Jordan has fallen victim to a "try and do what they do" state of mind that robs many talented people in the industry; that as well as having poor management in his corner(not Jim). Not only is he underrated by the majority, I truly believe that he underrates himself. As he sat down at the keyboard and started taking request, it was plain to see what Jordan's element is and that is in much more laid back, soulful music. He still has a beautiful voice and an amazing range. You could even tell it in his face that sitting at a piano and singing songs that he can truly take his time with is where he is most comfortable and he shines when he is in that place. I was watching him from the side of the stage wishing that he would feel more encouraged to do the music that he truly can and wants to do. Which leads me to my all time wish that finally came true and the reason why I am not allowed to sit less than 10 rows away at any concert ever.

I have always wanted to hear Jordan Knight sing a Luther Vandross song. I don't take kindly to remakes however I knew that if anyone could do a great job with a Luther remake, it would be Jordan. I have been on a mission with this for about 10 years, no lie. I used to intern at a recording studio and some producers were going to work on his album and I tried to convince them all to get him to remake "Other Side of the World". My cousin was recording in the same studio he was one day and called me to ask me which song I thought he should remake and told him. So when Jordan said he was taking request...please... I did not care. I was like this is it. Well apparently the girl next to me had the same idea because at the same exact time he sat down at the keyboard, we yelled "A House is Not a Home". He scrunched up his face and said"What?" We yelled again. And then my man said"Play it easy..." Well I clenched my fist and jumped up and down. I really showed out. We are talking 10 years yall. I couldn't contain myself. Then he said,"I don't know that one but I know this one." And with his eyes closed, Jordan Knight sang "Let me hold you tight. If only for one night". I am about to scream right now just typing this , I swear to you. My mouth flew open in disbelief and I just stood there. I had to get my friend Cassidy to hold my hand in fear that I would pull a "Rick Springfield" and tackle him out of sheer gratitude. I finally got my wish. After Jordan sang all of Luther Vandross' "If Only for One Night", I turned to the silent crowd and said "See yall don't nothin' about that. Yall can't even feel that. Yall don't know!" Yeah, true Toya fashion. Acted a fool. I made my way to the middle of the bar with the rest of my friends in fear that I would embarrass all of us any further and of course to call a few friends.

Jordan is one of the unsung champions of our day similar to Ralph Tresvant and Bryan Abrams. His talent is timeless and I truly hope that for him and for all of us that he finds his niche. This industry is run by the young, the restless and the trendy but you can't take away true God given talent. On top of that, he has such a sweet spirit. There are certain people that you see perform and you know that that is just what they are born to do. However it is up to them to really believe in that talent and where it comes from to be successful using it. I hope to one day see Jordan playing in a nice jazz club with maybe a drummer and a guitar player singing his heart out to songs he truly loves and believes in. And when the dust settles on all these fly by night artists, I hope to be able to take my daughter out to see one of the best singers in my generation. To me, Jordan will always have the right stuff. (I couldn't help it. I'm sorry. Call it corny, call it what you want, I had to make one last joke. Okay, I'm done.)
Whaassup Yall!!!- Toya

Hey it's Toya. I know it has been a minute since I have written but I have taken on a new job at an artist booking agency (rah rah the crowd goes wild) and although we no longer have free cable and have had to switch to satellite, I am actually working in the industry and getting paid for it vs taking my 10th internship somewhere. God is good...and the church says... All the Time...

(Lord willin') I will be 30, 11 months from today. Let's hear it for the grown and sexy. I am trying to get my old folk 1,2 step down so I'll be ready.

BGLU Site News

First of all, Tia and I would really like to thank everyone that has written comments or private emails to us about how much they love our site. That means a lot. Due to the overwhelming response that we have gotten, look forward to our webzine coming this fall chock full of interviews and of course our commentary on life as we see it. Also, we are currently building our forum as so many of you have requested. If any of you have an ideas, feel free to email them to us.

Book News... One of our favorite authors and a friend of mine, Josh Harris, has a book out called "Not Even A Hint" and it is excellent. It is about battling lust. This a rare book of its kind because it looks at lust as not just a male problem but as a human problem. Why am I mentioning this? Well allow me to get open.

