On Second Thought...
On my way to getting my pizza for my pity party, I received a phone call from a dear friend of mine that let me know in so many words that I was being an idiot. I didn't realize it until we got off the phone because she was so nice about it. It took me a few minutes and then I thought "She really just told me about myself. Wow, I need to call and thank her." Not too many people do this for me or if they do, there is a chance I just don't receive it well. I don't know what made this time special but I immediately straightened up, forgot all about what's his name (not a diss, he is still a great person), made a U-Turn on my route to Blockbuster to pick up The Truth About Cats and Dogs and sucked it up. I am officially over it. No black confetti, no Sade CD's "Stronger Than Pride" on repeat until I cry myself to sleep. Nope, none of that crap. I am my old self again. Actually I am better than my old self.
What Tina reminded me of during our little chat is that too many times women go backwards. We don't cut our losses. We continuosly go back to dead relationships and take no step of faith. How many times have I thought that I may have been too hard on an ex-boyfriend because it didn't look like I would be getting involved with anyone anytime soon? Sometimes we make bad decisions but sometimes we make the right decisions under hard circumstances and we still have to trust those decisions. One of the hardest things I have ever had to do was to break up with someone I loved. I never thought that my reasons for doing so were wrong but because I loved him so much (them actually, this has happened quite a few times) , I found myself trying to make excuses to go back. While my feelings changed, the decision I made couldn't change because the circumstances were still the same.
Break the cycle and keep it movin'. Don't go back. Be excited about what God has for you and thank him for lessons learned. If there is a chance that you and a past love are to reunite, DON'T TRY TO FORCE IT TO HAPPEN. Trust God that it will be evident that that is the way things are supposed to be. Don't get anxious but tell God what you need and trust Him to make that decision. Don't jack it up. At least this time, I managed to keep the friendship. I haven't always come out this fortunate.