Wednesday, September 3, 2003

No Need for Hateration, Holleration in This Dancery...

If you have been reading the site for the past couple of days, you are aware of a recent debate we had with a few of Tia's former classmates about some things that offended them about our site. After reading the site today, I realized that things had gotten WAY too serious. What happened to the fun? I honestly started to get self conscious about things that I wanted to post in fear that some people would feel like "Oh, well she is just posting James Blake as Boyfriend of the Week to prove something" or whatever. So I have removed the whole debate from Tia's and my posts to the comments sections themselves.

We will however post an email from Tone, a brotha from Queens who took the time to write us his opinion about how he saw the whole situation. This was not only quite insightful but a relief. Truth be told, the only opinions about this site that really, really mean anything to us is that of black men. We know we got a lot of white boys on this site and trust us, we will have a lot more. Still at no time do we want black men to feel unappreciated, slighted, offended, or disrespected. We would sooner shut this site down.

So even if you missed the whole mini drama, read Tone's email. It's quite fresh.

Email from Tone in Queens, NY:

Man, everyone is picking on Tia lol. Tell Tia I said that I love her (I don’t know her though lol).

Nah but seriously, it’s probably a culture clash going on with the posters at your site. I’m not surprised because the issue of black “pride” is a very sensitive topic with a lot of people. Inside and out. We’re the only people in America who were NEVER supposed to have pride...historically, and it goes on in our “American” culture even today. We’re the only people who have a history of being “seasoned” to look up to white people in every aspect of our lives. We’re supposed to revere them, think they are “the beautiful” people, pattern our lives,looks,views and speech after them, learn about them in school and basically pay attention to them more than others. Love them, not ourselves. This has gone on for so long until it is a very sensitive topic and it stirs up deep feelings for most people.....especially if they’re in the “trenches” everyday. Just look at the emotion being showcased on the poor weblog.

On the other hand, they have to understand that your reality is very different from their’s. We were all raised in different families and taught different things and different ways. Based on location (a lot of times) we listened to different music and wore different clothes. So I think that they must tap into y’all’s (bglu) reality and understand it from your perspective. I was watching the news and I saw the memorial service participants all in the streets for Cecilia Cruz. I mean, thousands upon thousands of people were out there. I couldn’t believe it! But that just went to show me, someone else’s reality of New York City is TOTALLY different from mine. I mean these people were lined up from Harlem to the Bronx. That was bigger than Jam Master Jay, Biggie and Aaliyah’s put together. I had no idea. But like I said, if someone told me that she was that famous the day b4 I would have been skeptical.

So anyways, I think that because we are a people who are at war with ourselves (not by mistake) we tend to get very emotional about our stances or even the lack there of. I wish that more people could be TOGETHER on the issues that they agree about and AGREE TO DISAGREE on the topics that they don’t agree on. That’s how we become unified and make strides. I hate to see people fighting the WRONG battles with the wrong people as the target. It’s almost like how NO civil rights leader would say anything bad personally about another civil rights leader. And they disagreed plenty! Lastly, the stance that I take is that I understand where both parties are coming from. I don’t agree or disagree with everything anyone was saying. BUT, I do think that people should abide by the rules of the site and if they have a personal beef then email Tia personally and voice it. I don’t want to read that as a poster if I identify with BGLU. I just want to be entertained by the site. Man! on one hand, pop culture does the most damage to the black image of anything else. It’s just like the media. Crime went down in the black community by 20% in 2001 and media coverage of crimes in the black community went up by 600%. What does that tell us? The most illegal guns and illegal drugs are far more a problem in the suburbs. But for some reason we’re the scapegoat for “white” america’s fears. As long as they can come home from a hard days work and see one of us being brought to justice, they feel secure. When, at the same time, for every ONE crime that goes on in the inner-city, statistics say that there are 17 in the suburbs by the youth. But we don’t know this of course. Thus you felt you had to lock your doors when you saw “me” coming down the street basically. The music industry in NO exception. Pop culture is at the helm of it. They always go out and fund the 50’s and the Snoops of the world. The image gets shattered like crazy! Thus I get pulled over every other week.

So when you’re in the trenches of that reality, being misrepresented, it’s hard to look to pop culture as something that even respects “us”. After all, we (the positive artists) outweigh negative artists by a landslide! Also, we (who are not criminals or who don’t act like 50) outweigh the 50’s by far! Although 50 (who’s from my neighborhood) has a story to tell as well. It’s actually not his fault that the media and music biz are over-exposing our people who are in his shoes. It’s capitalism for them...the violence is selling. To fight 50 is to fight the wrong enemy in my opinion. There is a system at work behind it all. At the same time, it’s just entertainment (although it shapes the minds of many) and justin timberlake CAN sing, and Thicke is talented, and Poison is a great band. Their music is to be celebrated as well. Especially if you came up on it. Or if that’s “home” for someone.

I’m all for BGLU because it DOES represent another side of who we are.

It represents a way of thinking in America by some African American women. It’s truthful and it has integrity. How can you dispute that? But being that we still suffer from America’s dark past (and present) and “they” benefit from it (and from us), it will be a HOT HOT HOT topic to some people. Hell, when the president of the United States of America’s father is an ex-president who was also in charge (CIA) of the harassment, death threats and death of a man such as Martin Luther King Jr, a man after God’s own heart, something’s wrong. And that’s the household the President grew up in?

OUR DAY TO DAY STRUGGLES AS BLACK PEOPLE (in our psyches) IS A VERY VERY SERIOUS THING. I just hope we can learn about and respect each other’s up bringings and positions. Different people have different realities. There’s a lot of misdirected anger going on with the site’s posters.

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