I want to talk to the girls. I know of more girls that struggle with lust and fantasies than the guys I know. I know a girl with a porn collection probably bigger than Ron Jeremy's. At least men can be more open about this but girls, not so much because it is not expected of us to even have to deal with these things. In Not Even a Hint, Josh mentions that quite a few letters that he has received about addictions to online pornography and the like are from girls and because this topic is so male focused, they have found it hard to get help. Not just that, but some of us are too self righteous to admit that it is even an issue. I am talking to my "True Love Waits" high and mighty ones right now. Want to know why I can't have the televison on by myself downstairs past 10 o'clock with no one in the house? Because like many of us who pride ourselves in not having sex outside of marriage, my curiosity in the past has gotten the best of me. CAN WE BE REAL PEOPLE? This IS BGLU for heaven's sake! Don't get all religious and prissy on me all the sudden. Let's put it out there. We shouldn't PRIDE ourselves at all because it is sheerly by the grace of God that we have even been able to abstain. Without Him, please...I'd be BUCKETY BUCK BUCK WILD. And I plan to be after I get that ring. Moving on...

To my fellas: In our society, there is a HUGE lie straight from the pit of hell that says guys must be lustful. We hear it all the time. "Oh guys are just pigs" or "Men are dogs." Look at the Spike Channel, the so called channel for men. Have you noticed that they are telling us that all men are really concerned about are fast cars and top heavy women jumping up and down on trampolines? If you are a guy, don't feed into the lie that guys are just supposed to be perverted. The bible says that God made you in HIS image and HIS likeness. Stand up for yourselves men. Believe the truth, not the lies.

We notice that a lot of hits come to our site from people looking for porn so let me say once and for all THERE IS NO PORN HERE. This is Black Girls Like Us meaning "similar" to us not Black Girls like us, want to be with us, etc. It is alarming to see the amount of hits ranging from people looking for "big black bootys" (oh we get to see what search engines people use along with their search criteria) to some crazy deviant stuff I care not mention. If you want to be set free, get this book. If you are struggling with getting your mind right and can't look at a man or woman without wondering how they would be in bed, get this book. If you came here for porn and are now disappointed that you didn't find any, kindly direct your attention to the upper left side of the web page, click on our helpful link and have a great day.
Side note: okay you are not going to believe this but as I was hyperlinking Josh's site to ours, I saw that he was offering this book free to anyone that mentions it in their blog. I DID NOT know about this at all and I already have the book. Now I have one to give away! Any takers? First one to email BGLU with their address gets this book free of charge.

Monday, January 26, 2004

Hi, my name is…
By tia

So what is up with guys not being MEN? I know that’s a blanket statement and I know it’s not all guys but it seems to be a real epidemic here in Nashvegas. Allow me if you will to paint you a picture. I was sitting in Starbucks yesterday with Toya. We were discussing plans for the new and improved BGLU website. If it doesn’t get us on Oprah then there is no justice. Anyway, there was a rather handsome young man sitting at a table not too far from ours. He appeared to be studying about financial matters. I applaud him for that because as a whole most people our age don’t understand the importance of a 401(k). It’s free money people. If you have the opportunity to become vested, DO SO. Now back to the handsome young man. As he sat reading his book on 401(k) for dummies I thought for sure I caught his eye. It’s not that I was staring but he was in my direct line of sight. I couldn’t really miss it. But I didn’t want to assume. Because who’s to say that he wasn’t looking out the window past me at some OTHER drop dead gorgeous girl. (For those of you who are new to the site, NO, I’m not that vain. I’m being, how you say, facetious.) But as the afternoon wore on I caught him looking. A Lot. And you can’t blame him. I do the same thing. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I just can’t stop looking at me either. (I’m sorry. I had to use that line. A friend of my said that to me when I was telling her this story and I cracked up laughing at the thought.) Now Toya and I were having a good time. Anyone within earshot would immediately know that we are the friendly, approachable, possibly in need of some sort of psychological attention kind of girls. I would have talked to the boy if he’d come over. But it was not to be. I was left with an afternoon of sideward gazes. Now maybe I’m antiquated in my thinking but I’m just not the kind of girl who goes running after boys. I used to be. I saw someone I wanted and I went after him with great fervor until he was mine, usually only to find out that he wasn’t nearly as cool as I thought he was when I didn’t know him. But now I think guys should be the pursuer. Step up and be a MAN. You think I’m cute? Come and say so. You want to know if I’m complete idiot? You’re not going to know unless you talk to me. You spent at least 2 hours looking at me and then you don’t say anything? What’s up with that?!?

