Friday, December 5, 2003

More End of the Year Rhetoric- Toya
Yes Tia, I am working. It's just a little slow this morning.

This was a year of many highs and lows. I got into two car accidents, but managed to get a new car despite horrendous credit. I finally got to go on a cruise only to come back to find that my whole office has been laid off right before Christmas. I lost 25 pounds but I still have no date for my office Christmas party or simply put, no dates at all. Everything seemed to be a Catch 22 this year. Tia and I met Kenny Loggins but after sitting throughh his concert in a terrential downpour. Oh but wait, there was the Poison show that went rather smoothly. There's the light in the tunnel.

We have gotten emails and made some new buddies through this website (where is Corey Meeks, by the way?) and also have made a few enemies. And while gettnig closer to the Lord, I have a deeper knowledge of how much of a sinner saved by grace that I am. If one is in a dimly lit place, they won't notice the dirt on them but the closer they get to The Light, they notice how filthy they are. The beginning of the year, I had a few spots but now it is the end of the year and I look like a chimney cleaner covered in soot.

I was challenged on a lot of things this year both on my worldview and my view of myself. My prejudices were exposed and I hated to have to come face to face with them. I have been forced to be more compassionate and to find out where others are coming from before I judge them. I also learned that to have an opinion on something is different than taking a stance on something. Meaning, obviously , I am quite opinionated. However, if I take a stance on something, I need to have all of the facts. Yeah, I don't really like these lessons, however, they are making me a better person. The shifiting of one's paradigm is often painful similar to the shifitng of one's elbow joint. For me it is anyway.

Thankfully, however, I am thankful for all of the changes nad the growth through all of the trials this year. It seems that I have been forced to grow up faster and I can safely say that I finally feel like an adult. My life long struggles have turned into areas that while I have to keep under close supervision as to not get sucker punched by Satan, I have total victory over in Christ. That is so exciting to me! I finally feel free and I have never been able to say that before. I finally feel confident, as if I CAN do things vs settling for how I have always been. Thank you God for my brand new life.

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