Wednesday, October 15, 2003

As I have already mentioned I spend a lot of time traveling. As such, I have a lot of time to think. So there may be a lot of random postings in the next few months. I am ever so grateful for this laptop.

Okay first up…

Top ten shows I REALLY miss.

10. Danger Mouse
This show used to come on Nickelodeon. It was about a British mouse (are you surprised?) that solved crimes with his sidekick Penfold. I think Penfold was a ground hog but they never really said and I was only six so I didn’t really care. I used to watch this show every Saturday with my dad while we ate silver dollar pancakes. I stumbled across copies of the show on sale on Of course, they are only available in the UK. I’m beginning to think that all things pop-culture eventually end up in UK

9. Parker Lewis Can’t Lose
Do not even front and act like you didn’t love that show. Parker Lewis was the prototype for the modern day Shea boy. He was cool, slick and you either wanted to be him or be with him. I couldn’t believe it when they took that show off of the air. Some people sincerely lack vision.

8. I can’t remember the name of my number 8. But it was about a girl who was half alien and she could freeze time. Her name was Edie and she stopped time when she put her index fingers together. I am not ashamed to say that I tried it…more than once. 5000 points to the person who can e-mail me the name of the show.

7. The USA Cartoon Express
Remember when you could get up in the morning and watch cartoons until noon? You didn’t have to worry about lame shows and your parents knew that you were well taken care of until midday. The Cartoon Express was so very serious. It came on at 6 a.m. and commenced entertaining you with a who’s who of cartoon stars? I LOVED the segments that were cartoon versions of Battle of the Network Stars. You had 3 different groups of Hanna-Barbera stars battling it out for the Saturday bragging rights. I am convinced that that show was a work of pure genius.

6. Picture Pages
Okay, so picture pages wasn’t a SHOW but you can’t say that you didn’t love it. Go ahead…you can sing the theme song. I’ll wait. This is the only time in my life that I can remember being excited about commercials. I was so PISSED when I found out the pen didn’t really make that noise. Bill Cosby went on the “bad man” list for a long time after that.

5.Fraggle Rock
I am down right giddy just thinking about the show. “It’s the Trash Heap! MAAAYYYAAAA!!!!” The show was a little weird and twisted but you know you loved it just like I did. To this day I still don’t know what a Fraggle is. There has to be a petition somewhere that will get this show back on the air or at the very least on DVD.

4. Esteban’s Cities of Gold
I think the show was a Brazilian import, possibly Mexican. It was one of the shows that has something of a kiddie cult following You’ve either never heard of it or you were up at the crack BEFORE the Cartoon Express to watch it EVERY SINGLE Saturday. I remember being at my grandmother’s house and getting up while it was still dark so I could watch COG. I would sing the theme song loudly and off key. I honestly don’t know if they ever actually found the COG.

3. The Electric Company/Mr. Wizard/3-2-1 Contact
I put all of these shows in the same category because they’re basically the same. Learning shows were okay to watch back in the day. I was the BIGGEST nerd when I was in school. Shows like these let me know that it was okay to be smart. In fact, you could be smart and be on television. And I just knew that when I was old enough I was going to be a part of the Bloodhound Gang. And I was going to run that piece. As far as Mr. Wizard went, I never had the stuff to do the experiments. Apparently, there was some sort of income requirement to take part in the scientific fun. I probably could have gotten some sort of kiddie stipend/scholarship but I didn’t know where to send my FAFSA information.

2.You Can’t Do That On Television
The only thing I knew about Canada is that it produced slime. If you don’t think this was one of the best shows, EVER, then there is just no helping you. And if you didn’t feel Alastair, I might have to pull your BGLU card.

This was one of the most crude, ridiculous shows on television. That may explain why the show was on for so long. Kids love anything gross. Remember Barth, the chef at the local restaurant? You would think that if someone name Barth owns the place it’s probably not passing any sort of sanitation inspections. But nonetheless, every week someone would eat there and their dining experience always culminated in regurgitation.

The show started off in syndication in Canada and made its way across the border to become a massive hit. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t seen at least one episode. Last week while searching for episodes on Ebay, I realized that the show is still emmensly popular. The DVD was going for upwards of $100. And I can’t say that I didn’t think about throwing my hat into the ring. There are no legitimate copies to be found and we’re all familiar with the law of supply and demand. It makes me kind of wonder why the person who owns the rights to the show doesn’t put each season on DVD. I would buy every single one. And I have a feeling that I’m not alone.

1. The Mickey Mouse Club
Oh, the humanity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY, WHY, WHY was this show taken off of the air? Who is responsible? This was without a doubt my favorite show of all time. It had everything I needed: singing, Damon, dancing, Damon, funny skits, Damon and it had DAMON. I LOVED that boy. (When he did that remake of that Rob Base song, “Damon won’t you turn it out/Gotta make the people scream and shout” I thought I was going to pass out.) I would run home everyday from Miller Grove Junior High School (shout-outs to the Raiders) to watch. I would call my friend Rebecca and we would scream together for an hour or so. I wanted to be a Mouseketeer so badly. They held auditions at one of the malls in Atlanta and I was all about trying out. I predictably chickened out upon arriving but at least I went down there. And think about all of the Gen-X stars the show produced. Kerri Russell, JC (who I’ve now had a crush on for 14 years. Somebody help me), Justin Timberlake, Tony Lucca (I heard he’s going on tour with JC. I will be in the front row, throwin’ ‘bows if I have to), Matt Morris, that country kid from Remember the Titans, Britney, X-tina and I’m sure there’s many more I just can’t think of at the moment.

We have the MMC to thank for giving us The Party. Yes, I own a Party cd. And I play I Found Love to death. How could you not love them? Chase (did he EVER get around to choosing a hair style? He was having issues for a while there.) Damon and Albert in one group?!?!?!?!?!?!? Love is in the air, every where I look around.

I have this theory. Actually it’s more of a deeply held belief. I think that pop music would not be as suggestive as it is if the MMC was still on the air. I say this because every day on the show, the Mouseketeers would do their rendition of a song that was on the charts. We would watch the show, see our favorite MMC-er singing the song and then bug our parents to death until we had the cassette single. I truly believe that record execs knew this and were systematically releasing kid friendly songs that would subsequently end up on the MMC for all of pre-pubescent world to hear. We hear it, we like it, we spend our lawn mowing/babysitting money to buy it. Once the show was off of the air, there was no reason to keep the quality standards high. Think about it. There is no way that 90% of the songs on the air would ever make it on to the MMC. I’m thinking of writing a dissertation on this. The people need to know. And a link to an online petition to either bring the show back or put it on DVD will be circulating shortly.

Oh yeah, some honorable mentions
Today’s Special
The Great Grape Ape
Dynomutt and The Blue Falcon
Munchichis (Munchichi means happiness)
The Hair Bear Bunch

I would love to hear about some of your favorites. Hit us up.

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