In his defense, Toya made a very valid argument. We do live in the south. I am black. He was white. Things down here move a little slower than they would in, say, New Jersey where some white guy basically teleported down a one-way street to holla at Toya. You have to get her to tell that story. But in my mind all he had to do was look at me. I was wearing a Bobby’s World t-shirt from Hot Topic and I was sitting in STARBUCKS in Brentwood, the Orange County of Nashville. I’m obviously not the epitome of the “ ’round the way girl.” I would have at the very least talked to him.

I wish it were just me. But I’ve heard quite a few of my female counterparts say that they encountered similar situations. Guys giving off signals that they might be interested but not doing anything about it. One of my friends had a guy tell her that he wouldn’t ask a girl out unless he knew that she would say yes. That is so WEAK. Rejection doesn’t kill. It only maims. I’m kidding. But seriously, no one likes to be rejected. But being turned down is not the end of the world. Besides, what are the odds that you will ever see that girl again anyway? And if she does turn you down then it’s her loss. I mean unless she’s dating Orlando Bloom or something. Then you had no shot to begin with. “No”, “No, thank you”, “Get lost cretin!” are all character building words. They will make you stronger. Plus, she might just say, “Yes.” I mean look at Jermaine Dupree. There is no reason that anyone in their right mind would have thought he had a shot with Janet Jackson. I know I didn’t, and still don’t. I think the whole thing is a farce. I won’t believe it until I see it with my own eyes. And I don’t mean on television. I mean I need to run into them in the grocery store. But just think of all the guys that are sitting out there thinking, “You mean I really DID have a shot with Janet Jackson?!?” You don’t know until you ask.

So if by some chance 401(k) guy is reading, next time come on over and say “Hi.” I promise I won’t bite.

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Well I ended up joining the fan club. I couldn't help it. I wanted good seats. Besides NO ONE gave me a good reason to not join. And at the moment it's looking like it was a smart move. Our tickets are in the 9th row. Not too bad considering the size of Midsouth Coliseum. But me being me I tried to get closer tickets and was brutally rebuffed. Tickets went on sale at noon. I was finished with my transaction at 12:04. By 12:05 the were no more pre-sale tickets available. Whoa...I knew Mr. Mayer was popular but dang!!! So I figure beggars can't be choosy. (Or is it choosers? I've never known. )

So Toya and I will be going to see John and the angst ridden Maroon 5 next month. By the way does anyone know who Jane is and why she has a whole album of songs about her? Anyway, if you should read about 2 black girls accosting John Mayer and his road manager Scotty don't automatically assume it was us...But then again...

Sunday, January 18, 2004

Because all men are still not created equal
Because we still live in a country where people are judged by the color of their skin and not the content of their character
Because a land "where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers" is still sometimes hard to find
Because if America is to be a great nation then the dream must become true
Because the dream is not yet complete...

Let freedom ring.

Friday, January 16, 2004 (tia) future husband, John Mayer is going to be in Memphis at the end of Black History Month. Here's the dilemma. Tickets for fan club members go on sale in 4 days. Tickets for the rest of us go sale 4 days after that. I currently don't belong to the fan club. However, it's only $25 to join. The problem I have with that is, other than being able to buy tickets early, there appears to be no benefit to joining the club. You don't get to meet/date/kiss John. Not that I would do that. But for other people...I mean...they might want to.....

So I'm asking. What would y'all do? And I guess I should mention that I saw John 2 summers ago, third row center. And I saw him last year. And there is a better than average chance the he will be IN Nashville later this year so I wouldn't have to drive far. But he's only touring with Maroon 5 (my favorite "IT" band of the moment) until early spring. I seriously don't know what to do. The money is not a problem but at the moment I'm having a hard time justifying it. If they would throw in a meet and greet I would be sold. I could meet John and Toya could meet Scotty (John's road manager who loves KELLY ROWLAND NOT Beyonce. I think he called B a heifer once. But don't quote me) and we would could all live happily ever after. Help. Someone please help talk me into/out of this.

