Thursday, September 25, 2003


Thank you so much for all of your prayers and encouragement. After taking the bus, bumming rides and waking up at ungodly hours interrupting dreams of me and Brett Michaels, I finally have a car!!!!!! Last night I drove away in a 2000 Toyota Corolla! Praise God! I have already named her. Her name is Marilyn. I have no idea why. My first two cars were named after men, Malik (Yoba) and Maxwell (because it was black and sleak). This time, I wanted to give my car a girl's name. I love it!

Even though I am excited about my car today, I couldn't allow myself to be too excited last night. In fact I was a bit disappointed in myself. My attitude has sucked ever since I lost my car and everything just snowballed. I hate the fact that my joy seems to be dependent on what I have. I knew that God knew I needed a car. There were just some things I had to go through before He blessed me with one. It wasn't until 2 weeks ago that I actually started to get my heart right. So when I wanted to bust out in a holy dance in the Toyota parking lot, I started thinking "You should have been just as happy and praising God WEEKS ago." See, it doesn't matter the circumstance. Circumstances should not affect your joy. Happiness is fleeting but joy lasts. My joy was zapped. Sure I was laughing and having fun from time to time but I was struggling inside due to my lack of faith and just being salty. So this is one of things I have learned out of the many things i have learned through this whole ordeal: I cannot let my trials rob me of my joy. I have to be patient and joyful through suffering because I am a child of God and therefore everything I need is taken care of whether I can see it or not. These things will make me stronger in the end and will make me into the person God wants me to be.

Another thing is I needed to get a car myself verses letting my dad get me a car because I needed to know that I could do it myself. My last car was the last thing my dad was taking care of for me so now I am officially an adult. And that makes me much happier than getting a new car ever could.

Man, I need to get all of you to pray for me more often!I got my car about 2 days after I asked everyone to pray for me to get one. Now if you would all put your hand on the screen and pray that I marry Lenny Kravitz... (Look, you have not cause you ask not. I aint 'shamed!)

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