Thursday, January 15, 2004

Oh, the pain
by tia

You hear us talk about music an awful lot. We are staunch supporters of downloading. However, we are highly averse to lawsuits, fines, penalties, jail time and the like and as such we have severely reduced our downloading activities. Anyway, I (tia) love all kinds of music. I think I’ve got something from most of the major genres. When you start getting into the sub-genres like acid-jazz my collection may be a bit sparse. Although, I do have some Jamiroquai, so I guess acid-jazz could be removed from the “don’t have” pile. That being said the following anecdote should not shock you.

Rascal Flatts

I was flipping through the wasteland that is late night television when I stumbled across something that looked like a video that was taped at the Nashville airport. Being in Nashville, I always stop and watch a video that’s filmed locally because I never know who I might see. This particular one was the Rascal Flatts video for These Days. I’m not a huge country fan. I don’t hate it or anything but it’s definitely not my favorite. But I have to give Tim McGraw, Garth Brooks and Martina McBride props. They’ve got some hot tracks. Anyway, I was about to change when I caught wind of some of the lyrics. Now before I go any further I’m going to give you a little insight on Tia “the loon.” I love fictional pain, pain that is not real and not necessarily inspired by real life experiences. For example, in Hope Floats when the little girl loses it when her dad leaves…I LOVE THAT. It is so choice. The tragedy is so palpable. It is so shocking and poignant that it’s…well it’s funny. But only because I know the little girls is acting. If you haven’t seen it, the movie is worth renting for that scene alone…and for Harry Connick, Jr. The child should have gotten an Emmy, an Oscar or something. Now if the child had actually been in that much pain I would have beat her daddy to a pulp. But because all of the screaming and hollering is fake, that mess is hilarious. The same goes for broken man songs. Broken man songs are songs that Toya and I feel convey ultimate manly sorrow. Songs that offer pain and suffering that one would normally reserve for the female gender. A number of broken man songs litter our respective favorite songs lists. We’ve been saying that we are going to do a Broken Man Countdown. And when we have more that 4 waking hours together, we will. Moving on…I didn’t want to like Rascal Flatts. But I was sucked in by the pure unadulterated tragedy of the song. This poor man is PINING away for this girl who got away. (What is with guys not knowing what they have until it’s gone?) The sheer pain of it all is just fabu.

Verse 2
Yeah, life throws you curves
But you learned to swerve
Me, I swung and I missed
And the next thing you know
I’m reminiscing
Dreaming old dreams
Wishing old wishes
Like you would be back again

And the there is the chorus

I wake up in teardrops that
fall down like rain
I put on that old song we
danced to and then
I head off to my job
Guess not much has changed
Punch the clock, head for home
Check the phone, just in case
Go to bed, dream of you
That’s what I’m doing these days

I know that the fact that I find the whole situation comical is a bit twisted. And I don’t care. This song is GREAT. He is in a whole WORLD of hurt because of this girl. Pillow all wet, eyes all baggy because you know he’s been crying all night. And the hope…Oh, he’s is holding out hope that she’s going to call. But if she hasn’t called thus far...I’m just saying. His waking and sleeping states are permeated with thoughts of this girl. This was a bad broad.

I don’t normally do this but I actually bought the cd based on that one song. Thankfully it’s a pretty good cd. The last track is also vying for the top slot of “Most Broken Man Song” on the album. He wakes up on the morning he was planning on telling her he’s leaving and she’s left him. AHAHAHAHA

So if you didn’t know, now you know. There is something wrong with me. The weirdest things make me smile. Fake pain sometimes moves me to laughter. That can’t be normal. But I guess as long as REAL pain doesn’t move me to laughter I’m okay.

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

Mawage...Mawage is what bwings us!!!
By Tia

(If you haven't seen The Princess Bride, the title will make no sense.)

If you've been reading any length of time you know that I wouldn't mind being in a relationship. I'd liked to get married and have some kids. But I got a nice big fat dose of marriage reality this weekend.

Saturday began as it usually does for me. Sleeping until the sun was high in the sky, I eventually began the nearly impossible task of trying to convince myself that it really would be in my best interest to get out from under the layers of down and cotton and go out into the cold. Besides my bladder was screaming. A couple of hours later I finally made my way downstairs to find Toya on the phone with one of our friends who recently got engaged. Somehow I ended up on the phone and before I knew it I was in the car on the way to David's Bridal to help a friend in need pick out "The Dress" Then it began. The overwhelming feeling, the feeling that you may be crushed under the weight of the impending decision (or by some maniac bride to be) began to close in on me. And I wasn't even the one getting married.

Marriage is great. I want to get married. But I think in my mind it was just a day. This weekend I realized marriage is a noun. It is a person, a place AND a thing. Why didn't someone tell me? From the time you say, "Yes, I would love to marry you" a chain of events is set into motion that will change the entire course of your life, FOR-EV-ER (said like the little kid Squints from The Sandlot.)

A few years ago I thought I was close to getting married. I thank God every day for his sovereignty. I don't know that I would have made it. It's not just someone sharing your bed. It's someone sharing your life. Someone that you will have to now and forever more share everything with. I have this fairly disgusting habit that I'm trying to break DON'T ask because I'm not telling anyone. EVER. I'm trying like heck to break it because I don't want to have to tell anyone about it. Because I don't want to have to keep anything from the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. Even something as minuscule as...thought I was going to tell you...HAHA!!! The thought that there is someone walking this planet that will have full access to every thought and emotion is a bit unnerving. He will know that even when I'm not sharing everything, there is something on my mind. I will know that contrary to what he may say, everything is not "fine" The thought of being transparent is more than most people can handle.

Then there is the submission thing. Too often people hear submission and think slave. Wrong. There is a covering that comes with submission. It's not a "Do what I tell you kind of thing." At least that's not the way God intended it to be. I will probably be lambasted by all of the feminists who read our site but I don't really care. I don't have a problem with submitting to a man as the head of our household. Do I mean I want him to make every single decision that will affect us as a family? Absolutely not. But I will be willing to let him lead, let him cover and let him protect the way God designed him to. Being submissive is not akin to being a doormat. But I already know that the whole thing is going to be a learning experience. I come from a long line of domineering women who have the ability to hen-peck a man to no end. That dubious trait is not something I will continue.

And then there's the sharing. Did anyone see Friends last Thursday? JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I sometimes have problems sharing. I don't think it would be so much of issue with food, considering he put in on it, but space and time and duties are a whole other thing. I will have to share my space. For all intents and purposes he is required by law to be there. Any woman will attest to the fact that there are times when we just want to be bothered. We even have an anthem ala Monica's Just One of Dem Days (Don't Take It Personal.) But even when your hormones aren't raging and all of your ducks are in a row there are times when you just don't want to be bothered. You want time to be silent and stare at the paint on the walls because that is your prerogative. Or is that just me? Eventually I am going to want to get away from him but I will eventually have to go back home. The 2-carat white gold ring on my finger says that I have to. I will have to share my time. The liberty to sit and read for hours on end will be somewhat limited. The focus has pretty much been on me and what I wanted to do for the last 26 years. So when he comes home with tickets for the Lakers or Man U game I can't screw up my face because the game is at in inconvenient time. I'm going to have to do the C word: Compromise.

Having roommates off and on for the last five years has not helped me as much as I would like to admit in the area of compromise. I like things done a certain way. Dirty dishes go directly in the dishwasher. Clean clothes go on the shelf or in the drawer and are folded according to the Gap style of retail folding. CDs and DVDs are alphabetized. Tupperware is stacked largest to smallest. Floors are vacuumed/swept/mopped. I am the Monica of the house if you haven't noticed. But through all of my somewhat anal tendencies I've learned that sometimes you have to find some middle ground. Everyone is not the same. Where I would notice his dirty sock on the floor of the closet by the hamper, he may not. (But LORD I hope he does. I can't be married to a slob.) But there is a give and take to everything from cleaning to spending. "My way or the highway" does not work in marriage. Unless it has to do with cleaning...I'm kidding. I can not always have it my way. Marriage is not Burger King. I will not be able to just do what I want. Me, me, ME becomes us, us, US. Oh, it's going to be interesting.

So I'm not saying that I'm not ready. But then again is anyone ever really ready for marriage? But I do have a new outlook on marriage as a whole. It's definitely not all lambs and lollipops, pink fluffy clouds and sex all day everyday. From what I've gathered that crap you see on television is so deceptive. The half has not been, no, no. The trials and tribulations of marriage will definitely build my patience. And I'm not going to lie to you. I am SO up for the journey. I can't wait for it. The good, the bad and the ugly, i.e. me at 6 in the morning with my eyes crusted shut and that filmy stuff in the corner of my mouth. "Til death do us part" is a LONG time. But as long as I'm spending it with my best friends (Christ makes three for those of you scratching your head on the plural usage) forever won't be that long.

Thursday, January 8, 2004


URGENT ! If ANYONE has seen Afro Punk: The Rock and Roll Nigger Experience, please email or comment letting us know what your thoughts are. I saw a trailer on it at the official website and I (Toya) swear I will travel far and wide to see this movie. If you don't know about this it is a documentary on Blacks in the Punk scene. BGLU's, go and represent.

Vanguard Media disappointed A LOT of sistas including us when they announced that they were closing its doors. Vanguard Media was responsible for one of our fave mags Honey, as well as Savoy and Heart and Soul. Well it looks as if at least Savoy and Honey are making a comeback! New issues will be published in a few weeks.

Our girl Stacie Orrico is up for a Grammy. Yes, you can sing AND keep your clothes on. You go, Stacie!

Although witty and satirical at times, we are not witty and satirical enough to make this one up: there is a new magazine on stands called Fish 'n Grits that is a Hip Hop porn magazine. The first rapper to get in their and bare it all will be Method Man. The next issue will be a double issue featuring Bone Crusher and Fat Joe. Okay, we are kidding about that. Oh, the horror...

Wednesday, January 7, 2004

If you are not feeling him, I am NOT feeling you...

Toya's Boyfriend of the Month...Gary Dourdan!!!

Gary Dourdan is SO serious. Actually way too serious for my teeny boppish Boyfriend of the Week. More like Man "Who I Would Consider Proposing to Upon Introduction" of The Week. Anybody know his ring size?

Gary Dourdan has been giving us fever since he was Shaza on my favorite show of all time "A Different World". Now he is hurtin' 'em as Warwick Brown on the hit "CSI". Due to being absurdly squeamish, I can't watch CSI. However, if I am flippping channels and see that he is on, I'll watch it until they show somebody's eye falling out of their head. That show is so gross.

5 Things About Gary Dourdan:
1) Gary was born in Philadelphia, December 11, 1966.
2) Apart from being on CSI, he is host of Lyric Cafe', a great spoken word show on BET Jazz.
3) He has been nominated once more for a NAACP award for his role on CSI. He was nominated and won for this role last year.
4) Also a musician, he plays many instruments including guitar and saxophone.
5) When asked about his music he says, "I'm putting out two different CDs," he says. "One title is 'Chase du Jour,' or 'Chase of the Day.' ...The other one is more song-based. I'm working with some vocalists that are friends, putting out more ballads. I have two labels. I license one called Dynamite Joints, in London. Then, I'm putting out the other CD on my own imprint, Temple of Thoughts." He describes his sound as "neo-soul, future jazz, acid jazz, trip hop. It's under that umbrella of electronic music, but it would be organic electronic music."

*sigh* All the more reason to love him.

Saturday, January 3, 2004

No I'm not dead - tia

Okay, I know that’s it’s been a while since I graced you, our loyal readers, with my presence. I have a plethora of excuses, ranging from work (You try squeezing 4 weeks of work into 10 days so you can go on vacation) to just not having anything to talk about. I’m of the mindset that talking for the sake of taking up space is nonsensical. Random thoughts are one thing but just randomly babbling, like so many of our fellow blogging sycophants, is just ridiculous. But I digress. I’ve had a few people ask me where I’ve been since I haven’t posted since..umm…Anyway, we’ll just say I’ve been busy and move on.

The following are desultory thoughts/questions that I’ve had recently.

Things I’ve learned:
MTV DOES in fact still play videos. The station formally known as MUSIC Television, but dubbed Miscellaneous Television here at the 369, is not a complete and utter farce. Videos are played between the hours of 5-9a.m. central time. But it’s only on certain days. For instance today, January 2, 2004, and it looks like every Saturday from now on, there will be NO VIDEOS on MTV at any time. Don’t believe me? MTV’s younger ADHD sibling VH1, which I thought stood for VIDEO Hits 1 but could be accurately dubbed Very Hidden (videos) 1, plays videos from 2-9a.m. central time pretty much every day. However, they get a big boo-hiss for their programming choices. Can someone please tell me how The Hilton sisters’ Fabulous Life has anything to do with music?

Also, the 2 in MTV2 was a typo. It should have been MTVtoo. Slowly but surely, the big wigs at Viacom are ruining another music station with programs instead of music. Maybe in the Greek translation music meant (vaguely) music related SHOWS. There will be an MTV7 before too long. Video killed the radio star and MTV killed the video star. I will now move on.

Would someone please tell Kyan from Queer Eye that he’s not gay?

Please, anybody…

And if you see George Michael, tell him too. (I’m listening to Kissing A Fool and that song is soooo about a woman. Men can’t cause pain like that. The man is just confused.)

This is Centennial.

I met her last fall on a random trip to Mickeyville. She and her Brandan (whom she LOVES) were freakin’ adorable and I had to get a picture. If you have some free time to delve into the teenage psyche, you should check out her blog: She is the cutest thing and a definite BGLU in the making. And oddly enough she inspired me to make my one and only New Year’s resolution: read more. I’m not really sure why though. I know it had something to do with something I read on her blog but for the life of me I can’t remember what it was. Oh well. By the way Centennial, I have a book you need to check out, actually 2. “Jesus Among other Gods” and “The Lotus and the Cross.” Both are by Ravi Zacharias. Read JAOG first.

Does anyone know who sings that “My United States of Whatever” song that’s been in the commercial for the Tony Hawk video game? I thought it was Andrew W.K. but I can’t find it anywhere.

I leave for London in 89 days. I might not come back. Especially if I run into this

Okay, I know that I brought this on myself so I don’t have anyone to blame but me. I was looking for pictures to use for that last quote and I stumbled across some pictures of the boy that were just not designed to make you think good things. And before anyone asks, NO, he wasn’t nekkid or anything. In his new book, Not Even A Hint, Josh Harris quoted Dr. Al Mohler as saying, “Men are tempted to give themselves to pornography - women are tempted to commit pornography.” Basically, when you dress and behave in a way that is designed to primarily arouse sexual desire you’re committing pornography with your life. Now I’m not saying that our boy Orli is doing that, but the whole picture situation got me to thinking. What is wrong with our society as a whole? Why are so many people, men and women, willing to ho’ themselves for attention? And at what point did “Hollywood” decide that it was okay to push the soft-core porn on us at every turn? Magazines, Basic Cable, shoot, basic television (I saw some “funbags” on ER a few months ago. Old lady funbags at that.) Everywhere we turn, there seems to be sex. What the heck???

It’s getting late and I have to meet a friend for breakfast in the morning. What is up with people wanting to get up before 9 on a Saturday? I make no promises about writing more. If I feel inclined, I will contribute. But like I said, talking just to talk is stoopid.

Okay my friend just called to tell me that her friend went into labor and she won’t be able to make breakfast so I will plug on for a while longer.

Our Society in Further Decay
Not too long ago, Toya came home and asked us if we’d heard a song called F- you, you B- I don’t want you back. Initially, I thought she was kidding. Oh how my heart broke when I realized she wasn’t. The song is called F- It. It’s by the newest artist to be added to the Jive label, Eamon. The song is horrible all the way around. Content, production, delivery, everything. It sounds like Aaron Carter got really mad at Hilary Duff and then let his newly ghetto-fied big bro Nick write him a song. I thought the song itself was joke, but much to my chagrin, the little nose picker has some sort of record deal. I don’t know why I was surprised to learn this. I mean, this is the same label that employs an alleged child molester and allows Jennifer Love Hewitt to keep cranking out albums. They have a proven track record of idiocy. The song is in heavy rotation on one of the local stations here, giving me yet another reason to never listen to the radio. Even the DJs seem ticked off that they have to play it. “I’m not really sure why this song is number one. I guess it’s just a reflection of how things are.” – unnamed DJ ON AIR during the "Top 5 @ 5" on 102.5 here in the ‘Ville. What gets me is how people sincerely don’t understand why Johnny is cursing out his teachers and why “these kids just don’t seem to have any respect for themselves or anyone else.” Are ya kidding?

I’m so tired and so I will bid thee good day…